Chapter 10 - 1#

I remember that year was exceptionally cold. As soon as autumn arrived, some people put on sweaters and woolen pants early.

Yan Wei was usually quite energetic, but after the twelfth lunar month, his hair started to look messy from sleep, sticking up in some places and flattened in others. It wasn’t that he didn’t like being clean, but as soon as the weather got cold, he would stay in bed and feel lazy all over. Laziness and image are natural enemies.

Not long after, the radio began to report where the snow was ankle-deep and where it was knee-deep. That day, Yu Lin was wearing a black pullover sweater, with the collar of a white shirt showing slightly at the neck.

Yan Wei didn’t have winter clothes and was afraid of the cold, so he put on all his long-sleeved and short-sleeved shirts at once, making his jacket bulge. He and Yu Lin walked side by side on the road, both smiling foolishly.

Close to Christmas Eve, Yan Wei received a fragrant letter. The envelope was pale purple, with a small cartoon sticker sealing it. He hid the letter in his schoolbag, but Yu Lin still saw it, and they had a big fight.

A few days later, Yu Lin cornered Yan Wei, his voice hoarse: “It was my fault.” Yan Wei sometimes didn’t understand what Yu Lin was thinking. After being dragged out of the closet by Yu Lin’s mother once, he learned to behave and would bring a bag of fruit whenever he visited. Yu Lin’s home was extremely clean. His mother had a slight obsession with cleanliness and liked to wipe the same set of tableware repeatedly. Yu Lin’s father’s room had a wall full of books.

The last time Yan Wei went to their house, he honestly wore his school uniform jacket and dyed his hair back to black. They had lunch together. Yu Lin put some food in his bowl, and Yu Lin’s mother asked many questions, all revolving around grades.

When they returned to the room, Yan Wei asked Yu Lin to put a towel on the pillow. His hair had just been dyed and was greasy and smelly; it would stain the pillow yellow in no time. He didn’t want to cause trouble at this time, but Yu Lin’s bed had the nice smell of sun-dried cotton quilts.

It felt like a foxtail grass tickling the soles of his feet; he felt itchy all over. Yu Lin sat on the floor showing off his airplane model. Just as Yan Wei wanted to lean over, Yu Lin’s mother came in with a plate of fruit without even knocking. After a few times, Yan Wei asked, “Hey, does your mom always stand outside the door and not leave?” Yu Lin patted his head and changed the subject. The two of them, one sitting and one lying down, chatted idly.

Before long, Yu Lin’s mother came in again, “Xiao Lin, your dad is calling you.” Yu Lin stood up, glanced at Yan Wei, and then went out.

Yan Wei was lying sprawled out. Seeing this woman suddenly, he was startled and sat up in a sorry state. Yu Lin’s mother saw him and pointed to the plate of fruit, “Yan Wei, eat. It’s fresh from the fridge.” Yan Wei hurriedly agreed, picked up a few pieces of fruit with a toothpick, and stuffed them into his mouth. Somehow, a whole piece fell on the floor.

Just as he squatted down to pick it up, Yu Lin’s mother rushed over. “I’ll do it, I’ll do it. Sigh, you sit, I’ll clean it up.” When Yu Lin came back and saw the veins popping out on Yan Wei’s forehead, he said faintly, “Mom, you go rest. We’ll do it ourselves.” Yu Lin’s mother had already wiped the floor back and forth several times before giving up resentfully.

Yu Lin closed the door again and smiled, “She’s just like that, likes to take care of people.” Yan Wei looked at the removed lock on the door and asked nosily, “Isn’t it annoying to be controlled like this all day and not allowed to lock the door?” Yu Lin suddenly asked, “Weiwei, do you find me annoying?”

He looked up at Yan Wei with some hesitation, “I’m just like my mom. I even tore up your letter last time.

“I don’t like you getting too close to others. I know it’s not normal, but I can’t change it.

“I will earn a lot of money, buy a house, cook for you, and support you for a lifetime.

“Weiwei, will you dislike me being like this?” Yu Lin’s eyes turned red as he stammered an explanation: “I really like you.” Yan Wei received the call and rushed over immediately. Roadblocks were set up on the road, surrounding two slightly deformed cars, with a few police officers standing scattered around. He walked unsteadily to the roadblock. The airbag of the black Mercedes had deployed, and the headlights were still on. Yu Lin was sitting by the roadside, covering the wound on his forehead with gauze.

The police officer was still taking notes. Seeing him, he said casually, “An ambulance has been called. It’s fine, just a minor injury.” Yan Wei looked in Yu Lin’s direction with a dull gaze. Yu Lin saw him, and his eyes lit up.

Just as Yan Wei was about to cross the roadblock, he heard the police officer ask, “Do you know how the car owner usually drives?” Yan Wei thought for a moment before saying, “He never drives very fast. He likes to check the rearview mirror, and if there are speed limit signs nearby, he looks at them a few more times.” The police officer only wrote down a few words of what he said. “What about the bad aspects?” Yan Wei said seriously, “There’s nothing bad. He drives carefully, doesn’t like to overtake, and doesn’t like to follow cars too closely.” Thinking of something, he actually smiled a little: “Every time I ride in his car, he insists on buckling my seatbelt, really. He’s afraid of car accidents, afraid of this. He has a shadow, even more serious than… than me.” Yan Wei laughed dryly a few times: “I never thought someone like him would get into a car accident.” Yan Wei waited for them to finish recording before walking to Yu Lin’s side. Yu Lin’s eyes were shining.

Yan Wei squatted beside him and whispered, “Let’s go to the hospital later and get a few stitches.” Yu Lin said, “Not going to the hospital. Just put some red mercury on it for me.” The tone of his voice felt unusually familiar to Yan Wei, a bit strange, though he couldn’t say exactly where. “Don’t talk nonsense, I have the final say.” He thought for a moment and nudged Yu Lin, “Why did you call me? Are all the people you know dead?” Seeing Yu Lin didn’t speak, he pulled him up, “Speak!”

Pulled by him, Yu Lin stood up and looked at Yan Wei with a smile, without avoiding his gaze: “I only remember you.” Yan Wei stared at Yu Lin in a daze, and Yu Lin looked at him smiling.

The ambulance arrived quickly, and Yan Wei got on with him. The police car led the way, and the tow truck followed, sirens blaring all the way.

Yan Wei looked at the lush roadside trees outside the window and asked in a low voice, “Blockhead, do you know what year this is?” Yu Lin said, “Year ‘99.”

Yan Wei burst out laughing: “Teasing me? Is it fun?”

Yu Lin didn’t speak, just looked at Yan Wei quietly.

The nurse bandaged the wound on Yu Lin’s forehead. Yan Wei asked distractedly, “Then let me test you. What fun things happened that year?” Yu Lin actually started counting on his fingers. “Plenty. Two more basketball hoops were built on the playground.” “That was concrete ground; a fall could scrape off a layer of skin.” Yan Wei reminisced with him. Back in the classroom, when the fan stirred, the smell of sweat and red mercury would rush into everyone’s nostrils.

“Also, a factory next to the school stopped production, and machines were abandoned by the roadside.” “Right, the factory! Forgot which brat told me the engine was valuable. I even went to look for it in the grass, accidentally stepped on a steel nail, and pierced my right foot…” Thinking of the past, Yan Wei’s face flushed and glowed.

Yu Lin continued, “You said the most painful time was when you mistook your electric stove for a chair.” Yan Wei frowned, “You mentioned that time! I only realized something was wrong after sitting down. My skin stuck to the stove, and I couldn’t stand up. After a night, my butt was full of blood blisters!” He excitedly put his right hand on Yu Lin’s arm, “Blockhead, do you remember, a new noodle shop opened next to the school, with wide noodles and generous portions.” Yu Lin smiled at him: “I’ve bought noodles for you so many times.” The two of them sat happily together, like two people performing a monologue who suddenly found someone to say their lines to. The driver looked back at them strangely from time to time, but both of them were immersed in 1999.

That year, the Christmas tree was hung with red envelopes, each stuffed with some coins. The shop owner placed two or three rectangular red plastic baskets at the door, filled with greeting cards. The most expensive kind would play music when opened, with small red bulbs flashing. They squatted there picking cards, getting gold powder all over their hands.

Yu Lin had a gentle smile on his face: “I bought your Christmas present.” With the bumps of the ambulance, their shoulders gently bumped into each other from time to time. Yan Wei held his hand and asked in a low voice, “What did you buy?” He wanted to laugh with Yu Lin, but his eyes suddenly turned red. Sadness, in the beginning, was just a drop of cold water.

Yan Wei elbowed Yu Lin hard, “Hey, say it. You know I had a car accident and didn’t receive it.” Yu Lin was hurt by the bump but still smiled.

Yan Wei said fiercely, “If you pretend to have amnesia again, be careful I’ll beat you to death.” Yu Lin turned his face, looked at him and smiled: “Is it too late if I give it this year?” Yan Wei buried his head in his knees, laughing muffledly.

Yu Lin repeated again: “I’m not going to the hospital. Just apply some red mercury for me.” His voice suddenly became hoarse: “Weiwei, I feel bad inside.”

Yan Wei looked at the medical staff in the car who were avoiding them like the plague and responded vaguely.

They paid the fees and got off halfway.

Yan Wei didn’t understand why Yu Lin suddenly mentioned the year ‘99, but he vaguely saw some signs.

He took the person back to his apartment. When he woke up from his nap, he found that Yu Lin had washed the dishes, swept the floor, and there was porridge cooking in the pot.

He stared at the white misty steam, suddenly feeling like it was a dream again.

“You are a patient.” He touched his nose, “Your main task now is to rest.” Yu Lin smiled at him: “It’s okay, I can take care of you.”

“If you collapse from exhaustion, won’t I have to take care of you,” Yan Wei snatched the mop from him, “Go sit down.” Yu Lin was stunned for a moment until Yan Wei frowned and said it again: “Sit down, I’m in charge here.” Yu Lin then sat down, his eyes shining, looking at Yan Wei quietly, as if he had come alive.

After Yan Wei finished mopping the floor, he realized Yu Lin was looking at him. He hesitated and wiped his face with the back of his hand, “Is there… something on my face?” He saw Yu Lin shake his head, then breathed a sigh of relief and ladled out two bowls of porridge. “I used to be the one cooking, let’s try your cooking skills.” Yan Wei said, carefully tasted a mouthful, and immediately stuck out his tongue looking for cold water, “Hot.” Yu Lin looked at him, the corners of his mouth lifted, and then he grinned like ripples blown by the wind. “Obviously, I cooked more often.” Yan Wei drank several big mouthfuls of water before recovering: “Don’t lie with your eyes open. During self-study, I even specially used an alcohol lamp to roast sausages for you.” Yu Lin looked at him and giggled; Yan Wei had never seen him so happy.

“Weiwei, I also cooked glutinous rice balls for you.”

“But you didn’t cook them thoroughly!” Yan Wei laughed angrily.

Yu Lin laughed with him, his eyes dark and bright. He scooped a spoonful of porridge, blew it cool, and handed it over. “Taste it.” Yan Wei’s face felt a bit hot, his palms were sweaty, not knowing if he should lean over like this.

Yu Lin brought it to his mouth, and he reluctantly opened his mouth. As soon as he finished drinking, he turned his face away. “Just… average.” Yu Lin thought he was telling the truth, tasted a few mouthfuls himself, and laughed instantly: “You’re lying.” Yan Wei turned his face away, still stubborn: “Thick-skinned.”

“Why is telling the truth thick-skinned,” Yu Lin held the bowl, “Taste it again.” Yan Wei dodged his hands, “Go away, haha, don’t, it tickles…” “Taste it?” Yu Lin was eager to promote his work, relentless, “Just one more bite.” He extended the iron spoon filled with porridge and rubbed it against Yan Wei’s tightly closed mouth. Yan Wei blocked a few times, hot and ticklish, laughing until he was out of breath: “Don’t, I’ll say it, I’ll say it. It’s delicious, it is delicious.” Yu Lin then stopped, smiling foolishly. Yan Wei gasped while laughing; half a small bowl of porridge spilled, and even a few grains of rice stuck to his face. Yan Wei gradually recovered, looked at Yu Lin, and the smile on his face gradually froze there.

He was quiet for a while before saying, “Hey, Blockhead.”

Yu Lin was still smiling, wiping the porridge splashed on Yan Wei’s face with his finger. “Hmm?” Yan Wei looked at him, “If you want to leave, hurry up.”

Seeing Yu Lin stunned there, Yan Wei wiped his sticky cheek with his elbow and said in a muffled voice: “You don’t care about your Yan Xi anymore? Leave early, it annoys me to see you.” “I’m not leaving.” The smile on Yu Lin’s face disappeared.

Yan Wei clenched his fists, “I’m not joking with you.”

Yu Lin looked at him and repeated again: “I’m not leaving.”

Hearing this sentence, Yan Wei stared blankly for a while, then suddenly cursed: “Good if you don’t leave. Bastard, you still owe me two days.” He was still thinking about the agreement Yu Lin didn’t fulfill on the train. While cursing, he started to cry: “I take it you are paying it back now.” Yan Wei didn’t expect Yu Lin to be awake.

He slept until midnight, afraid Yu Lin would catch a cold on the sofa, so he hugged a quilt and came out of the room barefoot.

The living room was pitch black, only the outline of Yu Lin curled up on the sofa could be vaguely seen. Yan Wei shook the quilt open to cover him, yawning and preparing to go back. It was at this moment that Yu Lin opened his eyes.

He said: “Weiwei.”

Yan Wei was stunned, turned his head, and saw Yu Lin sitting up.

“Still… haven’t slept?” Yan Wei’s face was a bit hot, wanting to turn on the floor lamp next to him.

Yu Lin held his hand and whispered: “Don’t turn it on. Or I won’t dare to say it.” Yan Wei froze there. Feeling like a red-hot pillar of fire in the icy snow, or a popsicle in a furnace, sizzling with heat, sweating cold sweat all over. He whispered: “Blockhead, if it makes you uncomfortable to say it, then don’t. We’ve known each other for so many years, I know you sometimes avoid me for my own good.” As he spoke, he looked at Yu Lin, almost thinking that person was going to nod, but what he said was: “It’s not like that.” “Blockhead?”

Yu Lin shook his head with some difficulty, “It’s not like that.” He spoke with great effort, almost squeezing it out bit by bit, “Not daring to express true feelings is itself a sign of cowardice.” Yan Wei waited in fear and trembling, feeling that Yu Lin’s words were a cluster of orange flames. Every time it trembled in the wind, Yan Wei couldn’t breathe.

Yu Lin held Yan Wei’s hand and whispered: “You are really good to me.” This was Yu Lin’s heartfelt words. Whether he was happy, angry, tired, or sick, only Yan Wei cared. It was like a reservoir that only knew how to discharge floods and was drying up day by day finally being injected with water.

But what Yan Wei wanted to hear most was not this sentence; a cup of ice cola might not make someone who wants hot tea happy.

“You just realized.” Yan Wei said, his chest blocked.

But Yu Lin continued: “In my heart, you are different from everyone else.” Yan Wei was stunned for a moment before reacting, as if seeing that cluster of orange fire gently extending its flame. He stammered a response: “Di… different?” Yu Lin tightened his grip on his hand. Yu Lin’s hand was also warm and moist; two warm and moist hands held together.

Yan Wei just said “Oh”, and his eyes lit up. Before he could climb ashore from that small and warm river, he heard Yu Lin say: “I like you.” He stood blankly for a long time before asking: “What did you just say?”

“I like you.”

Yan Wei heard it clearly this time, tears streaming down his face. Yu Lin was flustered. “What’s wrong? Weiwei.” The more Yu Lin asked, the harder Yan Wei cried.

He squatted on the ground, his crying hoarse, and towards the end, he was almost howling at the top of his lungs: “Damn you, don’t pile up your words all at once in the future!” Only then did Yu Lin vaguely understand. “I thought you had seen it all. I really like you… “Weiwei, I have always liked you.”

Yan Wei seemed to see many full and rich fireworks blooming overwhelmingly.

Yu Lin tentatively hugged him, wiping his tears with his hand. When his fingers got wet, he used the back of his hand.

Yan Wei cried hoarsely for a while, his fingernails digging hard into Yu Lin’s flesh, “You really aren’t leaving?” “I’m not leaving.”

Yan Wei panted for a while, wiped his face indiscriminately with his elbow, and suddenly said: “Let’s do it, Blockhead.” Yu Lin was stunned: “Now?”

Yan Wei took off his shirt in a few moves, “What are you dawdling for.” Yu Lin responded vaguely and began to unbutton his shirt. Yan Wei thought he was too slow and helped him pull a few times. Yu Lin folded the clothes and put them on the back of the sofa. Yan Wei straddled him, unable to take off his pants for a long time, muttering a curse.

Yu Lin couldn’t help but smile. He reached out, wanting to help him. Yan Wei propped himself up first, said “troublesome”, and pulled down his outer pants and underwear at once, stripping naked.

After a while, Yu Lin pressed his head lower and kissed him gently.

“Not like this,” Yan Wei pushed Yu Lin’s hand away, “You are coaxing a child!” Yu Lin rubbed Yan Wei’s hair soothingly, kissed him again, and the hand on the back of Yan Wei’s head suddenly used some force, beginning to plunder, asking vaguely: “Like this?” Yan Wei was kissed until his whole body was hot, his hands tightly hugging Yu Lin’s neck. “About right.” Yu Lin thought for a moment, reached out, found his tie from the pile of clothes on the side, wrapped it around Yan Wei’s eyes, and tied a knot at the back of his head.

Being blindfolded like this, Yan Wei subconsciously reached out to pull it off.

Yu Lin held his hand and said in his ear: “Don’t move, be good.” He watched Yan Wei sitting on him somewhat helplessly, laughed for a while, unzipped his pants, took out his engorged member, held it together with Yan Wei’s member which had shrunk a bit in the cold air, and slowly began to stroke.

With his eyes covered, Yan Wei’s reaction was unusually intense, and his lower body quickly became hot and congested.

Yan Wei’s forehead was covered in sweat beads, whispering: “Don’t, don’t, wait a bit, anymore and it’ll come out.” Yu Lin responded, moving his fingers back, “I’ll go find some lubricant?” Yan Wei lowered his head; the tie was tied a bit loosely, blocking most of the bridge of his nose. “It’s fine, won’t kill anyone.” Yu Lin moved his body up. The sofa was a bit narrow; he adjusted his posture before slowly inserting his index finger. The passage was unusually dry and hot. After stirring a few times, he inserted another one. Yan Wei frowned, his breathing becoming rapid.

“Does it hurt?” Yu Lin asked him in a low voice, stopping there without moving.

Yan Wei panted, reached out and fumbled for a while, gripping Yu Lin’s arm, “Stop nagging, hurry up if you’re going to do it.” Yu Lin inserted a third finger and whispered: “Don’t move around.” Seeing Yan Wei was gradually less in pain, he held his member and slowly squeezed halfway in.

“W-wait.” Yan Wei was in severe pain, scratching several blood streaks on Yu Lin’s arm with both hands, his chest heaving violently.

Yu Lin paused for a while before smiling and saying: “You said hurry up.” “Nagging!” Yan Wei’s forehead was covered in sweat. He reached out and touched Yu Lin’s shoulder, took a breath, gritted his teeth, and sat down himself.

The narrow passage was ruthlessly stretched open, and Yan Wei trembled all over from the pain.

Yu Lin’s breathing finally became disordered; it was a pleasure enough to drive one mad. His eyes stared intently at Yan Wei in the darkness, “Weiwei, does it hurt? Should we wait a bit.” “N-no, it won’t kill anyone.” Yan Wei was still stubborn. He finally recovered from the burning pain and tried to lift his waist.

Almost simultaneously, Yu Lin thrust fiercely. Yan Wei was caught off guard, his body weight sank down, and the thick weapon was buried to the root, grinding hard against the most sensitive spot.

“Ha, ha ah…”

Yan Wei was thrust so hard he couldn’t speak, and Yu Lin’s pumping had already begun.

He had always been like this from the past: as modest, polite, and gentle as the foreplay was, the later part was just as rough. At this time, any protest was invalid.

Yu Lin panted slightly, pumping ruthlessly and forcefully, hitting the most fatal spot every time.

Yan Wei opened his mouth and gasped a few times. His member, which had gone soft due to pain, became hard again. Unable to wait for Yu Lin’s action, he simply started stroking it himself. But with his eyes covered and being thrust by Yu Lin constantly shaking, he was soon forced to stop stroking.

His hands grabbed randomly in the air for a while, touched Yu Lin’s arm, and gripped it tightly, afraid of falling if he let go.

Yan Wei only felt uncomfortably bloated behind, begging occasionally: “Slower, Blockhead, it hurts.” Yu Lin seemed not to hear. After a while, he freed a hand to stroke Yan Wei’s treasure.

Yan Wei’s sweat flowed like water from a tap, as if he could feel the nerves near his temples throbbing, the air in his chest being pumped out bit by bit. Within the discomfort, there was a soul-consuming ecstasy. He didn’t know whether to slow down or just continue like this and simply suffocate completely.

Yan Wei ejaculated not long after. Yu Lin changed his posture, grabbing Yan Wei’s buttocks with both hands and thrusting in from behind.

Yan Wei’s face was buried in the sofa. Being thrust one after another, the tie slipped from his eyes and hung loosely around his neck.

After doing it for more than half an hour, Yu Lin was still pumping. Yan Wei couldn’t help muttering: “Blockhead, stop doing it. Did you hear, I’m sleepy, want to sleep.” Yu Lin thrust hard again. Yan Wei was pushed forward uncontrollably, his eyes unable to open. “I’ll just sleep for a little while.” He seemed to hear Yu Lin say no, but his eyelids were terribly heavy, and he soon fell asleep contentedly.

When Yan Wei woke up, he found himself lying on the bed refreshed. Yu Lin was glaring at him from the side. He couldn’t help giggling while taking the milk Yu Lin had prepared.

Neither of them thought the change would come so fast.

Facing Yan Fengxiang, Cui Dong repeated the same few sentences. He sat at the desk, his voice hoarse.

“I sent him home, comforted him with a few words. Seeing he wasn’t crying anymore, I went downstairs, wanting to buy some hot food to fill his stomach. When I left, I still heard him playing the piano. I didn’t know he would take things so hard.” The security department quickly retrieved the small answering machine under the lamp base. It was the size of half a cigarette pack, with durable batteries, capable of storing two days of sound, constantly overwriting previous records. Yan Fengxiang was in the office, opening the transparent sealed bag containing this small thing.

He examined it for a while and pressed the play button. Cui Dong’s gaze was fixed on it. The rustling sound continued, with occasional faint barking of dogs and crying of children.

As if finding this meaningless length too long, Yan Fengxiang fiddled with it in his hand for a long time, finally tuning to the second half. The piano sound was intermittent, barely recognizable as Chopin’s Fantaisie-Impromptu.

He paused for a moment, then tuned forward a bit more, turning the volume to the maximum. It was Cui Dong’s voice speaking.

“I’m going down to buy something to eat. Want to eat anything?”