Chapter 37#

The imperial wedding entailed far greater preparations than any mortal marriage, and three months passed in the blink of an eye.

By convention, the soon-to-be CEO’s wife ought to remain secluded at home during this period, intensively studying court etiquette. But in my case, if confined indoors for three months, I’d likely suffocate before the end. This dynasty’s CEO, who’d only just regained access to meat, would surely go bad first.

Thus, every few days, I was secretly summoned to the palace for overnight stays, euphemistically termed ‘entering the palace to learn protocol.’

My parents and brother still worried about me, but my sister-in-law’s gaze—clear, subtle, teasing—

Though it was Chu Ruiyuan’s heart, reality left me wishing I could sink through the floor.

Still, as the ‘future Empress,’ I could no longer roam freely with my old riffraff.

After all, ‘men and women should keep to their separate spheres,’ heh.

My gossip-loving childhood friend did visit once, gawking at me like some exotic specimen for half an hour before departing.

Guan Mingyue—who’d become acquainted with me after uncovering Chu Ruiyuan’s ‘true colours in adversity’ scheme in this lifetime—sent congratulations, or rather, condolences, along with his senior brother and lover, the renowned physician Jiang.

After reading this fellow’s letter, I felt the current dynasty’s CEO hadn’t done him the slightest disservice by posting him to Qu Prefecture as Chief Inspector of Criminal Justice.

Indeed, when Guan Mingyue was transferred for “gilding” two years prior, he wasn’t sent to Jiang Prefecture—that fertile land of fish and rice from my past lives—but to the desolate northern wilderness of Qu Prefecture, a place of barren mountains, treacherous waters, and troublesome commoners.

Even back when the late emperor reigned, Chu Ruiyuan wielded considerable influence over court appointments.

No wonder he orchestrated that ‘imperial decree’ farce so swiftly after ascending the throne.

Fortunately, the current Emperor merely relocated Guan Mingyue’s posting without altering his rank—clearly intending to polish him up for future promotion.

This development pleased me greatly.

Firstly, he remains a cherished friend from my past three lifetimes, having aided me immensely in the previous two. I sincerely wish him a favourable outcome.

Secondly, I await the day, in just over half a year, when the renowned Physician Jiang returns to the capital with him to treat my sister-in-law.

My sister-in-law has become pregnant again, at a time remarkably similar to her pregnancies in my prior lives.

I was more anxious than anyone in my household, finally understanding the frustration Chu Ruiyuan must have felt in my previous life when he constantly asked me to fetch tonics for my sister-in-law’s pregnancy.

But I had neither the time nor the energy to think about others.

My sole thought now was: my neck was about to snap.

Dressed in full imperial regalia, I’d been standing at the investiture ceremony for over two hours.

As a former IT worker, I’m not skilled at describing attire, but the thing on my head alone was encrusted with countless pearls and jewels, woven with innumerable threads of gold and inlaid with jade. It felt like it weighed at least three kilograms.

Given the craftsmanship and precision of imperial artisans in ancient times, I doubt they could produce such a phoenix crown in less than a year.

The CEO of this dynasty has put such effort into this—I’m both touched and exasperated by his extravagance. But most importantly, my neck truly couldn’t endure being weighed down by such a heavy thing any longer.

Thank heavens this rotten, decadent feudal ritual ended before my neck snapped.

After drinking the ceremonial wine, I sat upon the bridal bed in the CEO’s bedchamber. The moment he removed the phoenix crown and freed me, the man before me seemed to radiate such beauty he positively glowed.

Never in three lifetimes had I found him so strikingly handsome.

Even if Dugu Yan were here now, I’d declare Chu Ruiyan the most beautiful man alive.

He possessed both striking features and a fine physique, and was exceptionally skilled in the bedroom.

If we truly managed to achieve our destiny in this lifetime and grow old together, then all the turmoil of the previous two lifetimes would have been worth it.

Honestly though, he really was getting the short end of the stick.

But since he was happy to take the loss, I could only say, ‘A fool is the one who doesn’t take advantage of a good deal.’

The world’s most handsome man—this dynasty’s CEO—who I’d taken advantage of, removed my phoenix crown and proceeded to strip off my bridal veil. Once the veil was gone, he moved to peel away the layers of my empress wedding robes beneath.

I scrambled free from his embrace and threw myself onto the round table laden with wedding pastries in the bedchamber.

He’d eaten something today, but I, with my rouge and painted brows, had been starving since morning. Where would I find the strength to indulge his lustful desires?

So, I sat at the table eating, while he sat beside me, making advances.

By the time I’d filled my belly, he’d thoroughly explored every inch of my body, even stripping off the trousers and undergarments beneath my wedding robes.

Even on the imperial wedding night, Chu Ruiyuan showed little regard for propriety.

Neither of us shed much clothing. He merely pulled his crimson trousers halfway down before sitting at the table, embracing me face-to-face and taking me there.

The palace furnishings were naturally sturdy enough to bear the weight of two men, yet the round stool’s surface remained limited.

After a dozen thrusts while seated, supporting my hips as he lifted and lowered me, Chu Ruiyan found it unsatisfying. Still joined at the waist, he lifted me and carried me towards the bed.

Yet he did not return to the crimson-curtained bridal bed, but instead carried me to a rattan rocking chair placed beside it.

That rattan chair embodied the pinnacle of ancient carpentry, crafted with remarkable ergonomic precision. I had rather enjoyed rocking in it while awaiting Chu Ruiyuan in the palace earlier.

Yet now, seated backwards with my legs spread wide across the armrests, my bottom no longer resting on wicker but upon another man’s member, my rear passage repeatedly penetrated and filled by his thick shaft with each rock of the chair… I found it rather overwhelming.

‘Your Majesty… the bed… the bed… ah…’ My upper body slumped limply into Chu Ruiyuan’s embrace as I gasped my plea.

Instead, he rocked the chair even more vigorously, the colossal member beneath his waist repeatedly parting the tender flesh of my passage, thrusting deep into my core.

He murmured, ‘Your Majesty, seeing you seated upon this chair the other day sparked an idea. To try it today… indeed, it has a unique flavour.’

And so he savoured that unique flavour several times over.

By the time he finally carried me to bed, our wedding robes were utterly soiled with our combined fluids—a particularly shameful desecration of the labourers’ handiwork.

That very labourers’ handiwork was then stripped bare and flung across bed and floor alike, while I lay pinned beneath him upon crimson quilts, taken in every conceivable position until dawn’s first light.

Our wedding night, Chu Ruiyuan got a tad carried away.

Not only was I, the bride, milked dry until I wet myself, but even the groom himself, by the final round, could only muster a few extra spurts inside me.

Fortunately, the Emperor’s wedding meant court was suspended for three days.

We both slept until the sun was high in the sky the following day.

After lunch, he outlined our future arrangements.

We’d discussed these matters before, though back then they were merely conversations between lovers. Today, certain things would become imperial decrees to be enforced.

For instance, while I would nominally reside in the Empress’s palace, in reality I would live with him.

For instance, whilst he attended court, I might take some palace guards out of the palace, but once he had finished his court duties and handled state affairs, I must return to the palace to keep him company.

Another example: whether in my own palace or in the palace of the CEO of this dynasty himself, all the young and beautiful palace maids were to be transferred to other posts, leaving only eunuchs and older female officials to serve.

I find his third point both overly elaborate and somewhat lacking.

As a thoroughly gay man, even if the palace were filled with countless young, beautiful maids, I’d have no interest whatsoever.

And if anyone truly fancied doing something, well, I’m a man with a cock. Even if they drugged me and a eunuch together, they could still create a ‘scandal in the court’.

Still, I reckon it’s wisest to keep quiet and let him run his course.

Given His Majesty’s CEO-like jealousy, if I spoke up, he might get so worked up he’d insist on strapping me into a chastity belt or something. I’d have nowhere to cry about it.

So I simply followed his decrees and endured his stormy antics for over three months, until New Year’s Eve arrived.

On New Year’s Eve, His Majesty hosted his customary banquet in the palace for all civil and military officials, along with the noble ladies.

I partook of three cups of wine before excusing myself early, citing ‘feeling unwell’.

Otherwise, dressed in my full empress regalia—though the ladies-in-waiting had made me look rather presentable—I’d have felt terribly awkward facing over a hundred people.

After leaving the banquet, I summoned my mother and sister-in-law to the inner palace. The three of us shared some private words.

Before long, Chu Ruiyan too had ‘had one too many,’ dismissing the officials to retire to the palace himself.

My mother and sister-in-law, ever the tactful ones, took their leave with a curtsy. Left alone in my female attire, I was subjected to the CEO of this dynasty’s relentless attentions throughout the night.

At the start of the New Year, court was customarily suspended for three days.

Thus, I endured three more days of relentless manoeuvring.

Once these three days passed, two momentous events unfolded in succession.

The first was my sister-in-law suffering abdominal pains, her labour commencing prematurely.

Fortunately, I had invited the renowned Physician Jiang to reside at the Prime Minister’s residence after the first day of the New Year. Had I not, it was highly likely my sister-in-law would have perished along with her unborn child and the newborn.

The other occurred around New Year’s Eve, when certain court officials took offence at my female attire—which, truth be told, was not unbecoming.

Before the fifteenth day of the first lunar month had passed, over a dozen court officials, both high and low, jointly petitioned His Majesty to take a consort.

The palace maids and eunuchs have always been adept at aligning themselves with those in favour.

What the future holds remains uncertain, but for now, they clearly observe and remember just how favoured this Empress is.

Thus, though I dislike meddling in court affairs, the moment Chu Ruiyuan publicly exposed these officials’ family misdeeds—be they illegalities or moral transgressions—during morning court, someone promptly sought to curry favour with me by tipping me off while I dined in the harem.

I marvelled at how this reincarnated CEO of our dynasty wielded his influence over people and monitored court officials with a skill that rivalled certain emperors of the Ming dynasty. At the same time, I couldn’t help but reflect: no wonder the rivalries and intrigues for favour within the harems throughout history could fill volumes entitled A History of Warfare Without Gunpowder.