Chapter 124#
On An Wuxue’s side.
As soon as Pei Qian’s message was cut off, the two people sitting on the bed went silent once again.
One had a heart as messy as hemp, and the other’s heart was in utter turmoil.
Xie Zhefeng hesitated for a long time, not daring to speak. But as soon as An Wuxue moved his lips, the man grew anxious that An Wuxue would say something heartless, and said urgently: “Senior Brother, I remember everything. I shouldn’t have forgotten. It’s truly my fault that you hate me and loathe me. But I will never forget in the future. What I promised but didn’t fulfill, I will surely fulfill a thousandfold or ten thousandfold!”
He didn’t even dare to ask for An Wuxue’s forgiveness now.
Before, he only knew that he had caused his senior brother’s death.
Now that everything was clear, he realized that he hadn’t just caused his senior brother’s death. Before he succeeded as Xianzun, it was clearly he who first overstepped the bounds of being fellow disciples, yet he had forgotten everything after his senior brother fell in love…
What had he looked like in his senior brother’s eyes back then?
Releasing a hint of affection time and time again, but never receiving an answer.
Seeming to have feelings, but in reality having none; it would have been better to be completely cold from beginning to end.
Then he slew himself to ascend, a path he had chosen at great risk. He failed, and in the end, he couldn’t protect An Wuxue. He should have been the one whose soul was scattered.
Even if he wanted to remember his senior brother’s smiling face back then, he was now overwhelmed by guilt and pain, and didn’t have the face to say the word “forgive.”
He clearly wasn’t that set of dead bones from a thousand years ago, but his face at this moment was just as pale and unsightly as it was back then.
“It would have been better if I had failed the tribulation back then and died under the ninefold thunder clouds along with the inner demon…”
At least then, the inner demon wouldn’t have been able to kill his senior brother using his body and the Chu Han sword.
An Wuxue listened quietly. When he heard the end, his eyelashes trembled and his gaze paused.
His eyes reflected the white-robed man and the light of the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence, but it was as if thousands of stars were flowing in them—complex and ever-changing, yet brilliant and bright.
Before he could respond.
Xie Zhefeng said again: “I forgot that you once asked me for a snow lotus. In the Leaf-Viewing Formation, I thought that was the first time…”
He thought that after breaking the formation, he had gone back and forth between Northern Ming and Langfeng overnight and hadn’t broken his promise.
It turned out he was already a thousand years late.
Xie Zhefeng’s chest ached terribly, like a massive wave crashing down, making it hard for him to breathe.
“I’m sorry—”
An Wuxue suddenly withdrew his hand that Xie Zhefeng was holding.
Xie Zhefeng’s hand felt empty. Thinking that An Wuxue couldn’t listen any longer, he suddenly grew panicked: “Senior Brother—”
His voice paused.
“…Hmm?”
—An Wuxue’s knuckles were curled, and he had lightly tapped his junior brother on the forehead.
Just like back then, when Xie Zhefeng first entered Luoyue, he had tapped his little junior brother on the head and pretended to be angry as he made him call him “Senior Brother.”
Chu Han Xianzun hadn’t been treated like a child for a long time. Even his panic and confusion receded, and his expression instantly went blank.
An Wuxue looked at his junior brother seriously.
He had personally seen the past brought out by the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence, with mixed emotions, and hadn’t known how to face his junior brother just now.
Anger? Resentment? He hadn’t been swayed by these thoughts even when he was between life and death a thousand years ago.
He seemed to feel a bit aggrieved.
But this grievance came from a sourness in his heart, not from anger or blame. Because he couldn’t straighten out his thoughts, he hadn’t spoken recklessly for a while.
He hadn’t expected to hear such a jumble of nonsense before he even said a word.
He said crossly: “‘It would have been better if I had failed the tribulation’? Who taught you to think that way?”
Xie Zhefeng was dazed by the tap and was still in a stupor.
This man had been exceptionally handsome since childhood. Back then, before Xie Zhefeng had even entered Luoyue, even if the people of Langfeng City gossiped behind his back about Young Master Xie being a mute, they would surely add “but he’s exceptionally good-looking.”
But no one had ever dared to say that to Young Master Xie’s face.
Later, his junior brother became the Xianzun. This face, which would surely cause a stir in the mortal world, was covered by a distant and untouchable frost, and no one dared to look directly at it or discuss it anymore. No one remembered the gossip in the streets of Langfeng City a thousand years ago.
An Wuxue had also almost forgotten.
But now his junior brother had put aside his coldness and aloofness, sitting beside him without any defense, looking at him so blankly and dazed. He actually looked like a little disciple who had just entered an immortal sect, as if he would accept anything An Wuxue did to him and believe anything he said.
This man had ruled the four seas for a thousand years; how could he still be the same as when he first entered the sect? And how could he still say those words from just now?
If I told him to go and die now, and set off a world-class firework for me using the power of an immortal’s fall, would he actually go?
The person in front of him moved his eyes and suddenly said: “Okay.”
Only then did An Wuxue realize his thoughts were too messy, and in a moment of distraction, he had said what he was thinking aloud.
“You—”
“But can Senior Brother give me a bit more time? The person who has been impersonating Senior Brother and causing trouble in the four seas hasn’t been rooted out yet, and the puppet mark on Senior Brother is still there. Once I’ve killed that person and helped Senior Brother remove the puppet mark, I will—”
“You’ll what? You take even a joke seriously? Was that tap from just now not enough, do you want a second one?”
Xie Zhefeng was stunned. His eyes flickered, and he actually showed a look of expectation.
An Wuxue: “…”
He said: “Sit down.”
Xie Zhefeng sat down silently.
Only then did Kun-kun dare to make a sound, whimpering as it crawled between the two of them.
It glanced at An Wuxue, whose face was somber and whose eyes were a bit red, and then at the nervous Xie Zhefeng. In the end, it didn’t quite dare to pester An Wuxue at this moment, so it rolled into Xie Zhefeng’s arms.
Chu Han Xianzun sat holding his senior brother’s spiritual pet, as the man and the beast quietly listened to First Disciple An say: “Qi Xun told me that only the dead can find the Soul-Nurturing Tree. You never touched the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence, and he reminded me that I could use the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence to look at you.”
The man, who had a gentle face just now, suddenly had a cold expression: “I should have killed him a thousand years ago!”
“…I watched you ascend in the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence vision, and I was both sad and upset, and very angry.”
The man’s killing intent vanished, and his expression tensed again.
“But I’m not angry because of the nonsense you just said. I was thinking—did my junior brother think I was a waste who needed to hide under someone else’s wing and wait for the world to be at peace to enjoy a golden age?”
Xie Zhefeng’s pupils shook slightly: “I never thought of Senior Brother like that… I—”
“Then why didn’t you discuss it with me?”
An Wuxue’s nose felt very sore, and he wanted to cry but couldn’t.
Before, he hadn’t wanted to hate Xie Zhefeng or resent him because he didn’t want to waste his hard-won second life on meaningless things.
At that time, he could neither kill Xie Zhefeng nor truly place the two realms in danger for his own selfish desires, so he could only choose not to hold a grudge.
After walking through the Leaf-Viewing Formation and then the vision of the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence, he finally felt resentful.
He felt both distressed and angry.
He said: “Back then, both of us were at the peak of the Tribulation stage. I indeed didn’t feel the sense of ascension, but since you had the signs of ascension while your inner demon hadn’t been removed, why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I—”
“Am I as serious and cold as Master? When I taught you swordsmanship as a youth, when was I ever harsh with you? What would have happened if you had told me you developed an inner demon?”
“Senior Brother—”
“You only told me you were going into seclusion to ascend and asked me not to disturb you, trying to take on such a massive matter alone. I knew nothing at the time and was even waiting to congratulate my junior brother for breaking through his tribulation. Was I some mediocre talent who needed the protection of a Xianzun? Would a Xianzun discussing a strategy with me have broken his immortal path or lost his position?”
“No, I—”
“When I first woke up, I even blamed you—I felt that you possessed the two realms and could have whatever you wanted in the world. For the sake of so-called justice for the common people, even I died under your sword. You were already a Xianzun admired by everyone; how could you still feel there were unsatisfactory things in the world, develop an obsession, have an inner demon, and fail the common people?”
Xie Zhefeng’s breath hitched: “I’m sorry—”
“Only later did I learn that your inner demon had existed for so long. When I watched you ascend in the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence vision, your inner demon had already occupied the majority of your sea of consciousness. I’m afraid you already had an inner demon while you were still in the Great Success stage, right? Not only was this inner demon not rooted out, you even nourished it to take the risk of Slaying the Self, right? Taking such a perilous gamble… was it because I was busy running around back then to set up the Four Seas Myriad Sword Array and neglected you, to the point where you wouldn’t say a word about taking a life-or-death risk to ascend?”
“Senior Brother didn’t—”
“Pei Qian said you’re a person of few words, and he really wasn’t wrong. Nurturing an inner demon, splitting your soul, and extracting your Sword Bone all by yourself—you didn’t let me know a single word. You’ve really grown up, Xie Chuhan.”
“…Wuu!” Even Kun-kun began to chime in.
As An Wuxue spoke so bluntly to Xie Zhefeng, it no longer mattered how sad or pained Xie Zhefeng felt.
He could feel his senior brother’s grievance.
He really wanted to explain, but An Wuxue didn’t seem to want to hear his explanations or apologies.
He felt as if his thousand years of life had been wasted; he was so clumsy with words.
“Senior Brother, don’t be angry…”
At this moment, several message talismans drifted over from under the plum tree outside.
But these message talismans were not for An Wuxue.
An Wuxue’s divine sense expanded slightly, and he detected the aura of Xuan Fang and other Luoyue Peak disciples on the message talismans.
One had been breaking a curse here, and the other had been watching a vision; they had been behind closed doors for a long time. Xie Zhefeng was, after all, the one in charge of Luoyue Peak and the Xianzun of the two realms. Various matters after the Northern Ming trouble hadn’t been resolved yet. After he had been gone for only a day, those message talismans were vibrating frantically like a death sentence.
Xie Zhefeng just looked at An Wuxue, appearing to want to say something more.
An Wuxue said: “Go handle your official business. I’m irritated just looking at you right now.”
Xie Zhefeng’s face turned pale.
He didn’t want to leave.
His senior brother had so much dissatisfaction with him, and he hadn’t even had time to explain everything.
But looking at An Wuxue’s unpredictable expression, he didn’t dare to make his senior brother even unhappier.
He stood up reluctantly and walked toward the sphere of golden light condensed from the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence floating nearby.
“What is that?” An Wuxue looked at the sphere.
He remembered being in the vision just now, watching Xie Zhefeng slay himself to ascend, and the vision showed no signs of stopping.
He had planned to continue watching, but was sent out by Xie Zhefeng.
When he opened his eyes, this sphere had just formed, and it seemed to be related to the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence vision.
Xie Zhefeng explained: “I saw Senior Brother was stuck in the vision and couldn’t come out, so I extracted the remaining vision. There’s nothing worth seeing. The power of the Soul-Nurturing Tree essence is good for miasma beasts; I’ll just feed it to Kun-kun as a snack.”
He raised his hand, looking ready to feed the light ball to Kun-kun.
An Wuxue frowned and stopped him: “So this is the remaining vision? The past of a tree essence is only a blink of an eye; why did you have to forcibly separate my divine sense from the vision?”
“…The Soul-Nurturing Tree essence reflects life and death.” Xie Zhefeng’s voice paused.
An Wuxue was even more confused: “I know that.”
“A living being’s life starts from birth and goes until their vitality is extinguished, while their death starts from their vitality being extinguished until their soul is shattered.”
An Wuxue understood.
Xie Zhefeng was still technically “alive” until now, yet he had also died. So this man’s “death” was from the moment of his ascension a thousand years ago until now.
If he hadn’t come out, the vision could have continued to unfold for another thousand years.
An Wuxue directly used his spiritual power to take the light ball into his spiritual bag and said: “Such a long vision, what if you overfeed it? I’ll feed it slowly when I have time.”
“Wuu wuu…”
Xie Zhefeng seemed somewhat hesitant.
He wanted to take the light ball back.
But An Wuxue’s anger hadn’t dissipated yet, and Xie Zhefeng didn’t want to refuse him.
After hesitating for a moment, he could only say: “Then I’ll go handle official business first. If Senior Brother needs anything or wants to say anything, feel free to send me a transmission.”
“…Hmm.”
Only then did Xie Zhefeng leave dejectedly.
He walked into the courtyard, opened those message talismans and listened to them. With a stir of spiritual power, he appeared in the courtyard of the City Lord’s Mansion that had been vacated for the Luoyue Peak disciples.
“Xianzun!” Xuan Fang and the others saluted.
Xie Zhefeng didn’t respond for a moment.
He had been thinking about what An Wuxue had said, and suddenly seemed to vaguely understand something.
He murmured: “Senior Brother is unhappy…”
Xuan Fang was the closest and looked surprised upon hearing this, saying cautiously: “Did the Xianzun make the First Disciple unhappy?”
Wasn’t that always the case?
But Xie Zhefeng repeated: “Senior Brother is unhappy…?”
Xuan Fang: “?”
The next moment, Chu Han Xianzun’s eyes suddenly lit up, and he said joyfully: “Senior Brother scolded me just now.”
Xuan Fang: “Oh… eh? —Ah?”