Chapter 29#
Chapter 29 Extra - Four
Since parting during the Spring Festival, Shane had been appearing more diligently at the library. Every time he came, it was to borrow or return books, so even if he had other motives, Mo Xi couldn’t really say anything.
Shane would bring Mo Xi small gifts, intentionally or not, such as a cup of coffee on a weekend morning, or one or two interesting little gadgets. Small enough that refusing would seem too distant, yet accepting them felt like falling into a trap.
He had asked Mo Xi out many times, but Mo Xi politely refused with the excuse of being too busy. However, Shane showed no intention of giving up, continuing to do as he pleased—borrowing books when he should, and giving gifts when he wanted.
Even Mo Xi’s colleagues sensed something, occasionally joking that he should consider Shane to enrich his study abroad life, as going on a date wouldn’t hurt.
Mo Xi always smiled and changed the subject; he wasn’t interested. Perhaps traumatized by Pei Hao’s past pursuit, he had long developed immunity to tactics involving frequent appearances and gift-giving.
He was now only concerned with saving up enough for next year’s tuition. It was the path he had chosen, and he would finish it even if he had to crawl.
On Friday, Shane texted him again to ask him out for dinner on the weekend. Mo Xi casually scrolled through their chat history and realized this was already the fifth time he had turned him down.
Mo Xi always felt apprehensive about someone’s inexplicable affection, especially when he didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t have a habit of leading people on, nor did he see the point in wasting other people’s time and energy. If he didn’t refuse firmly, he didn’t know how long Shane would blindly persist.
After thinking it over, he deleted the message he had just drafted and replaced it with “Okay.”
He wanted to take this opportunity to make things clear in person.
The weather that day was quite nice. Mo Xi got off work at 4 PM. After handing over his tasks, he wrapped himself in his coat and headed out.
Shane was already waiting there, and when he saw Mo Xi coming out, he greeted him cheerfully.
It was obvious Shane had dressed up for the occasion. His beard was shaved clean, his hair was neatly styled with wax, and as soon as Mo Xi got close, he smelled a faint scent of perfume.
“Happy Birthday!” Shane’s first sentence to Mo Xi was a blessing in Chinese, spoken with slightly unclear pronunciation. Since meeting Mo Xi, he often studied Chinese at home.
Mo Xi was startled at first, then realized that today really was his birthday. He had completely forgotten about it; it took someone else to remind him.
He lowered his head and smiled embarrassedly. To say he wasn’t moved would be a lie, but he also found it a bit funny. His first birthday in a foreign country was going to be spent with Shane.
Shane looked at the confusion in Mo Xi’s eyes and couldn’t help ruffling his hair. Did this kid forget his own birthday? He was so scatterbrained, but that only made him cuter.
Mo Xi turned his head away uncomfortably and asked, “Where are we going?”
“I booked a restaurant.” Shane stared at him closely, the love in his eyes impossible to hide.
“Okay.” Mo Xi nodded and followed Shane towards the parking lot.
Within minutes, the deep winter sun seemed to consciously withdraw its light, making way for sudden sleet. Snowflakes fell unceremoniously, the wind picked up, and pedestrians on the street quickened their pace.
Suddenly, a figure appeared on the road ahead, standing still amidst the bustling crowd, quietly watching them.
Mo Xi involuntarily stopped and looked ahead.
The newcomer wore a black trench coat, standing straight in the wind and snow, dark, bottomless eyes staring coldly at Mo Xi. His thin lips were tightly pursed and pale, his jawline appeared sharper, and his brows were knitted in a pained arc.
Recognizing the familiar silhouette, Mo Xi’s heart skipped a beat.
He never imagined he would meet Pei Hao in such a place, in such a scenario. It felt like a dream, so unreal it was disorienting.
Snowflakes filled the sky, seemingly mixed with a myriad of thoughts, blurring the world in an instant. Just like that person’s eyes, hiding so many emotions that one dared not look directly into them.
The two stood facing each other in silence.
After a long while, Shane nudged Mo Xi’s elbow and asked curiously, “A friend of yours?”
Mo Xi froze for a moment, then tore his gaze away from Pei Hao. He shook his head slightly, whispered “No,” and strode forward without looking back.
The wind blew fiercely, and the snow fell harder, threatening to overwhelm everything, blending the world into a single color. Pei Hao felt every snowflake hitting his face like a sharp knife—silent, yet cutting him to the bone.
And Mo Xi’s calm “No” was the sharpest knife of all, searing him with a burning heat, leaving him utterly devastated.
He had intended to silently watch over Mo Xi, but seeing someone suddenly by his side, he finally couldn’t hold back.
He had so much to say—wanted to ask if Mo Xi was doing well, if he planned to return home. A thousand words reached his lips, but they were all defeated by that single “No.”
Pei Hao stood frozen, face pale. He didn’t know how much time had passed until the snow stopped and he snapped out of his trance. Sometimes fate is like a tide, rushing in from all sides, and as a player in the drama, he had no escape.
Throughout the “date,” Mo Xi was distracted and detached. Shane often had to repeat his questions before Mo Xi registered them.
Although Mo Xi had never shown much interest, this was the first time Shane had seen him so distracted. His intuition, honed over thirty years as a gay man, told him the relationship between Mo Xi and the man they met on the street was anything but simple.
He couldn’t help but want to get to the bottom of it.
“That man on the street just now,” Shane probed carefully, “looked at you very strangely.”
“Oh?” Mo Xi didn’t evade the question. Instead, he answered directly, “Ex-boyfriend. But we broke up a long time ago.”
Since he intended to be clear with Shane today, there was nothing to hide.
“Then he’s a very lucky man,” Shane sighed, his eyes fixed on Mo Xi, trying to catch every subtle expression.
“I used to love him very much, but he didn’t love me back then. After we broke up, I felt like I lost the ability to love.” Mo Xi smiled bitterly, lowering his head. The restaurant lighting was dim, obscuring his eyes, but Shane could detect a trace of sadness beneath his feigned nonchalance.
“That’s all in the past. We have to look forward,” Shane said, seeing Mo Xi look so lonely for the first time. He couldn’t help but comfort him, “You can still find plenty of love.”
Mo Xi shook his head wearily. That kind of unforgettable love—the kind that still ached more than a year later—was enough for one lifetime.
“Maybe, but not now.” Mo Xi looked up at Shane, cleared his throat, his eyes sincere. “Actually, I agreed to come out today to tell you in person: please don’t go out of your way for me anymore. I appreciate your concern, but I’m busy with school and work, and I don’t have room for anything else.”
Shane knew Mo Xi didn’t have feelings for him, but he had always attributed it to a lack of time together. He had thought today was a chance, only to realize Mo Xi just wanted to make his rejection clear.
Stunned by the rejection, Shane sat there for a moment, then nodded bitterly, realizing he really had no chance with the bright young man before him.
A moment later, Shane picked up his wine glass and looked at Mo Xi inquiringly. “I just got my heart broken. As a friend, will you have a few drinks with me?”
Mo Xi tilted his head and smiled. “Sure!”
It was evening by the time he got home. Mo Xi received calls from Uncle Li and his father. Uncle Li wished him a happy birthday, then his father asked why he had transferred the tuition money back to their account. Mo Xi made up an excuse and hung up. He ignored their subsequent calls.
Later, his sister called to ask if he needed anything. They chatted briefly about family, but the call ended quickly as she noticed he was distracted.
After hanging up, Mo Xi sat in his chair, replaying the encounter with Pei Hao. How could he appear at the school library entrance at that exact time? To run into him right as he got off work, on his birthday of all days.
With so many coincidences, if Shane hadn’t confirmed seeing him, Mo Xi might have suspected it was all a hallucination.
A thought faintly surfaced in Mo Xi’s mind: Did Pei Hao choose to appear on his birthday on purpose? Was he still thinking of him? But another voice quickly took over: It was all just a coincidence. Pei Hao had long forgotten about them.
Spinning in his chair, Mo Xi suddenly laughed at himself. Why did he still care so much? Pei Hao’s random appearance, a meeting lasting less than two minutes, had left him unsettled all day.
Had that man cast a spell on him, making him remember and pine for him for so many years?
Mo Xi lay on his bed, listless as a deflated balloon.
Life needed to be busier, more exhausting, to keep those unwanted thoughts at bay.
After returning to China, Pei Hao fell ill with a high fever. His forehead was frighteningly hot, and the fever persisted for days. Several times, Song Wanqin heard him deliriously calling a name.
“Do you think our son is in love?” Song Wanqin asked Pei Yixin, looking at the weak Pei Hao in bed. “I keep hearing him call for Xiao Xi.”
“How should I know?” Pei Yixin fumed at the mention of Pei Hao. He always left the company without a word, showing no maturity. If he hadn’t returned so sick, Pei Yixin would have disciplined him severely.
“No wonder he rejected all the matches we introduced. It seems he has someone he likes.” Song Wanqin touched Pei Hao’s forehead. Relieved that his temperature had dropped, she added, “We’ll ask him when he recovers.”
However, once recovered, Pei Hao feigned ignorance and refused to discuss any romance. But Pei Yixin was pleased to see a change in his son. He threw himself into his work, often staying late, and within three months, he had secured two major clients.
The whole company sang Pei Hao’s praises, giving Pei Yixin face before the executives. He decided not to pursue the matter of Pei Hao sneaking off to the US.