Chapter 30#
Begging You#
When he received the news that Li Guanghan would arrive later, Zhu Anning was sitting at the table waiting.
His senior brother told him to be good, so he didn’t go anywhere.
“Master has something to do?” Zhu Anning frowned, “Then what about senior brother?”
The small Taoist boy didn’t know either and excused himself.
An inexplicable sense of anxiety arose in Zhu Anning’s heart, and he couldn’t help but stand up and pace back and forth in the room.
He looked up at the dark sky outside the window.
The State Preceptor’s Manor’s formation isolated the outside wind and rain, but looking far into the distance, he could still see the surging clouds at the end of the sky.
It was raining in Chaoge.
Rain threads pierced heaven and earth, enveloping the four fields; only the State Preceptor’s Manor was a paradise amidst this violent storm.
The room was filled with warmth. Zhu Anning lit a lamp, the dim yellow light cozy and quiet. As long as he kept his head down and didn’t look out, it felt as if everything was no different from any other day.
The same tranquility.
The same peace.
This realization slightly comforted Zhu Anning. His brow smoothed out a bit as he suppressed the faint unease in his heart, deciding to wait a little longer.
Senior brother cared about him so much, how could he not come back? He must have been delayed by something.
Thinking of his senior brother, Zhu Anning suddenly felt a bit happy again. When senior brother arrived, he would take his hand and ask why he took so long to return. No need to look for Master; just the two of them would be fine. Then he would talk to senior brother a lot… like when they were children, one speaking and the other listening.
Zhu Anning leaned on the table, the corners of his mouth unconsciously curling up, a look of anticipation in his eyes.
However, after waiting for another cup of tea’s time, he still hadn’t seen him.
The smile on Zhu Anning’s face faded. That sense of unease—of being liable to be abandoned at any moment—surfaced in his heart again, lingering and refusing to leave. Zhu Anning finally couldn’t help but want to stand up and go out to look, when the silver bracelet on his wrist suddenly lit up.
Catching a glimpse of that light, Zhu Anning froze.
A low, raspy voice sounded from the silver bracelet: “Anning?”
Hearing this voice, Zhu Anning’s face turned deathly pale. He lowered his voice and grit his teeth: “Didn’t we agree? We have nothing to do with each other from now on!”
“I helped you so much, after all,” the other person chuckled, “how heartless.”
Zhu Anning was so anxious he wanted to pull the bracelet off his wrist, but even as his wrist turned red from the friction, it still wouldn’t budge.
“Don’t bother trying; it won’t come off.” The other person seemed to be in a good mood. “How has it been lately? Reconstructing your spiritual veins with your senior brother’s blood—does it feel good?”
A look of pain appeared on Zhu Anning’s face: “You’re shameless—”
The other person sneered: “I’m shameless? Deliberately faking an illness, the idea of tricking your senior brother into taking heart’s blood to save you—wasn’t that your own idea? The person who smugly told me back then that they wanted to make their senior brother suffer in pain and despair—wasn’t that you?”
Zhu Anning’s face turned ashen, and he couldn’t help but growl: “Get lost!”
“Don’t be in such a hurry, it’s your birthday today, isn’t it?” the other person said leisurely. “Having cooperated for so long, we can be considered to have some friendship. I’ll give you a gift.”
Zhu Anning suddenly had an extremely bad premonition.
“What do you mean?!”
However, the light on the silver bracelet quickly faded, and there was no longer a sound.
Zhu Anning was stunned for a moment, then abruptly turned around and rushed to the door in a few steps. He pulled the door open with force, wanting to rush out and find his senior brother—
The moment he pulled the door open, he froze in place.
Someone was standing at the door, who knows for how long.
“…Senior brother.”
Zhu Anning’s hand unconsciously gripped the doorframe, his knuckles turning white. His whole body gradually stiffened, and his mind went blank.
Yin Yuheng stood there without moving, expressionless, his eyelashes lowered.
Zhu Anning tried to force a stiff smile: “Senior brother is back? I…”
“I heard everything,” Yin Yuheng suddenly interrupted him.
Zhu Anning opened his mouth but couldn’t say a single word.
The last shred of illusion was shattered. All the anticipation and hope from just now became illusory moon-in-the-water and flowers-in-the-mirror, a mirage in an instant. The flowers and moon were incinerated, the grand mansion collapsed; at this moment, the thousands of warm stones in the courtyard simultaneously lost their effect, and a massive cold current surged forward. The stars vanished, the sun and moon lost their light, and boundless darkness enveloped everything—
Everything happened too fast, without any preparation; all the fear and unease finally became reality. He fell from the clouds, and water submerged his head. He opened his mouth to gasp in vain, but the sense of suffocation still tightly choked his throat.
He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t think of anything, only able to dazedly repeat: “Senior brother…”
Yin Yuheng didn’t answer him. He slowly lowered his head, raised his left hand, and wiped the corner of his mouth. Blood stained his fingers, still flowing incessantly.
The color of blood stung Zhu Anning’s eyes. He snapped back to his senses and tried in a panic to support his senior brother. However, at the moment Zhu Anning reached out, Yin Yuheng staggered back a step.
Zhu Anning’s hand froze in mid-air.
Yin Yuheng looked up, revealing a pair of dark, sunken eyes.
Zhu Anning understood the rejection, pain, and mockery within them. Pain began to spread through the meridians of his entire body, making Zhu Anning want to cry.
“Is there anything else you want to explain?”
Yin Yuheng waited for a while, but Zhu Anning couldn’t say anything.
Yin Yuheng suddenly revealed a sarcastic smile.
“I actually held a bit of expectation just now.”
He endured the pain in his chest and wrist to return here, just wanting to ask Zhu Anning personally.
He didn’t want to believe that the junior brother who was close to and relied on him was just a liar who deliberately tortured and toyed with him.
But… it turned out that he was the fool.
“So you hate me…”
Hate me to the point of wanting to destroy me.
“Senior brother, senior brother…”
Zhu Anning tried with all his might to pull Yin Yuheng’s hand, but he was shrugged off.
“It must have been hard work to deceive me. Why continue the act now?”
Zhu Anning shook his head in vain, frantic with anxiety: “No, it’s not like that…”
He was at a loss; he had long known that once the truth came out, there would be no room for redemption. But he didn’t know that when this moment truly arrived, it would be so painful, so very painful.
Yin Yuheng smiled coldly, his gaze sliding over Zhu Anning’s face as he slowly looked around. He looked very carefully, very intently, as if wanting to remember everything around him without the slightest error.
He was familiar with every plant and tree here—the lotus pond, the plum trees, the pavilions of varying heights. Even if he didn’t like the fine snow that drifted all over the sky, having seen it so much, he could sense a bit of its loveliness.
“This is the place where I’ve stayed for five years.”
“There was once a teacher I admired here, and a junior brother I cared about…”
“I originally thought this was my second home where I could return, besides the palace… I was concerned about Teacher, and also concerned about you.”
“But it turns out everything was just my own wishful thinking.”
Yin Yuheng felt that his heart should be in pain, but having been in pain too many times, he felt somewhat numb.
Yin Yuheng seemed to finally be unable to hold on and abruptly turned to leave. No matter how much it hurt, he didn’t want to show his fragile and dejected side here anymore.
…… ……
Zhu Anning froze in place, as if countless mountains were about to crush him, making him unable to move, without even the strength to take a step forward.
He didn’t know how long he stood there.
Every word, every sentence from Yin Yuheng struck his body, churning up an unceasing tide of despair within him. Pain piled higher and higher, wave after wave, almost submerging him.
Senior brother…
His senior brother…
Such a clean, such a gentle person. Even when tortured by him so painfully, he didn’t hate him—he still tolerated him, cared for him, would gently rub his head, would celebrate his birthday…
This person pulled him out of hell and gave him everything, yet had his heart broken by him and was completely disappointed.
Senior brother had already left and wouldn’t come back…
Senior brother didn’t want him anymore.
He had lost his senior brother.
This realization abruptly surfaced in Zhu Anning’s mind, and almost instantly, boundless despair and fear were about to crush him.
He rushed out the door in a panic, leaving behind that meticulously arranged, warm, and cozy room, not bothering to take another look at the dim yellow lamp light or the untouched, exquisite meal. He rushed past the peach tree, where the small wooden plaque with his wish hung swaying in the wind. He rushed out of the courtyard, into the wind and snow, stumbling as he followed his senior brother’s footsteps.
Snow blew into his collar, and his hair bun was blown loose by the wind. He couldn’t care about anything; he only knew he had to be faster, as senior brother was about to leave…
Finally, he caught up at the main gate of the State Preceptor’s Manor. He saw his senior brother with his back to the snow of the manor, facing the tightly closed gate, his black hair loose and the hem of his robe flying, looking as if he would disappear between heaven and earth in the next moment.
“Senior brother! I beg you, I beg you not to leave…”
Zhu Anning let out a cry of despair.
Yin Yuheng raised his hand and pushed open the gate of the State Preceptor’s Manor.
“Rumble—”
A deafening clap of thunder resounded through the sky, and a damp wind surged in from outside the gate. Torrential rain covered heaven and earth, with thick, unshakeable, gloomy darkness everywhere.
It truly was raining in Chaoge, and it was a heavy rain.
An secret joy suddenly arose in Zhu Anning’s heart. The rain was so heavy, and senior brother’s health was poor and couldn’t withstand the wind and cold; perhaps he wouldn’t leave…
In the next moment, Zhu Anning watched with his own eyes as Yin Yuheng lifted his foot without hesitation and stepped into that boundless curtain of rain.
Zhu Anning’s heart felt as if it had fallen into an ice cellar.
Suddenly, he realized how ridiculous he was.
He had deceived himself, trying to hide everything, trying to maintain a false appearance… but errors that had already occurred could not be buried forever.
Just like when he sat in the courtyard waiting with naive illusions, he had no idea that a heavy rain was already pouring outside. No matter how powerful the formation of the State Preceptor’s Manor was, that door would eventually be pushed open.
Senior brother would rather walk into the torrential rain than turn back to look at him again.
Pain…
Clearly his spiritual veins had been reconstructed and all his old injuries had been healed, yet it hurt so much his fingers cramped unnaturally.
No… senior brother, don’t go…
Zhu Anning rushed into the rain curtain like a madman.
The sound of wind, rain, and thunder rushed into his ears, noisy and chaotic, making him unable to hear other sounds. He only knew to run forward while murmuring senior brother’s name. Raindrops struck his body, instantly soaking through his thin shirt.
The bluestone road was covered with slippery green moss. Zhu Anning accidentally slipped and fell into the rainwater, his whole body aching. He couldn’t care about anything and scrambled up in a panic to continue, finally catching a corner of Yin Yuheng’s robe.
“Senior brother… the rain is so heavy… wait until the rain stops before leaving, okay?”
He lowered his brow and eyes, his tone pleading, humble to the point of dust. Rainwater flowed down his cheeks, his stray hairs stuck messily to his forehead, his body covered in mud and rainwater—he was in a terrible state.
He knew senior brother hated him now… he didn’t dare ask for more.
He once took pleasure in deliberately torturing his senior brother, staining the spotless senior brother with colors of jealousy, pain, and self-abasement. But no matter how excessively he acted then, senior brother never hated him. He felt surprised in his heart and thus tortured him even more heartlessly.
Now, senior brother finally loathed him…
Only now did he understand what a kind of insurmountable pain this was.
Yin Yuheng finally stopped his footsteps and turned his head slightly.
Without waiting for Zhu Anning to breathe a sigh of relief, he heard Yin Yuheng’s indifferent voice: “…Let go.”
Zhu Anning’s lips trembled, and he refused to let go.
Yin Yuheng raised his hand, ignored the pleading in Zhu Anning’s eyes, and pulled the hem of his robe out from Zhu Anning’s hand inch by inch.
Zhu Anning was almost in despair, yet he didn’t dare resist Yin Yuheng’s movement.
Yin Yuheng’s gaze swept over the silver bracelet on Zhu Anning’s wrist, and he suddenly gave a self-mocking laugh: “This is a sound-transmission magic tool, isn’t it? Just now you were using this to discuss with someone else how to deceive me? You’ve arranged quite a bit just to torture me.”
“No, it’s not like that…” Zhu Anning’s voice trembled, full of despair. “Someone lied to me, used me. I didn’t know the truth, that’s why I was bad to senior brother…”
“Is that so?” Yin Yuheng looked at him, “Who?”
“I, I don’t know…” Zhu Anning lowered his head in guilt. “He wore a mask whenever he met me, and later always used this bracelet to contact me… I don’t know who he is…”
Yin Yuheng turned his head to leave.
“Really, senior brother, I’m not lying to you this time!”
In his panic, Zhu Anning tried to pull Yin Yuheng, but he stumbled and fell to the ground.
He murmured in despair: “Senior brother, I know I was wrong, I really know I was wrong… I beg you…”
He suddenly felt a stone and began to strike the bracelet on his wrist as if insane.
He used so much force that his wrist was ground until it was mangled and bloody. Piercing pain surged in waves, making Zhu Anning feel dizzy and faint. Blood surged out, staining the bracelet, but in the next moment, the heavy rain washed away the red traces until they were gone. Not only was the bracelet not damaged in the slightest, but its silver light became even more brilliant, as clean as new.
Zhu Anning struck, scratched, and bit, but the bracelet remained firmly fastened to his wrist.
Zhu Anning finally couldn’t hold on anymore and began to sob, tears welling out of his eyes. But in the heavy rain, even tears were so insignificant.
“Senior brother, I beg you… I’ll definitely be very good and obedient from now on… You can treat me however you want; talk to me when you’re happy, and kick me aside when you’re not… even taking my blood is fine… just don’t leave me…”
He knelt in the mud, a complete mess. He cried and pleaded, so panicked that his speech was incoherent, but no one reached out to pull him up.
He only heard a faint voice: “Stand up.”
Zhu Anning couldn’t stop crying, yet he didn’t dare to be disobedient. Even if senior brother told him to plunge a knife into his own heart right now, he would do so without hesitation. He used his injured hand to support himself on the ground, struggling to crawl up, only to stumble and fall again. He tried three times before he could barely stand straight.
Tears and rain blurred his vision. Through the rain, he couldn’t see the expression in Yin Yuheng’s eyes.
“What would I want your blood for?” Yin Yuheng seemed to sigh, “Crying and whimpering, so self-deprecating.”
Hearing this, Zhu Anning couldn’t help but cry even harder.
It was just like when the Young Master had said to him in a tone of disappointment back then: “I saved you, not so you could find another place to be a blood slave. If you want to be so self-deprecating, walk out of this door right now and act as if I’ve never met you.”
Back then, the Young Master’s tone was so cold, but Zhu Anning knew the Young Master was doing it for his own good and wouldn’t truly drive him away. But he had failed the Young Master’s expectations and teachings, not only being self-deprecating but also doing many wrong things, becoming bad, and hurting the person who was best to him. Now, that person was finally completely disappointed and loathed him, truly not wanting him anymore.
The current Young Master must surely wish he had never met him.
The heavy rain doused his head; Zhu Anning was in despair and powerless.
“Fine, go back.”
In a daze, Yin Yuheng’s voice reached his ears. Zhu Anning understood that no matter how he pleaded, he couldn’t make the other person turn back.
Zhu Anning wiped away a tear and shook his head in panic.
Yin Yuheng said nothing more and turned to leave. His figure moved further and further away, finally disappearing into the rain curtain.
Zhu Anning, after all, didn’t dare to chase after him.
Finally, only he was left, along with the boundless, unceasing rain.
Just a short while ago… he was still sitting in a warm room, his senior brother smiling at him affectionately and wishing him a happy birthday.
In the blink of an eye, he had forever lost his senior brother, his Young Master.
Zhu Anning lowered his head dejectedly and knelt in the rain.
“Senior brother, I was wrong…” Zhu Anning cried out helplessly. “I… I really can’t stand up anymore; I didn’t mean to be disobedient…”
No one answered him. Yin Yuheng had already gone far away.
He had been abandoned by his senior brother, and also abandoned by this world.
Zhu Anning suddenly began to pry at the bracelet on his wrist again like a madman. The bracelet didn’t budge, and the blood from his wrist flowed even more intensely. The metallic scent of blood entered his nostrils, instantly reminding him of how it felt when his blood was drawn when he was a child, and the sight of his senior brother lying in a pool of blood…
As well as that faint metallic sweet taste when his senior brother’s heart’s blood passed over his lips and tongue.
A sense of nausea and disgust surged up in an instant. Zhu Anning lowered his head trembling and began to dry heave.
He hated blood.
Zhu Anning knelt on the ground with his head down. In a daze, he remembered when the Young Master had taken revenge for him in Fengliang. At that time, the two of them were standing outside the execution ground, and the Young Master said indifferently—
Heavenly principles are clear; retribution is certain.
Now it was his turn.
This was his retribution.
This was his punishment.
Zhu Anning’s gaze fell on the silver bracelet on his wrist.
He had heard that there was a kind of punishment in the world called “branding.” Carving characters on a criminal’s face, letting that guilt and shame torture the sinner for a lifetime, impossible to escape. Zhu Anning suddenly realized that this bracelet was like a brand—unremovable, indestructible—forever following him, confining him, and proclaiming how wrong his past deeds were and how great his crimes.
Zhu Anning let his wrist drop, giving up the effort to remove the bracelet.
He deserved it; he got what he deserved.
It was like an invisible chain, omnipresent and following him like a shadow, locking him in hell. However, this time, no one would save him again.