Chapter 116#
“I will love you well.”#
The sound of water gradually ceased, the bathroom door opened from the inside, and hot steam surged out impatiently.
Qin Mu was draped in a bathrobe, the belt left untied, hanging open casually. In his arms, he held a thin figure wrapped in a long bath towel.
A small section of a fair, bony ankle peeked out from his forearm, still tinged with a faint layer of pink.
He carelessly ran a hand through his damp hair, a satisfied smile playing on his lips as he walked barefoot across the floor, leaving behind faint footprints of water.
Jian Yunchen was so exhausted he couldn’t even open his eyes. After being tucked into bed, he let out a couple of low, frowning groans.
Qin Mu leaned over to lightly brush against the corner of his mouth. Jian Yunchen’s furrowed brow smoothed out, and he slowly drifted off to sleep.
He turned to tidy up the messy bathroom. Once the lights were turned off, the only thing left in the room was the small patch of warm yellow light from the bedside lamp.
The light enveloped Jian Yunchen’s slightly rising and falling body as the sound of shallow breathing echoed softly.
Qin Mu switched off the light and got into bed. In the darkness, Jian Yunchen instinctively groped for him and pressed close to his chest. Qin Mu curled his lips and reached out to pull him into his arms.
“Mmh…” a fragmented moan escaped. Jian Yunchen kept his eyes closed and pushed his face away. “No more, Qin Mu… I still have to work tomorrow…”
Qin Mu didn’t speak; he just buried his face in the side of the other’s shoulder, inhaling deeply.
“I won’t do anything,” he said, muffled against his chest.
Jian Yunchen gave a light hum, cradled Qin Mu’s head, and closed his eyes.
Having been interrupted, his sleepiness slowly dissipated. Jian Yunchen blinked slowly in the deep of the night.
“Why aren’t you sleeping? Hmm?” Qin Mu asked softly, pressing against his cheek.
“Qin Mu…” Jian Yunchen softly called his name, his fingertips firmly gripping the hem of Qin Mu’s clothes.
Qin Mu stroked his soft hair. The slightly damp strands slid through his fingers, causing his heart to soften involuntarily.
Jian Yunchen lowered his eyes. “Today, Jiang Yunhan came to see me.”
“Mhm.” Qin Mu continued stroking his hair, responding softly. “Did he come to beg you to help Jiang Sheng get out?”
Jian Yunchen paused, his eyelashes trembling as he slowly looked at him. “How did you know?”
Qin Mu chuckled. “Just a guess.”
His palm kneaded the slightly protruding bone at the back of the other’s neck as their foreheads rested against each other. In the dim light, two pairs of bright eyes met in a hazy gaze.
He curled his lips, a fragmented smile shimmering in the depths of his eyes. “If I said I had mind-reading powers and knew exactly what you were thinking, would you believe me?”
Jian Yunchen was easily bewitched by those beautiful eyes. He stared blankly for a long moment before slowly shaking his head.
That was just a story for children; how could Qin Mu truly know what he was thinking?
Qin Mu leaned in closer, the curve of his lips becoming somewhat meaningful. “Then if I really get it right, do I get a reward?”
Jian Yunchen started, his fingertips instinctively tightening. He pursed his lips, his voice trembling slightly:
“What… what do you want?”
Would he want to leave?
Jian Yunchen’s mind raced with wild thoughts.
Qin Mu leaned close to his ear. His warm breath spiraled directly into Jian Yunchen’s body through the ear canal, stirring a wave of fine tremors.
“If I’m right… buy two more boxes on the way home from work tomorrow. We’re almost out.”
Jian Yunchen’s clenched fingertips shook. He turned his face away and buried his burning face in the pillow. After a long while, a muffled “Okay” came out.
Qin Mu looked down at his bright red earlobes and laughed softly. His fingers slowly toyed with them as his voice rang out tenderly in the cool night: “Do you think that because I dealt with Jiang Sheng, I’ve made things difficult for you?”
“How could I?” Jian Yunchen suddenly looked up, propping himself up to look at Qin Mu as he hurriedly explained: “I’ve never thought that. I know you dealt with Jiang Sheng because of me, how could I possibly turn around—”
Qin Mu sighed softly and pulled the half-sitting Jian Yunchen into his arms. His palm gently stroked his back, soothing his agitated emotions.
“So, do you feel like this is all your fault?”
Jian Yunchen froze at the question, clutching Qin Mu’s clothes tightly.
“You think that because of you, I went after Jiang Sheng, which led to me ending up like this. Jiang Sheng is going to prison because of you, and when Jiang Yunhan came to beg you, he said nothing more than those words—telling you not to hate him.”
“Jiang Sheng is innocent, Jiang Yunhan is innocent too. You can’t bring yourself to hate Jian Xin, and you certainly can’t hate me, who did it for you.”
“So, after all that hating, you’ve started hating yourself again.”
“Hating your own powerlessness, hating your own weakness. That’s why you only dare to shrink into my arms in the middle of the night and tell me quietly.”
“Am I right?”
Qin Mu’s words were clear and gentle. Word by word, he dissected the thing Jian Yunchen feared most in the depths of his heart.
Buried in Qin Mu’s embrace, the man’s powerful and pleasant scent surrounded him completely.
Jian Yunchen sniffled. “That’s not it. You’re wrong.”
“I do hate him.”
“Jiang Yunhan said that Jiang Sheng didn’t know I existed, so my past suffering shouldn’t be blamed on him. It wasn’t his fault Jian Xin was imprisoned, and it wasn’t his fault I was taken away right after I was born.”
“He said as long as I’m willing to let Jiang Sheng out, he’ll give me everything I want.”
Jian Yunchen’s voice began to tremble.
“Jiang Yunhan was wrong.” He squeezed Qin Mu’s lapel, and his tightly closed eyes began to grow moist. “Jiang Sheng actually knew about me.”
“He knew about me since I was eighteen, but he refused to acknowledge me.”
“Why does nobody want me?”
“Am I really that bad?”
“I’ve clearly worked so hard.”
“I really…” Jian Yunchen’s tears kept pouring out. Recalling those days of running around, the grievances and bitterness in his heart turned into cold tears that fell continuously. “Really… have worked so hard already.”
Whether it was before being recognized or after, he had been doing his utmost to prove himself.
He wanted to prove to everyone that he could do the same things Jiang Yunhan did.
Even better.
The harder he worked and the more he cared, the more he refused to admit his own incompetence after constant setbacks and failures.
Losing isn’t hard; admitting that you’ve lost is the hard part.
Qin Mu held Jian Yunchen gently, his warm palms constantly soothing him.
He cupped Jian Yunchen’s cheeks, his thumb lightly wiping away the cold tears.
The tears made Jian Yunchen’s eyes crystal clear. With a tremble of his eyelashes, another tear rolled down.
Qin Mu thought that Jian Yunchen really was a bad guy.
His tears seemed endless; he was always suffering so much grievance outside, only to run back and make his heart ache.
“It doesn’t matter who you hate,” Qin Mu said, looking down into his eyes. “You only need to love me well.”
“Love me, and I won’t let you be sad again.”
Jian Yunchen’s breath hitched. He looked into Qin Mu’s eyes as if confirming the truth of those words.
Suddenly, he felt burned by the sincerity in Qin Mu’s gaze.
His Adam’s apple moved slightly, and he tightened his grip on Qin Mu’s wrist.
“If I love you, will you love me?”
Qin Mu leaned in, and a cool kiss fell upon his burning eyelids.
Jian Yunchen’s eyelashes trembled violently.
He was so startled his tears even stopped.
“Yes,” Qin Mu murmured softly. His voice fell upon his eyelashes, and upon his heart.
“I will love you well.”