Chapter 06#

Because I’m Scumbag#

Outside the car, Ji Ran was stuttering to explain that the video was actually not the truth. What he said when he was fourteen was not the truth either. It was an accusation fabricated out of fear of his controlling father.

These are the facts.

Ji Ran’s biological father—also Ji Landong’s stepfather—was a rather arrogant Caucasian man.

Relying on his resources in the fashion world, he was in the model photography business in the circle, yet he never hid his contempt, disdain, and hatred for Asians.

And Ji Ran and Ji Landong’s mother, Fan Yinghua, as a “well-known agent”, was more like an extension of her two husbands’ power.

She looked for aspiring new actors for her first director husband, and talented models for her second husband.

After her second husband passed away from a stroke, she also withered and collapsed quickly, becoming crazy.

So the outside world regarded Ji Landong as a terrifying tyrant, an oppressor and a perpetrator. In the speculation of everyone—including Li Xingyun—Ji Landong killed his biological father at the age of fifteen, escaped punishment because he was a minor, and at the age of twenty-five deliberately delayed treatment, single-handedly creating the death of his stepfather.

Ji Landong’s mother could not bear the control of her eldest son, and was driven mad by torture. To take revenge for her two husbands, she stabbed a boning knife into Ji Landong’s chest.

Ji Landong sent Fan Yinghua to a psychiatric hospital.

“I, my father… treated me badly.” Ji Ran muttered, “My mother didn’t care. He beat me, and my mother watched from the side and helped him lock the door…”

At that time, Ji Landong was the only person who saved Ji Ran.

Therefore, at that time, Ji Landong was also the only person Ji Ran dared to hurt.

Absurd and ridiculous, but facts are often like this: the most cowardly people only dare to hurt the only people who treat them well, stabbing the knife in hard to curry favor with the perpetrators.

Ji Ran became addicted—as long as he spoke ill of Ji Landong to the doctor, his always cold and violent father would show satisfaction in his eyes, and even speak kindly to him. And after Ji Ran blamed everything on Ji Landong, their mother finally reached out with tears in her eyes, holding her trembling second son to her chest and stroking and hugging him.

This was a mistake he made when he was fourteen. Later, Ji Ran regretted it and could no longer face this past, but he didn’t expect that his evasion and silence would harm Ji Landong so badly.

He didn’t dare to lie anymore.

Unfortunately, the fans didn’t believe it: “Did Ji Landong force you to say this?”

Ji Ran was stunned, his eyes widened, and his lips muttered for a moment.

The fans were convinced that he was forced, silenced, and forced by capital to lie to whitewash Ji Landong: “And that Li Xingyun, rotten person with rotten person, they all deserve to die!”

“Aran, we support you, you don’t need to be afraid of them!”

“Yes!” The crowd gathered here exceeded the safety limit. The fans were dispersed by the police maintaining public order, and they shouted eagerly, “We will protect you, Aran, let Ji Landong die!”

“Your mother stabbed Ji Landong to protect you! She did it for you!”

“You are a victim, and your mother is also a victim. You are too deeply controlled by Ji Landong. You must be brave and protect your mother, and speak for the disadvantaged groups like you…”

…The nanny car drove out of the street indifferently.

In the back row, Ji Landong was sleeping.

Li Xingyun only dared to move at this time, carefully trying to hug Ji Landong’s shoulder and gradually letting him lean on his own shoulder.

Ji Landong’s face had no blood, his slightly long bangs fell between his eyebrows, and there were faint blue shadows under his eyes. He was very tired, but not sleeping soundly.

As soon as he saw these eyes open, Li Xingyun froze.

“Ge.” Li Xingyun didn’t dare to move anymore. He didn’t expect to wake Ji Landong up and regretted it to death, “Sorry…”

Ji Landong rubbed his temples until the dizziness passed, his voice hoarse and tired: “Mhm?”

He was speechless: “It’s okay, I don’t blame you.”

“It’s been like this for a long time.” Ji Landong said, “I can’t sleep well.”

Ji Landong hadn’t been able to maintain a complete sleep without taking sleeping pills for a long time—this situation worsened after they broke up, probably because of a lack of exercise before bed.

This was a small joke to ease the atmosphere. Li Xingyun curled his lips with difficulty and held Ji Landong’s hand.

He tried to crawl into Ji Landong’s arms as before.

Ji Landong looked at him quietly, his expression still calm, letting Li Xingyun hold him, unbutton his collar, and kiss his jaw and neck. His pale skin was dyed with some thin red because of this.

But there was no further reaction. Ji Landong was a bit sorry. After all, he was being supported by Li Xingyun and had to rely on the money Li Xingyun gave him to buy medicine and cigarettes: “The medicine I take will affect sexual impulse.”

Li Xingyun froze for a moment, pretended not to hear, hugged Ji Landong, and listened to the intermittent heartbeat in the thin chest.

“It’s okay.” After a long time, Li Xingyun said, “Ge, I won’t do anything else. I’ll stay at home and accompany you to recuperate. Let’s take it slowly, no rush.”

Ji Landong laughed.

Li Xingyun gave a start and looked up.

Ji Landong said softly: “President Li.”

“Let me tell you something, don’t be angry.” Ji Landong spoke very slowly, his voice hoarse and soft, “Let me finish.”

Ji Landong lowered his head and looked at Li Xingyun in his arms.

“You are a very righteous person.”

Li Xingyun didn’t dare to interrupt him, but his face turned white, his lips were tightly pursed, he shook his head in vain, and tightened his grip on Ji Landong’s hand.

Ji Landong’s gaze fell out of the window.

“Anything you can’t stand, you must interfere.” Ji Landong said, “Anyone who makes you feel pitiful, you will sympathize with, and you will help and save them. I know you don’t like Ji Ran.”

Ji Landong always knew, he’s not stupid.

It’s just that many things, whether you know or don’t know, is there a difference? Even if you know, can it be changed?

If not, then why point it out?

“You think he’s pitiful and made this way by me, so you’re angry with me.” Ji Landong said, “It’s the same now.”

It’s the same now.

The blood on Li Xingyun’s face faded quickly. He stared at Ji Landong with pleading in his eyes, and looked as if he wanted to shake his head off.

“You just think I’m pitiful.” Ji Landong still slowly finished this sentence, “So pitiful that you can’t stand it, so you want to interfere, you just want to save me.”

Ji Landong retracted his gaze.

He looked at Li Xingyun: “But have you ever thought that I deserve it?”

As soon as he finished speaking, Li Xingyun could no longer help it. With red eyes, he pounced on him and kissed him.

Li Xingyun was trembling violently.

He panted rapidly, unable to suppress the broken whimpering in his throat, and shook his head desperately.

He bit his lips until they bled, so when he kissed Ji Landong, he also carried a strong bloody smell. He fumbled and grabbed Ji Landong’s hand, gripping it without a word, as if holding onto a person who voluntarily drowned in the water.

Ji Landong didn’t want him to speak, so Li Xingyun could only use this method to forcibly interrupt. He kissed Ji Landong, licking and biting the cooling lips like a plea.

The driver suddenly exclaimed, the vehicle swayed violently. The car in front was driven by Ji Ran’s extreme fans. Because they believed that Ji Landong was a murderer who got away with it and Li Xingyun was an accomplice, they threw garbage at them.

This was an outer ring road, and the vehicles were generally fast. This evasion completely lost control, and the car hit the scaffolding of the roadside construction site with mud and water.

Li Xingyun’s eyes widened suddenly, and he used his body to protect Ji Landong in vain.

A heaven-and-earth shaking loud noise.

…

When he regained consciousness, the scene was already in a mess.

Ambulances, police cars, and police motorcycles were flashing with various lights. The driver was rescued and sent to the hospital. The severely deformed driver’s cabin squeezed the back seat passengers tightly.

Firefighters were urgently called to carry out a forced demolition rescue, and the cutting machine spun with sparks flying everywhere.

One of Li Xingyun’s legs was stuck and twisted, and it was so painful that it was numb.

He didn’t care about it and hugged Ji Landong in a panic: “Ge!”

Ji Landong woke up earlier than him, still sitting quietly, touched his hair, and his voice was very light: “Mhm.”

Li Xingyun was so scared that he trembled, his face was pale, and he tightly grabbed Ji Landong’s arm: “Are you okay?”

Ji Landong nodded.

He seemed to be fine, except for being overly pale and even unable to see the pain, nor the fear and unease that a car accident should have.

“It’s my fault.” Li Xingyun understood everything, and wanted to slap himself hard a few times, “The one who deserves it is me, I’m a bastard. Ge, it’s the poison I raised, I indulged Ji Ran’s extreme fans just because I was a self-righteous idiot. Ge, you’re right, I help whoever is weak.”

“I know I’m wrong now, Ge, I really know. I’m regretting it to death. Please believe me, okay?”

Li Xingyun’s right leg injured the femoral artery and was losing blood continuously. He felt dry mouth, dizzy, and his body trembled.

Ji Landong pressed his neck: “Lie down.”

Li Xingyun was pressed down in a daze.

He then realized that Ji Landong had been communicating with the rescue personnel. They were stuck in the back row, and the collapsed scaffolding pierced through the car body.

The situation was complicated, so they could only rescue one by one.

Ji Landong described the situation inside the car to the outside, guiding the rescue personnel to cut the severely deformed car body in an orderly manner. Li Xingyun lay on his chest, his eyes were sore and painful, as if his heart was being rubbed by a hand.

After communicating with the rescuers, Ji Landong retracted his gaze and looked at the half-smoked cigarette.

It fell on the seat.

Li Xingyun tried his best to pull his lips and fumbled for a lighter: “Ge, I’ll light it for you.”

This was too lacking in common sense, which really made Ji Landong smile: “You can’t play with fire, or you’ll wet the bed.”

This was a joke. The serious reason was that the situation at the scene was full of crises. Even the cutting machine was used with fear, for fear that the sparks would come into close contact with the leaked gasoline.

Li Xingyun was taught a lesson, shrank his neck, and reached out to pick up the half cigarette as much as he could and handed it to Ji Landong.

“Ge.” Li Xingyun mustered his courage and tried to hold Ji Landong’s fingers, “I guess I’ll have to be hospitalized. Quick, rip me off for a large sum.”

Ji Landong took the cigarette: “President Li is so generous?”

This was probably the only time Ji Landong called him “President Li” without Li Xingyun’s heart being cut by a blunt knife.

This seemed to be a desperate, drinking poison to quench thirst kind of joy.

At least Ji Landong was asking him for things.

At least Ji Landong was talking to him properly.

“Give me a card.” Ji Landong ordered, “Give me a house.”

Li Xingyun nodded desperately, for fear of Ji Landong’s misunderstanding, even his mouth was used: “No problem, Ge, there’s a river-view house, I’ll have someone clean it up right away.”

Ji Landong asked: “Can I ask for more?”

Li Xingyun without hesitation: “Yes.”

“No more contact.” Ji Landong asked, “Okay?”

Li Xingyun’s body froze, a smile was frozen on his face, he pressed his chaotic heartbeat, and asked softly: “Why? Ge, tell me.”

Ji Landong touched his messy, dull red hair.

Li Xingyun clumsily imitated his past self, from appearance to temperament and tone, it was actually very unsuccessful. Ji Landong had tried his best, but he couldn’t match it and couldn’t find the shadow of the past.

Or maybe that wasn’t the shadow of the past.

It was just a subjective illusion that was not real, processed by the subconscious under Ji Landong’s selfish perspective.

“Because I’m a scumbag.” Ji Landong lowered his head, and his finger pressed Li Xingyun’s violently trembling eye corner, “I’m sick, Xingyun, you’ll be driven crazy by me. I don’t want to wait until that day.”

Li Xingyun felt guilty, regretful, and pity for him because of his miserable ending.

These emotions mixed together and disguised as love.

Ji Landong thought so.

He couldn’t correct his paranoid thoughts. He only believed in love once. If it was broken and ruined, he didn’t think it could be restored. The two had fundamental differences.

If they continued like this, no one would be comfortable. Sooner or later, Li Xingyun’s guilt, regret, and pity for him would be exhausted.

Li Xingyun looked at him with wide eyes, the smile still on his face, tears seeping out. He grabbed Ji Landong’s hand, opened his mouth to speak, but coughed up a mouthful of blood as his chest and abdomen spasmed.

In the chaotic crash, just to protect Ji Landong, his organs were also injured.

Ji Landong wiped the blood from the corner of his lips for him.

“Look.” Ji Landong said, “Xingyun, I rationally know you’re in pain, but I don’t feel anything. I am a completely selfish person.”

“No… no.” Li Xingyun’s voice was hoarse as he shook his head desperately, “Ge, you’re not, you were hurt badly by me. You forgot, when I broke my ribs and punctured my lung in a motorcycle race, you couldn’t sleep night after night, asking everywhere how to avoid leaving sequelae. You even personally went to find a Tibetan doctor despite the high altitude sickness, and spent hundreds of thousands to buy medicine for me…”

The medicine was in a small gourd-shaped bottle carved from Renbu jade, which was expensive and had fine micro-carvings of Tibetan prayers.

When the two broke up, Li Xingyun returned them to Ji Landong.

This description is inaccurate.

Li Xingyun threw them into a large sack, stuffed it into Ji Landong’s arms, and pushed him out the door.

Ji Landong thought for a while, he really didn’t remember, but Li Xingyun’s words evoked another round of hallucinations. He saw the cold and indifferent black-haired President Li, mockingly calling him “Movie King Ji”, protecting Ji Ran behind him.

“Wow.” Ji Landong commented, “I’m so angry.”

This statement was very relaxed, with a hint of teasing, and even carried a bit of unruly and casual smile, very much like the old Ji Landong who was so arrogant that he had no fear.

Li Xingyun had lost too much blood and coughed up two more mouthfuls, but his weak fingers clutched Ji Landong desperately: “Yes, Ge, be angry with me, be very angry.”

Ji Landong nodded.

Li Xingyun pleaded: “Take revenge on me, take revenge on me however you want, Ge, I deserve it…”

Li Xingyun’s consciousness gradually blurred, and he only noticed a steel frame being cut, and a gap was finally opened. The rescue personnel scrambled to pull him out… the exit he could crawl out of was getting smaller and smaller.

Smaller and smaller, the severely tilted scaffolding pressed on the roof, and the deformation continued. Ji Landong raised his hand and pressed his shoulder. Ji Landong didn’t seem surprised.

One hand still held the cigarette, very relaxed, like the lawless Movie King Ji.

Ji Landong pushed him out of the distorted car.

The dozens of meters high scaffolding collapsed with a bang.