Chapter 25#

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-05-7 20:49:18

Today I finally received the offer from the first school, happy!

Wanted to tell you guys immediately~

Have books to read, haha~(￣€€￣)~

Wait and see if there will be offers from other schools!

Are there any little angels studying abroad? Can you tell me what to prepare in advance?

[1st Floor] Simba: Prepare money (€€_€€).

[2nd Floor] unbelievable,: Depends on where you are. In big cities, you don’t really need to prepare anything. If going to the village, bring whatever you can. Eating instant noodles might be a luxury there (don’t ask me how I know).

[3rd Floor] sharing: Congratulations Xiaoxi!

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[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-06-21 12:29:36

During the New Year, Pei Hao came to sit in the community downstairs of my house every day. When I went home, I heard neighbors discussing if he had brain problems.

Later one day my sister met him. She was puzzled: “Why haven’t you cut ties cleanly yet?”

I smiled speechlessly: “He won’t let go, what can I do… Call the police to arrest him? Sitting in the community is not illegal.”

My sister touched her chin, looking at me thoughtfully: “Does he come every day?”

I scratched the back of my head and said: “Not every day, about four or five days a week.”

“Do you really not like him anymore?” My sister asked again.

I paused, nodded, daring not look straight at my sister.

“Sigh, what a sin,” my sister shook her head and sighed, “Handle your own affairs, just don’t regret it later.”

Actually, a few times, listening to the wind whistling outside the window, watching pedestrians walking shivering, I almost couldn’t suppress the urge to go downstairs. But memories always pulled me back to the past. The year my mom passed away, he didn’t mean to accompany me actively during the New Year. Only after I sent a text message begging him did he agree to come and give me a few days of charity.

Whenever I think of these things, bursts of chill rise in my heart, immediately extinguishing the little flame that just emerged.

Don’t say I love to bring up old scores, because these things have never passed in my heart.

On my birthday, I received a super large box. Opening it, there were 25 packaged gift boxes inside (I am 25 years old this year). No name left, but no need to think, it must be sent by Pei Hao.

First time discovering he is such a stubborn person, indomitable, not retreating at all.

When my sister and brother-in-law came to my house, they were really shocked seeing so many gift boxes.

“Who sent them?” My sister looked at me and asked with a smile, “Is there a situation?”

I lowered my head, sipping my tea, and whispered: “Pei Hao sent them. The guard signed for them directly.”

My sister: “……”

My brother-in-law suddenly interjected: “How about you reconsider? I think he is quite attentive…”

My sister glared at him, and my brother-in-law shut up.

Plus the gifts he gave me before, there is no space in my storage room (Smile.jpg). So, I packed all the things he gave me and sent them to Pei Hao’s company.

A few days later he sent them back again. Just like kicking a ball, back and forth several times.

Until I couldn’t stand it and sent him a text message: Don’t send me things anymore!

Express delivery fee is very expensive, okay!

He replied: Xiaoxi, you actively sent me a text message (Happy.jpg). If you don’t like them, throw them away. Anyway, I won’t accept them.

So those things are still in my storage room now.

Before I prepare to go abroad, I will take them all to the orphanage or Hope Primary School to donate.

Winter slowly passed. When spring came, the number of times Pei Hao appeared downstairs at my house decreased.

I thought it was good. He finally got tired, and I didn’t have such a big psychological burden.

Later, when chatting with Jing Ling once, she said Pei Hao was competing for resources with XX company during that time.

Hearing this, isn’t XX company Jin Yu’s company (Laughing and crying.jpg).

I only hope they are purely competing in business, not because of me.

However, growing up so big, it was the first time Pei Hao was beaten into the hospital. I knew he wouldn’t let Jin Yu go so easily.

Even if he is willing, I guess his dad won’t agree.

I saw his dad once. On our graduation day, he wore a straight suit, standing unsmiling in the crowd, with a serious expression, looking like a ruthless character.

At that time, I was secretly worried for Pei Hao, how difficult it would be for him to come out in the future. Later I found out whether he comes out or not is none of my business. I thought too much.

His precious son was beaten until bones broke. How could he let that person go easily?

Unless he doesn’t know it was done by Jin Yu.

I didn’t care about this matter, and neither of them mentioned it to me, so I thought, it’s okay?

[1st Floor] Yu Lei: It’s right not to care about them. Useless to care.

[2nd Floor] €€ Gu sign: Agree with the person above. Xiaoxi don’t think you provoked these. You are the most innocent person! Being scumbagged by Pei Hao, flirted with by Jin Yu, splashed water by Cheng Yi, they provoked you actively. Why feel guilty!

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[22nd Floor] Username Loading Failed: I actually want to say the same thing as your brother-in-law (Cautious.jpg).

[23rd Floor] nsdk2039: I still hold a grudge about you forgiving Cheng Yi…

[24th Floor] [OP] Just Registered A Random Account: Didn’t forgive, just not that disgusted anymore.

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[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-08-6 22:07:54

Haven’t been back for a long time. Is everyone okay?

Later I received offers from two more schools. I have decided where to go. Will depart next week (Sprinkling flowers.jpg).

About last week, Cheng Yi suddenly sent me a text message, asking if he could apologize to me in person. How to say, I still don’t want to see him. Thinking of him, my direct physiological reaction is fear.

I refused him, and then he sent a large paragraph of text, roughly meaning sorry or something.

Actually, I didn’t care much. I’m leaving this place soon. I don’t want to leave with hatred. In my long life, he is not even worth leaving a name.

Moreover, his harm to me compared to Pei Hao is basically a drop in the bucket. Even Pei Hao I have let go, where do I have the energy to haggle with him.

I replied with a “hmm” that day, and then there was no more response from there.

Recently, Jing Ling and Geng Han got their marriage certificate. Very envious of them, can openly accept everyone’s blessings. I guess I will never get that little red book in my life~

Sometimes I feel we gays are like mice living in holes. Only when wearing a vest on the Internet do we dare to disclose our sexual orientation. In real life, we must be careful everywhere, dare not even hold hands on the street, and must hide well in the unit, otherwise don’t know which day will be reported because of this.

Envy you straight guys and girls!

The day before yesterday was my mom’s death anniversary. My sister, brother-in-law and I bought a large bouquet of flowers and brought some food mom liked to eat before to see her.

Unexpectedly, when we finished worshiping, a person came travel-worn in a suit, holding a large bouquet of white lilies in his hand.

Yes, the person coming was Pei Hao.

My sister looked at him in surprise, “Why are you here?”

Pei Hao nodded politely to my sister and brother-in-law, saying: “Come to see Auntie.”

I didn’t expect to see him here, or rather I didn’t expect he would still remember my mom’s death anniversary.

My sister looked at me awkwardly, then pulled my brother-in-law to walk out, saying: “We’ll go over there to look, you guys chat.”

After they left, Pei Hao didn’t speak.

He put the flowers in front of the tombstone and bowed deeply to my mom.

I looked at the photo on the tombstone and sighed: “You still remember.”

“Remember,” Pei Hao straightened up, his eyes dim, “Your saddest day.”

His leg healed long ago. That day he specially wore a very particular black suit, shaved clean, still that sunny boy when we first met.

A glimpse, like a lifetime away.

I found that since breaking up with him until now, I haven’t spoken to him properly. I always pushed him away and stabbed him with a resistant attitude. Carrying so many emotions, not like a person who has truly let go.

The weather that day was particularly good. Clear sky, gentle breeze blowing, occasionally carrying a little fragrance of flowers.

In front of my mom’s grave, I wanted to say goodbye to him amicably.

Pei Hao kept looking at me, light in his eyes. He mocked himself: “I thought I was early enough, didn’t expect you guys to be earlier than me.”

I didn’t take his words, but also turned to look at him, and said softly: “Pei Hao, I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?” A trace of surprise flashed in Pei Hao’s eyes. He asked incredulously, “Where to?”

“Do you think I will tell you?” I looked at him and smiled slightly, “Go to another place, start over.”

“When leaving?” Pei Hao looked at me with a sad face, as if I cut a hole in his heart.

I was silent for a moment, expressionless: “Recently.”

“Really can’t tell me where you are going?” Pei Hao reached out and stroked my hair. The wind blew the hair away at once. He said nostalgically, bitterly, with a hint of pleading, “Let me check the weather forecast there when I miss you, or look through pictures of that city.”

I smiled. After so long, don’t I know your thoughts? I patted his shoulder gently and persuaded him sincerely: “Let go, don’t come to find me anymore, forget me.”

“I can’t do it,” Pei Hao frowned deeply, biting his thin lips tightly, a trace of pain mixed in his lowered eyes, “You know I will find you.”

I looked straight at him, tone firm: “Then I will leave again, until you give up.”

His eyes were full of unmeltable frost, holding his trembling hands tightly and murmuring to himself: “Do you not want to see me so much?”

“Yes.”

I saw Pei Hao shook suddenly as if struck by something. The light in his eyes went out, as if his soul was taken away, staring blankly ahead.

“Finally, thank you for coming to see my mom.” I turned my back, waved my hand, and strode away towards the distance.

My sister saw me walking over, but her eyes were still staring in the direction where Pei Hao was, asking me in a low voice: “Is he crying?”

I turned back to look. In the backlight, Pei Hao covered his face with both hands, his body bent down, the black figure trembling constantly.

I replied lightly “don’t know”, and withdrew my gaze.

The wind suddenly became stronger. Sand was blown into my eyes, and accidentally my eyes turned red.

That night, I dreamed again of the time I first met Pei Hao.

Just because I looked at him one more time in the crowd.

However, five years passed in a hurry, like a white horse passing a crevice. We still couldn’t avoid moving towards separation.

What is the most painful thing in this world? Maybe a lifetime of loving but not getting.

What is the most relaxing thing in this world? Probably a moment of relief.

Pei Hao, goodbye. Never see again.

[1st Floor] agentsign: This is the final farewell, right?

[2nd Floor] Chang Wen: Oh my god, I want to go in and hug Pei Hao, what’s going on (Question mark face).

[3rd Floor] Ah Uncle: Pei Hao, sigh.

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[6th Floor] That Person That Flower That Dog: Congratulations Xiaoxi on starting a new life soon! Also, don’t worry about not getting that red book. In the future, you can get a white book, blue book in other countries…

[7th Floor] Kill Calculus: Yes yes, Xiaoxi be optimistic. This society is getting friendlier to gays.

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[28th Floor] Carrie: Come, hug Xiaoxi, our eyes are not red (Pat head.jpg).

[29th Floor] Ah San: Xiaoxi, promise me, don’t find a boyfriend in the trash heap in the future!

[30th Floor] Brother Ah Zhong: Right right right, remember to post on the forum when you meet a suitable person in the future. We will help you check.

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[37th Floor] Satan’s mango: Pei Hao is in agony.

[38th Floor] Scent Forest: Pei should have regretted until his intestines turned green, but there is no medicine for regret.

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[45th Floor] [OP] Just Registered A Random Account: In the past half year, thank you everyone for understanding and comforting me so much. You are really the little suns in my life. Bow to all brothers and sisters!

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