Chapter 9#

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-01-25 23:03:21

By the way, someone asked me last time how I would spend the Spring Festival this year.

Don’t worry about me being alone. This year my dad is bringing his boyfriend, no, his husband back to spend the New Year with me.

I’m going to pick them up tomorrow and take them around to play. I might update less in the next few days.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year in advance!

[1st Floor] Sky_high: Knowing Xiaoxi is not alone for the New Year, I’m relieved!

[2nd Floor] Ni Song Zui Mei: Xiaoxi, remember to come see us during the New Year!!

[3rd Floor] [OP] Just Registered A Random Account: Okay (^-^q).

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-01-26 23:28:32

After deleting Moments and Weibo, I put my phone in the bedroom to charge, then went to the living room to eat with Dabai.

Halfway through the meal, Dabai’s phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID, then looked at me and said: “Pei Hao.”

I quickly whispered to him: “Don’t say I came to you today.”

Dabai picked up the phone and instantly switched to playing dumb mode:

“Hello, Brother Hao.”

“Ah? No, I’m still working overtime at the office.”

“Xiaoxi? How could he be missing?”

“Ah? How did his leg become lame?”

“Strange, in City Y, if he has something, who else can he look for if not you or me?”

“Could he have gone back to City X?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll also ask around for you.”

…………

I gave Dabai a thumbs up: “Acting score full marks, the Oscars owe you a little golden man.”

“Stop flattering me,” Dabai pointed to the phone and said, “I feel like he’s anxious enough to call the police over there. If you don’t call back quickly, I guarantee that before long your sister and the police station will know you ran away from home with a lame leg.”

Anxious enough to call the police? Not really, right? When I left, I left a note on the coffee table in the living room, pressed under the ashtray. It said “I’m leaving, take care of yourself in the future. Xiaoxi”. There was only this note half the size of an A4 paper and an ashtray on the coffee table. Unless he is blind, he must have seen it. He recognizes my handwriting, and the things taken away were only mine, so everything is obvious. I wanted to leave myself. It’s impossible to be some melodramatic plot like being forced or kidnapped.

In my imagination, when Pei Hao knew I left, his initial reaction might be a bit angry. After all, even if a dog raised for five years left without a sound, the owner would be more or less resentful. But once that feeling passes, thinking carefully, I’m not someone he loved deeply, and it’s impossible to partner up for a lifetime. We were going to scatter sooner or later. Might as well go along with his wish and break it off this time.

Who knows how many times Pei Hao has thought about breaking up with me in his heart. Maybe every time he sees Fu Yan, his heart wavers once. There are many breakup words he might have rehearsed thousands of times, just unable to say them due to this or that reason. And now I just found him an appropriate time, a sufficient reason.

In this way, parting ways, each happy.

I looked at Dabai suspiciously and asked again for confirmation: “Are you sure he is very anxious?”

“Nonsense,” Dabai flicked my forehead with his index finger and said, “He is not only very anxious, but anxious enough to cry!”

This was not the reaction I expected. After all, last time after we had a breakup scare, I packed up and left in front of him, and he didn’t even think about looking for me. This time I even saved him the superficial drama that couples should have when breaking up, yet he suddenly wants to look for me? Shouldn’t be.

I pondered, not quite understanding Pei Hao’s brain circuit. I wasn’t afraid of him calling the police, but afraid of him calling my sister. Thinking of Pei Hao’s attitude towards me these past few days, I suddenly became a bit unsure if he would really look for me everywhere next. So I walked back to the bedroom on crutches to get my phone.

The phone screen was indeed flashing. After the light dimmed, I saw more than twenty missed calls on it, all from Pei Hao. I seemed to have put it on silent before, no wonder I didn’t hear it in the living room. Just as I was about to call back, the phone rang again. It was still him.

I picked up the phone: “Hello?”

“Where are you now?” Pei Hao’s voice was urgent. He usually called me Xiaoxi first when calling, then talked about things.

I didn’t answer him, but asked: “Did you see the note on the coffee table?”

“Hmm…” Pei Hao paused and whispered: “You took your things away too…”

I changed my posture and sat down, saying lightly: “Yes, I wanted to leave myself.”

Pei Hao said hoarsely: “Are you still angry with me?”

I shook my head, although he couldn’t see it: “Not angry. I don’t feel anything now. I want to leave it like this, let’s break up.”

Pei Hao seemed to take a deep breath over there. After a while, he changed to a forceful tone and said: “Where are you? I’ll come to pick you up immediately.”

I frowned: “Pei Hao, don’t you understand yet? I really want to break up with you.”

“Xiaoxi…” Pei Hao raised his voice with a hint of pleading, “That day I really didn’t see you fall into the water. I swear, if I knew it was you, I would have jumped down to save you regardless of everything!”

I paused and went straight to the point: “Why didn’t you see me that day, only saw Fu Yan?”

Pei Hao was silent for a moment, unable to answer.

“Because your eyes only have Fu Yan. For these five years, your heart only has Fu Yan.” I sneered, my heart full of sarcasm. Pei Hao gave me the deepest and heaviest stab, and in the end, I had to personally open the wound for him to see.

Pei Hao wanted to explain, but in his anxiety, his words were a bit incoherent: “No Xiaoxi, Xiaoxi, there is nothing between him and me, we are just ordinary friends.”

“Maybe you are really just ordinary, but your feelings for him have never been ordinary. Pei Hao, since you like him, treat him well in the future. I wish you happiness,” I sighed, leaned back on the bed and closed my eyes, saying, “I’m too tired these five years. I’ve let myself go, you let me go too.”

Pei Hao’s voice suddenly trembled: “Xiaoxi, I won’t let go. Where are you? Let me explain to you face to face, okay?”

I don’t need any explanation. I just want to leave you now, leave a failed relationship, and start life anew.

I replied calmly: “Let’s leave it like this. Don’t look for me anymore. I’m fine now.”

Pei Hao’s voice wilted: “Xiaoxi, I…”

I felt this kind of conversation was very tiring. There would be no end to it if we continued like this. So when Pei Hao was still preparing to say something, I cut off the call.

Pei Hao’s call immediately chased after me relentlessly. I hung up, he called again. Looking at the constantly flashing phone screen, I felt irritable for no reason, so I simply blocked his phone number directly.

Stop explaining, stop pretending how reluctant you are to let me go. Obviously in this relationship, the one who has always been hard to let go is me, the one who has always been stuck in the mire is me.

After a while, Pei Hao’s WeChat messages came one after another:

“Xiaoxi, I reflected on it. There are many places where I didn’t do well in these five years. I will change all of them. Give me a chance, let me make it up to you, okay?”

“Your leg hasn’t healed yet. Come back, I’ll take you to the doctor. Let me take care of you. What if you fall alone outside? At least heal your injury here before talking about leaving.”

“Xiaoxi, you can’t just leave without a sound like this. At least let us meet and make things clear.”

…………

I held the phone staring at the WeChat messages popping up every few seconds, with mixed feelings. What’s the use of saying these now? How can things that couldn’t be explained clearly in five years be explained clearly now? I admit you might still care about me, but this care, once related to Fu Yan, becomes nothing.

Another WeChat message from Pei Hao popped up. I didn’t open it to read, but clicked on the menu, selected Pei Hao, and chose to delete friend.

The world suddenly became quiet, and my heart also became empty. Let it be like this, dust to dust, earth to earth. One day, we will all find someone to spend our lives with, occasionally reminiscing about the youthful and reckless times. It’s just that the person who can spend a lifetime with you will no longer be me.

[1st Floor] Wu Xue Tong Tong Tong: Good breakup, wonderful breakup, breakup makes me quack!

[2nd Floor] A Yi Yi: Why do I feel Scumbag Pei’s EQ is worrying? Even at this time, doesn’t he know to say “I love you, not Fu Yan”?

[3rd Floor] Dreamme: Person above +1.

[4th Floor] Lift Radio: Scumbag top doesn’t have low EQ, but he can’t say it, because he loves Fu Yan the most, not Xiaoxi.

…………

[8th Floor] Young_wea: Let me speculate on the scumbag top’s mental journey: Ah, this kid likes me, hmm quite cute €€€€ Since he chased me, just agree to play along €€€€ The kid is good in all aspects, quite comfortable being together €€€€ But the “white moonlight” is the best, he is electricity, he is light, he is the only myth €€€€ “White moonlight” and the kid, of course choose “white moonlight” €€€€ The kid is leaving me, no absolutely not, who will treat me well after he leaves?

[9th Floor] 8Voooo: Ahem, I want to say a sentence. I think Pei Hao likes Xiaoxi. If he didn’t like him, he wouldn’t have this reaction when Xiaoxi left.

[10th Floor] €€€€ One Knife: Like is like, just that this like is too cheap. Xiaoxi already said, as long as Fu Yan is involved, this like is nothing.

…………

[18th Floor] Three Thousand Weak Water 08: I don’t care who likes whom, I just want to abuse the scumbag top! Xiaoxi promise me, abuse the scumbag top to death!! Never look back!!!

[19th Floor] AndyKK: Ah, most annoyed with people who still entangle after breaking up. The moment Xiaoxi blocked him, I was so excited I finished a pound of crabs.