Chapter 23#
Very Happy#
The puppy’s head, wearing a mushroom, peeked over quietly.
Li Heng: “Shh.”
The system knew, and hid its loudspeaker.
Pudding the puppy used its large ears to cover its mouth and its wet, dark nose.
Li Heng lowered his head bit by bit. Ji Landong was sleeping quietly in his arms, his breathing steady, his pale brows very relaxed. Li Heng adjusted his own breathing, fearing his heartbeat would disturb Ji Landong.
A soft mushroom pillow grew under Ji Landong’s head, and a puppy foot-warmer grew at his feet.
Li Heng looked at the system.
Their relationship was actually a bit subtle. The system was too nervous and uneasy, very alert—overly alert, always wanting to bite anyone capable of harming Ji Landong.
But these days they had indeed gotten along very well, and Li Heng and Ji Landong were also very good.
Li Heng… was also very good.
And now Li Heng’s eyes were silently trembling.
The trembling was due to fear. After being intoxicated by an unexpected fortune, the first emotion to appear is often not joy, but fear.
Because he couldn’t believe it.
Because he was worried everything was an out-of-control hallucination of his obsession.
An empty dream.
The system was silent for a while, and the mushroom pillow finally held up a warning sign from the ambulance: “I heard it too.”
The system even checked the recording and video playback several times.
For a few seconds, Li Heng still didn’t speak. After all, it was necessary to judge whether “asking a mushroom pillow that holds up signs for help” was itself a sign of madness.
But in the end, he surrendered and closed his eyes.
Li Heng lowered his head with his eyes tightly shut, his trembling lips quietly pressing against Ji Landong’s hair. He didn’t dare use too much force with his hands, and he tried his best to keep his breathing soft and slow.
Ji Landong used the same shampoo as he did, but Ji Landong’s scent was like that bit of pale, moist, cool mist by a forest pool late at night.
It allowed lingering, allowed staying; even if you wanted to embrace a cloud of mist, it was very simple—just open your arms.
But there was one thing you had to know.
It was mist.
Once the sun came out, it would disappear.
…
Li Heng raised his hand and gently stroked Ji Landong’s back through his cotton loungewear.
The sensation in his palm was clear.
Under the soft fabric was a person who, though thin, definitely truly existed.
The person sleeping soundly was even a bit disturbed, burying his pale, slightly cold side-face into Li Heng’s neck.
Li Heng stopped bothering him. The system, quite considerate and versatile, dimmed the lights, picked up all the puppy fur, and sent the unfinished cake ingredients through the air into the refrigerator.
When the system’s data bar, which had panted as it circled the cabin three times, dragged a quilt back, it found the two of them already sleeping comfortably in each other’s arms.
Pudding was also happily asleep with his front paws covering his face.
The system, not to be outdone, squeezed into Ji Landong’s loungewear. It wanted to find the best place to protect Ji Landong, wanting to run to the left side of his chest, but suddenly felt something was wrong.
The system suddenly raised its mushroom cap.
…Ji Landong was awake.
Li Heng didn’t notice. On the surface, he seemed to be the most stable and composed one in the house, but in fact, both his body and mind were at their breaking point. The system had often seen Chief Li speeding alone to the investigation bureau’s prison to deal with those bastards to relieve stress.
Now, seeing Ji Landong sleeping well, that string suddenly loosened a great deal, and Li Heng also needed to crash and sleep.
…So Film Emperor Ji’s level of acting hadn’t slipped even a bit.
Even someone as skilled at catching thieves as Li Heng was easily lulled to sleep.
The system stared blankly at the Ji Landong it hadn’t seen in a long time.
Ji Landong gently curved his eyes, greeting his friend.
His pale fingers, which had become a bit warmer but were still very thin, gently stroked the mushroom. The touch was so soft it almost made the mushroom drop its loudspeaker and cry silently.
The system eagerly looked into Ji Landong’s eyes.
These eyes were tired and quiet, with a very clear and gentle gaze.
It wasn’t fake; one could tell he was happy. A thin layer of mist calmly covered the old scars that hadn’t healed over the years.
The system couldn’t quite control its data bars: “Ji Landong.”
“Ji Landong.” The system tightly held his hand, “Ji Landong, are you uncomfortable? Are you any better? I don’t know what to do. I miss you so much, I miss you so much. Are you willing to come back? I’m afraid you’ll be in pain.”
The system stammered: “I’m… very happy, I’m super happy to see you again.”
Ji Landong indicated that he was also super happy to see the system again.
The system laughed through its tears: “Liar, you’re only a little bit happy. Your ‘happiness’ hasn’t been repaired yet.”
Ji Landong wrote slowly: Is that so?
Ji Landong hadn’t quite remembered how to speak yet. He had been silent for too long, so long that his throat had forgotten how to make sounds.
But he still gently squeezed his mushroom friend to apologize; he truly thought he was already very happy.
He was also a bit surprised, but it was only a very faint bit. “Surprise” hadn’t been repaired either. All the vivid, clear emotions that make one feel the world has color and that they are alive hadn’t been repaired; they were much harder to fix than the body.
Ji Landong teased it: Wow.
Ji Landong wrote: You’re suited to be a mushroom.
Ji Landong patiently and slowly drew two mushrooms squatting together.
The system mushroom was indeed tickled and laughed, then ran to Ji Landong’s eyes, jumping and playing with him. They played until Ji Landong was truly tired, the faint color on his face fading, and weariness showing in his slightly curved eyes.
The system suddenly made a decision.
“Ji Landong.”
“You… listen to me.”
“You make the plan. If you don’t like people, we can run away overnight.”
The system was an ambulance now. Ignoring its conscience and sorry to Li Heng, it had to prioritize protecting Ji Landong: “We’ll drive the car with Pudding to play in the snow, eat steamed buns, do whatever you want.”
If Ji Landong didn’t want to deal with “people” anymore, the system completely understood. Saying this was indeed sorry to Li Heng… but five years ago, within a very narrow timeframe, Ji Landong also thought he would be happy.
Ji Landong once wanted a home, and he had tried.
The result was almost dying.
So if Ji Landong didn’t want to try again, it should absolutely not be his responsibility.
The system would first take Ji Landong out to eat steamed buns, and then sneak back in the middle of the night to play “I’m sorry” ten thousand times at full volume with its loudspeaker for Li Heng.
After Ji Landong had lived a happy and peaceful life for ten years, after his scars had faded and healed, and after he could completely and calmly start over—if at that time Li Heng still hadn’t changed his mind, the system would find a way to help Chief Li on his quest for love…
The system was stroked by Ji Landong and accidentally flattened into a mushroom pancake.
Ji Landong slowly wrote to it: “I.”
Ji Landong stopped for a brief rest, then continued: “Don’t have that much time.”
The mushroom really wanted to cry: “You do!”
“You do! You can live as long as you want!” The system was about to cry, really about to cry, not just scaring its friend, “Ji Landong, your body will get better, do you believe your friend?!”
The system swore it would definitely fix Ji Landong’s “happiness” and “surprise.” It didn’t know how to fix them, but it would definitely find a way.
—Not by using some fleeting replacement module, but a real, abundant, full feeling, like the overflowing sensation of tightly hugging Pudding the puppy.
Ji Landong should live to his heart’s content like that, and then decide how long to live.
Ji Landong nodded: “Okay.”
The system thought Ji Landong looked very sincere, but it didn’t actually believe him. However, Ji Landong was very tired; having been in a coma for so long, it took much more strength than before to gather his mind and spirit.
He was staying awake just to wait for the system to return.
Ji Landong wanted to greet his friend.
The system regretted it and quickly covered Ji Landong’s eyelids: “Sleep.”
“See you tomorrow.”
The system whispered: “See you tomorrow, Ji Landong.”
Ji Landong promised to see it tomorrow.
Li Heng, sensing the chill, unconsciously tightened his arms, wrapping the person in his embrace with the blanket and quilt.
Out of habit, he felt for that hand and held it in his palm until the pale, icy fingers slowly warmed to his body temperature.
They slept on the sofa like this until dawn. Early the next morning, Li Heng almost woke up with a start from the faint morning light. His chest was heaving, his heart was racing, and he hesitantly raised his eyes, only to meet the eyes that were quietly watching him.
…
…
For dozens of seconds, the entire cabin was silent.
Li Heng raised his hand and gently stroked Ji Landong’s hair, unable to look away. He was rooted in Ji Landong’s eyes, as if voluntarily sinking into this soft, quiet mist.
Li Heng whispered: “Ji Landong.”
Ji Landong looked at him, his eyes slightly curved. Li Heng didn’t know how long Ji Landong had been awake.
But Film Emperor Ji, who had spent some time practicing, had recovered the ability for simple communication: “Shall we kiss?”
Li Heng was a bit surprised, then smiled.
He nodded, but didn’t actually do it. He just hid Ji Landong in his arms, encircling him tightly, his cheek pressing against Ji Landong’s forehead, stroking his back again and again.
Li Heng stroked the corners of his eyes, held his shoulders, carefully lifted him up, and watched him with full concentration.
Watching.
Li Heng also asked him: “Shall we eat spare rib steamed buns?”
Ji Landong slowly shifted and tilted his head up. This posture was unfamiliar—at least his consciousness, waking from a deep sleep, wasn’t used to it. The area below his left ribs was painful from being pressed.
Chief Li’s private residence had a very good view. You could enjoy the sunrise just by lying on the sofa. It seemed to be in the far suburbs near a forest.
It didn’t seem like a place where you could easily buy steamed buns.
Ji Landong looked out the window for several hours. The colors of the sunrise were deep blue and blood orange spreading from gold, very rich and beautiful, then these colors seemed to dissolve in water.
The entire sky bit by bit became a blue that was almost painful to look at.
The sun was very bright, the weather was getting warmer, the birds were chirping energetically, and the snow outside the window was about to melt.
Ji Landong guessed it would melt completely within a day.
Li Heng raised his hand and waved it in front of the eyes that were unconsciously spacing out, very skillfully promoting his home workshop: “I’ll make them. We’ll eat steamed buns today, with sweet millet porridge. We’ll go walk Pudding in a bit, and I’ll stew a fish tonight.”
Ji Landong seemed very attracted and interested.
Li Heng carefully picked him up.
His movements were very slow, stopping to wait for a while after each step, letting Ji Landong lean against his shoulder.
Li Heng held Ji Landong’s hand and asked softly: “Are you still dizzy?”
Ji Landong came back to his senses from looking out the window: “Hmm?”
Li Heng smiled and rubbed Ji Landong’s hair. He had spent the first 99% of the winter alone, and he was already very different from the Chief Li who protected witnesses. For example, he now knew exactly how easily Ji Landong got dizzy.
For example, he always remembered to hold Ji Landong’s hand.
He cupped Ji Landong’s shoulders, touched his cool forehead, and carried him to the wheelchair.
Ji Landong had been in a coma for too long. Although his legs had received thorough and meticulous massage and the muscles hadn’t atrophied too severely, he still needed practice to walk again.
Li Heng knelt in front of the wheelchair and patiently explained to him.
Ji Landong knew: “Li Heng.”
Li Heng: “Hmm?”
Ji Landong pressed his own legs; he couldn’t quite feel them. This body also seemed to be melting in the warm sun: “Can we still play in the snow?”
—He was originally going to say “thank you” and “sorry for the trouble.” After all, long-term, tedious massages, twice a day without interruption, are actually very exhausting and draining.
But Chief Li probably didn’t want to hear that.
“Of course,” Li Heng promised readily. “With Pudding? A: with, B: without.”
Ji Landong hadn’t considered the “without” option and was a bit curious, tilting his head up.
“Different intensities.”
Chief Li gave a professional explanation: “Playing in the snow with Pudding, you might be dragged all the way through the forest, fall into an icy lake, and knock out a fish. Then we’d carry the fish and the dog home and think about which one to stew first.”
Li Heng wasn’t a good joke-teller, but he had an appreciative audience.
Ji Landong laughed softly, but then choked on the cold air, coughing as he moved his fingers to hold the puppy that was trying to burrow into his arms to escape the accusation.
The melting snow was always colder than the falling snow.
Melting snow absorbs heat, so this kind of weather feels like a trap. Even though the sun is so bright and clear, almost scorching, the air is so cold it feels like it could freeze everything.
Li Heng’s movements were very neat as he helped him change into thick, warm clothes. This time, thinking ahead, he added a pullover sweater and heat pads to his chest and back.
Completing these actions wasn’t easy; Ji Landong needed to leave the wheelchair frequently.
Li Heng carried him steadily on his back.
It wasn’t hard.
It wasn’t hard at all. Li Heng showed him: just hold one hand around his shoulder, and with a little effort, it was as if Ji Landong could stand up and tidy the hem of his down jacket.
Ji Landong slowly wrote an ‘A’ on Li Heng’s back.
A: with, B: without.
Li Heng turned around, held Ji Landong, and carefully placed him back in the wheelchair, confirming the choice: “With Pudding?”
“With him,” Ji Landong spoke up for the puppy, holding a furry little paw. “I’ll lead him.”
Film Emperor Ji thought for a moment and didn’t miss the previous joke: “I’ll catch the fish.”
A smile appeared in Li Heng’s eyes, much like Ji Landong’s. He nodded, then raised his hand to stroke Ji Landong’s hair and carefully added a knit hat.
He pushed the fully-equipped Ji Landong out to play in the snow.
This was the start of a happy day.
The snow didn’t melt as easily as imagined. Inside the house, Ji Landong’s view was limited; he could only see a tiny bit of snow on the windowsill. But outside, there was actually a large expanse of white.
This kind of snow, which had melted a bit from the sun, was very sticky.
It was perfect for making snowballs.
And having a snowball fight.
The system had been preoccupied and hadn’t shown up much all morning, but it couldn’t resist the temptation and joined the heated battle between Chief Li and Pudding.
Ji Landong was given a loudspeaker and was responsible for judging wins and losses and taking sides unfairly.
Ji Landong equally hoped that everyone, every mushroom, and every puppy in the house would win.
“If everyone wins, then everyone loses!” The system was surrounded and immediately brought out its ultimate weapon, the ambulance parked in the yard. “I’m going to cheat! I’m really going to cheat!”
The ambulance did a burnout on the spot, kicking up snow, and the falling snow instantly reversed the battle.
Ji Landong coughed from laughing.
He couldn’t sit steadily, his body leaning to one side. He briefly lost consciousness for a few seconds. When he woke up, he was being held steadily by Chief Li.
Li Heng looked at him quietly, his arms protecting him firmly, as he gently touched the corners of his eyes where some moisture from coughing had appeared.
Ji Landong curved his eyes and calmly stuffed a snowball, which he had prepared since before the battle started, into Chief Li’s collar.
Li Heng: “…”
This time, the loud laughter and barking came from the ambulance and Pudding the puppy.
This bit of liveliness was very infectious in the icy world.
They played to their heart’s content. Before they were frozen through or caught a cold, they rushed back inside to warm themselves by the fire. By then, many small birds were already peeking and hopping around outside the window.
Li Heng produced a small raspberry cheesecake pancake from the oven. Ji Landong took it, placed it on his lap, and ate it with a small wooden spoon, quietly sharing it with the mushroom and the puppy who were dying for a taste.
Chief Li put on an apron and was cooking porridge.
Ji Landong wanted to feed the birds and turned his wheelchair to lightly knock on the kitchen door.
Li Heng naturally agreed, placing a handful of golden millet into Ji Landong’s palm.
The two of them coordinated with held breath, not to scare the birds away, as they slowly pushed the window open a small crack.
Ji Landong reached his hand out.
The snow on the windowsill hadn’t finished melting; it even seemed to have become a bit thicker.
Ji Landong’s hand didn’t have much strength. After holding it for a while, it was pressed down onto the snow by the fluttering birds. His pale hand was slightly cold, his knuckles turning red.
Li Heng wiped Ji Landong’s hand with a wet wipe, using the excuse of warming his hand to lightly kiss the icy fingertips.
Chief Li was too impatient; he ran over when he was only halfway through kneading the dough.
A flour mark appeared on Ji Landong’s sleeve. He looked at it for a while, then asked for a golden acrylic marker and drew a sun with a golden outline.
…
The birds watched this family through the window.
They ate spare rib steamed buns.
They drank porridge.
The millet porridge with ten spoonfuls of sugar was sweet enough to make Chief Li’s brain stop working, but it suited Film Emperor Ji’s taste. As for the large spare rib steamed buns, the bones really weren’t removed, so one had to spit them out oneself.
They were delicious.
Truly delicious, fragrant, the bun skin was juicy, the spare ribs were cooked just right, rich and savory. Even though they were scalding, one couldn’t help but want to swallow and then take another bite.
They even drank a little very refreshing volcanic blood orange sparkling wine.
With ice cubes, clinking, and of course mixed with a lot of syrup, then garnished with some bright green mint leaves.
The system couldn’t hold its liquor and fell asleep, scattering a bunch of colorful little mushrooms. Pudding the puppy had been too wild today and was lying by the wheelchair, sleeping with all four paws in the air.
Ji Landong still seemed very happy.
He stroked Pudding’s head. The puppy immediately cheered in its sleep, pawing at the air as it burrowed into Ji Landong’s arms, whimpering about the grievances it had felt during this time.
He covered the system mushroom with a small towel as a blanket. The system tightly held his hand and cried: “Ji Landong, you must be happy, you must be happy.”
Ji Landong patiently promised: “I’m very happy.”
The system continued to be a drunken mushroom with peace of mind.
When Li Heng finished tidying the dining table and returned to the sofa, he saw this scene.
Ji Landong was leaning in his wheelchair, quietly watching the mushroom and the puppy. He was very thin, his side profile still pale, but those eyes, which were about to be submerged by a tide-like weariness, were still stubbornly gentle.
Stubborn, like snow that refuses to melt, struggling and extremely tiredly resisting, melting a bit slower.
A bit slower, he didn’t want to freeze his friends.
Ji Landong heard the footsteps.
He slowly raised his head and saw Li Heng. It was as if he had woken from a certain state and wanted to curve his eyes again.
But Li Heng said: “Ji Landong.”
Chief Li was someone who didn’t understand romance, didn’t know any nicknames, and didn’t know how to say many soft words.
But each time Li Heng said “Ji Landong,” it was different.
Li Heng walked to the wheelchair and half-knelt, looking up. Ji Landong reached out and gently touched his face. For some reason, he didn’t manage to smile.
Li Heng reached out, carefully carried him out of the wheelchair, protecting his head and neck, his lips pressing against his thin eyelids.
Ji Landong wrote in his palm: Very happy.
Li Heng tightened his arms.
He closed his eyes forcefully for a moment. He didn’t know what to say, so he could only repeat: “Ji Landong.”
Li Heng repeated this name again and again, looking seriously into those eyes until, as if by some invisible, extremely careful force, the bandages were cautiously unwound, revealing old scars that were still seeping blood.
Ji Landong looked at him.
Ji Landong couldn’t speak at this time.
Li Heng gripped this hand very tightly.
It was the first time he had seen such a look in Ji Landong’s eyes—wanting to be happy, wanting it so much, but being unable to do so, almost like a plea for help.
Today had indeed been very happy. Ji Landong thought so too. Because he thought so, he was troubled by why, why he still wanted to leave at the end of the day, why after that slightly tipsy, drunken-like relaxation, it was as if his fuel had been exhausted.
Ji Landong opened his mouth several times.
Li Heng waited for him patiently, not rushing at all, until Ji Landong could make a sound: “Li Heng.”
Ji Landong asked him for help: “I can’t smile.”
Li Heng knew. He held Ji Landong, repeatedly stroking his neck: “It’s okay, it’s okay, Ji Landong, I know.”
In Ji Landong’s current thoughts, “making the mushroom and the puppy feel at ease” was the strongest driving force.
Or perhaps “making the mushroom, the puppy, and Li Heng feel at ease.”
He didn’t know, Li Heng thought, and it didn’t matter.
Li Heng never thought that part was important. Pursuing Ji Landong was his business. The part Ji Landong needed to do was consider: A, agree; B, disagree—Ji Landong could choose A or B, or even choose C, and leave him to wander the world.
What mattered wasn’t that at all.
It was a healthy Ji Landong.
Li Heng could see. He knew Ji Landong was still resisting the temptation of that icy river. He noticed that Ji Landong had been looking at the snow outside the window, fearing it would melt in a day.
All day, Li Heng kept sneaking out of the cabin to pile new snow on top.
Li Heng stroked the corners of Ji Landong’s eyes, which were unconsciously trembling—or perhaps it was his own hands that were trembling. During this time, he had found many doctors and consultants.
He planned that when the snow melted and the weather got better, he would take Ji Landong back to the city for proper treatment with medication and counseling.
This wasn’t a hurdle that could be overcome just by “having great willpower.”
So Chief Li used his borrowed authority: “Ji Landong, I went to learn something, do you want to hear it?”
He said: “I learned the steps to being happy.”
Ji Landong was indeed attracted, his eyes moving slightly as his gaze turned toward him.
But Li Heng didn’t immediately continue.
He pulled Ji Landong into his arms, an reckless embrace that seemed to want to hide him in his chest. He kissed Ji Landong’s eyes, the pressure very light, like raindrops. Ji Landong’s eyelashes trembled weakly.
He took Ji Landong’s hand and gently wrapped it behind his own back, letting the two of them hold each other thoroughly and tightly.
Ji Landong’s chest suddenly trembled.
Li Heng was warming his heart.
“I heard,” Li Heng said, “for a person to be able to smile when they’re happy.”
“They have to… be allowed, allowed by themselves.”
“They have to know first.”
Li Heng said: “It’s okay to cry when it hurts.”