Chapter 34#

The Break

Lu Yan was slightly stunned when he heard the news.

Qin Feng slapped him on the shoulder and laughed, “What, too happy to react?”

Lu Yan shook his head and smiled faintly, “A bit surprised.”

Qin Feng continued, “Yeah, I was surprised too. It was all set, then suddenly they changed their minds and said they wanted to re-audition. I thought it was a lost cause, but then there was this dramatic twist. I’m sure there’s some story behind it, but regardless, we’ve got the role. Time to celebrate.”

Lu Yan nodded absently, “Yeah, good.” After a moment’s thought, he added, “Feng Ge, I have something to take care of. Can you help me cancel today’s schedule?”

Qin Feng finally noticed his expression wasn’t right. “What’s wrong? You don’t seem happy. Something on your mind?”

Lu Yan forced a smile, “Just some personal matters. I’ll handle it.”

“Alright, go ahead. There’s nothing today that’s absolutely necessary. I’ll take care of it.” Though curious, Qin Feng respected Lu Yan’s privacy and agreed quickly.

“Thanks, Feng Ge.” With that, Lu Yan stood up and left.

When he reached the lobby of the company building, he took a deep breath, pulled out his phone, and dialed a number. A familiar ringtone sounded from the other end—it was one he’d casually suggested when he was asked about it before. He hadn’t expected the other person to keep the same ringtone even after changing their phone number.

Just as the ringtone was about to end, the call was picked up. The voice on the other end was familiar but hoarser than usual, and the tone was especially heavy. “Hello, who is this?”

He couldn’t tell if the other person hadn’t seen the caller ID or simply hadn’t saved his number.

Lu Yan’s gaze drifted into the distance, where two teenagers walked by with their arms around each other’s shoulders, one holding a basketball, their faces full of youthful exuberance. Only then did he realize it was already summer break. His tone was perfectly calm. “It’s me, Lu Yan.”

A sharp, bitter laugh came from the other end. “You. What do you want now?”

Lu Yan remained composed. “Where are you? I have some things I want to ask you.”

“Good. I have things to say to you too,” the voice paused before continuing. “I’m at home. Come over.” He then gave an address.

Lu Yan hung up and slowly lowered his phone. When he looked up again, the two teenagers had already disappeared.

He hailed a taxi to the address Xu Yongzhou had given. Sitting in the backseat with sunglasses on, he noticed the driver wasn’t like most cabbies who liked to chat. Lu Yan assumed the driver hadn’t recognized him. Only when he paid the fare did the driver suddenly pull out a notebook and pen, slightly embarrassed, saying his daughter was a fan of Lu Yan and asking if he could give an autograph. Lu Yan smiled gently, took the notebook and pen, asked for the daughter’s name, and scribbled a few blessings along with his signature. The driver took it back gleefully.

No matter how heavy his heart, maintaining a gracious demeanor in front of fans was both a personal cultivation and a professional necessity as an artist.

The doubt that had plagued him since his rebirth might finally be unveiled today. Lu Yan couldn’t tell whether he felt more anticipation or helplessness.

When he rang the doorbell, he felt an unusual calm in his heart—so calm that it didn’t feel like he was coming to confront someone, but rather visiting an old friend. In truth, he only came to ask a few questions.

The door opened quickly. Xu Yongzhou was still wearing the same shirt from yesterday’s audition, now slightly wrinkled. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept all night, and his hair was messy. His face was expressionless. The always image-conscious Xu Yongzhou now appeared disheveled and Embarrassed . The once eternally sunny, bright, and confident Xu Yongzhou seemed to have vanished overnight.

After opening the door, Xu Yongzhou glanced at Lu Yan and walked back inside without a word.

Lu Yan followed silently and closed the door behind him.

Xu Yongzhou went straight to the sofa, lit a cigarette. The coffee table next to the sofa was littered with cigarette butts, and the room was thick with the pungent smell of smoke. Back when they were in school together, they’d occasionally smoke, but rarely, and neither had an addiction.

This version of Xu Yongzhou was one Lu Yan had never seen.

Xu Yongzhou blew out a smoke ring, and his voice came out hoarse. “Go ahead. What do you want to ask?”

At this point, there was no need for false pleasantries or pretended warmth. Lu Yan’s tone was calmer than even he had expected. “I only have one question. Why?”

Xu Yongzhou didn’t answer immediately. He silently finished the cigarette in his hand, then stubbed it out in the ashtray on the coffee table, which was already overflowing with the corpses of cigarettes.

He looked up, his eyes filled with sarcasm, his voice sharpening. “Why? You ask me why? I was the golden child since childhood. Everyone praised me for being handsome, smart, and coming from a good family. I always thought I was the best. But then you appeared, Lu Yan. You had nothing. I know you’re an illegitimate child, and your mother is insane. Yet you overshadowed me at every turn. The mentors liked you, classmates adored you, and even the love letters you received were more than mine.

“I couldn’t accept it. I was unwilling. I just wanted to beat you once, just once. But not only were you slightly more capable than me, you were also slightly luckier. Losing the audition for Blade to you, I had nothing to say. Then I landed a random bit part that turned into a male lead role, and I became an instant hit. I thought I was lucky, but you—two high-grossing films in a row, plus the favor of renowned director Li Ran and actor Gu Yang. I successfully signed with Starry Sky, and you not only got into Starry Sky, but you also got a top-tier agent like Qin Feng. I was interested in Director Gao’s project, but he chose you without a second thought. Did I not even deserve the chance to compete with you?

“I couldn’t let it go. Didn’t you have Li Ran backing you? I could find Su Jue. Coincidentally, he’s also interested in men. During the time I was with him, he treated me well, and we clicked. I almost thought I was falling in love with him, and I almost believed he was falling for me too. I used his name to call Director Gao and demanded a re-audition for the role. Director Gao agreed. When Su Jue found out, he didn’t say anything. I thought he would definitely help me.”

Xu Yongzhou’s voice gradually faded, and Lu Yan could tell he was genuinely heartbroken.

After a long silence, Xu Yongzhou looked up again, the bloodshot in his eyes seeming even redder. He almost growled through gritted teeth, “Lu Yan, what the hell is your charm? The one who was with him was me, but instead of siding with me, he broke up with me because I did this to you. For you, he dumped me!”

Even then, Lu Yan could calmly think: He did it for Su Mo, not for me. He had suspected before that Xu Yongzhou’s relationship with Su Jue was based on something, but now hearing it confirmed from the other’s mouth brought an indescribable pain. He hadn’t expected Xu Yongzhou’s obsession to run so deep.

Lu Yan sighed. “I never intended to compete with you.”

Xu Yongzhou let out a sharp laugh. “Of course you didn’t think about it. Because without competing, you always outshine me. Lu Yan, you’ve always been like this. Your eyes are always looking upward. If you were in my shoes, always having someone above you, could you be so calm?”

Lu Yan suddenly thought of the years before his rebirth, watching Xu Yongzhou climb higher step by step while he himself remained stagnant, the distance between them growing until he couldn’t even catch up. He remembered those nights, facing the cold emptiness alone, tangled in indescribable emotions, suffocating, unable to turn over. But one thing he was sure of: even at rock bottom, he would never stoop to such despicable acts. No person or thing was worth tainting his hands or overturning his principles.

So Lu Yan said slowly, “Yes, you’re right. Maybe if our positions were swapped, I’d feel jealousy too, resentment, unwillingness. But no matter what, I would never—betray a friend!”

When Xu Yongzhou heard the first part, there was still a mocking smile in his eyes, his chin slightly raised as if to say, See? You and I are the same. But at the last sentence, his face turned deathly pale. Yes, they were ultimately not the same kind of person.

Lu Yan gave him one last look and said calmly, “Regardless, thank you for clearing up my doubts. From now on, we are no longer friends.”

Since things had already turned ugly, becoming strangers from this point on would probably be the best outcome.

As Lu Yan’s right hand was about to pull open the door, Xu Yongzhou suddenly called out, “Lu Yan, can you always stay so calm and composed? I’d really like to see you panic.”

Lu Yan released the door handle, slowly turned around, and looked at Xu Yongzhou’s almost manic expression. He enunciated each word, “Even if I do have moments like that, I won’t let you see them.”

With that, he turned and left without hesitation.

Lu Yan didn’t take the elevator. Instead, he entered the stairwell through the fire door and began descending the 21 floors step by step. He carefully recalled every meeting with Xu Yongzhou before his rebirth, and finally let out a sigh of relief. Because he clearly remembered that no matter how bad his situation was, he had never lost his composure in front of Xu Yongzhou. That was the only dignity he had left back then, and he had managed to preserve it.

Yet his mood didn’t lighten. The answer he had been searching for since his rebirth had been obtained, and it wasn’t particularly twisty or bizarre. The reason was so simple and straightforward, yet impossible to let go.

Lu Yan didn’t know whether completely severing ties with Xu Yongzhou or maintaining a superficial harmony would have been better. He only knew that neither outcome was one he wanted to see.

He knew he wasn’t such a cold-hearted person. Four years of being together day and night—sweating together, laughing and crying together—it couldn’t all have been fake.

By the time he finished descending the 21 floors, his heart was still heavy, as if even breathing was constrained. The summer sun was blazing outside, but when Lu Yan stepped out of the apartment building, he didn’t feel any warmth.

Not until he saw the black Lexus parked quietly at the entrance, and the person standing in front of the car, gazing at him. The car had been turned off completely, as if it had been waiting for a while.

Su Mo was still dressed in a well-tailored, exquisitely fitted suit, but the warmth in his eyes softened the usual rigor and coldness. He lifted the corners of his mouth slightly and said softly, “I suddenly felt like finding someone to go for a drive with. Would Mr. Lu do me the honor?”

Lu Yan felt a surge of wetness threatening his eyes. He suppressed the sudden flutter in his heart, raised an eyebrow, and said slowly, “My pleasure.”