Chapter 05#
I’m Not Angry#
Ji Ran hid behind a mask and sunglasses.
His traffic has been good in the past two years.
After all, with the support of President Li Xingyun, he looks delicate and weak, with a gentle temperament, which suits the taste of some fans.
It’s just that recently, Ji Ran has rarely appeared in public. The official explanation is that he is in a bad state and has temporarily stopped working for recuperation and adjustment.
“Li Xingyun!” A fan questioned angrily, “You finally can’t pretend anymore, can you? Do you want to force Ranran to death!”
“You use Aran to make money for you, and rely on Aran’s popularity to run your broken company. Do you think we can’t see it? Now you throw him away after using him, are you still human?”
“Aran needs support, needs protection, which one did you do?!? You are here having an affair with the person who almost killed him…”
Li Xingyun sneered.
In the past, he didn’t realize that he was stupid, stupidly cheap, and unreasonably stupid.
Ji Ran’s face was not good. He tried to persuade these excessive fans, but the fans who were red-eyed with cursing only regarded him as compromising, and were even more furious, shouting louder.
Li Xingyun ignored them. The bodyguards separated the crowd. He wanted to send Ji Landong back to the car first.
Ji Landong hadn’t finished his cigarette yet: “The outside is not a smoking area anymore.”
“It’s okay, Ge.” Li Xingyun reached out and hugged him, “Do whatever you want when you get home. It’s noisy outside, our home is quiet.”
He didn’t dare to show any abnormality, crushed the anxiety and swallowed it hard, holding his breath, and looked into Ji Landong’s eyes.
Ji Landong didn’t seem to understand what these people were arguing about, nor did he realize it was related to him. The appearance of Ji Ran didn’t cause any fluctuation in his gaze either.
Seeing Ji Landong being taken away by Li Xingyun, Ji Ran suddenly couldn’t help it, chasing after him and calling out softly: “Ge…”
The voice behind disappeared in Li Xingyun’s cold gaze.
Ji Ran lowered his head, his eyes turning red.
Ji Ran’s temperament is very timid. He doesn’t dare to compete or speak in crowded places. This is also where he attracts fans. Many people think he is soft and kind because of this.
Li Xingyun might have thought so too. He helped Ji Landong sit in the car, self-mocking and dazed in his heart, unable to figure out what he was thinking in the past.
Whoever is weak is right?
Whoever looks wronged and sad is the victim?
“Ji Ran.” Li Xingyun spoke, not particularly restraining his voice, so people nearby could hear clearly, “The person who almost killed you.”
Li Xingyun lowered his gaze: “Who is it?”
Ji Ran suddenly shuddered heavily, his face turning pale.
Li Xingyun asked: “Who is it?”
He wanted Ji Ran to make it clear here, wanted Ji Ran not to lie, and give a clear answer to the troublemaking fans.
Ji Ran pleaded: “A-Yun…”
This time Ji Landong heard clearly, raised his head, and identified the two people standing next to him.
Li Xingyun just wanted to slap himself hard a few times, or twist his head off. He hurriedly got into the car, squeezed into the back seat with Ji Landong, almost smashed the door shut, and kissed Ji Landong uneasily.
Ji Landong reminded: “Cigarette.”
He still had a cigarette in his hand. With Li Xingyun’s large movements, the falling ash would burn a hole in the expensive high-end leather seat.
Li Xingyun didn’t care. His chest was occupied by intense fear: “I have nothing to do with Ji Ran.”
He was like a poor repeater, repeating over and over again, his throat dry and hoarse: “It doesn’t matter, Ge, you believe me, okay? Believe me once, just once.”
Ji Landong was speechless. It didn’t matter, but since Li Xingyun cared so much: “Mhm.”
Li Xingyun seemed to be pardoned, his chest heaving as he wanted to kiss him, but was held by the shoulder and pushed away gently.
Li Xingyun froze.
Ji Landong felt that everything should be reciprocal. He promised Li Xingyun one thing, and Li Xingyun should also promise him one: “I don’t want to right now, President Li.”
He didn’t want to do this kind of thing right now, didn’t want to act out the kissing scene.
His body and thoughts were out of sync, yet they seemed to be driven by a low-quality engine, and the fuel in the engine was about to run out, so even the strength to act dissipated.
Ji Landong said softly: “I’m tired and want to sleep.”
Li Xingyun held Ji Landong’s face and looked into his eyes. Ji Landong’s gaze was very calm, without fluctuation.
Li Xingyun opened his lips, his throat moved twice, but he couldn’t make a sound.
“I’m not angry.” Ji Landong explained, guessing that Li Xingyun wanted to ask this, “You can get out of the car and help Ji Ran, he’s crying.”
Li Xingyun shook his head in panic.
“Go home.” Li Xingyun hurriedly ordered the driver, and then grabbed Ji Landong’s hand, “Ge, let’s go home, okay? You’re tired, let’s just go home and sleep.”
Ji Landong asked: “Will you blame me?”
This question was like a whip, making Li Xingyun’s spine tremble. He opened his mouth, and the color on his face faded.
…To ask such a thing, of course, was because Li Xingyun had done so in the past.
Ji Landong is a villain after all. He is not a good person. He used to be unrestrained and arrogant, and didn’t have many scruples. Because he was dissatisfied that Li Xingyun always helped Ji Ran, he deliberately made the person’s legs weak in that kind of matter.
As a result, Ji Ran had a depressive episode that night and made a dozen calls to Li Xingyun.
No one answered, and Ji Ran was sent to the hospital overnight by his manager.
Li Xingyun gave Ji Landong the cold shoulder for a long time because of this.
He thought Ji Landong didn’t care. Ji Landong still went his own way during that time, even buying him gifts and making candlelight dinners as usual. Li Xingyun didn’t go home that night. Early the next morning, he saw several plates of untouched food in the trash can, and a dozen empty liquor bottles.
Ji Landong didn’t touch alcohol much, but he couldn’t get drunk, and he didn’t get crazy when drunk either. He just slept on the sofa covered with a blanket.
Even the living and dining room were kept quite tidy and clean. After ventilating all night, there was no smell of alcohol in the living room, but it was cold, with no warmth or human presence.
Ji Landong opened his eyes, saw Li Xingyun coming home, and pulled the person into his cooling embrace. They reconciled just like that, as if nothing had happened.
…
Waking up from memory, Li Xingyun only felt bitterness at the root of his tongue.
He remembered that day when Ji Landong held him, there was a hidden, silent despair spreading from his chest. Ji Landong’s voice was very hoarse. He bent his fingers and gently rubbed Li Xingyun’s hair: “Ask me.”
“Xingyun.” Ji Landong rarely called him by his name. That day Ji Landong’s voice was very soft and unusually hoarse, “Ask me, what’s going on between me and Ji Ran.”
Ji Landong hoped that Li Xingyun would ask him.
Ji Landong was actually a very conceited person. Conceited people are usually arrogant and disdain explaining, let alone asking for help, even if they are already lying on a mountain of shining knives.
That was the only time Ji Landong showed a signal of asking for help.
But Li Xingyun was throwing a tantrum with him, stiffened his neck and refused to ask, insisting on talking about other things: “Go take a shower quickly, are you deliberately acting pitiful, Movie King Ji?”
Ji Landong was quiet for a few seconds, then suddenly smiled, his voice very light: “Ah.”
Ji Landong let go of the hand holding him, slowly crawled up, stood there thinking for a while about what to do, and then went to take a shower.
Li Xingyun didn’t understand what Ji Landong was laughing at then, and he doesn’t understand now either. Only today, as if a needle was stabbed hard into his brain, he suddenly figured out one thing.
He refused to ask.
So Ji Landong didn’t say it.
Ji Landong actually closed his heart more than anyone else. This was not only due to his inherent conceit and arrogance, but also because of his growth environment. Even if he didn’t know the truth completely, at least one point was clear enough.
In these twenty-seven years, Ji Landong hadn’t developed the concept of “relying on”. His biological father and stepfather hacked at him, and his biological mother and Ji Ran parasitized him.
The only attempt Ji Landong made was in the sofa after a hangover, holding Li Xingyun who was biting his neck to vent his anger.
…Li Xingyun looked at his hands. He didn’t know before that being pushed away by someone felt like this, like falling into a vast, empty world of ice and snow.
Li Xingyun thought back repeatedly, what kind of stupidity he was committing at that time.
He really couldn’t remember.
Relying on Ji Landong’s indulgence, he committed no less stupidity.
So he seemed to have completely failed to notice that after that, Ji Landong became very quiet. Most of the time he listened to Li Xingyun talk about his own affairs, and spent the rest of the time in bed and kissing.
He didn’t ask.
And Ji Landong didn’t want to say anything anymore.