Chapter 18#

Extra: First Life (Part 1)#

When Chu Ruiyuan first met Liu Jun’an at the age of nine, he thought he was stupid and lazy. He simply couldn’t understand how his father, the Emperor, could have chosen such a person as his study companion.

But that stupid and lazy person was blessed with a fool’s luck, living a carefree life every day. This made Chu Ruiyuan feel a sense of laziness, often thinking how wonderful it would be if he could be like him.

He never expected to hear a word of admonition from Liu Jun’an’s mouth, which struck his heart like a warning gavel.

It turned out that he wasn’t a real fool, but could barely be considered wise despite his foolish appearance.

When the Imperial Noble Consort gave birth to a son for his father, Chu Ruiyuan was envious of how much this new prince, whose mother was still alive, was favored. After all, given his age, no matter how favored his younger brother was, it couldn’t shake the foundation of his succession to the throne.

He just suddenly realized that his father had always been wary of him. He was afraid that appointing Liu Jun’an as the crown prince’s study companion was also a malicious act.

This kind of bitterness of a rude awakening was something he couldn’t tell others, and others couldn’t comfort him.

Therefore, when he saw the talented and handsome eldest son of the Prime Minister’s mansion, who was also a filial son, an indescribable feeling grew in his heart.

It was like admiration, like jealousy; like longing, like a stirring of the heart.

With one thought, all evil is done.

With one thought, all calamities are born.

When admiration and longing were buried in his heart for a long time, they became an obsession.

Whether it was to take the person into his possession, or to break his wings and stain his color, on the day of Liu Junping’s wedding, the obsession in his heart bore the flower of evil and the fruit of calamity——

Since I am the Son of Heaven, the lord of all lands and the ruler of all people, why can’t I fulfill my heart’s desire?

Thus, he mobilized his troops and left the palace.

But it was Liu Jun’an, who had been with him for several years, who stopped him.

The common people and this great country…

Liu Jun’an was not wrong. Although he was the Son of Heaven, his wings were not yet full. If he insulted the eldest son of the Prime Minister out of a momentary impulse, the consequences would be something he couldn’t bear at this time.

But Liu Jun’an said he liked him and wanted to be a substitute for his brother.

Ten years later, when Chu Ruiyuan thought back, he couldn’t remember why he had nodded in agreement at that time.

Perhaps it was the angry retaliation after his youthful spirit was blocked.

Perhaps it was because he couldn’t get what he wanted, so he had to settle for the next best thing.

Perhaps, it was just because of the look in Liu Jun’an’s eyes when he spoke, so soft and gentle.

His initial love affairs with Liu Jun’an were all like venting.

Venting the frustration of being the Son of Heaven but being unable to do certain things, venting the anger of seeing his beloved with someone else.

He only regarded the person under him as Liu Junping, wanting to extract masculine pleasure and satisfaction from him.

Until he realized how deeply the person who had become a substitute was in love with him.

Until he realized that his pleasure and satisfaction were built on Liu Jun’an’s pain.

For the first time in his life, Chu Ruiyuan felt such a sense of guilt and embarrassment.

So, he began to think about how to compensate Liu Jun’an.

Since his heart was with someone else and he couldn’t return his love, he would give him a moment of pleasure.

At that time, the emperor was still young and impetuous, and almost did something he would regret for the rest of his life.

On New Year’s Eve, a banquet was held in the palace for civil and military officials and their families with official titles. He watched Liu Junping and his wife, who was about to give birth, being so affectionate and respectful to each other. On the surface, he was calm, but inside, his heart was in turmoil, and he couldn’t help but drink a few more cups.

Later, when Liu Junping was drunk and was led by a eunuch to rest and sober up, Chu Ruiyuan, under the influence of alcohol, couldn’t control his thoughts and followed him. Looking at Liu Junping’s slightly flushed drunken face, he couldn’t help but lower his head and plant a kiss on his lips.

Light and shallow, as short as morning dew, as brief as a flash of lightning.

But he never expected that this momentary kiss would be seen by Liu Junping’s wife.

When he heard from his secret guards how she had seen it but didn’t expose it, just quietly turned back, the anger of a defeated dog being seen through by the victor made him want to kill her in an instant.

“I don’t want to see her again,” he ordered.

But when his heart calmed down and he heard that Liu Junping’s wife had really died in childbirth, Chu Ruiyuan couldn’t help but feel a little guilt and unease.

Especially when his spies reported to him daily how Liu Junping was in so much pain that he wished he could die with her, the guilt and unease in his heart became stronger and stronger, so strong that he didn’t even dare to go to the Prime Minister’s mansion to see his beloved.

Fortunately, after Liu Junping’s deceased wife was buried, he ordered someone to open the coffin and investigate, and found that she had indeed died of a difficult birth. The medicine given by the spy in the Prime Minister’s mansion was not drunk by the other party, but it was destined that she would suffer this fatal calamity.

His heart was finally at ease, but he still had some lingering fears and couldn’t sleep well at night.

Perhaps the taste of these ten days of anxiety was too unbearable. When Liu Junping finally came to court, Chu Ruiyuan looked at his figure, which was much more haggard than before but had a different kind of charm, but he couldn’t feel the desire to take him by force and possess him as he had in the past.

What he had in his heart was an indescribable fatigue and loss. He just wanted to tell someone about his feelings and get some comfort from someone.

He was a young emperor, and after reviewing the people around him, only Liu Jun’an could be this person.

So he summoned Liu Jun’an to the palace again, not for those intimate matters, but just to have someone to talk to him sincerely.

After listening to Liu Jun’an’s thoughts, he finally understood that his previous thoughts were not so much love as a childish possessiveness.

His feelings for Liu Junping were like an emotional sustenance for all the things he couldn’t get due to his status and etiquette.

Liu Jun’an’s thoughts for him were the real deep love.

So his obsession for all these years seemed to have dissipated in this one night.

The next morning, when he held Liu Jun’an, Chu Ruiyuan truly felt what he was doing and with whom.

It couldn’t be said that it made him fall in love, but his heart was also shaken.

Three years passed quickly, and it was time for Chu Ruiyuan to come of age and get married.

He didn’t have many thoughts about marrying an empress and taking concubines.

It was just something that a monarch had to do. Whether it was marrying someone or having someone give birth to a child, it was just a means of the emperor’s power to maintain the balance of the court.

What’s more, the chosen empress and consort were so boring, not even a tenth as interesting as his Mingzhi.

However, his Mingzhi was actually jealous and threw a tantrum, refusing to come to the palace to see him, which was also cute.

So cute that he couldn’t help but go out of the palace to the Chajing Tower to catch him. After catching him, he had to comfort him well, and then eat him alive.

But he never expected to see such a child at Liu Jun’an’s place.

The stunning appearance that could be seen even at a young age and the eyes that clung to his Mingzhi were unbearable for him even if he was a real child, let alone that he was already twelve years old.

Chu Ruiyuan himself had a thousand thoughts when he was twelve years old. He didn’t believe that the white-haired boy who had been living under someone else’s roof since he was a child could be as pure as a white paper.

But his Mingzhi, who was sometimes wise and sometimes really stupid, actually wanted to raise that person as a younger brother. He was afraid that he would not raise a loyal dog, but a wolf with fangs.

So, Chu Ruiyuan sent a spy to find the child’s family and send them far away, so that they would not be an eyesore.

But he never thought at that time that the boy who eventually grew into a wolf would one day come back and bite someone’s neck.

Extra: First Life (Part 2)#

Chu Ruiyuan had known for a long time that the Empress and the Noble Consort were having an affair. However, he had not touched either of them since their wedding night. He thought that these two were lonely in the deep palace, and with the various balancing acts of the court, he turned a blind eye.

But he never expected that the Anguo Gong Mansion, after being warned by him, would not repent but would take a desperate risk. He also never expected that the Empress would be so bold as to drug him, and even use the “lone plant”.

Afterwards, he wished he could disregard everything and slaughter everyone in the Anguo Gong Mansion and the Empress’s palace.

If it weren’t for Mingzhi, who gradually calmed his heart, this generation of monarchs would probably have acted against the Anguo Gong before the time was right.

After his heart calmed down and his future plans were set, Chu Ruiyuan’s actions against the Anguo Gong and the Empress were to raise them high and let them fall gently.

He was so benevolent and powerful that it seemed as if he had punished them and no longer held a grudge against what had happened.

When the Empress gave birth to a prince, Chu Ruiyuan knew that this child might be his only son. Although he did not like his biological mother, he had to take him with him and let the palace people raise him with all their heart. If there were no other children in ten years, he would be established as the crown prince.

Having a child to raise in the bedroom was naturally a different feeling, but his attention was soon drawn to other things.

That was that his Mingzhi was going to marry a wife behind his back.

When Liu Jun’an said he wanted to take a concubine, although Chu Ruiyuan was unhappy, he finally approved it, considering that the mistress of the Prime Minister’s mansion was indeed old and Liu Junping’s deceased wife was involved in the past.

However, there could only be that one, and he would not allow his Mingzhi to really touch that concubine.

Who knew that after Liu Jun’an met that woman named Fang Xueying, he actually changed his mind. Not only did he want to disobey him and marry a wife, but he also said that he had “taken a fancy” to that woman.

When Chu Ruiyuan heard the report from the spy buried in the Prime Minister’s mansion, he only felt a surge of anger, which burned him a hundred times more angrily than when Liu Junping was going to get married. He wished he could grab the person immediately, press him down and fuck him to death.

And that damn Liu Jun’an actually dared to defy the imperial edict and not come to see him. After Chu Ruiyuan smashed things in the palace three times, he laughed in anger.

You want to be a groom, don’t you?

Good! On your wedding night, I will make you a bride.

Fortunately, his Mingzhi was just being stupid again, and he didn’t even understand that he had only allowed him to take a concubine.

After Chu Ruiyuan had savored Liu Jun’an in his wedding clothes, the raging fire in his heart had almost disappeared, and a hint of pity had even arisen…

This person who loved him so deeply and was foolish from time to time, how could he live without him?