Chapter 5#

Young wealthy heirs like Zeng Zhanpeng always loved to play and seek excitement.

The shooting range couldn’t completely drain his energy; after returning to the city, he clamored to go somewhere for a drink.

Yan Zishu thought for a moment. There was a bar street over on Tianxin Road. Although its atmosphere was different from Lan Kwai Fong, it was equally dazzling and popular among young people. People of all complexions gathered there, and it was usually very lively.

So he took him there.

Because he was hosting them for leisure, Yan Zishu had been wearing relatively casual suits these past few days, but no matter how casual, they were still suits.

Arriving at this place of feasting and revelry, he had to leave his jacket in the car, loosen his tie and take it off, just to make himself look less out of place.

He had a flexible, slender waist and a lean figure, looking extremely stylish in a white shirt. Unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt added a different kind of charm. However, his hair was still meticulously combed back, fixed immovably by hair gel.

Dressed in hip-hop style with dyed yellow hair, Zeng Zhanpeng asked, “William, have you never worn jeans in your entire life?”

Yan Zishu joked, “I did wear them when I was a child.”

Zeng Zhanpeng laughed out loud.

In front of outsiders, Yan Zishu could indeed portray himself as someone with a sense of humor.

However, regarding the jeans, he had actually told a rare truth.

They found a relatively quiet lounge bar and asked for a booth. Since there was a minimum spending requirement, they ordered several drinks in a row.

However, when it came to actually drinking, only Zeng Zhanpeng had alcohol in his glass.

Zeng Zhanpeng exclaimed, “Hey, what are you two doing? Do you expect me to tackle a whole table of drinks by myself?”

It was Fu Jinchi who explained on Yan Zishu’s behalf: “Don’t you know the mainland is very strict? You absolutely cannot drive after drinking, otherwise you’ll end up in the station, go to jail, and lose your job. So he, as the driver, doesn’t dare to drink.”

“Are you kidding me? Then why aren’t you drinking?”

“Me? Naturally, I plan to drive later.” Fu Jinchi laughed, “So Zishu, you can feel free.”

Yan Zishu was stunned: “That’s not appropriate. I should drive.”

Fu Jinchi swirled a glass of orange juice in his hand: “With me, you should slack off when you can. Zhanpeng, get him drunk.”

Zeng Zhanpeng resolutely stuffed an Apple Martini into Yan Zishu’s hand and clinked glasses with him.

Seeing this, Yan Zishu didn’t refuse any further and took a sip.

Fu Jinchi hurriedly said, “Don’t drink too fast; there’s vodka in it.”

Yan Zishu smiled gently: “Don’t worry, my alcohol tolerance should be okay.”

Fu Jinchi said, “My apologies, you’re hiding your light under a bushel.”

Throughout the evening, Yan Zishu didn’t remember how many glasses he drank.

He thought that indeed one shouldn’t say unnecessary things. Just because he blabbed that his alcohol tolerance was passable, Zeng Zhanpeng ordered “Long Island Iced Tea” for him several times in a row, with very bad intentions.

Named tea, it is actually a cocktail mixed with vodka, tequila, rum, and gin. Apart from triple sec, everything else in it is hard liquor. The taste of alcohol is masked under the sweet and sour flavor, making people accidentally drink too much as if it were a soft drink.

When he went out and was hit by the night breeze, his steps finally became a bit soft.

The one who was pouring the drinks was bent on seeing Yan Zishu in a drunken state, but he himself didn’t drink any less.

Fu Jinchi helped the staggering Zeng Zhanpeng into the car.

Yan Zishu wanted to lend a hand, but he gracefully stepped aside: “Forget it, you can’t even walk steadily yourself. Let me do it.”

After sending Zeng Zhanpeng to the hotel, going upstairs, knocking on the suite door, and handing him over to his family, Fu Jinchi finally returned.

Yan Zishu was leaning back in the passenger seat, vaguely revealing some signs of drunkenness. Due to long-term lack of rest, he also looked slightly haggard.

He took off his glasses wearily. Without the frame covering it, there was a black tear mole at the corner of his left eye, adding a touch of enchantment.

Fu Jinchi fastened his seatbelt: “Alright, it’s my turn to take you home. Where do you live?”

Yan Zishu pondered for a while and did not answer.

“Really drunk?”

“No, I’m not.”

It was just that giving his home address to others would instinctively make one feel a loss of security.

Yan Zishu was fighting against this weightlessness.

His delayed thinking only then recalled that taking a taxi was also an option, but it was too late to mention it now.

Yan Zishu told Fu Jinchi the address and then smiled: “It’s rare for once that it’s not me dropping someone else off.”

He warned himself in his heart that talking too much leads to mistakes, but the alcohol was eagerly activating his language nerves, urging him to say one more sentence, and then another.

No wonder people say there is truth in wine.

“Hmm, I think so too. You’re like what they call… a self-sacrificing personality.” Fu Jinchi said on the way, “Only willing to give, not willing to receive, otherwise you feel uncomfortable. Is that right? Actually, there’s something I’m quite curious about. Do you really never get tired?”

Yan Zishu pinched himself, defeated the somewhat surging desire to express himself, and fell silent again.

How could there be people who don’t get tired?

He didn’t reply, so Fu Jinchi continued his monologue: “I know, some people are relatively disciplined. But isn’t the human ‘Id’ all about play and rest? No matter how disciplined a person is, it’s just because their ‘Superego’ is too strong and suppresses their instincts. Zishu, when I said during the day that you were made of iron, it wasn’t entirely a joke. You seem like you have no instincts.”

“Is Mr. Fu discussing philosophy with me late at night?”

“This is psychology. Of course, if you want to discuss philosophy, that’s fine too. Desire is the driving force of human behavior. Zishu, you work without rest; where does your desire come from? Wealth? Status? Respect? Or—love?”

If Yan Zishu really had a crush on Fu Weishan, he should be extremely vigilant against Fu Jinchi’s leading questions.

But fortunately, he didn’t. Actually, in this world, to him, there was no difference between Fu Jinchi and Fu Weishan.

Whether they were protagonists or villains, they were ultimately just passersby destined to part ways.

Therefore, he remained unmoved, looked out the window, and gradually closed his eyes.

Before his consciousness blurred, he seemed to hear Fu Jinchi chuckle softly: “I really don’t know what kind of family could raise a character like yours.”

Sometimes people clearly only nap for a while, but find that they have had a very long dream. Yan Zishu was like this.

Perhaps it was because of the jeans topic, or perhaps because of Fu Jinchi’s insinuating questions, combined with a bit of alcohol fermentation.

He dreamed of his childhood and adolescence.

It was in the previous world, the past that truly belonged to him: his parents were both intellectuals teaching at universities, the family was wealthy, the environment was privileged, his grades were excellent, he developed comprehensively in morality, intelligence, physique, aesthetics, and labor, a fairy-tale family in the eyes of others…

But behind closed doors, it was a world others couldn’t see.

Yan Zishu’s mother was a very picky and strict woman. The house had to be spotless at all times; there couldn’t be a single water stain on the coffee table, not a single stray object on the floor. After cooking, the stove had to be wiped clean, and there couldn’t be any oil smoke in the kitchen.

She had high expectations for her son. Originally, hoping for one’s son to become a dragon was human nature, but too much is as bad as too little.

From when he was very young, only a few clear memories remained; there were many more he couldn’t remember.

For example, a question he still didn’t understand after being taught twice, or being careless in an exam and missing the question stem. His mother coldly whipped him with a hanger: “Why do you make such low-level mistakes? Your father and I are both university graduates; is there something wrong with your IQ?”

As for his father, he seemed to intervene sometimes. But later, unable to stand his wife’s harshness, he cheated with a female student, got divorced, and left the house with nothing. From then on, his mother’s inner demons deepened, and the corporal punishment escalated continuously.

There is a phrase used to tease people, called “go home and kneel on a washboard.” I don’t know how many people have actually knelt on one, but anyway, Yan Zishu counted as one.

He knelt on a washboard, the wooden kind, brand new with sharp edges. His knees were bruised purple and blue, hurting terribly, almost unable to stay kneeling. He faced a full-length mirror so he could see what he looked like.

Mother Yan used hangers, feather dusters, and any tool she could get her hands on to beat him desperately: “Why aren’t you the best? Why can you only get second place? Why can’t you get first place? Huh? Why can’t you make me proud? What face do I have left to live?”

Or she would drag him by his hair to the front of the mirror: “Look! Ah, look! You look exactly like your short-lived father. Your genes are inferior; no wonder neither of you is any good!”

The little child inside was wretched and bewildered, unable to cry out loud because Mother Yan insisted that “family shame should not be made public.”

With a stern look, Mother Yan taught him to hide it from outsiders, saying he bumped his leg himself.

The injuries on his body were also from falls he took himself.

Deformed hangers were often thrown out of the house.

Later, Yan Zishu spent many years suppressing the fear he felt when seeing floor-to-ceiling mirrors, as well as the urge to smash everything.

But when she was good, she had all kinds of expectations for her son.

Every morning at six, he had to get up and recite long English passages or obscure ancient texts. In short, he had to recite something; he absolutely could not lie in bed and waste his life. Not even during winter and summer vacations. He couldn’t watch TV or play games; all entertainment was a sin.

Especially after hearing that her ex-husband had another son with the female student, she demanded that her own child must crush the other in every aspect.

Everything had to be done to the extreme. For university, it had to be one of the top two; nothing else would do. The job also had to be one in a hundred, high-paying, decent, and with status. Yan Zishu didn’t go into academia to work in a university like her, and she was terribly disappointed.

Beating, scolding, hysteria.

When Yan Zishu was twenty-four, Mother Yan was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at a psychiatric hospital.

But some things had happened, some things couldn’t be undone, and some things were violently carved into his bones.

No one’s childhood can be repeated.

Yan Zishu graduated and worked like a masochist, getting promoted very quickly, wearing himself out. He earned quite a lot of money, but he had made a will to donate it all after his death, leaving not a cent. Fu Weishan spoke of desire, but he didn’t even know what his own desire was.

It seemed the case was solved. He wasn’t a person without instincts; he was a person who didn’t know how to live normally.

Yan Zishu opened his eyes groggily, only to remember that after his sudden death, he probably wouldn’t leave anything for his mother in the original world. His will was notarized, and he also requested all his belongings to be destroyed. Coming and going naked without any ties.

Fu Jinchi said, “Awake? Just in time, we’re almost at your place. You were talking in your sleep just now. Did you have a nightmare?”

Yan Zishu was startled: “What did I say?”

Fu Jinchi smiled: “You seemed to be saying something like ‘I was wrong, I won’t dare next time’. But it’s also possible that I heard wrong.”