Chapter 2#

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-01-16 14:34:00

In the end, I really hate the character setting my mom chose for me when she gave birth to me: “crying out loud as soon as there’s a quarrel.” It’s not cool at all!!!

[1st Floor] Big White Is Confused: Hahahaha, reading this made me laugh out loud.

[2nd Floor] wnjh_0518: Your mom didn’t choose it for you, you chose it yourself when you were reincarnated.

[3rd Floor] [OP] Just Registered A Random Account: You upstairs, leave.

[4th Floor] wnjh_0518: Wow, Xiaoxi replied to me!!!

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-01-16 20:11:21

Objectively speaking, I’m not trying to whitewash A. He wasn’t that bad to me. There were even one or two moments when I thought we could grow old together.

My family situation is a bit complicated. My parents divorced when I was young. My dad went abroad ten years ago, and my mom lived in City X with my sister and me. In my senior year, my mom passed away from a sudden myocardial infarction. At that time, I felt like the whole world had collapsed. After crying for a few days, I was completely numb. I couldn’t eat, only drink water. I muddled through helping my sister, brother-in-law, and relatives from my mom’s side with my mom’s funeral arrangements. During that time, A stayed with me the whole time. He endured my inexplicable temper tantrums and tried every day to find ways to feed me. My sister probably knew about my sexual orientation. It wasn’t explicitly stated, but everyone knew it in their hearts. So she should have had a pretty good impression of A.

On New Year’s Eve that year, my sister took me to my brother-in-law’s house to celebrate the New Year. The family was quite lively. It’s just that my brother-in-law has too many relatives. I was particularly afraid of making small talk with a bunch of unfamiliar relatives. Everyone wanted to introduce me to a girlfriend, and it wasn’t good to stay at someone else’s place all the time during the New Year, so I found an excuse to go home on the first day of the Lunar New Year. In the past, during the New Year, my mom would make dumplings at home. Even if there were only three people in the family, we were happy. That year, I was alone. For the first time in my life, I experienced a strong sense of frustration and loneliness. I grew up, but before I could repay my mom, she was gone. This matter makes no sense.

However, many things in life make no sense.

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, I sat at home listening to the sound of firecrackers outside. I really wanted to see A. I knew B came back for the New Year. Their two families lived upstairs and downstairs from each other. A should cherish every day B was back. I don’t know why, but I really wanted to make a bet with myself, betting on whether A would come to see me. If he came, I won the bet, and I would be good with him in the future; if he didn’t come, then whatever, let’s just break up. Anyway, my mom didn’t want me anymore, he could be with whoever he wanted in the future.

I sent a text message to A, saying I was home alone, could you come and keep me company? There was no response for a long time. After waiting for about an afternoon, when I was almost about to give up, A replied, saying okay.

There is something magical about A. Whenever I had the thought of breaking up with him, as if he had telepathy, he would always do one or two things to rekindle my hope in him.

Couldn’t speak up, couldn’t do it, couldn’t break up.

A came to find me the next day and stayed with me at my house for two days. We didn’t do much, just bought groceries, cooked, watched TV, and played games. I even started to fantasize that after we graduated, we would live together, buying groceries, cooking, watching TV, and playing games like this for a lifetime.

Yeah, unrealistic delusions. Later C told me that if he really loved you, he wouldn’t just stay with you for two days and go back. He would have considered your situation before the New Year and wouldn’t have let you actively ask him to come and keep you company.

“If he liked you, he would have actively gone to keep you company the day before New Year’s Eve, understand?”

I understand, I understand now, but I didn’t understand then. At that time, I put myself too low. His two days of company were already an unexpected joy for me, a signal that I might be more important than B to him, enough to sweep away the gloom that had settled in my heart for too long.

[1st Floor] Watch Me Roll My Eyes At You: Baby, what’s going on? We haven’t started scolding yet and you’re busy whitewashing the scumbag?

[2nd Floor] YY Youjia: But he can’t be whitewashed… Hehe scumbag.

[3rd Floor] That Flower That Person That Dog: I’m not qualified to talk about you either. When I was stupid, I was exactly the same as you, sigh.

[4th Floor] wnjh_0518: I’m not listening, not listening, not listening (covering ears.jpg). OP, if you dare to forgive A, I’ll cry right here for you to see!!

[5th Floor] Meow Maoo: So does Xiaoxi only have his sister as a relative now? Sob want to hug (;€€€€€€Д€€€€`)

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-01-16 22:11:33

Answering everyone’s questions: 1. I didn’t say I was going to forgive A. Besides, between him and me, it’s not a question of forgiveness, but a question of love. Before, he didn’t love me, now I don’t love him; 2. Besides my sister, I also have a dad. My dad and I contact each other every month, it’s just that he only comes back to the country once every few years. Should I tell you guys that my dad is gay? Forget it, better not say it.

Continuing to write.

During the two years B was abroad, I thought I got along pretty well with A. Although occasionally he would stand me up for this or that reason, the frequency was much lower than before. He likes traveling. In those two years, we went to several cities. Someone like me who is so afraid of water even learned to swim and got a diving license with him. Occasionally, on a whim, he would also hug me in crowded places.

However, some things I realized later. For example, he never posted photos of just the two of us on social media. In photos with me, there would definitely be his other friends too. I used to comfort myself that he didn’t want to express his sexual orientation too obviously on social media. After all, this society still has a lot of malice towards gays.

Later, after I broke up with A, once I went out for a meal with one of his friends, and his friend accidentally let it slip: before B had a girlfriend, A posted many photos of just him and B. More than half of their high school knew that A liked B. Later, it seems they deleted them after a quarrel. But as far as I know, A saved all of them in his phone album.

So it wasn’t about A caring about other people’s opinions. He probably just felt that I wasn’t worthy, that’s all.

[1st Floor] YY Youjia: What? Xiaoxi Xi, what did you say your dad is?

[2nd Floor] I Want To Be The Man Who Becomes The Pirate King: Xiaoxi Xi, you’ve become bad, you’ve learned to keep us in suspense.

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-01-16 22:13:32

It’s getting late. I updated a lot today and I’m so tired. Thank you all for listening to my story. I’m slipping away first. Sleeping early makes good skin.

Good night (＾ω＾)

[1st Floor] wnjh_0518: Catching a Xiaoxi, not allowed to leave!