Chapter 57#

After saying this, Zhao Rong turned around, picked up the scarf Zhao Ming had just knitted for him this morning from the sofa, put on his coat, and walked to the backyard.

Before he opened the door, there was no sound in the room except for the noise of his walking.

Qiao Nanqi seemed to have been standing in place without moving.

He walked into the small courtyard and sat directly on the steps.

In the backyard, only a few evergreen plants still had some color at this moment. Other than that, this square inch of space was no different from the rest of the world—gray and desolate.

It was quite dull and chilled one’s bones and blood.

But this was exactly what Zhao Rong needed right now. He sat there, slowly closing his eyes, and gradually calmed down in the chill.

The moment he finished saying those words, he realized he was unsettled.

It wasn’t wavering or softening, but a subtle, indescribable tremor and vigilance.

Like a small sailboat finally able to sail on a calm sea after a storm, suddenly hit by a wave sweeping from ahead, using all its might to steady itself.

But Lu Xingping was right; harboring likes and dislikes is what leads to losing one’s composure.

He sat here, head slightly tilted back and eyes closed, taking several deep breaths.

The cold air only filled his lungs, yet it could cool his heart.

In the sky, some bird seemed to break through the vast expanse, letting out a pleasant, long cry.

The wind rustled.

Zhao Rong opened his eyes slightly, watched the trace of the bird passing through the clouds, and let out a long sigh.

— Deep winter is almost here.

If this bird doesn’t fly away soon, it will freeze to death in the cold and vast world.

He was just about to close his eyes again when a shadow fell before him.

The man stood behind him, gently draping a coat over his shoulders.

He heard Qiao Nanqi say in a low voice: “You’re afraid of the cold; go inside. If seeing me inside upsets you, I can stay out here.”

Zhao Rong looked down at the garment that had just landed on him.

This time, he didn’t take the coat off.

He thought that since Qiao Nanqi was no longer as excessively pushy as when he first left, they could actually return to the state he had originally hoped for—parting on good terms.

Just as ordinary friends.

He said: “Qiao Nanqi.”

The man behind him seemed to bend down immediately, “Hmm?”

“Do you remember what I told you? You might have, from beginning to end, from our breakup until now, just suddenly been actively rejected by someone one day, so you’re just driven by a desire to win.”

“I don’t—”

“Don’t be in a hurry to refute me; I haven’t finished speaking yet.”

Sure enough, Qiao Nanqi stopped talking.

Zhao Rong continued: “Or rather, what you want isn’t for us to be together; what you want is to return to the state where someone was good to you. It’s also possible you just don’t have a satisfactory person to satisfy your needs. These can all mislead someone who has just broken up—though I actually think we can’t even be considered to have broken up.”

Perhaps sensing the approaching storm in Zhao Rong’s words, Qiao Nanqi rarely didn’t immediately refute or argue.

He only said: “Zhao Rong, what do you want to say?”

“We can’t keep wearing each other down like this. How about this: two choices.”

“One… I haven’t satisfied my needs in a long time either. If it’s just about satisfying needs, you’re actually quite good. If you truly are just obsessed with ‘what cannot be obtained,’ I’ll follow you to your house now, and we’ll do it once.”

“I’ll satisfy your needs and fulfill this obsession for you. You save me some worry, and from now on, we’ll act as if we have a deadly feud and never see each other again. You go east and I’ll go west. Wherever you are, I won’t go even if I die, and wherever I am, I’ll trouble you to avoid it.”

“Never to see each other again until death.”

Behind Zhao Rong, Qiao Nanqi was already stunned in place.

“Two,” Zhao Rong continued, “we part on good terms and act as ordinary friends. For the rest of our lives, we’ll just be ordinary friends. There’s no possibility between you and me.”

He sighed, quietly waiting for the reaction of the person behind him.

After a long while.

That voice, which was always deep and sharp, now faintly hid some desolation.

“You gave me two choices… both choices mean there’s no possibility.”

“Yes,” Zhao Rong confessed without hesitation.

One was just a bit more aggressive, and the other a bit gentler.

He couldn’t possibly give Qiao Nanqi a third possibility. If he gave it now, for the rest of his life, the person who would daily love humbly, fear the other being unhappy, endure things being the same as before, and watch this person go to Lu Xingping every day would still be him.

“Then I’d rather keep wearing each other down.”

“But I don’t want to anymore. You take a step forward, and I take a step back. Even if we walk millions of steps, the distance will be the same. This kind of thing has no meaning at all.”

Qiao Nanqi was already on the verge of being unable to stabilize his emotions.

Zhao Rong’s words nearly made him lose control.

He had thought that Zhao Rong wearing the coat he had just brought out was a sign of softening attitude, but he didn’t expect the subsequent words, though appearing calm and gentle, were actually sharp word by word and cruel sentence by sentence.

The first choice…

His gaze fell on the back of Zhao Rong’s neck.

Wrapped in the fluffy scarf, only a bit of fair skin was exposed, making one unable to resist wanting to lean in and leave a mark.

With just this one glance, he was enough to think of those past intimacies, and the way Zhao Rong’s cheeks were slightly red as he looked at him with half-closed eyes.

After Zhao Rong left, he dreamed of holding him in his arms again.

But it was impossible for him never to see Zhao Rong again until death. Right now, if he just thought that one day he would suddenly never see Zhao Rong again, he would find it hard to breathe.

Grit his teeth, he tried his best to suppress his emotions and said: “Friends. I said just now, you can just treat me as a friend who comes to visit your mother.”

Zhao Rong was slightly surprised.

He actually thought Qiao Nanqi would immediately choose the first one.

After all, in the past, he was the “underground lover” whom Qiao Nanqi could call upon and dismiss at will. Even when he met Qiao Nanqi at the company, it was mostly when doing that thing.

“Okay.”

Qiao Nanqi, however, continued: “But you have to give me a chance. Zhao Rong, just one chance. I’m not asking for anything else, okay? You don’t have to give me a chance to pursue you, and I don’t expect you to agree to get back together now, but even just giving me a chance to be good to you is fine. You don’t need to give me any reaction…”

As he spoke, his suppressed emotions gushed out like a rebellion.

At some point, his voice became tinged with a sob, and it actually grew raspier and raspier.

“You’ve seen it, I’m changing. I was a real bastard before; I deserved it all. But now, I’m learning, I’m changing… I won’t cause you any trouble, and you don’t have to return anything to me. Just let me be good to you, let me love you.”

“You should at least leave me the right to unrequited love.”

“We still have…”

A possibility.

He seemed to want to say this phrase. But for some reason, as he spoke, he felt an unconscious sob hidden in his voice.

Too pathetic.

He had never exposed weakness before others, nor could he do something as pitiful as seeking sympathy.

He had his pride and dignity; he simply didn’t want Zhao Rong to see his current state.

Qiao Nanqi stopped speaking.

Zhao Rong rose slowly, without turning around to look at Qiao Nanqi.

He originally wanted to tell Qiao Nanqi he was getting married, but after thinking about it, he remained silent. Saying it now, in case it brought trouble to Lu Xingping before the wedding, would ultimately be bad. Lu Xingping had already helped him a lot.

Since Qiao Nanqi had already chosen to be friends, he would treat him as such. As for this person now… if he wants to be like this, then let it be. Anyway, after persisting for a few days, or even break-the-precedent months, he’ll give up once he finds there’s no hope.

At that time, when he and Lu Xingping hold the wedding, Qiao Nanqi will know regardless. No matter what he thinks now, he should completely let go then.

In any case, they’ve reached the end of their wearing each other down.

Telling him these things now, he might not listen anyway; Zhao Rong was too lazy to waste his breath.

He turned and went into the house.

This time, the person outside the house became Qiao Nanqi.

After entering the house, Zhao Rong discovered that Zhao Ming was already awake and sitting on the sofa, continuing the handicraft she hadn’t finished this morning.

“When did you wake up? Are you hungry?” Zhao Rong walked to her side.

She smiled: “Just now, then I saw you and your friend outside and didn’t disturb you.”

It seemed she hadn’t been awake long.

Because the caregiver wasn’t there today, Zhao Rong asked Zhao Ming what dishes she wanted to eat and called the nursing home to ask them to help prepare them.

After a while, Qiao Nanqi came in.

his eyes seemed a bit red, but his expression had already calmed down, showing no emotion.

Zhao Ming asked him if he wanted to have lunch together. He looked at Zhao Rong’s face, shook his head, and walked away slowly.

Zhao Rong didn’t even see him off.

In the following days, perhaps after containing those emotions upon returning, when Qiao Nanqi came to the nursing home again, he appeared quite normal on the surface, as if he were truly a friend like Fang Zhuoqun coming to visit.

Young Master Qiao was after all Young Master Qiao. When Zhao Rong wasn’t around, he was as composed as ever. Plus, with his extraordinary manner of speech, he could follow whatever Zhao Ming or the caregiver said. Only when Zhao Rong came would he always look at Zhao Rong’s face before acting.

Zhao Ming seemed to like him a bit and was quite willing to chat with Qiao Nanqi or do those handicrafts that were actually of no benefit to Qiao Nanqi and were just for passing time.

Zhao Rong felt he had made things very clear to Qiao Nanqi, and Qiao Nanqi had also chosen to be friends.

Even if there’s still some obsession now, by the time of his wedding with Lu Xingping, who’s to say Qiao Nanqi won’t be full of the thought that Lu Xingping is getting married, and the obsession with him will be not worth mentioning.

Thinking this way, he also let Qiao Nanqi come to accompany Zhao Ming; anyway, Zhao Ming was quite happy. It’s just that when he came to see Zhao Ming, he never bothered to pay attention to Qiao Nanqi.

Moreover, he indeed didn’t have that kind of spare time anymore.

He had to handle the trivial matters of the wedding and obtaining the legal relationship.

While he learned about the wedding specifications Old Madam Chen had originally required from Lawyer Lin, he began preparations based on these requirements. At the same time, he had to prepare the materials and documents for going abroad and chat with the newly contacted Zhou family about his investment in Zhuxi at that time…

Amidst the miscellaneous tasks, some time slipped by again.

Time flew.

The past ten years were but a flash in the pan day by day, and now the swaying of time struck the pendulum one by one, taking away minutes and seconds that could not be chased back.

After several consecutive sunny days, Yang City suddenly turned overcast. After one night, flying snow arrived unknowingly along with the starry night.

As the first ray of daylight broke in the morning, the world was already vast and white.

After Zhao Rong woke up, he stayed in bed for quite a while before rubbing his eyes and getting up.

He had nothing much to do today; the biggest thing recently was handling the wedding.

He contacted several wedding agencies and gained a bit of understanding about various wedding styles, wanting to find one that was suitable and met the requirements of the will.

In the past when he was with Qiao Nanqi, the longer time passed, the more he knew it was impossible for them to have a wedding, so much so that he never had extravagant hopes for it later, and naturally hadn’t understood it from beginning to end.

After the agreement ended and he left Qiao Nanqi’s house, he also knew he seemingly couldn’t summon the courage to start a new romance for the time being, even feeling he would be alone for the rest of his life.

He hadn’t expected to suddenly get involved with a wedding under such circumstances.

Zhao Rong felt a bit of irony.

This thing was quite complicated. He had only made several phone calls to contact different people, and almost the whole morning had passed.

As he listened to those steps and preparations, there wasn’t a trace of ripple in his heart; he just treated it like work.

Naturally, he was exhausted after listening.

He rested for a while and walked to the window to take a look.

The newly installed security things didn’t have any reaction. These past few days had been quite peaceful; Chen Jingnian’s driver had only come that one night and he hadn’t seen him since.

Was he really being too vigilant?

He withdrew his gaze and drew the curtains.

Just as he was about to eat and take a nap, Xu Xin called him.

He yawned and picked up: “Brother Xu, I’m not going out today, no need to pick me up.”

“It’s not about the pickup. Xiao Zhao, the matter on Ruan Cheng’s side, I followed the direction you said and found some clues.”