Chapter 1#

Yan Wei had been an incredible person since high school. His specialty was squeezing onto buses.

A fifteen-minute walk from home, you could see the bus stop. People waiting for the bus would always swarm it as soon as they saw it. The strong would push, the thin would be pushed. Those who got on were bruised and battered, those who didn’t were seeing stars. The kids from their high school all had their own tricks for getting on the bus, knowing how to turn sideways and squeeze forward.

Yan Wei was even more special. Every time he saw the bus from a distance, he would jump on before it even came to a complete stop, clinging tightly to the door frame.

The moment the door opened, the people behind would push forward, squeezing him in first.

The first time Yu Lin saw Yan Wei, he was clinging to the bus door, his skinny body swaying with the bumps of the bus.

That day, the platform was packed. Yan Wei was the first to get on, taking a seat by the window. Yu Lin was the last to get on, with barely any room to stand, getting repeatedly caught in the door.

Yan Wei always said, “The person who gave the new student speech at the opening ceremony was a wimp.” Even after they became close, whenever they went to the school cafeteria, snack shops, the mailroom, or any place that required queuing, Yan Wei would say, “Little Lin, you sit, watch the bags. You’re no good at queuing.” He could always squeeze to the front, buy food for two, and grab the sweet and sour fish. The master chef would smile at the sight of Yan Wei, pouring spoonful after spoonful of sauce over their rice.

Yan Wei always gave Yu Lin nicknames. When he was in a good mood, he called him “Little Lin.” When he was in a bad mood, he called him “Yu Mumu” (Gloomy Wood).

At that time, Yu Lin was very tolerant. He called Yan Wei “Yan Wei.” Until one summer vacation, on a metal-framed bed, he called a still-resisting Yan Wei “Weiwei.” The bedsheets were soaked in sweat, wrinkled, and there was a little blood.

“You’re ruthless,” Yan Wei said through gritted teeth.

With him around, the school, whether strict or lenient, was a scene of madness. The higher Yu Lin’s position in the school, the more Yan Wei would stir things up. From playing with matchbox wrappers and candy papers at the beginning, to later playing with gold and silver shiny cards, everyone followed him like sailors following their captain.

When everyone was wearing thin sweaters under their jackets, someone said that the 1994 coins had a high silver content and were valuable.

Yan Wei smashed Yu Lin’s piggy bank, found forty-something 1994 coins out of three hundred, took them to school, and laid them out one by one. After showing them off, he stuffed them all into a game console.

At his most extravagant, Yan Wei bought a game console. The moment he heard a house was empty of adults, he would rush over with his gear to play tanks and airplanes. He would time it so that just before the parents came home from work, he would make a quick escape.

But as the saying goes, you can’t walk by the river all the time without getting your shoes wet. One time, he couldn’t get the game console to work and ended up breaking someone’s TV. After a good beating, he toned it down a lot.

His grandmother received a small pension each month, so the things he could play with were very limited. But for some reason, everyone felt from the bottom of their hearts that his life was interesting and fun. Watching him bustle about every day made life seem like a very hopeful thing.

The first time he saw Yan Wei cry was also that winter.

Yu Lin bought food, with two hot buns placed on top. Yan Wei didn’t eat a single bite, his face red and his neck thick from agitation, his cheeks puffed out.

Yu Lin didn’t know how to comfort people. He just sat beside him, and when he saw him crying so hard he was hiccupping, he helped pat his back to soothe him.

It took a long time for Yan Wei to choke out a sentence. “I feel awful.”

After a while, “Yu Lin, I took a nap in class and dreamed that we broke up.” That was in 1997.

Looking back now, Yan Wei, 1997, it was all in the past.

Eight years and eleven months after Yan Wei’s car accident, the sunlight shone on his eyelids. The nurse held a warm towel, wiping his face until his cheeks were flushed, looking like a healthy, big apple.

Compared to the patient in the next room who only had an ECG monitor and a urinary catheter, this room also had two muscle massagers and a sensory stimulator. Although the long-term liquid food and nutritional injections couldn’t keep his well-exercised body completely intact, it hadn’t atrophied too much either.

Yan Wei’s finger twitched.

The nurse unbuttoned his patient gown, dipped a large towel in hot water, and scrubbed him vigorously, his body turning red from the friction. The convenient and easy-to-remove elastic waistband pants were pulled down to his knees in one go. Like washing a stuffed doll, the nurse carelessly wiped Yan Wei’s lower body, as if it were a real sponge.

The woman deftly turned his body over. Compared to the nursing work of manually removing feces and regularly changing diapers, this job was quite leisurely.

Yan Wei’s finger twitched again.

From the window of the sixth floor of the inpatient ward at Fukang Hospital, you could see the large pool at the hospital entrance. In the center stood a large rock covered in moss, and more than twenty goldfish with tumor-like eyes swam in the pool.

The attending physician stood at the door, watching the patient who was still trying to move his fingers.

Although his eyelids were still drooping weakly, his eyeballs were rolling constantly underneath. The signs of life appeared so belatedly that the doctor had to re-verify them for a long time.

According to the caregiver, Mr. Yan regained consciousness five minutes ago, but judging by his appearance, it seemed to be earlier.

Five days later, Cui Dong was recording the medical records as usual, cautiously using awakening agents.

“Can you speak?” He held the medical record, wearing a pair of rimless silver-framed glasses. He had a gentle appearance, with his left hand in the pocket of his doctor’s coat. Yan Wei’s eyes could already open, and he looked energetic. Every word he said was recorded.

“That bastard Yu Lin must have cried his eyes out.”

There were no problems with his memory or vocal cords, but a diagnosis was still needed.

The doctor took a fountain pen from his breast pocket and stuffed it into Yan Wei’s hand along with the medical record. “Can you write? Write a few words.” That hand really gripped the pen tightly, and after a long time, it began to move.

Cui Dong leaned his head over and saw “trouble” written on it.

There had been cases of people losing their ability to write after a car accident, but Yan Wei seemed to have only minor personality issues.

The nurse came in with a basin as usual, a large towel, and warm water.

Yan Wei said, “No, no, change the person. She almost crippled me last time.” The doctor thought for a moment, lifted the blanket, pulled off the patient’s pants, revealing two thin legs, put on plastic gloves, and began to examine his lower body. Except for a small cut on his foreskin from being wiped too hard, everything was fine.

Cui Dong took off his gloves and started looking for disinfectant iodine. The pungent smell of alcohol in the hospital smelled a little fragrant after a while. Yan Wei was not cooperative even when applying medicine.

“Where’s Yu Lin?”

“The hospital has already informed Mr. Yu of the good news. He is probably on a flight from Canada to China by now.” Yan Wei chuckled, “Yu Lin? Him?” His head sank into the white hospital bed.

“I lent him his bicycle. Where would he get the money? Uncle, you must be joking.” Dr. Cui Dong was silent for a moment, looking at Yan Wei’s head covered in soft hair. The patient still thought he had just come of age, but that was eight years ago.

Twenty-two hours later.

A Mercedes-Benz S500 was parked in a vacant spot, looking well-maintained.

Yu Lin sat in the driver’s seat for a while, loosening his tie, seeming to have some difficulty breathing. In the passenger seat, Yan Xi, carrying a backpack with several heavy piano scores, opened the car door before Yu Lin. Dr. Cui was standing at the top of the steps of the main hospital building, leaning against a concrete pillar, waiting for them.

Yu Lin got out of the car. He was a man whose even the ends of his hair were carefully trimmed, looking tall, taciturn, and cold. On a hot day, he wore a three-piece suit that was ready for a boardroom meeting at any moment, his sweat glands seemingly not very developed. Yan Xi wore a shirt and jeans. He stood in the sunlight, his stubborn and delicate eyebrows and eyes bearing some resemblance to Yan Wei.

“Take the middle elevator to the sixth floor and turn left, room 611.”

Yu Lin said, “I know.”

Cui Dong touched his nose, “It’s been a long time, I was afraid you’d forgotten.” The two of them walked up the steps, one after the other. The automatic glass doors slid open to the sides. Cui Dong glanced at Yan Xi, a beautiful child who should be singing in a choir and playing the harp. “Yu Lin, bringing him up today is a bit hasty.” Yu Lin’s pace slowed down, and he paused, “Yan Xi, wait for me in the lobby.” He patted Yan Xi’s head, entered the private elevator. The camera in the upper left corner hung quietly, but it was indeed working. The images projected on the terminal display would be watched, analyzed, and then deleted.

The perfectly cut mirrors on the four walls and the brightly polished black marble floor left no one with a place to hide.

Yu Lin stepped out of the elevator and turned left. After the hospital’s renovation, the upper half of the walls were painted white, and the lower half was painted light green. He turned the doorknob and saw Yan Wei lying on the hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask. Yan Wei wanted to take off the oxygen mask, but Yu Lin stopped him.

“I can’t speak clearly with the mask on,” Yan Wei said, his voice muffled. His breath fogged up the translucent oxygen mask. “You look like Yu Lin’s uncle.” He said, raising an eyebrow.

Even though he had become a pale and thin man, he still used such a rebellious tone.

“I’m not.” Yu Lin sat down by the window, where there was a small coffee table and a chair. The man crossed his arms, seemingly pondering the most tactful way to put it.

Yan Wei stared at him, and after a long while, he suddenly smiled. “Little Lin.” The man was silent, a dull pain throbbing in his temples, a coffee-like bitterness spreading between his lips and teeth. Yu Lin forced a smile, “Ah, it’s me.” Yan Wei smiled, his eyes curving, and still moved his right hand bit by bit, moving the oxygen mask away a little. “Come sit here.” He patted the bedding beside him.

Yu Lin took off his suit jacket and placed it on the back of the chair. This person had always been quiet, but he seemed different from the past, like the wind, silently rushing over, knocking things down, sweeping them away, messing them up, uprooting them.

He had regular features, long and thin eyebrows, thin lips, and a silent and sharp gaze that could make people breathless when he stared. Every button on his shirt was buttoned up tightly, a style of asceticism.

“Come sit here,” Yan Wei looked at Yu Lin who was slowly approaching the bed, “You’re too tall, I can’t see you.” The man squatted down. Yan Wei’s hand reached out from the somewhat loose striped patient gown and slowly touched his face and his short black hair. Yan Wei grinned, “You must be overjoyed to see me.” Yu Lin was silent, Yan Xi’s shadow flickered past the observation window. His brows furrowed even tighter. He stood up and carefully tucked Yan Wei’s hand back under the covers.

“Little Lin!” Yan Wei raised his voice and shouted unhappily.

“Mmm,” the man vaguely replied, his tone absent-minded.

“Silly, what are you shy about,” Yan Wei laughed again, his voice softening, like a lover’s whisper, “Do you miss me?” “Weiwei,” Yu Lin sighed, saying these two words, not only unfamiliar but also like a heavy yoke around his neck, “Get some rest.” He patted Yan Wei’s hair perfunctorily.

“You’re not as clingy as you used to be,” Yan Wei complained behind him.

Yu Lin picked up his jacket, walked out of the ward, and made eye contact with Yan Xi who was waiting outside the door. He could see the shadow of another person in Yan Xi, only younger.

Cui Dong tucked the medical record under his arm and smiled, “Sleeping Beauty isn’t so cute when he wakes up, is he?” Cui Dong felt Yu Lin’s stern gaze and shrugged.

Yan Xi said softly, “I’m sorry for him.”

Yu Lin reached out and held Yan Xi’s hand, squeezing it with some force.

During his rehabilitation, Yan Wei was a very cooperative patient. The therapist would hold the proximal end of his joint with one hand and his palm with the other, slowly moving the joint until it caused pain. This was repeated three or four times a day, with the duration increasing from short to long. Yu Lin also came to see him a few times, watching from behind the glass, without going in.

Yan Wei would sweat profusely every day, lifting his arms, stretching his legs, bending and turning, slowly standing up, walking, and squatting. If he did well, he would also have to do extra exercises with ropes and lifting objects.

Yan Wei always chatted with the therapist, “I’m so unlucky. I woke up and I’m old.” The therapist was a woman of few words, but her words were sharp. “You’re not unlucky. Do you know what the smallest surgery in our hospital is?” Yan Wei blinked, “Double eyelid surgery?”

The therapist smiled, “It’s cholecystitis. The year before last, someone had this surgery, but there was an anesthesia error, and they also became a vegetable.” She unscrewed her thermos and took a sip of tea to refresh herself. “That’s life. Life, death, it’s all a matter of a single thought. Who knows whose turn it will be next.”

“Have you heard of Jin Shengtan, the one who annotated ‘Water Margin’? He was afraid on his way to the execution ground and wanted to be relieved of his suffering early, so he switched places with the prisoner in front of him. As soon as his head was cut off, the emperor’s pardon arrived.” She said, looking at her watch, “We’ve been delayed by five minutes. Lift the dumbbell higher, don’t let your hand shake. Do you think you’re conducting electricity?”

As Cui Dong was walking towards the ward with the medical record, Yu Lin called out to him. The French windows at the end of the corridor were closed, and the curtains were drawn, making the light a bit dim. The man’s gemstone cufflinks glowed faintly. Yu Lin asked, “How is he?” Cui Dong smiled, “Not so good. We’ve removed all the nearby mirrors and are treating him like a child.” Yu Lin frowned, “This is not a long-term solution.” He walked forward, and the sensor lights lit up one by one, casting an orange glow on the long corridor, and then began to extinguish from a distance. “I want to talk to him.” Cui Dong flipped through the medical record and then snapped it shut.

Yu Lin had already opened the door to room 611. A small bottle on the bedside table held a bunch of red wood sorrel. The bedding was folded, the blinds were half-open, and the sunlight was blocked into the shape of a zebra crossing, laying in stripes on the floor. Cui Dong’s voice came from the corridor, “There’s no one in the room. It’s 4:15 now, it’s the outdoor rehabilitation session.” The man was silent, using his fingers to part the slats of the blinds. Cui Dong stood at the door and smiled, “They’re on the lawn, you can’t see them from here.” The lawn he was talking about was newly planted last year with Paspalum notatum and Axonopus compressus grass seeds, and it was now a lush green. The caregiver had borrowed a small wheelchair for Yan Wei, which was parked by the stone wall. A black marble slab, eight meters long and two meters high, was embedded in the wall, with the names of the donors written on it. Yan Wei was currently practicing walking by holding onto the wall.

Yu Lin’s black leather shoes sank slightly into the soft grass. Yan Wei saw him, and his eyes lit up, “Hey, Little Lin.” There happened to be a few people walking by, family members holding IV drips. Hearing Yan Wei’s loud voice, they all laughed.

Yu Lin’s expression immediately turned cold, and he didn’t speak for a long time, seeming to detest this nickname. A leather ball rolled across the grass and stopped at Yan Wei’s feet. He hesitated for a moment, bent down to pick it up, and played with it in his hands for a while.

A little boy in overalls ran over and stared at him. Only then did Yan Wei seem to wake up from a dream and handed the ball over, “Here.” The child took it, bowed, and said with a smile, “Thank you, uncle.” Yu Lin paused for a moment, carefully observing Yan Wei’s expression.

But Yan Wei was still smiling happily. He took a few more steps while holding onto the wall before saying, “That’s right. If you’re old, I should be old too.” The black marble was polished so brightly that it reflected Yan Wei’s face, the face of an adult, with short-cropped hair, pale, with a hint of handsomeness remaining.

“Little Lin,” Yan Wei was in a daze for a while, “How long have I been in bed?” Yu Lin’s eyelids drooped slightly, his tone light, “Eight years, eleven months, and five days.” Yan Wei stuck out his tongue, “That’s a long time.”

The pale golden sunlight coated his body, shining on his eyes, as if adding a layer of fish-like iris. Tiny dust particles flew like dandelions. Yan Wei took a half step forward, changed his smile, and leaned towards Yu Lin’s ear, “You haven’t been with anyone else, have you? When I get better, I’ll help you relieve your fire, okay?”