Chapter 14#
Offering the Crematorium to a Homophobic Straight Man 14#
On the first night in his new home, Qiao Qing didn’t sleep very soundly.
A strange environment, no matter how comfortable, always takes time to adjust to.
In the early morning, he was awakened by the crisp chirping of birds outside the window. As he was staring blankly at the ceiling, his phone rang.
The three words “Lin Jinbai” were jumping on the screen.
Qiao Qing looked at that name, a complex emotion flitting through his heart, and didn’t pick up immediately.
The ringtone persisted stubbornly for a good while, as if declaring the persistence of its owner on the other end.
Only then did he take a deep breath and press the answer key.
“Hello?”
“You’re discharged?”
Lin Jinbai’s voice came through the receiver, carrying a deliberately suppressed calmness.
Portal: Ranking List | Quick-transmigration Protagonist-top
Top
But Qiao Qing could still hear a hint of hidden urgency and instability beneath it.
“Yeah, discharged yesterday.” Qiao Qing’s tone was very flat, showing no waves.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lin Jinbai’s questioning followed immediately, in his usual tone.
“Being discharged is such a big deal, how can you manage alone?”
Qiao Qing’s fingers holding the phone tightened slightly, his tone still showing no ups or downs:
“You’ve just taken over the group, there are many things to do, you’re too busy. I didn’t want to trouble you.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end, and then, Lin Jinbai’s voice sank, carrying an unbelievable stagnation.
“We used to… never say ’trouble’.”
Qiao Qing’s heart felt like it was lightly pricked by a fine needle, a tingling pain spreading.
Yes, in the past.
In the past, he would treat everything about Lin Jinbai as his own, meticulously, never feeling it was a trouble.
But now…
“The past is the past, the present is the present.”
Qiao Qing lowered his eyelashes and said in a calm tone.
Lin Jinbai seemed to be choked by this sentence; his breathing came through the receiver, somewhat heavy.
After a while, he asked again, a trace of hard-to-detect tension in his voice:
“Where are you living now?”
“I found a new house.” Qiao Qing didn’t specify.
“Come back and stay.”
Lin Jinbai replied almost immediately, his tone carrying a command but also hiding a plea.
“We picked this house together, bought it together, here… everything has your traces.”
Qiao Qing closed his eyes, every corner of that apartment flashing through his mind.
The sofa they picked together, the floor lamp Qiao Qing liked, his commonly used kitchenware in the kitchen, the greenery he carefully tended on the balcony…
It was indeed full of memories, but they weren’t all beautiful.
“I won’t be going back again.” Qiao Qing’s voice was very soft.
“Then… what about those things?”
Lin Jinbai’s voice lowered, as if suddenly losing the strength to support himself.
“Your clothes, your books, your potted plants…”
“I’ve already commissioned an agent and an organizer; they will help pack and organize.” Qiao Qing interrupted him.
“How can outsiders understand our life?!”
Lin Jinbai’s voice suddenly rose, carrying irrepressible irritability and a hint of… grievance?
“Do they know which things are important to you? Do they know how you categorize and arrange them? Qiao Qing, that’s over ten years of our life!”
Listening to his righteous questioning, Qiao Qing sighed soundlessly in his heart.
See, this was Lin Jinbai.
Always standing on his own position, feeling the whole world should revolve around him.
Never truly reflecting on what he had done, losing his temper at any time because things didn’t go his way.
Feeling other people’s efforts and departures were an offense to him.
A sense of fatigue washed over his heart like a tide.
Qiao Qing didn’t want to waste more time on this meaningless tug-of-war.
“I’ll go back tomorrow afternoon to pack up.”
He took a step in compromise, only to make a clean break.
“Okay.”
Lin Jinbai agreed immediately, his tone even carrying a bit of urgency.
“I’ll wait for you at home.”
“You don’t need to wait for me specially.” Qiao Qing instinctively refused.
“Go to work as you should. Your grandfather just handed the group over to you; you must be very busy. Don’t pull all-nighters often, and pay attention to resting your body.”
These words almost blurted out, a deep-rooted habit from over ten years, a concern carved into his bones.
After saying it, Qiao Qing himself was stunned for a moment, and then a wave of helpless self-loathing washed over him.
On the other end of the phone, there was a long silence.
So long that Qiao Qing thought the signal was cut, or Lin Jinbai had already hung up.
“Hello?” Qiao Qing asked tentatively.
“If there’s nothing else, I’m hanging up?”
“…You haven’t talked to me like this for a long time.”
Lin Jinbai’s voice finally came.
Low, raspy, carrying a thick nasal sound that wouldn’t dissipate, like being covered by a layer of damp mist.
The undisguised grievance and accusation in that tone were like a thin string, tightening around Qiao Qing’s heart unexpectedly.
Qiao Qing held his phone, speechless for a moment.
What could he say?
Say I’ve already decided to let go of you?
In fact, he wanted to question more.
To question Lin Jinbai.
Why talk to him like this if he didn’t like him?
Why act like he couldn’t bear to let him go if he didn’t like him?
What exactly did he, Qiao Qing, count for in his heart?
In the end, thousands of words only turned into a dry: “I’m hanging up.”
Without waiting for Lin Jinbai’s response, he directly pressed the hang-up key.
The phone screen went dark, and silence returned to the room.
Qiao Qing leaned on the sofa, looking at the bright morning light outside the window, but feeling like a huge stone was pressing on his heart.
He rubbed the space between his eyebrows and was just about to force himself to get up and do something when the doorbell rang.
Walking to the door and looking through the peephole, it was Shen Youli.
He was also carrying steaming hot breakfast.
Opening the door, Shen Youli smiled and handed over the breakfast:
“Estimated you should be awake, bought the soup dumplings and soy milk from that place you said you liked last time.”
His gaze stayed on Qiao Qing’s face for a moment, keenly capturing the fatigue and gloom that hadn’t completely faded.
“What’s wrong? Didn’t sleep well? Or… something happened?”
Qiao Qing stepped aside to let him in, placed the breakfast on the dining table, hesitated for a moment, but still told the truth.
“Just got a call from Lin Jinbai. I have to… go back there tomorrow afternoon to pack my things.”
The smile on Shen Youli’s face faded a bit, and a hint of hard-to-detect tension flashed in his eyes.
He was silent for a few seconds, then spoke with a voice that was still gentle but carried persistence: “I’ll go with you.”
“No need.”
Qiao Qing instinctively refused, shaking his head.
“The matters between the two of us… still need to be resolved by the two of us ourselves.”
Shen Youli looked fixedly into his eyes.
“Qiao Qing,” he said softly, his voice carrying a rare apprehension.
“I’m afraid if you go… you won’t come back.”
Qiao Qing was stunned for a moment upon hearing this, then laughed in spite of himself: “How could that be? I’m just going to pack things and make a complete break.”
He felt Shen Youli’s worry was a bit redundant.
“I’m afraid…”
Shen Youli took a step forward, closing the distance between them.
His gaze was tightly locked on Qiao Qing, his voice even lower, carrying a hint of uncertainty.
“I’m afraid those days in the hospital were a beautiful dream I stole.”
“Now the dream is over, you’ve returned to a familiar place, met a familiar person… and everything goes back to the starting point.”
His words were full of unease, making the smile on Qiao Qing’s face gradually fade.
He only then realized that Shen Youli’s worry wasn’t groundless.
His own crush that lasted over ten years might truly be an insurmountable mountain in the eyes of the other person.
Qiao Qing sighed and smiled gently.
“Don’t worry, I’ll come back.”
He looked into Shen Youli’s eyes and said word by word.
“He’s a straight man and doesn’t like me. Even if I take my heart out and hold it in front of him, he won’t give it a second look; instead, he’ll find it disgusting.”
“What’s the use of me rushing to stick to him, other than inviting humiliation? It’s better to stay far away.”
These words seemed to be said to Shen Youli, but even more so to Qiao Qing himself.
Shen Youli carefully discerned the emotions in his eyes, as if confirming how much of those words were sincere.
After a long while, the unease in his eyes faded slightly, but he still wasn’t at ease and insisted on getting a definite guarantee.
“Then you must come back.”
As Shen Youli spoke, he suddenly solemnly extended his pinky finger toward Qiao Qing.
“Let’s make a pinky promise.”
Qiao Qing looked at the slender pinky finger in front of him, stunned again, then a bit between laughter and tears,
“Dr. Shen, how old are you? This is a child’s game, right?”
“I don’t care.”
Shen Youli stubbornly held up his pinky, his eyes burning as he looked at him, carrying a bit of irresistible dominance.
“You must promise me. Once we make a pinky promise, no going back.”
Looking at his rare childish appearance, the bit of gloom brought by Lin Jinbai in Qiao Qing’s heart was strangely dispersed.
He shook his head helplessly, but a smile involuntarily hooked the corners of his mouth.
“Okay.”
He responded softly and also extended his own pinky, hooking it with Shen Youli’s.
Their pinkies were tightly hooked together, a warm touch coming from where their skin met.
“Pinky promise, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, never change for a hundred years.”
Shen Youli murmured, his gaze incredibly serious.
Qiao Qing looked at his focused profile, feeling the strength and temperature coming from between their fingers.
The place in his heart that had been desolate for a long time seemed to have been injected with a stream of warm current.
“Yeah, won’t change for a hundred years.”
Qiao Qing responded softly, his hooked finger applying a bit of pressure.