Chapter 13#

[OP] Just Registered A Random Account Posting Time: 2017-02-12 21:09:02

I sat on the bed, opened the iPad, and was almost blinded by the wallpaper on the screen.

It was a photo of me kissing Pei Hao on the cheek right after taking a big bite of ice cream, my mouth not even wiped clean. Both of us were smiling very happily. That time we went to the amusement park, and when we came back, I changed that photo to the iPad wallpaper.

The trouble I made myself, I have to solve it myself. I opened the iPad photo album, preparing to delete the photo. When Pei Hao noticed my intention from the side, he snatched the iPad and looked at me somewhat angrily, asking: “How much do you want to delete? You cleared everything on your Moments and Weibo, not even leaving a screensaver?”

I rolled my eyes at him: “Who’s to blame that you don’t save photos yourself?”

I suddenly thought of the pile of photos of him and Fu Yan in Pei Hao’s phone. Although it has nothing to do with me anymore, a chill suddenly rose in my heart. I turned my back to him facing the wall, not wanting to look at him, hoping he would get lost quickly, get lost to find his “white moonlight” and “cinnabar mole”.

“Saved…” Seeing my face change suddenly, Pei Hao’s tone softened. He put his hand on my shoulder, trying to turn my body back: “All saved in the phone.”

I closed my eyes, curled up into a ball, with no intention of turning back, nor answering him. Since I once saw a pile of photos of him and Fu Yan in his phone album, I never actively looked through his phone album again, afraid that one day I would suddenly find one I couldn’t accept, not knowing whether to make a scene with him or swallow the blood alive.

How could I be so cheap before? Even the most basic bottom line of love was gone, dignity was not wanted either. In love, always begging him to give a little bit of nutrients, grabbing a little bit of his charity tightly and refusing to let go, living like a clown exposing himself in broad daylight enjoying himself without knowing it.

Pei Hao didn’t understand why I suddenly ignored him, and asked nervously: “Really saved, I have backups of what you deleted.”

Saying that, Pei Hao opened his phone and handed it over, wanting me to look. I didn’t want to look at all. Your backup is your business. To me, these are plots I don’t want to recall even a bit, at least not now. When one day I can talk about it calmly, you will be at most a speck of dust on my heart.

I waved my hand forcefully, and his phone was knocked heavily onto the ground. No way, when my temper comes up, I can’t control myself.

Pei Hao didn’t care about the phone, but took off his shoes directly, squeezed onto the hospital bed, and reached out to hug me. I felt he was annoying to death. Not loving me but pretending to care about me. Doesn’t he just hope I can’t let go of him for a lifetime, enjoying the emotion of me being eaten by him and helpless? A fire inexplicably rose in my heart. I dodged his hand, kicked him hard twice, kicked him off the bed, pointed at him angrily, my hands trembling, and shouted loudly: “You! Now! Immediately! Get out for me!”

The little sister lying on the next bed looked at us in surprise, looking scared. Only then did I force myself to calm down, took a deep breath and exhaled.

Pei Hao sat stiffly on the ground, his face full of surprise. I used to have bad temper moments, but this was the first time I seriously shouted at him to get out so loudly, and in front of others. After a long time, Pei Hao slowly stood up from the ground, looking at me sadly, seeming to wait for a little comfort from me.

The old Xiaoxi wouldn’t treat him like this. The old Xiaoxi would feel heartache and reluctance seeing such a Pei Hao. But times have changed, things are different. I turned my head away and didn’t look at him again. The past needs no looking back.

“I’ll go buy you something to eat.” Pei Hao couldn’t wait for my comfort, lowered his head, and walked out lonely.

Only the little sister in the next bed and I were in the room. The atmosphere was a bit awkward. The little sister looked about ten years old, seemed a bit afraid of me, and quickly turned her head away pretending to sleep.

I smiled apologetically at the little sister: “Sorry, I scared you just now.”

“Ah, it’s okay,” the little sister breathed a sigh of relief, turned her head carefully to look at me, seeming to feel my expression wasn’t that scary. She then asked me hesitantly, “Did you quarrel with that brother just now?”

“Hmm,” I pondered for a moment: “Not exactly.” We call this breaking up, the kind that isn’t clean.

“Are you lovers?” The little sister blinked and asked me.

This sudden question caught me off guard. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. How come kids nowadays are so mature, can even recognize gay couples?

I shook my head. We are not lovers now anyway.

“But,” the little sister was puzzled, “When you were asleep this morning, he kept looking at you, just like my dad looks at my mom. Just now he even wanted to hug you.”

“That’s different,” I explained, “That brother just pities me, sympathizes with me.”

“Is that so?” The little sister still didn’t quite believe it.

I quickly changed the subject and chatted with the little sister about her parents and school. Her parents went to work and asked the nanny to bring her to the hospital. Now the nanny didn’t know where she went. Chatting and chatting, my emotions finally calmed down. But after Pei Hao came back, I still didn’t pay much attention to him.

Seeing me talking to the little sister all the time, he captured the little sister’s heart with a piece of cake, trying to participate in our conversation.

The little sister pointed at me and asked Pei Hao persistently: “Are you lovers?”

“Yes.” Pei Hao answered the little sister with a smile and gave her another piece of cake. I almost spat out a mouthful of old blood hearing this, glanced at Pei Hao, signaling him not to talk nonsense to the child.

“But this brother just said no.” The little sister took the cake and continued to pursue the truth in her heart.

Pei Hao whispered into her ear: “He is angry with me.”

I heard it, sneered coldly in my heart, didn’t want to participate in their conversation, picked up a book casually, and pretended to read seriously.

In the evening, I asked Pei Hao to go back. He refused to leave no matter what. I couldn’t beat him, so I had to let him be. Night had fallen deep. I closed my eyes and thought about what happened during the day. Honestly, I was a bit disappointed with myself for losing control of my emotions during the day. This shows that Pei Hao’s words and deeds still affect my emotions. I still feel angry and unwilling because of him. I still haven’t completely withdrawn from that past relationship.

They say it’s easy to fall in love but hard to forget. I don’t know how many days and nights those who truly loved have to spend for the rest of their lives to truly forget each other in the world.

If there really is a forgetting potion in this world, I would drink it without hesitation, even if I can never like anyone else again. Because I originally felt it’s hard to fall in love with someone again.

The next morning, after another two hours of IV drip, the doctor let me be discharged. Pei Hao helped me pack my things. When going out, taking advantage of no one noticing, he gently kissed me on the forehead. I pushed him away with disdain. The little sister sitting on the bed caught this scene, covered her mouth in surprise and giggled a few times, and even gave Pei Hao a thumbs up.

I think in the little sister’s eyes, Pei Hao and I should be a happy couple, just like her parents, always loving and occasionally quarreling. In my heart, I also have a trace of hope that this is just a dream I’m having. When I wake up from the dream, I’m still with Pei Hao. The difference is that he has always loved me, there is no such person as Fu Yan at all, and those suspicions and pains only exist in the dream. Then the sun shines on the bed, I hug him and act spoiled saying I dreamed you loved someone else not me, I was very sad. He would hug me comfortingly, saying those are all dreams, don’t scare yourself.

But reality is reality because it often hurts more truly than dreams. A few casual stabs, pulling you, making you face the bloody life extremely soberly. But without these setbacks and failures, most lives can only be like weightless clouds, light as a feather. Often only after experiencing the baptism of pain can the thickness of life be cast.

So sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, all kinds of life, all depend on oneself to experience.

Since that day, Pei Hao seemed possessed, often running downstairs to my house to squat and guard me. Then during the day, he often bought a bunch of breakfast and afternoon tea to send to our company. At first, my team members thought it was a parting gift for everyone because I was leaving.

But after a long time, everyone also felt something was wrong. How could he buy every day, and send both in the morning and afternoon.

So someone jokingly asked me if a girl was chasing me.

The colleague next to me added: Not necessarily a girl!

Me: ……

[1st Floor] Spring Light Burst: Seeing Xiaoxi say he feels it’s hard to fall in love with someone else again makes me a bit sad. Why dedicate the best love in life to a scumbag (Cry.jpg).

[2nd Floor] Heartless Cavernous Body: Xiaoxi, never ever lose confidence in love. Believe me, one day you will meet someone who truly loves you and knows how to appreciate you. You will fall in love with him, and then you will spend beautiful years together. Looking back at now then, you will feel that the current pain is worth it, and Pei Hao is just so-so.

[3rd Floor] Cai lovely: Heartache for Xiaoxi Xi.

…………

[14th Floor] Jing Ye ki: Didn’t Xiaoxi say he broke up with Pei Hao for more than half a year? Honestly, if Pei Hao is still chasing, then I believe he loves Xiaoxi.

[15th Floor] Ba La Ba Little Magic Fairy: So what if he loves? Where was he when he should have cherished earlier? A broken mirror cannot be rounded, the past cannot be repeated. Support Xiaoxi to dump him.

…………

[18th Floor] Hui Se Jiu: OP, have you ever thought that not every workplace allows someone to buy breakfast and afternoon tea to the company every day… What if you meet an acquaintance?