Chapter 6#

At the end of the month, a buddy’s family went on a long trip. He said he got a good movie and invited everyone to watch it.

The boys in the class all followed along. More than a dozen sat on the sofa, and those who couldn’t fit squatted on the floor.

Yan Wei and Yu Lin sat in the very middle of the sofa. As soon as the movie started, everyone’s eyes widened. The sound was a bit messy. No mosaic. The woman had a nice figure, and the man had a small belly.

After about five minutes, someone started asking to use the restroom. The room full of people was in chaos.

Yan Wei’s eyes kept staring at the floor, his ears exposed outside his hair turning red. Yu Lin accidentally touched Yan Wei’s hand, and Yan Wei immediately dodged like a rabbit. When he went out, he bent his waist and clamped his legs.

Yu Lin asked him the next day: “Is it your first time watching that?”

Yan Wei hummed: “How could it be.”

He hesitated for a while, revealed a cat-that-stole-the-cream smile, took out a biology textbook without a cover, turned to page 147. The illustration showed two frogs.

Yu Lin stared at it for a while and didn’t quite understand until Yan Wei turned the textbook upside down. That pair of frogs were hugging each other in a ball.

“Hugging each other.” Yan Wei smiled lewdly. That crumpled textbook paper had obviously been flipped through many times.

Yu Lin sat on the desk and gently pushed Yan Wei’s shoulder, “Idiot.” Yan Wei’s eyes widened, he started shouting something, but Yu Lin couldn’t hear a word.

His hair was very soft. If you got close and took a deep sniff, you could smell the dry scent of soap.

Yu Lin lowered his eyes slightly, smelling Yan Wei’s scent. The desk was shaking, and the laughing voices were like an absurd but reassuring pantomime. Sunlight surged between the open classroom door and the windows. The sound of the old piano in the piano room, for some reason, suddenly wasn’t annoying anymore.

Yu Lin’s hand lifted slightly, brushing past Yan Wei’s waist. They were too close, so close that he couldn’t suppress the desire to hold Yan Wei. That hope was pure to the point of pain, hot and cold.

Yan Wei stared at his face for a while, scratched his head somewhat embarrassedly. “Not messing with you anymore, the class bell rang.” Yu Lin quietly watched Yan Wei walk back to his seat step by step.

Yan Wei sat down properly, twirled his pen for a while, turned his head to glance at Yu Lin, and frowned. “Hey, don’t keep staring at me.” Yu Lin lowered his head and opened the textbook. Yan Wei scratched his ears and cheeks for a while, then whispered again: “Hey, Mumu, Mumu.” Yu Lin looked up at him. Yan Wei said: “Nothing, I’m just calling.” Yu Lin suddenly smiled at him. What exactly is the name of this feeling? Green, bitter, pulsating, powerful, irresistible.

When Yu Lin walked out with his schoolbag on his back, he heard Yan Wei and his buddies singing. That group of people sat on the windowsill of the classroom on the second floor, arms around each other’s shoulders, howling, deliberately pretending to have hoarse voices.

“I want to walk from the south to the north!

I also want to walk from the white to the black!

I want people to see me!

But not know who I am!”

At that time, the sun was slanting severely, blocked by the not-so-tall teaching building. The clouds were dyed, and magnificent burning clouds were stacked. Youth was like weeds visible everywhere, unsparingly lush in every corner.

The answer from that person was long in coming: “He, refers to whom?”

“Naturally it’s Yan Xi,” Cui Dong waved his hand upon hearing this. Seeing Yu Lin cherishing his words like gold more and more, he got annoyed, “What exactly are you thinking?” Yu Lin’s face was slightly turned to the side. The direction he was looking at only had a small bookshelf, empty. Where books should have been placed, there was a glass cup filled with crystal soil. A few withered red sorrel plants were inserted obliquely in the cup, decorating the pale wall.

Yu Lin’s gaze stayed there for a long time before he withdrew his line of sight. “What can you help with?” Cui Dong glared at him. After a stalemate for a while, he laughed self-deprecatingly, supported himself with a backhand, and jumped to sit on the desk. “I can come up with ideas.” Yu Lin’s frowning appearance was like a ladle of water poured onto hot charcoal; the closer the person, the more they feared this ladle of cold dampness. He could always do this, turning a cavity of furnace fire into charcoal ash. “You can’t help. Whatever I do is wrong.” Cui Dong seemed to understand. “Whatever you do is wrong. Indeed, but you have to let one down eventually. Since it’s like this, it’s even more important to see what you think in your heart?” Yu Lin suddenly asked back: “Do whatever I think in my heart?”

Cui Dong seemed to feel this matter was too inexplicable. Dumbfounded, he stammered instead: “Of course. Choose whoever you like more, whoever you love…” Cui Dong hadn’t finished speaking when he was interrupted.

“Then what’s the difference from what I did in the past?” Yu Lin spoke a bit fast. The anger in his words was directed more at himself than at Cui Dong.

“Because I couldn’t endure it anymore, so I only sought my own pleasure!”

Cui Dong looked at him, unable to understand a single word he said. “Then what should be done? If even being with someone doesn’t follow one’s preference. Then tell me what should be done?” He grabbed Yu Lin’s collar, gritting his teeth: “You guy, say something!” Yu Lin was silent for a while, looking at Cui Dong losing his cool, and said with faint self-mockery: “What I think is not a big deal. It’s nothing even if I don’t say it for a lifetime. It’s quite good to be like you, following your heart’s desires, but I don’t want to become that kind of person.” He watched Cui Dong’s hand loosen bit by bit, took two steps back, and straightened his clothes with one hand.

Hearing the sound of Yu Lin closing the door, Cui Dong took off his gold-rimmed glasses, placed them on the desk, and rubbed the bridge of his nose where red marks had been pressed out.

“You guys quarreled again?”

Cui Dong was stunned: “Auntie?” He hurriedly put on his glasses and nudged the head nurse with his elbow, “When did you come in? You heard everything?” “Only a deaf person wouldn’t hear. I heard your voices at the staircase.” The woman held a kraft paper bag under her arm and stuffed the stethoscope into the pocket on her chest, “He thinks he changed from irresponsible to responsible? I just can’t stand it. Why let down the same person twice? This is called changing?” Cui Dong curled his lips. “Whatever he does is wrong, he knows it himself.” Only then did the head nurse remember the paper bag in her hand, “Look at the urine test results.” Cui Dong opened the kraft bag and took out the stack of documents inside. The head nurse pointed to a few places, “Same old thing, microscopic hematuria and proteinuria.” Cui Dong responded: “He’s always been considered good. Others have recurrent gross hematuria, not to mention eye lesions.” The head nurse looked at him, “You child, when can you be serious.” Cui Dong moved the document a bit further away, “What’s wrong?”

“Estimate we need to prepare for a hospital transfer. High-frequency sensorineural hearing loss has already started to appear. Past cases are all like this. After twenty and before thirty, entering end-stage renal failure.” Cui Dong’s hand paused there. The lenses reflected some light, making his expression unclear.

The head nurse pushed him, “When the time comes, we’ll borrow a doctor from the hepatobiliary and renal surgery department who understands the situation to go with him. If you’re really worried about him, be more active with matters big and small in the hospital recently.” Cui Dong was silent for a long time before saying: “What am I worried about? Isn’t kidney transplant very effective for Alport syndrome?” He clearly said this, but there was no smile at all. He patted his doctor’s robe and slowly stood up. “Alright Auntie, I know.” The head nurse looked at him and just smiled: “You just have to have the drive.” Cui Dong pushed his glasses, “Go busy yourself. I still have surgery this afternoon.” He was anxious to chase people away, but that person smiled and didn’t move. The smell of disinfectant suddenly became pungent. After a long time, he added a sentence: “Auntie, he plays the piano. If something goes wrong with his ears, I’m afraid he can’t take it.” The head nurse glared at him, “How long has he been mentally preparing? He’s not that fragile. Isn’t the one surnamed Yu going to accompany him?” Yu Lin sat on the chair next to Yan Xi.

Yan Xi tilted his head and leaned on his shoulder, “If Yan Wei wants to come back one day, let him choose now. Only at this time do I dare to be certain that you won’t leave with someone else.” Yu Lin’s hand stiffened for a moment before continuing to comb the messy hair on his forehead.

“Is my expectation value this low?” He said in a low voice: “He won’t come back. He told me, there is no grief greater than the death of the heart.” Yan Xi closed his eyes, his hand trembling a little, “Who said that? If the heart is dead, how can there be grief?” He cursed fiercely: “There is no grief greater than the heart not dying…”

Yan Wei was still hiding here and there.

In the first few months, although he worked himself to death and couldn’t save money, at least it was stable.

A few fellow workers slacked off together, turning a blind eye to each other, and this counted as friendship. Being far away, he thought less about the past. Even if he felt uncomfortable and tossed and turned in the middle of the night, he could make an excuse saying: “It’s nothing, just homesick.” The trouble was what happened later.

“Traffic jam again.”

On the highway, a truck full of goods mingled in the slowly moving traffic flow. The road was congested, vehicles of all sizes stopped and moved, making people anxious enough to scratch their ears and cheeks.

“Hey, Yan Wei, didn’t you need to pee?”

Yan Wei lay horizontally on the back seat. The red paint peeling off the car body was distressing. Even the car window was broken and couldn’t be rolled up, letting the cold wind pour in with a whoosh. A fashion magazine covered his head; unknown how many people had flipped through it, the corners of the pages were curled and couldn’t be smoothed out. Hearing the voice, as soon as he lifted his head, the magazine fell from his face with a slap. “Arrived?” “Not yet, slept yourself confused?” The young man in the driver’s seat waved his hand.

Yan Wei looked front and back, seeing the speed was like an old lady with bound feet, he muttered: “Help me look, no one is following us, right.” Seeing the driver shake his head, he supported himself with his hand, jumped from the back row to the passenger seat, pushed open the door and jumped down. Horns immediately rose and fell. Yan Wei put his left hand in his trouser pocket, stretched his right hand forward in a blocking gesture, trotted all the way across the traffic flow, reached the roadside, climbed over a half-meter-high iron railing, unzipped and peed.

After a piss, the truck he was riding in had moved less than five meters.

Yan Wei hummed a song, leisurely squeezed back through the gaps in the traffic flow, stepped on the tire and climbed up. His buddy pointed to the road sign next to them, “Sixty-eight kilometers more and we can get off the interchange.” Yan Wei yawned: “Then I’ll sleep a bit more. If someone follows, call me.” That person responded, dug out a yellowed towel from the glove box, and wiped the sweat from his palms.

Curses came faintly from outside the window: “Still radar speed limit. I want to speed, can I even speed up?” Yan Wei fell asleep amidst the noise. He slept very lightly, dreaming of slipping while going down steps, kicked his leg violently, and woke up again. In a daze, he rocked for more than an hour before getting off the interchange. Suddenly heard the driver shout: “Brother Yan!” Yan Wei was stunned for a moment before realizing, turned his head to look, and saw a black sedan following far behind. He woke up completely at once, pushed the driver’s back, “Drive faster.” That person also tried to overtake, but was blocked in the middle by small cars, couldn’t speed up, and got anxious too: “Can’t go fast, Brother Yan. Getting to the intersection ahead, it’s all alleys, run by yourself.” Yan Wei responded: “Drop me off ahead.”

Just as they drove to the intersection, Yan Wei jumped off the car, staggered forward several steps by inertia. He waved to that buddy, then darted into the alley, ran all the way sweating profusely, thinking he had shaken off the people behind before stopping.

The glass windows of the nearby shops were polished brighter one after another, reflecting the appearance of passersby. Yan Wei saw his reflection on the glass, hair disheveled, with a few white hairs mixed in, so thin, eyes lifeless.

Subconsciously avoided the gaze, lowered his head and wiped his face a few times. The roads extended in all directions; one direction was a variable. For a moment, he didn’t know where to go.

He threw his jacket over his shoulder, just about to walk forward, when he suddenly saw a black sedan drive into the intersection ahead. The car body was polished surprisingly bright. Yan Wei was startled and wanted to run, but found a car blocking behind him too.

That sedan was parked across the center of the street. The window of the back seat slowly rolled down. Inside sat a middle-aged man. He looked a bit like Yu Lin, suit fitting properly, steady enough to be unfathomable, only older, but his facial features resembled Yan Xi.

Seeing no way to escape, Yan Wei simply stood straight with composure, and even smiled.

That person looked at him and actually smiled too. “Heh.”

Yan Wei frowned, hearing the man call: “Yan Wei.”

Yan Wei’s brows knitted: “Do I have to go with you?”

The man heard Yan Wei complain in a low voice: “Just like those old men in school.” When Yan Wei talked about school, he still used the tone of a candidate discussing exam papers, both detesting and intimately familiar, matching his dusty, older youth appearance, making one’s heart skip a beat.

That person smiled, pushed open the back door, and extended a hand towards him, “Yan Wei, get in.” Yan Wei looked around, seeing he really couldn’t hide, he sat in, forcing a smile at the corner of his mouth: “You even know my name.” The car drove very fast. Yan Wei looked at the scenery outside, somewhat distracted.

The man glanced at him and sighed: “It’s my fault.”

Yan Wei’s back stiffened for a moment, then gradually relaxed.

The man looked at him, “These years, have you been well?”

Yan Wei didn’t know what to say. He thought for a long time before responding: “Quite well, just moving places often.” Once this sentence was out, although clearly not a complaint, it made the listener feel uncomfortable.

That person was silent for a while, then said again: “It’s my fault. Only just found out your mother gave birth to you. She left early.” Yan Wei was thinking about his own affairs, just responding casually.

The man put his hand on his back, patted it, and took it back. “We are all family. Have a meal, take a bath, change clothes, sit down and talk properly. Is there anything you can’t get over? I’m old, it’s good to have you accompany me.” Yan Wei simply felt his eyelids were about to start twitching violently again.

The man didn’t say anything more, quietly closing his eyes to rest.

The sedan drove all the way to the airport, transferred to a plane, and was picked up by a special car after landing. It wasn’t until nightfall that this half-day of travel fatigue ended, stopping in front of a mansion.

Watching the carved large iron gate slowly open, Yan Wei felt a bit uncomfortable, silently following behind that person.

The flower beds on both sides of the stone steps were full of red Chinese roses. Someone opened the door from inside.

In the spacious living room, a crystal chandelier hung down from the third floor. The staircase handrail spiraled, connecting to the crisp lines of the iron railing on the second floor. A long beige L-shaped sofa lay across the side. Some oil paintings and pottery were scattered on the TV wall and decorative cabinet.

To the left were huge floor-to-ceiling glass windows, half-covered by heavy beige curtains, leading to the atrium. Behind the iron flower stand climbed by vines, a blue circular swimming pool could be faintly seen.

Yan Wei could only imitate the man’s movements, changing into cotton slippers and walking on the cork floor.

“Yan Wei, go wash up first.”

Yan Wei glanced at the entourage who were still guarding against his escape, responded, and followed a person into the bathroom.

There was also someone in the bathroom, filling the bathtub with hot water, pouring essential oils. After tidying up, they retreated.

Yan Wei was silent for a while. After confirming that a bathrobe and underwear were placed on the five-meter-long washbasin, he began to slowly take off his clothes.

He soaked in the water, looking at the bottles of fragrant shower gel next to him, picking them up and touching them casually. Not until the water was almost cold did Yan Wei climb out, dry his body with a bath towel, and put on the bathrobe as Yu Lin had taught him.

Coming out of the bathroom, there was a new person waiting outside, carrying a box, a bit like an electrician’s box. When opened, it also had several layers, only it contained combs and scissors of all sizes.

Yan Wei thought for a moment and sat obediently on the chair. That person put a hairdressing cape on him and also trimmed slowly. After a while, he asked: “Sir, you have white hair.” Yan Wei was still the same. Entering a beautiful and clean place, he was listless. Only after taking a bath did he gradually recover: “Need to dye it?” “I’ll pull them out for you.” That person really reached out, grabbed the white hair, and pulled it out gently.

Yan Wei had never experienced this kind of pain. A dull pain, then it was fine. When he was completely off guard, another pain followed immediately. Seven or eight hairs were pulled out and placed together with the cut hair.

Yan Wei wanted to grab them and hold them, but was too embarrassed to reach out. That person took off the hairdressing cape, shook it, and helped him brush off the broken hair on his face with a small brush. The hair fell on the ground, and he actually felt reluctant to part with it.

In the mirror, the hair was cut short again, revealing the brow bone, looking much cleaner and more spirited. Someone brought a set of clothes. He touched them, estimated the size was about right, and went in to change.

Dark gray casual suit, with a thin gray wool sweater inside, light and warm. Yan Wei stood in front of the mirror, wiped the mist on the mirror surface with his hand, and tidied up for a long time.

When he came out, the man was already sitting on the single sofa waiting. Seeing Yan Wei, he didn’t say anything, just stood up and looked him over carefully. After a long time, he patted his back hard, “Keep your back straight!” Yan Wei straightened his back, a bit stiff, but saw the man laugh: “Isn’t this quite good.” Yan Wei followed that person to the dining room on the second floor. The fireplace and high ceiling combination showed the owner’s preference for European style.

On the retro wooden dining table, two pairs of large copper candlesticks held short sections of white candles. Dishes were already set on the table. Fortunately, besides knives and forks, chopsticks were also placed.

Yan Wei lowered his head, only picking food from the plate closest to him. After eating a few mouthfuls, he heard the man ask: “How much do you know about my affairs?” Yan Wei paused, swallowed the food in his mouth: “When they found me, they told me everything.” That person paused: “Why hide?”

Yan Wei lowered his head and put the chopsticks back on the plate. The man coughed lightly twice: “Weiwei, call me Dad.” Yan Wei felt a lump in his throat, a bit uncomfortable, but still called out: “Dad.” The man was somewhat moved, “All these years, blame me for not taking good care of you.” Yan Wei chuckled a few times, but his eyes glanced around, “It’s okay, my mom didn’t take care of me either.” The dining table was silent, only the sound of Yan Wei moving chopsticks could be heard. After a while, Yan Wei was heard saying: “I never blamed anyone,” He sat there despondently, and said after a long time: “I didn’t want to come back because I didn’t dare to look back.” The man was stunned, obviously unexpected. He was silent for a long time, his gem cufflinks gleaming slightly. He stood up, whispered a few words to the assistant behind him, and left the table hurriedly like this.

Yan Wei buried his head in his meal. The assistant walked to his side and said with a low laugh: “I, on the contrary, always look back. To see what I lost, so I can find it back.” Yan Wei was stunned, looked up, and saw the assistant push his glasses.

“I mean, Young Master Yan Xi’s sexual orientation and illness have always been criticized. If you are willing to accept some necessary training… The Chairman actually intends to make you the heir.”