Chapter 17 - 3#

On his way to work, as he stepped out of his car, Hye-jun spotted Do-jin getting out of his sedan at the exact same time. Giving him a half-hearted nod of greeting, he quickly tried to dodge him and ran toward the elevator. Considering the possibility that Sa Do-jin might take that transport machine, he firmly made up his mind to take the emergency stairs instead.

The moment he reached out without hesitation to grab the doorknob, he felt a presence behind his. The owner of that presence tugged at the thin T-shirt he was wearing. A smooth voice followed.

“Where are you going without taking the elevator?”

“Office.”

“That’s brief. Make it longer.”

“O-f-f-i-i-c-e.”

“Won’t you regret that answer?”

“••My apologies. I was on my way to the office. Good morning, Chief.”

“It could have been, but seeing Team Leader Nam try to run away makes my irritation rise. Your skills are improving by the day.” Tugging once more at his body as he struggled to keep moving forward, Do-jin successfully and easily stood Hye-jun beside him. The image of the two of them standing side by side was reflected in the elevator doors. Hye-jun’s deep eyes scanned the reflection as if gently stroking it.

Sa Do-jin was, as always, impeccably dressed. Even as the seasons changed, that never wavered. In the past, he would have simply felt he looked impressive and left it at that, but now, every time he saw his tall stature and wide, square shoulders, distracting thoughts kept creeping in.

He now knew what lay beneath those clothes.

If so, just how many people on this earth knew what was inside there?

He wasn’t such a novice in romance that he didn’t know this was called ‘jealousy’ in professional terms.

It was only human nature for the heart to follow once the body became known. Hye-jun found himself liking him more and more. Just as he was about to lower his head while rebuking himself, Do-jin’s calm voice stopped his.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen Team Leader Nam take a scheduled break on an off-day. Did you rest well?”

“Ah, yes. Nothing much happened at the Metropolitan Investigation Unit, right?”

“Cases are always happening. It was Team Leader Nam who wasn’t there. I missed you.”

“Ah. Yes. I also really miss··•••• Yes? What did you just say?”

“What.”

“Pardon?”

“I said, what.”

Did I hear wrong?

Judging by Sa Do-jin’s expression as he stared at his nonchalantly, it certainly seemed so. Because he kept having strange thoughts, his imagination and reality were getting mixed up. A sense of self-loathing surged at the thought that he had truly reached the end of his rope. A flush rose to Hye-jun’s cheeks as he stood there at a loss. Looking down at his, Do-jin brought back the initial topic in a gentle voice.

“So, I asked if you rested well. I’m curious about how Team Leader Nam spent his day off.”

Until recently, they weren’t in a position to ask each other such things. So he didn’t even have a sense of whether he should answer or not. Confused, Hye-jun simply answered his question without adding or subtracting anything.

“I went grocery shopping with Kang-san.”

Snap.

The sound of something breaking inside his grip was heard. Startled, Hye-jun immediately dropped his gaze and paid attention to Do-jin’s left hand. He hadn’t misheard. It seemed like he had only clenched it without even a tremor in his arm, but inside his palm, his access pass and ID card were both neatly shattered.

Due to the nature of their profession, people with strong grip strength weren’t rare in his surroundings. But he had never seen someone as strong as Sa Do-jin. It was true that marks left easily on his body, but it was also true that his grip strength was excessive. Hye-jun pulled his left hand toward his, looked down at the fragmented objects, then let go as if shaking them off.

“Chief, you really chose the right career as a police officer. It would have been a disaster if you had become a criminal.”

“Are you saying you made another appointment on your day off with a teammate you see every day? You’re out of your mind.”

“It wasn’t an appointment, I just ran into him at the mart by chance. It was his day off too, and he lives nearby anyway—”

As if chewing over his answer, Do-jin was silent for a moment before making a calm suggestion.

“Shall we go for a drive to the suburbs on your next day off? Since Team Leader Nam is so busy, I’ll match the date. When was your day off again? What kind of flowers bloom then?”

What on earth.

What was the meaning behind these words?

Was Sa Do-jin the kind of person who knew how to adjust his schedule for someone else? He was a man who would make the Deputy Commissioner wait if he had his own work to do.

It felt like he had heard something he shouldn’t have, and his mind went pitch black. Unable to understand at all, Hye-jun turned into stone. After standing in silence with his back stiff and upright, he forced out his voice with difficulty.

“The two of us?”

“Is there a problem?”

“From ‘on your next day off’ to ‘what flowers bloom,’ the whole thing.”

“You’re not a child. Figure it out.”

The person who set the problem should provide the solution and the answer so one can check if it’s right or not. When he hesitated, not knowing how to respond out of bewilderment, Do-jin’s low and handsome voice began to fill the time and space.

“If there’s a place you want to go, tell me. If there’s no word by the day before your break, I’ll decide.”

Unable to answer, Hye-jun kept his mouth tightly shut. No matter how much he pondered, his intentions wouldn’t readily take shape. If he were talking about doing work, given Sa Do-jin’s tendency to give clear commands, he wouldn’t have phrased it as a drive. At the same time, it didn’t seem like something said with a particularly special meaning. This was because they were still nothing to each other. On the contrary, they were becoming an ambiguous relationship where they could become nothing.

He was the only one confused again by the stone he threw without much thought. It sounded exactly like asking for a date, but the two of them were not in a position to do such things.

What are we? Sex partners? It naturally felt like they had become something like that. Rules were being created one by one. However, that kind of relationship was generally maintained lightly only when both sides had no feelings. He was already overwhelmed by the fear that it would be discovered that the tilted seesaw had dipped far down toward his side.

“Chief.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve read The Little Prince.”

To tame meant the same thing as establishing a relationship.

It meant becoming fond of each other, and also needing each other.

It was a story about how to me, you become the only one in the world, and to you, I become the only one in the world. 2] That is why one must take responsibility for the act of taming. That book taught his that.

Feeling his gaze, Hye-jun added calmly.

“Please don’t tame me too much.”

“I am the only one who gives orders.”

“It’s not an order, it’s a favor••”

“Ah, I spoke in code again. Whatever it is, it means I refuse.”

Since he brought up the book, he believed he would have understood the comprehensive message piercing through it. There was no way Sa Do-jin’s extraordinary brain could fail to follow the underlying meaning that if one is to tame, one must also take responsibility. But he dismissed his words far too simply.

With his eyes wide open, Hye-jun turned his body and grabbed his sleeve.

“Excuse me, but I think you misunderstood what I meant.”

“That sort of thing only happens in your slipshod life, Team Leader Nam.”

“No, I don’t think you understood? Did you actually not read that book?”

This time, he looked back with a face full of disillusionment.

It was right then. Just then, detectives with familiar faces opened the inner doors and appeared.

“Good morning, Chief!”

Do-jin replied with a nod. Hye-jun quickly corrected his posture to face forward. From then on, the surroundings were silent. Do-jin and Hye-jun were quiet, and the detectives, who usually shared small talk when meeting in front of the elevator, held their tongues. Before long, the elevator arrived and opened its doors.

The two people who had arrived first boarded first. As the rest of them moved to board together, Do-jin reached out his hand and blocked them.

“Take the next one.”

Hye-jun watched the atmosphere and stepped toward the elevator threshold to get off as well. Simultaneously, as if he had anticipated such an action, the exact same thing as before happened. Catching the white T-shirt Hye-jun was wearing, Do-jin pulled the fabric, making his step backward on his own.

“Team Leader Nam is taking this.”

“The clothes will stretch••···”

“Step back before I make your worries stretch as well.”

The sight of the detectives watching the two of them bickering as if it were familiar gradually disappeared from view.

The interior of the elevator, with its doors closed, was as quiet as a temple. If not for the sound of the machine moving, the sound of their breathing would have struck their ears directly.

He wanted to run away, but he couldn’t get off here.

Distressed by the silence, Hye-jun blurted out anything.

“Why are we the only ones using public property?”

“So that Team Leader Nam can keep feeling uncomfortable being alone with me.”

“The fact that you do it knowing that is really·•··•· impressive.”

As soon as a period was marked at the end of his sentence, the machine that had come up from the basement to the first floor opened its doors again. When people waiting in the lobby tried to board, Do-jin shook his head as if refusing this time as well. While the detectives, suddenly denied boarding, hesitated under his calm intimidation, the doors closed again.

Since this was a high-floor elevator, it would only open again starting from the 7th floor. It meant he had to go all the way up alone with Sa Do-jin.

It would be faster to just wait for those numbers on the display to go up. It was a short amount of time in reality, though it felt long to his. While Hye-jun was anxiously staring at the red numbers, he suddenly reached out and grabbed his chin. Before he could ask why he was doing this, he tilted his head and gave his a quick peck.

Hye-jun turned into stone right then and there.

‘Do sex partners usually do this kind of thing?’

He had never heard of it. On the contrary, wasn’t it the standardized pattern of such a relationship to act like strangers once outside the lodging? He couldn’t be sure because it was his first time. There was no one to ask, so he knew even less. He was somewhat weak in this area because it was his first time truly liking someone in the first place. To his stunned self, he threw an even more profound topic.

“What are you doing? If something goes out, something must come back.”

Hye-jun wore an expression of complete uncertainty. Because Do-jin lowered his head and brought his face close as if kindly giving his a hint, his words flowed out with an involuntary stutter.

“Do, se-sex partners normally do this too?”

“Then do people who satisfy each other’s sexual desires not do this? Aren’t we the kind of people who do this in bed?”

“That’s true, but…”

“Do it quickly. We’re arriving soon.”

After hesitating, Hye-jun mustered his courage and lightly pressed his lips against his. He gazed at him with the words ‘I don’t think this is right’ etched into his pupils. The expression on Do-jin’s face as he looked down at that clear face was cryptic. A faint smile hung at the corners of his mouth. It was hard to believe, but he looked at his as if he were seeing something cute. However, he could not be certain because he had rarely seen him smile other than to mock or smirk.

Just then, the doors of the elevator that had reached the 7th floor opened wide.

Because Do-jin strictly kept his arrival time every day, the clock of the Metropolitan Investigation Unit also rotated in sync with his. The detectives who had come out early discovered him and greeted him energetically.

“Chief, you’re here!”

“Good morning!”

Stepping off ahead of his, he moved away at a rapid pace. Watching his back, Hye-jun felt his heart sink belatedly and clutched his chest. As he hesitated inside the elevator, the doors prepared to slide shut. He quickly pressed the button, got off, and entered the office of the Metropolitan Investigation Unit.

While trudging toward his seat, he was surprised to see a back that had no reason to be there. Instead of going into the Chief’s office, Do-jin had entered the Team 1 office space and tossed the broken access pass and ID card to Kim Kang-san. Kim Kang-san’s eyes went round as he barely managed to catch them with both hands.

“Why is this in this state•••••• Did you run over it with a car?”

Do-jin responded with an indifferent tone as he headed toward the Chief’s office.

“It broke somehow. Go to the Police Affairs Section and have it replaced.”

He probably broke it himself.

While Hye-jun watched him move away blankly, unable to correct him, Kim Kang-san, who was simply excited because Do-jin had specifically assigned him a task, responded brightly and vigorously.

“Yes, sir! Understood!”

“That dummy.”

Sa Do-jin could have left it to the investigation support team or the patrol officers. He had clearly come all the way here to give Kim Kang-san menial work on purpose. Does Kim Kang-san not know that subtly stepping on people like that is his truly cunning side? Does he like it even while knowing? For now, his side knew it, but had come to like him.

Shaking his head, Hye-jun sat down and fell into thought while looking at the black monitor he had turned off. He knew now after trying it. An unrequited love was too bad for the heart. Every day he liked him more, and it kept taking his breath away. He was shaken by every single one of his actions, analyzed their meanings, was disappointed, and then expectant.•••••• At this rate, it felt like his insides would be burned black. It was unnecessarily too hot.

It was natural for Do-jin to feel a certain sense of possessiveness toward his since they had slept together. It would have been the same even if he were in his position. After fighting like it was war every day, now that they were doing that on a bed, all sorts of feelings would surely arise. The problem was himself, who wanted to misinterpret that. He didn’t not have the thought—since things had already turned out like this—of what it would be as if they just became a pair who moderately had sex. Doing it with him was crazily good, and this relationship that was gradually becoming intimate wasn’t bad either.

But in the end, the conclusion arrived at ‘I cannot do that.’ He was a person who could not easily throw things away. That is why he shouldn’t have started in the first place, but without realizing it, he had already dug deep into his life. It was the right thing to avoid him before his heart was discovered by a man who believed the world was divided into things that are helpful and things that are useless.

Since today would be the day he liked him the least, it was right to make a decision a day sooner.

‘I should submit a transfer application.’

He had to persuade the team members who had willingly gathered at the Central Office just to see his, and finding a place to transfer to was also a hurdle. It was a task he had to solve, one by one, calmly.

Turning on his laptop, Hye-jun pulled up the transfer application form and began writing.