Chapter 19#
Don’t Touch Him#
Li Heng didn’t have time to answer.
No time. Ji Landong was resting his head on his arm, very relaxed, looking very comfortable.
But the light in his eyes scattered blankly.
Li Heng heard his own voice trembling: “Ji Landong?”
“You should try it.”
Li Heng said: “Try it, the buns are delicious.”
He touched Ji Landong’s face, his fingertips trembling as he brushed his eyelashes. Ji Landong didn’t react. His pupils showed a dull, overly uniform black. When Li Heng picked him up, his slender back arched backward.
Li Heng protected the back of his head, jumped out of the car, threw down his work ID, and jumped onto a motorcycle.
Li Xingyun wasn’t the only one in the world who could ride a motorcycle; the traffic enforcement motorcycle was just parked there. The detective who saw the work ID immediately cleared the road, coordinated guidance, and switched the traffic lights along the entire route.
The engine roared.
Li Heng twisted the throttle to the maximum. He tried to continue discussing travelers, hunters, and snow with Ji Landong, discussing Ji Landong’s best efforts, discussing buns.
Discussing twelve years ago, he guessed there must be a parallel world, maybe they were the parallel world, they were the story.
Maybe in the real world, he crossed the moonlight to embrace Ji Landong.
Maybe he became Ji Landong’s accomplice.
“We seem very familiar.” Li Heng tried to imitate Ji Landong’s reasoning, “Don’t we? Perhaps in a real world, we accidentally lived together for twelve years.”
Perhaps in the real world, whatever Ji Landong did, he was there with him, for good things and bad. Ji Landong’s psychological problems had a long history, and even if he was taken from that attic, he would need slow healing.
Then heal slowly.
Li Heng would, of course, stay with Ji Landong.
They would have twelve years, plenty of time, to slowly fill that overly vast, silent void.
He would take young Ji Landong to see doctors, to psychological counseling, for as long as it took, for as many times as needed.
Ji Landong didn’t like people, so they would go hiking in valleys and forests, and maybe find a pond under the moon, and meet a deer by the pond.
Li Heng would remember to do things cleanly enough when he killed Ji Ran.
He would accompany young Ji Landong to grow mushrooms, raise a dog named Pudding, and eat pork rib buns on the way to walk the dog… No, that’s too monotonous. He would learn how to stew a pot of warm, delicious soup, how to make tooth-achingly sweet desserts, how to light a fireplace. He would learn tomorrow.
Ji Landong could be responsible for drawing idly on the condensation on the window.
When Ji Landong was better, he could go play in the snow.
Li Heng spoke until his throat was hoarse and congested. He had to maintain enough volume; the engine’s roar was too deafening, and snowflakes splattered on both sides of the tires.
The cold was bone-chilling.
Ji Landong was in his arms.
His head was bowed, very quiet and unresisting, his forehead resting gently against the hollow of his neck.
That small patch of skin slowly grew cold.
The tires hit a reflective patch of ice, and the direction instantly went out of control. Li Heng let go of the motorcycle handlebars, rolled on the spot with Ji Landong in his arms, not caring about the motorcycle that slid away.
His back hit a tree trunk heavily.
Li Heng tightened his arms, and a strong smell of blood filled his mouth.
He felt himself trembling violently, not from pain, but because of Ji Landong. He placed Ji Landong on the snow, checked his carotid artery, his breathing, and then quickly pulled open Ji Landong’s down jacket.
He leaned down and listened for a few seconds, then began chest compressions.
Ji Landong lay quietly on the white snow.
Snowflakes fell into his slightly open eyes, melted, and turned into a trickle of moisture.
…
…
Li Heng looked at those eyes.
For a moment, he was in a trance, wondering what was the right thing to do. He hesitated and stopped his hands, his numb fingertips stroking the eyes that had forgotten to close.
Ji Landong seemed to have ended his torment.
It seemed to be over. Ji Landong was no longer in pain, no longer needed endless, ridiculously bitter medicine, no longer needed to distinguish between hallucination and reality.
Li Heng whispered: “…Ji Landong.”
He picked up Ji Landong, who was covered in snow, holding him in his arms, holding his breath. More snowflakes fell, landing on Ji Landong’s eyelashes.
Li Heng lowered his head and slowly melted them with his lips. Ji Landong’s eyelashes were long and thick.
He began to think about Ji Landong’s epitaph.
The reason it was up to him to consider was that he would most likely monopolize this place. Li Heng was certain that for the rest of his life, he would probably only live alone with a dog named Pudding who hated him, live to a very old age, and then finally die, carrying flour, pork ribs, and a rolling pin, rushing to rub against a young grave.
The communicator at his waist suddenly crackled with static.
Li Heng snapped back to reality.
There was a timestamp on the communication device. He thought this moment of distraction had lasted a long time, but in reality, only a few seconds had passed.
It was his subordinate detective contacting him. They were lucky. Although they were still some distance from the nearest hospital, half a kilometer away, there was an empty ambulance that had broken down due to the blizzard and was temporarily left there.
The people on board had been transferred, but the equipment was still there, with medicines and an AED device.
Li Heng looked down at Ji Landong, who seemed comfortable.
He held Ji Landong’s hand, gave a bitter smile, lowered his head and kissed his bloodless lips, supporting his soft, drooping head and neck, carefully sending air into him.
A few seconds of interruption could be compensated for.
Li Heng pressed down on the cold, silent chest. Ji Landong was so thin that there was no excess flesh left; his ribs pressed against his palm, and his outstretched arms quietly embraced the wind and snow.
Li Heng tirelessly pressed that heart, coordinating with the air he sent in. He realized there was an undeniable paradox in the whole affair—only a living Ji Landong himself could answer whether he had accepted the invitation of death at that moment, and Ji Landong had not left any clear message about his attitude.
“Are the buns delicious?” could hardly be considered valid information.
So Li Heng chose recklessness and selfishness. He presumptuously assumed, without permission, that Ji Landong wanted to eat pork rib buns.
So Ji Landong had to come back to life first.
Come back to life.
Live a truly comfortable life.
Enjoy some time he had never had before.
Then, slowly, calmly, and unhurriedly decide whether to cross that dark, icy river.
…
After pressing the last breath into his chest, Li Heng picked up Ji Landong and ran half a kilometer through the snow, which was very difficult. He fell a few times, and night had already fallen.
Li Heng carried Ji Landong and jumped into the empty ambulance.
He gently placed Ji Landong on the emergency stretcher.
To use the defibrillator, he had to temporarily let go of the hand that hadn’t yet warmed up.
Ji Landong’s chest trembled under the electric shock, sharp needles pierced his skin, adrenaline was injected into his body, and continuous chest compressions pulled at his drooping, slender wrist bones.
Li Heng was like a precise, emotionless machine, performing resuscitation exactly according to remote instructions. The electrocardiogram showed a faint fluctuation. Li Heng stroked Ji Landong’s hair, gazing at the unconscious face beneath the oxygen mask.
The sky grew darker.
The wind howled with snow. Li Heng closed the ambulance door and sat down.
The news from the communicator was not good.
Rescue could not arrive tonight. The blizzard was still raging, roads could not be cleared, and the extremely severe weather conditions prevented even emergency helicopters from taking off. The temperature might drop below minus thirty degrees Celsius at night.
Li Heng should leave the witness here, try to keep the life support system running, and evacuate himself.
—This was the more high-sounding way of putting it.
In fact, the ambulance’s battery was low, and the fuel tank was empty. Only one of the ventilator, oxygen concentrator power, and heating system could be maintained.
Li Heng had to leave quickly, otherwise.
Li Heng hadn’t considered this possibility: “Will the two of us freeze to death together tonight?”
The detective was very flustered: “No, no, team leader, just evacuate as soon as possible…”
Li Heng indeed hadn’t considered this possibility.
Too impulsive.
He wasn’t a hothead anymore.
The emotion of dying for love was too intense; he couldn’t do something so reckless, besides, he had already promised to get a dog…
“My home—” Li Heng corrected himself, “The witness, Ji Landong’s home, has a dog.”
He said: “You guys take care of it.”
An uneasy silence fell on the other end of the communicator.
Li Heng found an excuse for them to report: “I broke my leg.”
Of course, it was nonsense. How could he run half a kilometer through the snow with a broken leg while carrying someone? Li Heng promptly cut off the communication to avoid more troublesome explanations, threw away the communicator, and propped himself up to look at Ji Landong.
He lowered his head and pulled at the corners of his mouth.
“Damn it.”
Li Heng whispered. He fumbled around in the not-so-spacious area for a while, finally managing to lie down himself and hold Ji Landong properly in his arms.
…This time, it was reversed. Although it felt so brief, as if he had only held Ji Landong for a second, the night outside the car was already pitch black, and a blizzard raged.
But Ji Landong looked comfortable.
That was good.
Li Heng raised his hand and stroked the peacefully sleeping eyebrows and eyelashes. The car door rattled in the wind. He tried to tempt Ji Landong to bet, betting whether the delivery knocking on the door was a death invitation or buns.
Li Heng bet it was buns.
Cold wasn’t always a clear sensation. People accustomed to cold would forget they were in a snowstorm.
Li Heng swore he would remember for Ji Landong in his next life.
“Ji Landong.” Li Heng suddenly had a headache, “What about the dog?”
“Will Pudding chew on the sofa?”
“Will they walk Pudding properly?”
These questions shouldn’t bother Ji Landong. After all, it was Team Leader Li who boasted about getting a dog, and it was also him who named it.
But in life, you just make conversation.
And Ji Landong’s invisible friend, logically, Li Heng should take care of him. Li Heng was happy to help, but the main problem was that he couldn’t see this friend.
But who knows, maybe they would fall asleep and wake up together, and then they would both see him.
Li Heng kissed Ji Landong’s eyes.
The night sent cold air into the car.
The life support system ran out of its last bit of power, the warning red light struggled to glow, then suddenly went out.
Ji Landong was held very tightly.
He was like a block of ice, his chest pressed in vain, his ribs feeling like they were shattering in his palm… This body finally trembled weakly in pain.
Li Heng dared not use any more force.
Li Heng lowered his head, staring blankly, his eyes finally turning red. He wiped away the extra water on Ji Landong’s face.
“Ji Landong.”
Li Heng whispered, his hands beginning to tremble violently, almost unable to grasp the scarred, slender wrist. His fingertips couldn’t feel a pulse, and all his forced composure seemed to collapse suddenly: “Ji Lan…”
He lost his voice, opened his mouth, tried repeatedly, but only felt a burning, excruciating pain.
Li Heng looked down at Ji Landong.
How much pain had Ji Landong been in all these years?
He didn’t know. Ji Landong was about to die.
Everything was messed up. It couldn’t be worse. Ji Landong’s bodily functions were completely ruined, he had crashed the car, was forced to lie in the damned ice and snow, his chest collapsed, and there was a small abrasion on his forehead.
But Ji Landong still seemed comfortable.
His forehead rested soothingly against Li Heng’s trembling neck, his eyelashes covered, coated with a thin layer of white frost.
The heart monitor gradually turned into chaotic waves.
Why was there frost?
Li Heng blankly kissed these eyelashes, thinking that although the car was cold, there was no snow, so snowflakes couldn’t fall into Ji Landong’s eyes.
Li Heng repeatedly recalled that he had only said Ji Landong could draw whatever he wanted on the window when he was cooking.
He had only scared Ji Landong, saying he would put a snowball down Ji Landong’s collar.
What else had he said?
While he was rambling on and on, without him realizing it, something flowed from Ji Landong’s eyes and froze into frost.
Li Heng held the person in his arms. He wanted to ask Ji Landong, he slowly stroked the thin eyelids, coaxing them to open, staring blankly at the scattered, empty pupils.
…………
…Then.
The instrument struggled to light up, then again, emitting electric sparks.
The AED emergency device, which had long run out of power, lit up again.
The heating struggled to operate.
“No, no… no, it’s wrong, it’s broken.”
The system desperately pulled at the car door, stumbling to report, refusing this story to be accepted: “I’m broken, I’m a bad mushroom, a bad system, you’re not allowed to touch him.”
“Don’t touch Li Heng, don’t touch Pudding.”
“The redemption value is fake, fake, a lie.”
“He can’t leave, he hasn’t lived a good life, not even for a day. He’s in a lot of pain, he hasn’t gotten better at all. He’s pretending like this, all to keep his friend from being sad.”
“He’s the best liar, the softest-hearted bastard.”
The system tore apart its own data, throwing it all on the ground, proving itself to be a completely broken, inaccurate, trash system: “He’s not comfortable.”
“You… don’t touch him.”
“Don’t…”
“Ji Landong… was not redeemed.”