Chapter 21#
Chapter 21#
Rain fell for several days in a row, as if even the Heavens couldn’t stand to see the world’s disasters and had come late to extinguish the previous days’ fire.
De Fu looked at Su Yang, who was unable to sleep at night, his body wrapped in bandages. The wounds from the fire hadn’t healed, and he would likely be left with scars.
Su Yang’s eyes were also covered with a layer of gauze, having been scorched by the firelight, and also needed time to heal. But not only did Su Yang not rest his wounds, he also refused to believe the fact that Lin Huaiyu had already died, sitting in the Imperial Study all day.
No candles were lit in the dim room; Zhou Li said Su Yang needed to rest early and couldn’t let candle-light irritate his eyes. Thus, no candles were lit in the palace, and Su Yang just sat there on the chair, looking at the death-exemption gold token in his hand, motionless as a statue.
De Fu sighed and stepped forward to change Su Yang’s hot tea. Nowadays, Su Yang was truly soul-shattered, seeing no one and not attending morning court. Although it was because he was recuperating, De Fu knew Su Yang simply had no heart for court.
As long as he didn’t believe the fact that Lin Huaiyu was dead, he would be trapped in it for all eternity.
“Is there still no news?” Su Yang’s voice carried a heavy rasp, having not spoken a single word for several days.
De Fu shook his head and said, “No.”
He knew Su Yang was merely deceiving himself; where could Master Lin be found now?
Only with no news would Su Yang feel that Lin Huaiyu wasn’t dead.
De Fu persuaded, “Your Majesty, no news is good news. Why not rest first, sleep for a bit? Maybe tomorrow there will be news of Master Lin?”
But Su Yang suddenly looked at De Fu, his sharp eyes under the gauze filled with gloom as he said faintly, “Can I still believe what you say?”
De Fu was so frightened he immediately knelt down: “Your Majesty… I deserve to die.”
Su Yang let out a sneer.
Hearing this laugh, a cold sweat instantly soaked through De Fu’s robes, but he didn’t dare say anything more, only saying, “Your Majesty, you must still take care of your dragon body.”
But Su Yang didn’t pursue De Fu; he knew De Fu meant well for him. But he didn’t want to hear those words at all, and suddenly asked De Fu casually, “Tell me, where could Lin Huaiyu have run off to?”
De Fu lowered his head, not daring to truly give an answer: “I don’t know.”
Su Yang let out an abrupt laugh: “It doesn’t matter. No matter where Teacher runs, I will find him.”
Hearing Su Yang’s words, which sounded like those of a madman or a demon, De Fu sighed silently.
It’s over; His Majesty is truly about to go mad.
But after waiting for a long time, the people sent out never found Lin Huaiyu. Su Yang even distributed the wanted posters to the surrounding towns and even the entire Great Yong, yet no news came.
Lin Huaiyu seemed to have truly vanished from the face of the earth.
No, in everyone else’s eyes, Lin Huaiyu had already died in that fire. Only one person didn’t believe it, obsessively believing that Lin Huaiyu wasn’t dead but had merely escaped.
After half a month, Su Yang stood on the palace path outside Qinchun Palace. It had already become a blackened wasteland. For half a month, he had no heart to handle anything, blocking out all sounds unrelated to Lin Huaiyu. The fire here had been extinguished, but it remained idle.
Su Yang stepped into this wasteland and only saw that everything related to Lin Huaiyu had been burned to ashes; nothing of him was left, only black soot everywhere.
De Fu stood far behind Su Yang, not daring to get too close. Su Yang just stood there for a long time before instructing De Fu, “Have Qinchun Palace rebuilt.”
De Fu immediately responded, “I will go issue the decree now.”
“It must be exactly the same as before,” Su Yang added with emphasis.
De Fu naturally knew Su Yang’s meaning. What Su Yang wanted was not just for Qinchun Palace to be built the same as before, but also for everything inside to be the same as when Lin Huaiyu was there—every single object, even those clothes.
“Yes,” De Fu said in a low voice.
Having received the instructions, he went to the Ministry of Works to issue the decree. After walking a few steps, he looked back at Su Yang, only seeing a scene of loneliness, standing alone on that gray and black scorched earth like an abandoned, homeless puppy.
After the reconstruction of Qinchun Palace began, Su Yang went to supervise the progress almost every day. For a whole month, except for processing some important memorials and meeting some critical ministers, he spent the rest of his time supervising the construction of Qinchun Palace, hardly even attending morning court.
The civil and military officials speculated one after another, and even among the common people, there were many rumors. The most serious even claimed that Su Yang was seriously ill and could no longer attend court, and that Great Yong was about to change masters.
As the head of the inner palace, De Fu naturally heard many rumors, and the officials also inquired about Su Yang’s physical condition from time to time.
He looked at Su Yang standing on the palace path, staring intently at Qinchun Palace, and felt that this couldn’t continue.
“Your Majesty, Lord Zhao seeks an audience.”
On this day, Zhao Xiangyi finally couldn’t help but seek an audience with Su Yang on behalf of the officials.
At that time, Su Yang was still supervising the reconstruction of Qinchun Palace, which was almost finished. Hearing the person’s name, he immediately frowned. “What is he here for?”
De Fu spoke the truth, “Likely for the matter of the morning court.”
De Fu glanced at Su Yang’s expression. Qinchun Palace was about to be completed, so Su Yang’s mood was likely not bad at this moment, and it wouldn’t be tempting fate.
In fact, every day there were officials seeking an audience for court affairs, but after De Fu reported once and was scolded, he suppressed them all.
As expected, Su Yang didn’t curse him today, but said impatiently, “I don’t want to see him.”
Seeing this, De Fu hurriedly took the opportunity to say, “Lord Zhao is, after all, a talent Master Lin favored. He likely has something important to report to Your Majesty.”
He specifically mentioned that small connection between Zhao Xiangyi and Lin Huaiyu. As expected, Su Yang reacted.
Su Yang let out a cold laugh and said with disdain, “Is he worthy?”
De Fu remained silent. Following that, he heard Su Yang say coldly, “Call him in.”
“Yes.” De Fu felt relieved that Su Yang could finally listen to some of what he said.
As expected, His Majesty only takes things related to Master Lin to heart now.
He only hoped Lord Zhao could advise the Emperor as Master Lin did when he was here.
De Fu walked to the palace gates and met the new top scholar—no, he was now the Director of the Hanlin Academy. As Lin Huaiyu said, he was indeed a capable person.
Zhao Xiangyi stood at the palace gates, tall and straight. If it weren’t for the red robes on him not being what Lin Huaiyu usually wore, one might really mistake him for Lin Huaiyu standing there for a moment.
He stepped forward, “Director Zhao, His Majesty requests your presence.”
Zhao Xiangyi hadn’t actually expected Su Yang to see him. He had only come today to try his luck. For over a month, Su Yang had seen no one except for a few ministers he had to see.
Zhao Xiangyi looked at De Fu and imperceptibly handed a bag of silver to him from his sleeve, asking in a low voice, “Eunuch serves by His Majesty’s side day and night; do you know how His Majesty’s mood is today?”
De Fu smiled and pushed the silver back. Zhao Xiangyi’s face stiffened. De Fu comforted, “We are all sharing His Majesty’s burdens; I accept Lord Zhao’s kind intentions in my heart.”
Zhao Xiangyi’s face relaxed, and he said with shame, “It was my lack of consideration.”
De Fu smiled and shook his head. That Zhao Xiangyi could climb to the position of Director of the Hanlin Academy in a short time was not only due to his own strength but also his ability to be smooth in his dealings; this was something some people couldn’t learn even if they tried.
He said, “His Majesty’s mood is not bad today as Qinchun Palace is being completed. Whatever Lord Zhao wants to say later, you can… mention Master Lin more.”
Zhao Xiangyi was slightly stunned, and then found that De Fu was actually telling him how to smooth the Emperor’s feathers.
He said hurriedly with gratitude, “Many thanks, Eunuch De Fu.”
De Fu shook his head; he wasn’t helping Zhao Xiangyi, he only wanted to help the Emperor.
He didn’t have the heart for the world that Lin Huaiyu had, but he knew that as long as the Emperor was there, Great Yong would be peaceful.
Zhao Xiangyi followed De Fu to the palace path outside Qinchun Palace. As expected, he saw the Emperor in a black robe standing at the door of Qinchun Palace. He was somewhat different from the Su Yang he saw in the great hall, with a few more parts of gloom—not even a trace of a smile could be seen on his face.
Su Yang was entirely enveloped in a haze, as if there was an undissipating fog around him, trapping him in a vast expanse from which he could never emerge.
Zhao Xiangyi stepped forward to pay his respects: “Greetings, Your Majesty.”
Su Yang didn’t look at him once, merely staring at Qinchun Palace and saying faintly, “What is it?”
Zhao Xiangyi looked at De Fu, always feeling that Su Yang’s mood at this moment couldn’t be called good.
But he still braced himself and said, “Your Majesty has not attended morning court for many days. All the officials are very concerned about Your Majesty. There are many court affairs; I beseech Your Majesty to attend morning court.”
Only then did Su Yang slowly shift his gaze to Zhao Xiangyi. The way the other was respectfully advising him reminded him of Lin Huaiyu. Unfortunately, Lin Huaiyu didn’t often wear red robes.
The last time he wore red was when he was coaxed and tricked into wearing those wedding robes, only for them to be torn soon after.
Lin Huaiyu didn’t like those wedding robes, nor did he like him as a student. Yet Lin Huaiyu was deeply poisoned for his sake, and in his ill state, he had to be humiliated by him as his student. What was Lin Huaiyu thinking at that time?
Su Yang couldn’t help but think of Lin Huaiyu’s weary expression, curled his lips, and let out a self-deprecating laugh.
Lin Huaiyu likely hated him to death.
“Do I need you to remind me whether or not I attend court?” Su Yang’s voice grew cold.
Lin Huaiyu would also advise him like this, but he hated that it wasn’t Lin Huaiyu standing in this position advising him, but another person.
Zhao Xiangyi said hurriedly, “I wouldn’t dare. It’s just that for various court matters, the officials don’t dare to act without Your Majesty’s approval.”
Su Yang sneered, “Without me, you can’t do anything? Then what use do I have for you?”
Zhao Xiangyi looked troubled and glanced at De Fu from the corner of his eye. De Fu was signaling him, so he could only try his best.
Thus he said, “Your Majesty, I was thinking that if Master Lin were standing here at this moment, he would likely advise Your Majesty like this as well.”
Su Yang’s expression paused, and a layer of gloom instantly covered his face. He looked coldly at Zhao Xiangyi: “Are you worthy of mentioning him?”
At that time, Lin Huaiyu had knelt in the snow for Zhao Xiangyi’s sake, and his knees had caught a chill, hurting for several days.
Seeing this, Zhao Xiangyi hurriedly knelt and said, “Your Majesty, if Master Lin were here, he would surely not want to see Your Majesty so despondent, even neglecting the morning court!”
He knelt and prostrated himself deeply, waiting for Su Yang to punish him. However, there was no movement from above for a long time.
Zhao Xiangyi looked up cautiously and saw Su Yang standing there with his lips pursed, his gaze appearing lost in thought.
Seeing that Su Yang could indeed listen to things related to Lin Huaiyu, he let out a sigh of relief.
But in the next second, Su Yang looked down at him and said with cold disdain, “What did you just say? What did you mean by ‘if Master Lin were still here’? Is he no longer here? Huh?!”
Zhao Xiangyi was stunned and said, “Master Lin perished in the sea of fire; we are all deeply saddened. Please restrain your grief, Your Majesty. We know Your Majesty is heartbroken, but you must take care of your dragon body.”
Upon hearing this, De Fu thought, it’s over.
Su Yang’s eyes turned red instantly. He stared intently at Zhao Xiangyi and roared, “Who said he’s dead? He’s not dead; what grief to restrain! Get out! Everyone get out for me!”
Zhao Xiangyi was pulled away by De Fu, still somewhat dazed halfway: “Eunuch De Fu, why is His Majesty so unwilling to believe Master Lin has already died?”
The wanted posters were pasted everywhere. Zhao Xiangyi was previously puzzled, thinking it was Su Yang’s excessive grief, but now looking at it, he felt the Emperor…
In short, it wasn’t right.
De Fu sighed and said, “His Majesty’s affection for Master Lin is deep.”
Zhao Xiangyi couldn’t understand. Lin Huaiyu was Su Yang’s teacher; no matter how deep the affection, it shouldn’t be to the point of neglecting national affairs for over a month, right?
Also, at the beginning De Fu said Qinchun Palace was being completed and His Majesty’s mood was better. Why would his mood be better after Qinchun Palace was repaired? He remembered Master Lin had died in the fire in Qinchun Palace…
The sacrificial ceremony—why would Master Lin be in the Emperor’s back palace?
Thinking about these things one by one, there were many puzzling points.
But clearly, De Fu wouldn’t tell him these things.
After sending Zhao Xiangyi away, De Fu hurried back to outside Qinchun Palace. Su Yang was still standing in the same place, watching the utensils being moved into Qinchun Palace. Su Yang saw a charcoal brazier and called to the palace servant, “There wasn’t one of these in there before. Take it away.”
But the palace servant said, “In reply to Your Majesty, on the day of the sacrificial ceremony, Master Lin had me move this charcoal brazier in.”
Su Yang frowned, “Was the floor heating in Qinchun Palace not being burned that day?”
The palace servant hurriedly explained, “In reply to Your Majesty, the floor heating has been burned vigorously every day and has never stopped.”
Su Yang’s brow furrowed even deeper, “Then did Teacher say why he wanted this charcoal brazier?”
The palace servant spoke the truth, “Master Lin said it still felt a bit cold in the room, thus he ordered me to move the charcoal brazier.”
Su Yang’s gaze darkened. Did Lin Huaiyu feel cold at that time?
Yet he was humiliating Lin Huaiyu over and over again in the bone-chilling wind and snow…
Su Yang closed his eyes and asked, “Where did he place the charcoal brazier?”
Hearing this, the palace servant placed the charcoal brazier according to the position Lin Huaiyu had pointed out before.
Su Yang looked at the charcoal brazier placed by the table, even more puzzled in his heart.
Why did Lin Huaiyu specifically want this charcoal brazier on that day?
The fire—could it be because of this charcoal brazier?
Su Yang looked at the things gradually filling up Qinchun Palace, only missing the person he wanted to see.
He looked at the empty bed and asked De Fu, “Tell me, when will I be able to find him?”
De Fu really wanted to say that even if Lin Huaiyu truly, truly, truly hadn’t died, with Lin Huaiyu’s strategy, if he wanted to hide and live in seclusion, likely no one could find him.
But he could only change his approach and say, “Your Majesty, I’ve heard that Lingshan Temple is very efficacious, and Master Lin also frequently went there to pray. Although Your Majesty doesn’t believe in these things, if there truly is no other way, why not go there and have the abbot do a divination?”
Su Yang looked toward De Fu with a gloomy gaze.
De Fu felt a chill down his back and knew he had misspoken again. He hurriedly knelt and said, “It was my slip of the tongue. Your Majesty doesn’t believe in such things. Your Majesty is the True Dragon Son of Heaven; you are the only destiny under heaven.”
“Leave the palace,” Su Yang withdrew his gaze and got up to speak.
De Fu was stunned. Looking at Su Yang’s departing back, he blinked.
Was His Majesty really planning to go to Lingshan Temple for a divination?
He followed in astonishment.
Lingshan Temple’s incense was flourishing. Although located outside the city, countless people were still drawn to it, with innumerable pilgrims coming to offer incense and pray every day.
Su Yang changed into ordinary clothes and went up the mountain low-key. De Fu also changed into ordinary clothes and followed behind Su Yang.
Seeing Su Yang, the abbot stepped forward and said, “Your Majesty.”
Su Yang looked up at the golden Buddha statue and asked, “I want to find a person. Can the abbot tell me where to go find him?”
The abbot said “Amitabha,” closed his eyes, and said, “Your Majesty, it is better not to force some things. If the obsession is too deep, it is easy to generate a heart demon.”
Su Yang looked into the eyes of the Buddha statue, seeing the compassionate Buddha who pitied the world, and let out a laugh: “Do you mean to say I should give up?”
The abbot shook his head but had already opened his eyes and said no more, only comforting, “Your Majesty is trapped in a fog and cannot see the direction clearly.”
Su Yang turned his head and gave the abbot a deep look: “I see clearly. He’s not dead, he’s hiding from me, and I will surely find him.”
After saying this, he turned to leave.
“Your Majesty, are you not carrying your safety talisman with you?” the abbot suddenly asked.
Su Yang stopped his steps instantly and turned to look at the abbot: “What safety talisman?”
The abbot folded his hands, with a kind smile: “Master Lin once prayed for Your Majesty and sought a safety talisman in the temple. He knelt here every day, sincerely worshiping the Buddha for forty-nine days without interruption. This safety talisman should be carried with you; perhaps at a critical moment, there will be unexpected gains.”
Su Yang’s heart tightened. He couldn’t hear whatever else the abbot said, only saying, “I know.”
Following that, he left Lingshan Temple and hurried back to the palace.
He walked all the way to Qinchun Palace. The things inside were identical to before it was burned down. For a moment, Su Yang thought he had really returned to the time before Lin Huaiyu left.
He walked to the bedroom, opened all the cabinets, and carefully flipped through every corner, not even sparing the bed and pillows.
He remembered that at New Year’s he had asked Lin Huaiyu for a gift, and Lin Huaiyu said he hadn’t left the palace and thus couldn’t prepare one.
Could it be that safety talisman? That safety talisman was originally meant to be given to him, but wasn’t given out, right?
Later when Lin Fei entered the palace, he remembered Lin Huaiyu once stood in front of the low cabinet…
Su Yang hurried to the low cabinet, but it was empty, with nothing inside.
Su Yang stood there for a good while, and then suddenly glimpsed the charcoal brazier placed by the table. In an instant, he seemed to understand why Lin Huaiyu had suddenly wanted a charcoal brazier.
Lin Huaiyu had burned the safety talisman that was never given…
Su Yang’s eyes turned red suddenly.
His consciousness also gradually emerged from the memories.
Qinchun Palace had already been burned once. Even if Lin Huaiyu hadn’t personally burned the safety talisman, he wouldn’t be able to find it now anyway.
Su Yang suddenly scanned the entire Qinchun Palace. The bedroom was still in its original state, every object placed as if it had never been burned.
But looking closely, the books on the desk were not the same as when Lin Huaiyu was there, and there were no more memorials that needed Lin Huaiyu’s handling. He remembered Lin Huaiyu was always writing and drawing at the desk, annotating things. But now, there were no writings of Lin Huaiyu’s on any of the books or scrolls on that desk.
Su Yang walked around the bedroom. The incense lit was still the original spices, but it only lacked Lin Huaiyu’s traces and his scent.
Su Yang walked to the wardrobe and opened it. Every piece of clothing inside was his, and there were none of Lin Huaiyu’s.
Su Yang let out a self-deprecating laugh.
Indeed, since Lin Huaiyu entered the palace, he hadn’t let Lin Huaiyu wear his own clothes.
At that time, what Lin Huaiyu wore were all his clothes—loose and not fitting at all.
Su Yang closed the wardrobe with force.
Although it was restored to be identical to before, it only lacked Lin Huaiyu’s traces and his scent.
His gaze gradually dimmed, and he walked soul-shatteredly to the bed.
On this bed were the traces and memories of his and Lin Huaiyu’s madness. He slowly lay down on the bed, imagining Lin Huaiyu was still there, holding the bedding as if holding Lin Huaiyu, tightly clutching it in his embrace.
Moonlight spilled in from the window. Su Yang remained in this posture without moving, yet he kept his eyes open. Just like for more than a month, he was unable to fall asleep.