Chapter 87#

Not Coming#

Shen Liyuan recited that name again and again in the depths of his heart. His emotions surged and overwhelmed him, and he could not stop himself from doubling over and coughing up blood.

Yin… Yuheng…

The chains of dark iron cold-stone ran through his shoulders, and every movement brought pain. But when Shen Liyuan heard news of Yin Yuheng again, all that pain felt like nothing at all.

Even if… even if he could only see him one more time…

Many years ago, when Shen Liyuan was still the castaway of the Shen family, he had already been whispering this name in his heart. Later he had become the heir of the Shen clan, and still that name lived in him. Now, reduced to a prisoner at someone else’s mercy, he was only more resolved to carve that name into his very blood and bones — over and over again, hammering it into the deepest part of his soul.

Unable to have him. Unable to forget him.

Yin Yuheng — this name was like a scar carved into Shen Liyuan’s heart, throbbing with every heartbeat, until at last it became a festering wound that harmed them both.

The dungeon was bitter cold. Day after day, Shen Liyuan sat in a silence that could drive a person mad, enduring an imprisonment with no end in sight. The only things he had were the memories of his past — and there had been so precious little in his life worth savoring. He had chewed through what little there was time and again, until in the end all that remained were those three characters: Yin Yuheng.

At times, Shen Liyuan could no longer tell what kind of feeling he held for Yin Yuheng. Love? His love had never been pure — it was threaded through with possession and destruction, a desire to drag the bright moon down from the heavens, to cast it into the mud, to make it belong to him and him alone. It had been a love laced with hidden malice.

The more he remembered, the more laughable he found himself.

Radiant as the moon — how could one dare to pluck it from the sky.

Those filthy thoughts that had tangled in Shen Liyuan’s heart were more like an obsession — an obsession that had taken root from the moment Yin Yuheng reached out his hand to him, all those years ago, and could never be erased since. Sometimes Shen Liyuan thought that even if it all started over, he would only repeat the same mistakes. He was incapable of letting go — this obsession had become a part of his very soul.

But if it started over, he would never again let Yuheng suffer through life and death like that. There would be no more accidents… He thought — he only wanted to keep Yuheng by his side…

The spirit candle the prison guard had brought burned quietly in the corner, its warmth and light filling the air, flickering now and then, driving back the bone-deep cold that pressed in from all around.

Shen Liyuan could not help but cling to the warmth that candle offered — a warmth he had long been without. The dungeon was so cold. Cold enough to stiffen and crack his very bones. And Yin Yuheng, to him, was like this spirit candle — capable of driving away the chill that had settled in his soul across all these years.

Shen Liyuan regretted it. He regretted nearly killing this person, nearly snuffing out his own one flame.

Fortunately, Yin Yuheng had woken up.

The hand hanging limp at Shen Liyuan’s side began to tremble. He clenched it tight, nearly breaking the skin of his palm.

He had nothing now. He was no longer the scion of a great family — just a cripple with useless legs, a prisoner at another’s mercy. He no longer dared ask for more. He only wanted… just one more look.

Instinctively, Shen Liyuan crawled another step forward.

“Yuheng will come to see me…” he murmured again, voice trembling. “He will.”

In Yin Yuheng’s life, Shen Liyuan must still be a presence that could not be erased — even if no longer as a friend, then as an enemy. But at least… Yin Yuheng could not have forgotten him.

That alone was enough to satisfy Shen Liyuan.

Besides — was he not already atoning?

“I said stop calling the sovereign by his given name!” The guard’s brows were tightly knit, his voice sharp and cold. “What is wrong with you? The sovereign is a man of a thousand gold — why would he come to a dungeon?”

Shen Liyuan murmured to himself: “You don’t understand… Even if he hates me, Yuheng will come… He’ll come the moment he wakes…”

The guard had no patience left for him: “You have no sense of propriety whatsoever. Never mind that you’re no longer some noble’s son — even if you were, calling the sovereign by his given name is an act of grave disrespect!”

He paused, then shook his head. “Besides — the sovereign has been awake for some time now. And he has never once come to the dungeon.”

Shen Liyuan froze. “He… he’s never mentioned me?”

Impossible. He was the one who had hurt him most deeply. When Yuheng woke, he would surely come to know the cause and consequence of everything — would learn of all the schemes Shen Liyuan had quietly laid against him. Yuheng should be angry and heartbroken — not to have simply… forgotten him.

The guard glanced at Shen Liyuan with undisguised impatience: “I’m not one of the sovereign’s people — how would I know? Though the sovereign has ten thousand affairs of state to attend to. When you think about it, he hardly has time to spare a thought for someone like you.”

Shen Liyuan shook even harder.

Even if it was contempt, hatred, ridicule — how could he… how could he simply forget him.

Impossible.

For a moment, Shen Liyuan felt his thoughts dissolve into chaos.

How could Yuheng not care about him? The Yuheng of the past had cared for him. Had searched for medicine to heal his legs. Even if the Yuheng of today hated him, it was only natural — but how could he simply… erase him from his mind entirely…

Right. He hadn’t forgotten — he had simply not come yet. Not yet…

Shen Liyuan was bewildered for a moment. Blood-tinged tears dropped one by one.

The guard had no desire to say more. He turned and left.

Shen Liyuan tried to call him back. This former scion of a great clan — for the very first time — gritted his teeth and bowed his head before someone he had always looked down upon: “Please — tell him… I’ve already…”

But before he could finish, the guard had already walked far away. In the corner of the cell, the spirit candle continued to give off its soft, quiet warmth.

And yet Shen Liyuan felt colder than before. He curled in on himself in anguish.

…Even just one glimpse.

Yuheng. Yin Yuheng.

Don’t forget me.

Yin Yuheng had indeed barely thought of Shen Liyuan at all — he had nearly put the man entirely out of his mind.

If it weren’t for the Kunlun Mirror shard still requiring research, he might very well have gone another stretch of time without remembering him.

“I can’t be bothered to spend any more thought on him.” Yin Yuheng leaned against Lu Yan.

Lu Yan simply gathered him in, his arms tightening slightly, letting Yin Yuheng settle more comfortably against him. Yin Yuheng tilted his head back to look at him and found that, without his noticing, Lu Yan had gone red in the face.

…Still so easy to fluster.

Yin Yuheng smiled and narrowed his eyes, relaxing into Lu Yan’s hold.

There really was nothing worth bringing up about Shen Liyuan — although he had once made Yin Yuheng feel a genuine and deep revulsion. But now the great clans had fallen from power, and he himself held authority in his hands. His enemy lay imprisoned in a dungeon. Since Shen Liyuan had already received his due retribution, Yin Yuheng had no particular desire to go stand before him and exact any further revenge. He held not the slightest interest in the man.

For someone who wasn’t worth it — even hatred felt like wasted energy. If he had the time, it was better spent coaxing Lu Yan. Watching Lu Yan blush was a great deal more interesting than anything to do with Shen Liyuan.

Yin Yuheng couldn’t help but sigh to Xiaobai within his sea of consciousness: “You were right earlier — I really am different from before. I’m actually quite magnanimous now.”

Xiaobai: … Your idea of magnanimity is leaving Shen Liyuan locked in a dungeon to suffer indefinitely while you can’t even be bothered to spare him a thought?

Yin Yuheng genuinely felt he had grown much calmer and more even-tempered.

“Though, there is something I actually need to ask him.” Yin Yuheng turned the Kunlun Mirror shard over in his fingers. “How he got his hands on that piece.”

Lu Yan pulled the person in his arms a little tighter. “I’ll go ask.”

Yin Yuheng blinked and laughed. “You? Nobody’s going to end up dead, right?” He genuinely worried that Lu Yan might lose control for a moment and send Shen Liyuan to his grave.

“You don’t want to see him.” Lu Yan stroked Yin Yuheng’s hair with the pad of his thumb, and raised an eyebrow.

It wasn’t that he particularly minded either way — he was simply too lazy to bother. But Lu Yan obviously despised this person and didn’t want him anywhere near Yin Yuheng. Since Lu Yan felt that way, what was there that couldn’t be accommodated? Yin Yuheng curved his lips, then on a sudden impulse leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Lu Yan’s mouth.

“Alright then — I won’t see him. I’ll only look at you.”

Lu Yan’s fingers went rigid.

Yin Yuheng felt as though the temperature of the entire room had risen several degrees. Lu Yan stared at him without blinking, his movements a little unsteady, but his eyes looked as if they held a fire burning within them. Inexplicably, Yin Yuheng shivered, instinctively starting to pull back — only to be caught by Lu Yan’s hand, pressing firmly against his spine.

Lu Yan’s fingers were burning hot — whether it was the influence of the golden crow bloodline or only Yin Yuheng’s imagination, he couldn’t tell.

Yin Yuheng: …

It seemed… he had teased a little too far.

In the moment that Yin Yuheng’s sense of danger sparked to life, Lu Yan forcefully pulled him close. From lips to tongue, deepening the kiss by degrees.

Relentless. Inescapable.

Yin Yuheng’s lashes trembled faintly, his long hair falling loose over his shoulders — and he cast Shen Liyuan entirely from his mind.