Chapter 14#
Chapter 14#
Time rewinds to five nights ago.
With a complex mood, Zhang Xingchuan drove Tan Xiao back to school. Before parting, he confirmed with Tan Xiao once more: did he truly wish for him to forget that conversation tonight?
Tan Xiao unfastened his seatbelt and reached out toward Zhang Xingchuan.
Zhang Xingchuan’s breath hitched.
The car fragrance came from a New Year gift box given by a partner. He had used it casually; it was an oceanic scent. In the dry and warm environment inside the car, it created a moist and cold illusion.
Perhaps being touched by Tan Xiao’s fingers would feel similar.
But the expected touch didn’t happen.
Tan Xiao just snapped his fingers by Zhang Xingchuan’s ear and uttered an “oblivion spell.”
Since the party involved had such a wish, Zhang Xingchuan decided to act as if he hadn’t heard anything and nothing had happened.
But why was Tan Xiao’s spell completely ineffective?
Not only did Zhang Xingchuan fail to forget, but he kept thinking about it repeatedly.
He thought about it on the way back, while showering, and before sleeping. After falling asleep, he even dreamed about it.
In his dream, he and Tan Xiao were sitting on adjacent sides of a square table, just like they had during dinner.
The actual situation during dinner was that Tan Xiao wasn’t as lively as usual and didn’t speak much. He occasionally peeked at Zhang Xingchuan’s expression, then quickly looked away, and sometimes those handsome brows would furrow. The “zaizai” (kid) was truly troubled.
And Zhang Xingchuan himself, appearing to be sitting there eating, was actually more than half “dead.”
But in the dream, Tan Xiao was not only extremely lively, constantly chatting and laughing with Zhang Xingchuan, but he also seemed to have ADHD, constantly touching Zhang Xingchuan.
One moment tapping him here, the next squeezing him there.
Dreaming naturally has no physical reality; Zhang Xingchuan only felt himself being swept back and forth by an invisible feather.
Suddenly a waiter came over to add tea. Tan Xiao picked up the scalding tea to drink. Knowing it was a dream, Zhang Xingchuan still hurriedly warned him, “Careful.”
The surrounding environment shifted from the Shandong restaurant of that night to the Cantonese restaurant they had visited during the New Year.
Tan Xiao had already been scalded by the tea and was fanning his mouth with his hand to cool it down.
Zhang Xingchuan was very worried and reached out, using his thumb to part Tan Xiao’s lips, wanting to see if he had been burned by the hot tea.
The two looked into each other’s eyes. Tan Xiao’s lips were warm and moist.
The Cantonese restaurant also disappeared, and at some point, they were back at Zhang Xingchuan’s house.
Tan Xiao was mixing drinks at the bar. He was wearing that peacock blue velvet shirt adorned with pearls. The shirt’s hem was tucked into draped black trousers, his waist so slender it was almost bewitching. A section of fair wrist was exposed from his folded cuffs. He pushed the mixed cocktail over and looked at Zhang Xingchuan expectantly.
Zhang Xingchuan gazed at the pearls on the shirt’s collar. The halo they reflected made him feel dazed and dazzled even in the dream.
The light at the bar dimmed.
Zhang Xingchuan found himself at the entrance of a tiered venue. On stage, an elderly academic was sharing insights.
In a daze, he descended the steps. In the audience, it seemed there was someone he was looking for.
Yes, this row. The two seats on the edge were empty. In the third seat in, a boy was slacking off and writing a paper.
Zhang Xingchuan sat down in this destined empty seat. He looked at the boy intently.
The boy sensed it, turned around, and also looked at Zhang Xingchuan.
He’s truly beautiful. At that moment, Zhang Xingchuan’s heart pounded like a drum.
In the dream, Zhang Xingchuan got to know Tan Xiao once more.
And after waking up, he also had to get to know himself again.
Five days later, now, the “Lover’s Slope Symposium” was still ongoing.
Chen Shu gave a high evaluation of Tan Xiao and his “him”: “My girlfriend and I aren’t even as good at dating as the two of you. You two are really good at ‘dating’ (talking/relating).”
Tan Xiao’s eyes went dark. He felt that this junior architecture student’s level of “abstractness” was beyond his reach; it had already reached another world.
He realized it might be because he himself forgot to explain the basic setup between him and Zhang Xingchuan to Chen Shu first.
“First of all, I’m not a ‘gay-zi’ (gay guy),” Tan Xiao said. “He certainly isn’t either.”
Chen Shu said, “Oh? Elaborate.”
Tan Xiao said, “He has a ‘white moonlight’ he’s liked for many years, a girl. Both of us are definitely straight men. Where is the gay guy in this problem? There isn’t one here, not even one.”
“Then…” Chen Shu said, “Senior, wait a bit. Your problem is a bit beyond the scope. Let me think again.”
Known: the senior is straight, and the friend who has made the senior lose his soul is also straight.
No gay guys, not even one.
“So, you are one straight man,” Chen Shu first used his left hand to sign a ‘1’, then his right hand to sign another ‘1’, and said, “and another straight man.”
Tan Xiao nodded. That’s right.
Chen Shu then moved the two ‘1’s closer together and said, “are in a relationship.”
Tan Xiao almost fainted.
Chen Shu added, “This is a hard problem; it’s at the level of a ‘bonus question’.”
Tan Xiao didn’t understand why he was so stubbornly certain of this conclusion and said indignantly, “Your direction for solving the problem is just wrong. What kind of ‘king of giving advice’ are you? How did your brain get you into Tsinghua?”
“Oh, I didn’t take the entrance exam,” Chen Shu shrugged. “I was recommended for admission.”
“…” Tan Xiao was momentarily speechless with anger and collapsed onto the lawn.
Chen Shu let out a small shriek: “Sen—ior—!”
He even leaned over, making a move as if to give Tan Xiao artificial respiration, but was quickly kicked away by Tan Xiao.
Chen Shu was kicked over onto the lawn, laughing heartily at his own antics. Between laughs, he said, “I really have an idea now. Call your boyfriend over, and you two give each other artificial respiration. Then all the conflicts will be gone. Listen to me, you’re right; in a relationship, you have to kiss more.”
Tan Xiao: “…”
He was truly startled by Chen Shu’s reference to Zhang Xingchuan as his “boyfriend.”
Following Chen Shu’s next sentence, describing intimate behavior that Tan Xiao and Zhang Xingchuan had never had, Tan Xiao was even more startled into numbness.
“You just lie here and don’t move for me,” Tan Xiao couldn’t control the imagined images flooding his mind. His face turned red, and he stood up from the lawn swiftly, threatening Chen Shu fiercely, “I’m going to get a shovel and bury you right now. Just wait.”
With a long stride, he cleared the lawn in two steps and ran off without looking back, fleeing in a panic.
Of course, he wouldn’t really come back to bury Chen Shu. He was truly running away now.
Chen Shu watched his senior leave from afar. Resting his head on his hands, he looked at the setting sun and the clouds filling the sky, and sent a message to his girlfriend: “Wife, hurry and praise me. I’ve helped a friend solve another life problem.”
His computer science master’s girlfriend replied to him: “Stop causing trouble! You do this every single day.”
Tan Xiao ran back to the PhD building. He spun around in the hallway like a headless fly. In this dormitory building where he had lived for nearly three years, Dr. Tan almost got lost.
Finally returning to his single room, he locked the door behind him, took off his running tracksuit, and went into the private shower for a hot shower.
After coming out from the shower, there was a full-length mirror in the room. Tan Xiao examined himself carefully in front of the mirror.
Guys all look like this, the basic configuration is similar. What exactly do gay men like?
A few years ago, when he just turned twenty, he had developed into a young man. At the time when his curiosity and narcissism were strongest, he had taken selfies in front of the mirror for self-entertainment. While filming, he had intended to keep them as a personal collection. But looking at the video afterward—how could there be something so embarrassing in the world? He deleted it before even finishing it.
As for other guys, he had absolutely no interest.
He often went to the public bath during his undergraduate years and had participated in guys’ horseplay in the bathhouse. He was certain he had never felt any abnormal sensations.
There was a bit of competitiveness, but he had never seen any male classmate who was better looking than himself.
He couldn’t possibly be gay.
And Zhang Xingchuan couldn’t possibly be one either.
While Tan Xiao was blow-drying his hair, the phone he had left outside rang several times consecutively. He didn’t hear it. Coming out after a while, he saw a whole bunch of messages.
More than a dozen classmates had successively forwarded a post to him, all asking him: “That’s you in the photo, right?”
And some asked him jokingly: “How did you get a boyfriend without saying a word?”
Before even opening the post, Tan Xiao saw this question and thought someone had photographed him and Zhang Xingchuan. He was instantly startled.
Immediately he thought, Wait, no. Zhang Xingchuan and I have never done anything, what could they have photographed?
This is bad, Tan Xiao felt a bit of despair. Is the word ‘boyfriend’ now automatically associated with Zhang Xingchuan?
That ‘king of giving advice’, please take back your magic, King.
Zhang Xingchuan had gone to Tianjin for business today and was on his way back to Beijing, reading the news on his phone in the back of the business car.
Special assistant Jiaxin was dozing in the front passenger seat. Her return meant the CEO’s true accompanying confidant was back in place; administrative Secretary Feng remained at the company to continue processing administrative work.
Today’s financial news was quite boring, making Zhang Xingchuan want to doze off too.
His sleep hadn’t been very good these past few days. With things on his mind, it was hard to sleep soundly.
As for what was on his mind, it belonged to the category of “see no evil, speak no evil.”
It was just that he hadn’t made any kind of decision, still standing at the crossroads of choice, hesitating again and again.
It was almost dark, and he hadn’t received a message from Tan Xiao today.
These past few days, it was Tan Xiao who had found some topics to chat with him. He had also tried to take the initiative to say something to Tan Xiao, but as soon as he opened the dialog box, his mind went blank, and the snap of fingers from that day echoed in his ears repeatedly.
Tan Xiao was too young; he could say it easily and take it back easily.
Zhang Xingchuan thought this was actually quite good. If Tan Xiao could “take it up and put it down” so easily, he wouldn’t be heartbroken by him.
A few group message notifications popped up at the top of his phone.
The CEO didn’t have the habit of muting group messages, mainly because he didn’t have many messy groups to begin with; most of them were usually very quiet.
The one popping up now was the Tsinghua alumni group. He took a glance. A classmate had come across a school-related online post and shared it for the classmates to see.
This was a common way for classmates to keep in touch emotionally. Having graduated for more than ten years, they were scattered all over the world and didn’t all work in the internet industry; only the school was a common topic for everyone.
Zhang Xingchuan was bored watching the news, so he opened the group to see what new and interesting things had happened at school. Maybe he could chat with Tan Xiao about it later.
The classmate shared a link to a Xiaohongshu post. The poster was a tourist who went to visit Tsinghua today and posted a half-day tour “plog,” checking in at various famous spots on campus.
This wasn’t a popular post; likes and comments weren’t many. It would only be pushed to the homepage by big data for those who often followed information related to Tsinghua.
The reason that classmate shared this post in the group wasn’t that the post triggered nostalgia for the campus, but rather this exclamation: “Is the school’s enrollment now screening for looks? These two juniors could both debut.”
The blogger had posted photos of various spots on campus. Inevitably, Tsinghua students would appear in the frame unknowingly.
What triggered the classmate’s exclamation were two of the male students the blogger had photographed.
The classmate highlighted the point in the group: “Those two from Lover’s Slope, a pair of very handsome and cute juniors.”
Zhang Xingchuan scrolled back through the pages and stopped at the photo from Lover’s Slope.
Under the orange sunset, two boys in the photo were playing around on Lover’s Slope. One boy in white was lying on the lawn, and another boy in black was kneeling on one knee beside him, even leaning down as if to kiss the boy in white. The location was the campus Lover’s Slope in spring, with lush green grass and slanted rays of sunset—it had that kind of atmosphere.
The blogger also had a sense of romance, adding text to the photo of each check-in point. The one for this one was: “The sunset is just right. Encountered a ’top-student couple’ (Xueba Xiao Qinglv). Wishing you 99 (forever).”
Zhang Xingchuan thought to himself, What is this, the ‘Sleeping Beauty’ gay version?
What the classmate in the group said was indeed correct; both of these boys were tall and handsome, quite eye-catching.
Wait, this “Sleeping Beauty”?
Zhang Xingchuan looked closely. These brows, this nose bridge, this curve of the lips upturned—who else could it be but Tan Xiao?
Zhang Xingchuan: “…”
Like the classmate in the group said, both photos from Lover’s Slope in the post captured the juniors. This was only the first one, so what would the second one be? Looking at the trend, did the boy in black kiss Tan Xiao?
Zhang Xingchuan didn’t want to look. But he also wanted to see.
He scrolled to the next one, wanting to see for sure.
The blogger was posting photos, not a live recording, so there was a time gap between the two.
Something had already happened. Tan Xiao had risen from the lawn, replaced by that boy in black lying beside him, still looking at Tan Xiao with a smile. Tan Xiao should be saying something to him, with an expression on his face that looked like anger and also like shyness. Compared to the previous one, his face had turned much redder.
It was an expression Zhang Xingchuan had never seen before. Never seen, never.