Chapter 1#
Offerings to the Homophobic Straight Man: Crematorium 1#
“So… you’re gay?”
Lin Jinbai’s voice was very soft, yet it was like a sharp knife suspended over both their hearts.
He was wearing a well-tailored high-end suit, which was now slightly disheveled due to his agitation.
Qiao Qing looked up at him, his lips curling into a self-deprecating arc.
“What, do you find it disgusting?”
“Yes, disgusting.”
Lin Jinbai irritably tugged at his tie, answering without a hint of hesitation.
“But I just happen to like you.”
Qiao Qing looked at him with bloodshot eyes, his voice lowering, carrying the weight of years of accumulated exhaustion.
“From high school until now…”
Before he could finish, a glass of cold water was splashed in his face.
Water droplets dripped from Qiao Qing’s hair, trailing down his stiff face.
Lin Jinbai stood there, his expression cold and stern: “Think carefully before you speak again. Don’t make it so we can’t even be friends.”
“Friends…” Qiao Qing repeated the word softly, then suddenly laughed, a laugh filled with bitterness.
“Friends for over ten years…”
“Have you ever seen friends living together for seven or eight years?”
“Have you ever seen a friend who does the laundry and cooks every day for another?”
“Have you ever seen friends sleeping in the same bed?”
“Have you ever seen friends traveling around the world together?”
“Have you ever seen friends spending every birthday and holiday together…”
His voice gradually rose, each question hitting like a heavy hammer.
“Why won’t you just admit it? You like me too…”
“I don’t like you. I only see you as a friend.”
Lin Jinbai interrupted him, his tone as hard and blunt as a stone.
“Then would you let anyone else do these things for you?” Qiao Qing countered.
Lin Jinbai fell silent.
The only sound left in the living room was the ticking of the wall clock.
“All these years, and in the end, just friends…”
Qiao Qing covered his face and laughed muffledly, but tears shimmered at the corners of his eyes.
“Did I ask you to do it? Did I force you to do these things?!”
Lin Jinbai suddenly became agitated, veins bulging at his temples.
“If you didn’t do it, I could have hired a housekeeper! You chose to be a submissive idiot on your own. I don’t accept it, and now you feel like I’ve wronged you?”
“Yes! I was submissive! I’m cheap! I deserve it! I’m fucking asking for it!”
Qiao Qing tore off the apron he was wearing. It was a gift from Lin Jinbai for his birthday last year, printed with two cute kittens.
He threw the apron violently to the ground.
Then, with a sudden sweep of his hand, he sent all the bowls and plates on the table crashing to the floor.
The sound of porcelain shattering exploded in the room, just like their broken relationship.
Today was Qiao Qing’s thirtieth birthday.
He had specially ordered a cake and meticulously prepared a large table of dishes, wanting to celebrate with the person who had accompanied him for over a decade.
From graduation to now, they had lived together in this house for eight years.
Every piece of furniture here had been chosen by them together; they had all witnessed their laughter.
“Calm yourself down. I’m going back to the old family mansion to stay for today.”
Lin Jinbai avoided his bloodshot eyes, grabbed his keys and suit jacket, and headed for the door.
“If you leave, don’t ever come back!” Qiao Qing shouted at his retreating back.
Lin Jinbai’s footsteps paused slightly at the door, but he didn’t look back.
The door closed with a “click.”
Qiao Qing slowly slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. He pulled a cigarette pack from his pocket and, with trembling hands, lit one.
Amidst the swirling smoke, he recalled every detail of how he had followed Lin Jinbai like a “licking dog” all these years.
He was an unacknowledged illegitimate son of the Qiao family, and Lin Jinbai was a child whose parents died early and was raised in his grandfather’s home.
Both of them were existences that the other children in the compound looked down upon.
Therefore, from a very young age, they learned to huddle together for warmth, living and eating together.
Starting from elementary school, he would ride his bicycle every day, carrying Lin Jinbai to school.
In middle school, when Lin Jinbai was bullied by the other kids because of his withdrawn personality, he fought for him.
His life-risking ferocity scared everyone, and from then on, no one dared to trouble them again.
In high school, he helped Lin Jinbai with his homework and brought him breakfast. In university, when Lin Jinbai couldn’t get used to the canteen food, he cooked for him every day.
After starting work, he gave up an opportunity to go abroad for him, and all these years, he had been managing this home.
Except for sleeping together, they had done everything couples do, yet Lin Jinbai refused to acknowledge their relationship.
In the end, it only earned him a “disgusting.” It was truly laughable.
After finishing the cigarette, he stood up to clean up the mess.
A shard of porcelain cut his finger, but he just casually wiped it with a tissue.
Looking at the intact cake on the table, he still opened it, cut a piece for himself, and even lit a candle.
The flickering candlelight reflected on his face, looking exceptionally lonely.
When he folded his hands to make a wish, he froze.
He was thirty now; what wish could he still make?
Pray that Lin Jinbai would fall in love with him?
Or pray that he would stop loving him?
He blew out the candle directly and started eating the cake.
The cake was delicious—the cream was silky, the sponge was soft. It was his favorite strawberry flavor.
Perhaps it was too sweet, because as Qiao Qing ate, his tears fell again.
Salty tears mixed with the cloying cream, forming a strange taste.
As he wiped his eyes, he thought.
It turns out you can still cry while eating something sweet.
After finishing the last bite of cake, Qiao Qing mechanically threw the paper plate into the trash and gathered the mess on the floor into a garbage bag.
The bag was heavy, just like his mood at this moment.
He carried the trash bag downstairs. The night wind hit his face, carrying the chill of early autumn.
The streetlights stretched his shadow very long. He walked aimlessly through the neighborhood, wanting to use the cold night wind to disperse the stagnation in his heart.
Just as he reached the entrance of the complex, a sudden pair of blinding headlights tore through the night, shining directly at him.
Qiao Qing subconsciously turned his head, only to see an out-of-control car, like a wild beast off its leash, crashing through the guardrail and speeding towards him.
Time was infinitely stretched at this moment; he could even see the terrified expression of the driver behind the windshield.
He instinctively turned his body but still couldn’t avoid the violent impact.
His body was thrown into the air by the massive force, the world spinning and overturning before his eyes, before he hit the ground heavily.
Intense pain instantly surged through his body, and his consciousness quickly dissipated like a receding tide.
Before completely losing consciousness, one last thought flashed through Qiao Qing’s mind.
This life has truly been a regret.
Regret for not receiving a response, regret for ending so abruptly, regret that there wasn’t even a proper farewell between them.
[If you were given another chance, would you still make the same choice?]
A cold voice rang out in the void.
[No.]
Qiao Qing answered with his last shred of consciousness.
[Ding! Crematorium No. 1 activated.]
The cold voice rang out once more, and then, everything fell into silence.