Chapter 66 - 2#
Chi Gui laid his heart out to Jing Shun, the shadows in his eyes deepening into an impenetrable gloom, mixed with an unshakable guilt.
“Baby, but I was still wrong.”
“…”
They gazed at each other in silence, yet Jing Shun suddenly understood—he understood everything.
He wrapped his arms tightly around his lover. “Chi Gui, my accident wasn’t your fault. Don’t feel guilty about it, don’t think you owe me something!”
“…”
No.
That wasn’t it.
It was his own arrogance that had made him miss so much—and caused Jing Shun to endure so much chronic hurt that he never should have suffered.
Chi Gui didn’t know how to express the guilt and regret weighing on him. He simply turned his head and rested it in the crook of his lover’s neck. “I’m sorry.”
Jing Shun stroked his back. “Don’t say sorry to me. You saved me.”
Without Chi Gui’s appearance, he wouldn’t have recovered so smoothly. After all these years, it was Chi Gui who made him feel loved again.
Only today did Jing Shun finally understand—
Why Chi Sheng clearly didn’t like him, yet still pretended to confess his feelings. And the “revenge” he’d spat out before dying in their past life—that was aimed at Chi Gui all along.
Perhaps Chi Sheng had long seen through Chi Gui’s feelings for him, and resented that Chi Gui had taken everything that belonged to the main branch. So he used so-called “love” as a cheap form of retaliation.
Jing Shun couldn’t imagine how Chi Gui must have felt in that past life, harboring such feelings for him, only to see him “together” with Chi Sheng.
Wouldn’t that have hurt?
Jing Shun hesitated. “Chi Gui…”
Chi Gui pulled back and confessed completely, apologetically. “Baby, not telling you that I was ‘Song Yu’—that was my fault.”
“It’s just that after all these years, I’ve gotten used to hiding a lot of things. And I was afraid that once you knew about my feelings, you’d feel burdened.”
From the very beginning, Chi Gui had placed heavy shackles on his own emotions. The only one who held the key—who could unlock them—was Jing Shun.
Chi Gui brushed his nose against his lover’s. “I’m really happy you’re willing to be with me.”
Jing Shun felt how much he cherished this. He answered seriously, “So whether you’re Chi Gui or Song Yu, I just like you. I like you so, so much.”
Rather than dwelling on a past that could never be reclaimed, Jing Shun wanted them to take every step forward together.
“Chi Gui, we’re lovers. We should be honest with each other and trust each other. When you’re with me, you don’t have to be the group chairman or the head of the Chi family—you just have to be yourself.”
“When you’re unhappy, you can tell me you’re unhappy. When you’re stressed, you can share the pressure with me. Even when you’re jealous, you can just say, ‘I’m jealous.’”
“Good or bad, I’ll take every feeling you have seriously.”
“…”
Chi Gui didn’t answer, but Jing Shun knew he was listening.
He called out, “Chi Gui.”
The man in front of him gave a muffled reply. “Hm?”
Jing Shun switched to another name. “Song Yu, I know you’ve been through a lot alone all these years. But from now on, I’ll be with you. And I want you to be with me too, okay?”
Chi Gui’s gaze deepened as he looked at Jing Shun. In the end, he couldn’t hold back the impulse inside him. He turned his head and kissed him. “Okay. I’ll be with you, and you have to be with me.”
No one is allowed to back out!
“Mm.”
Jing Shun willingly accepted the kiss and responded.
Chi Gui kissed gently. His hand at the back of Jing Shun’s head brushed through soft hair, and his calloused fingertips slowly traced downward—over his earlobe, along the side of his neck.
That long-missed tingle of numbness surged back.
Jing Shun felt as if the fever he’d just shaken off was rising again. Every place his lover touched burned.
Outside, it seemed to be raining again. The moisture in the air seeped through the cracks into the room, and a mist gathered in Jing Shun’s eyes. He instinctively clutched Chi Gui’s shirt, their mingled breaths growing heavier.
Neither of them knew whose breathing faltered first. The gentle kiss turned forceful.
The rain outside beat faster against the window, matching the wild pounding of their hearts.
“…”
Chi Gui pulled his lover down onto the bed, still keeping control.
The warm light from the bedside lamp enveloped both their figures. Chi Gui swallowed every broken sob that escaped Jing Shun’s lips, occupying every one of his senses—
Just before things spiraled out of control, he stopped.
Click.
The only light at the bedside was switched off.
In the darkness, only their breathing and heartbeats thundered.
Jing Shun swallowed unconsciously. He couldn’t see anything, so he had to rely on touch to find his lover. “Chi Gui? Song Yu?”
Hearing the two names one after another, Chi Gui let out a low laugh and bit his lip.
Jing Shun let out a muffled sound. “Huh?”
Chi Gui lay down and pulled him into his arms. “Be good. No more playing around. You just got over a fever. You need rest.”
Jing Shun’s breathing hadn’t fully calmed. He pressed closer into Chi Gui’s embrace and noticed that even through the fabric—
His lover’s body temperature was terrifyingly high, muscles taut.
As a man, Jing Shun guessed what was going on. He whispered, “Don’t you want it?”
“…”
Chi Gui paused for two seconds.
In the past, he might have acted tough or brushed it off in silence. But Jing Shun’s request from earlier still echoed in his ears.
His lover wanted him to be himself, to face all his joys and sorrows head-on. So Chi Gui tried to be honest. “I do. Very much.”
No one could stay unmoved in front of the person they loved.
Chi Gui kissed Jing Shun’s forehead, all his impulses reined in by reason. “You overexerted yourself today, and you just broke a fever. I can’t let my selfish desires get the better of me.”
Chi Gui knew his own temperament and possessiveness well enough—
Once some long-suppressed desires were unleashed, he wouldn’t be able to stop easily.
In the end, the one who’d suffer would be Jing Shun.
His voice was hoarse, but he didn’t forget to warn him. “When your back injury and legs are a hundred percent healed, I’ll properly collect everything I’ve missed these past few times.”
Jing Shun understood his own physical condition too. Some things really couldn’t be rushed. He enjoyed his lover’s thoughtfulness, but he was also a little worried.
“Doesn’t it hurt you right now?”
“…”
In the darkness, his shyness vanished.
Jing Shun took the initiative and reached out. “Let me help you?”
Chi Gui’s breath hitched. He already knew the answer. “What are you doing?”
Seeing that Chi Gui didn’t stop him, Jing Shun grew bolder and began to move recklessly.
To be honest, he had almost no experience in this area. His technique was clumsy and inexperienced, but the breathing beside him grew heavier and heavier.
At one point, Chi Gui’s hand around Jing Shun suddenly tightened. Listening to his lover’s rare, erratic heartbeat, Jing Shun stopped.
A few seconds passed. Chi Gui’s hoarse voice carried an unusual hint of embarrassment. “I’ll get a towel.”
Jing Shun let out a low laugh, a little proud. “Did it feel good?”
Chi Gui paused. “Whether it felt good or not—don’t you know?”
Jing Shun was honest. “I really have no experience.”
Sure, during his teenage years, he’d had a few vague dreams in his sleep, but he could never remember those ambiguous fragments. Waking up only felt awkward.
After starting college, he focused on improving himself and had even less time to waste on such things.
Then, the accident left him with a back injury that affected not only his legs but also completely killed his interest in that area.
At least, psychologically.
Thinking about it, Jing Shun whispered his theory to Chi Gui. “I think—I’m just not interested in that kind of thing. I’m meant for a platonic relationship!”
“What?”
“But it’s okay. In the future, if you want it, I’ll cooperate. As long as you’re happy.”
“…”
Chi Gui almost couldn’t keep up with his lover’s train of thought. After a moment, he smiled knowingly. “Platonic? Not interested?”
Jing Shun affirmed, “Mm, nine times out of ten… Mmph!”
Before he could finish, Chi Gui kissed him square on the lips.
Jing Shun was left dizzy by his lover’s superior kissing skills, his head spinning. He didn’t even notice when Chi Gui started moving under the covers.
The dampness of the rainy night enveloped him completely. After a long while, the bedside light came back on.
His peach-blossom eyes glistened with pitiful moisture. Jing Shun watched his lover get out of bed, dazed and hazy.
Chi Gui went into the bathroom, rinsed his mouth briefly, then came back with a towel. Gently, he cleaned up his disheveled lover.
He took out a spare blanket from the cabinet, lay down again, and wrapped Jing Shun back in his arms.
Slowly, Jing Shun realized what Chi Gui had just done to him. His entire face turned bright red. “What was that for? I didn’t ask you to do that.”
Chi Gui turned the question back on him. “Did it feel good? Still not interested? Still want a platonic relationship?”
“…”
Jing Shun said nothing.
He buried his face in Chi Gui’s chest, savored the moment for a long time, then took back his bold words. “Forget I said anything.”