Chapter 36#
Kill That Emperor (36)#
Shen Jue felt a sting on his lips and was tackled to the ground.
He frowned at the person before him. The tips of Murong Xiu’s long hair by his cheeks gently brushed across his face, leaving a ticklish sensation. Shen Jue struggled with effort, but still remained firmly pinned beneath the other.
“Murong Xiu!” Shen Jue shouted Murong Xiu’s name as he struggled. He turned his face away; the half of his cheek that had been kissed was already burning hot. “Is this what you want?”
Murong Xiu lowered his head, using the tip of his nose to affectionately nuzzle Shen Jue’s earlobe, and asked in a low voice, “What?”
Shen Jue let out a soft breath, adjusted his breathing, and then said, “If we do it, will you be willing to die?”
Murong Xiu felt almost amused despite himself. How could there be such an absurd thing in this world?
“What do you take yourself for? That I would have to die just because I slept with you?” he said through gritted teeth.
Shen Jue turned his face; his gaze was exceptionally calm. “If you’re unwilling, then I am too. If you insist on forcing this, it’s rape. Though I cannot kill you, I have plenty of ways to end myself. You can try.”
Murong Xiu choked. His gaze was locked tightly on Shen Jue’s face. This Murong Xiu was indeed wicked in this life, but he hadn’t forgotten the panic he felt in his previous life when he was nearly raped by Ni Xinyan. That disgust still haunted him.
Murong Xiu had truly fallen in love. He didn’t want Shen Jue to end up like him.
So, he slowly sat up, his beautiful face entirely expressionless.
Shen Jue didn’t move. He just stared fixedly at Murong Xiu, waiting for an answer.
If Murong Xiu refused, and he couldn’t forcibly kill him, then he would have no choice but to kill himself and enter the next cycle.
No one knew how long passed before Murong Xiu finally spoke. “Fine. I agree. You can kill me. But I have a condition. Once I’ve grown tired of you, you can kill me.”
Upon hearing this, Shen Jue immediately frowned. “No. How am I supposed to know when you’ll grow tired?”
Murong Xiu let out a cold laugh, looking at Shen Jue with sarcasm. “What? Do you think your looks are enough to make me infatuated?”
Shen Jue propped himself up on his elbows and sat up. He ignored Murong Xiu’s sarcasm and said, “You need to give me a specific time, or I won’t agree.”
Murong Xiu looked at Shen Jue, his heart growing colder and colder. Shen Jue was using his own body as a bargaining chip, trading for Murong Xiu’s life. Shen Jue seemed to care nothing about this, only about whether he could kill him. Perhaps the person he loved simply had no heart.
He had thought that being reborn was a second chance from heaven, an opportunity to accomplish what he hadn’t in his previous life. But maybe heaven had only shown him that the person he loved not only didn’t love him back, but only wanted him dead.
“Shen Jue, can I ask why you must kill me?” Murong Xiu said softly.
Shen Jue hesitated for a moment. “I can’t tell you, but I have a reason I must kill you.”
Murong Xiu found it increasingly ironic. Shen Jue wouldn’t even give him a reason for wanting him dead. He stood up, looking down at Shen Jue sitting on the ground. “After this battle is over, whether I win or lose, I will willingly die at your hands. Is that acceptable?”
“Fine,” said Shen Jue.
A faint, bleak smile curled at the corner of Murong Xiu’s lips. “Then you must also agree to two conditions. First, during the war, you must learn to love me, even if it’s just an act. Second, after I die, you cannot be with Ni Xinyan.”
Shen Jue hardly hesitated. “Alright.”
Murong Xiu nodded. He blinked quickly, holding back the tears in his eyes. “Good. Then it’s settled.” He turned around first, leaving the abandoned temple. The wound on his back was still bleeding, staining the back of his clothes red.
Shen Jue followed.
Murong Xiu let the wound on his back bleed as he walked slowly ahead. After a moment’s thought, Shen Jue stepped forward and said, “You should treat your wound first.”
Murong Xiu didn’t look at him and kept walking. Shen Jue frowned and reached out to grab Murong Xiu. “Your wound needs treatment.”
“No need. This little scratch is nothing. Don’t worry, I’ll die only by your hand.” Murong Xiu stopped walking and turned to look at Shen Jue, his eyes devoid of any emotion. “Besides, I haven’t even tasted you yet. How could I die? You want my life, so I should at least get to sleep with you a few times, right?”
He gave a faint smile at the end.
Shen Jue let go. Seeing Murong Xiu’s current state, he didn’t try to stop him further.
Once they returned to the mansion, Murong Xiu didn’t speak to Shen Jue. He headed straight for the study. His subordinates, seeing him injured, quickly called for a doctor and crowded around to fuss over him. Shen Jue watched Murong Xiu surrounded by the crowd, stood there for a moment, and then returned to his room.
The two men who had been guarding him were already awake. Seeing him return, one of them snorted and cursed, “The master treated you so well, and you still go running off with others…” Before he could finish, the other grabbed him. “Enough, don’t say that. The young master is back.”
He turned to Shen Jue. “You must be tired from going out, young master. I’ll boil some water for you to bathe.”
Shen Jue nodded and went into the room.
And so that night passed.
From the second day onward, no one guarded Shen Jue anymore. It was as if Murong Xiu no longer cared whether Shen Jue stayed or left. In the following days, Shen Jue didn’t see Murong Xiu at all.
Until one late night, a reeking-of-alcohol Murong Xiu appeared in his room.
Shen Jue had just finished bathing and was sitting on a couch by the window, wringing the water from his hair.
Murong Xiu was wearing a red robe, the high-waisted, figure-hugging garment making him look like a jade tree in the wind. He carried a flask of wine and slowly paced to Shen Jue’s side. His fair fingers lifted Shen Jue’s chin. “Just finished bathing?”
Shen Jue looked at Murong Xiu. “Mm.”
“Good.” Murong Xiu curled his lips. “Saves trouble.”
He tilted his head back and took a large gulp of wine. He drank a bit too hastily, and some wine inevitably trickled down his neck into his clothes. He was so reckless and dissolute, a far cry from his former self-restraint.
After draining the flask, Murong Xiu hurled it violently to the floor. He wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, let out a self-deprecating laugh, and then pressed himself toward Shen Jue.
As he undressed Shen Jue, he said nothing, only pressing his lips tightly together. And Shen Jue said nothing either; he let Murong Xiu move over him.
Murong Xiu forced open the clam shell, touching the tender flesh inside. The corners of his eyes were faintly red. As time passed, his eyes grew redder and redder, and in the end, tears streamed down his face. Tears fell along his cheeks, landing on Shen Jue’s eyelashes.
Shen Jue had been keeping his eyes closed. When the tear landed, he opened his eyes. Seeing Murong Xiu’s tear-streaked face, he was visibly startled. After a long moment, he raised his hand and touched the tears on Murong Xiu’s face. “You… why are you crying?”
Murong Xiu frowned, pulled the thin blanket aside, and roughly wiped his face. “I’m not crying,” he said coldly.
Shen Jue frowned slightly, not quite understanding why the other would tell such an obvious lie.
…
From that night on, Murong Xiu came to Shen Jue’s room late every night. Even if Shen Jue was asleep, Murong Xiu would wake him from his slumber. Sometimes Shen Jue got angry and would hit Murong Xiu, but Murong Xiu seemed like a different person. When Shen Jue hit him, he didn’t dodge, only focused on biting into this piece of fat meat Shen Jue, as if there would be no next meal.
If Shen Jue resisted too fiercely, Murong Xiu would lightly throw out the line, “You have to let me die as a well-fed ghost, don’t you?”
Shen Jue pursed his lips in displeasure, which only made Murong Xiu laugh.
He bent down and kissed Shen Jue’s lips. “Bear with it. You won’t have to bear it much longer.”
Even though he was smiling, his eyes were serious.
Sometimes, when Murong Xiu came to find Shen Jue, he wouldn’t do that thing. He would just hold Shen Jue all night, his eyes never closing. He would stare unblinkingly at the person in his arms, his gaze lingering on Shen Jue’s brows and eyes, his red lips—as if engraving this final image of him into his heart.
Three months passed quickly.
Murong Xiu stopped coming late at night. From the mansion’s servants, Shen Jue heard that the war front was in dire straits.
When Murong Xiu appeared before Shen Jue again, he handed Shen Jue a dagger.
It was exactly the same dagger that Shen Jue had used to kill Murong Xiu in the previous life.
“Use this to kill me when the time comes,” Murong Xiu said softly. “This battle is almost over, Shen Jue. I’m going to lose.”
Shen Jue stroked the dagger in his hand without speaking. After a moment, he raised his head to look at Murong Xiu. “So, are we doing it today?”
Murong Xiu was stunned. Then he burst into loud laughter, but as he laughed, tears streamed from his eyes.
He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes with his fingers. “Shen Jue, you really have no heart. I concede defeat.”
With that, he turned and walked away. The next time he appeared before Shen Jue, his body and face were covered in blood.
Murong Xiu had lost. The Murong Kingdom, stripped of its Prince of Eternal Peace, had suffered a crushing defeat. Murong Xiu’s military advisor had even been shot dead by Ni Xinyan with a single arrow. In truth, Ni Xinyan could have aimed that arrow at Murong Xiu, but he changed its trajectory at the last moment. Murong Xiu understood Ni Xinyan’s meaning.
Ni Xinyan wanted Murong Xiu to watch his own army retreat step by step, to be utterly annihilated.
On the night of total defeat, Murong Xiu fled back to the mansion, bathed in blood. But as he approached Shen Jue’s room, he slowed his steps, as if afraid to disturb the person inside. Shen Jue had long sensed that Murong Xiu might have lost the battle, because the maids in the mansion had fled one by one, and eventually, not even breakfast was prepared.
When Murong Xiu entered, Shen Jue was standing by the window. Hearing the sound, he turned around.
Murong Xiu’s armor was entirely covered in blood. He took off the heavy helmet from his head and gently placed it on the table. “A-Jue, kill me now.” He even smiled. “You still have that dagger, right? Use it to kill me.”
This was the first time he had called Shen Jue “A-Jue.”
Shen Jue was silent for a moment, then went back into the inner room to retrieve the dagger.
Murong Xiu went to the washroom to strip off his armor and wash his face. Then he walked out.
When he saw Shen Jue holding the dagger, an involuntary smile appeared on his face. He walked slowly to Shen Jue, personally unsheathed the dagger, and said, “A-Jue, will killing me make you happy?”
Without hesitation, Shen Jue nodded.
Murong Xiu gave a faint smile. “That’s good. As long as you’re happy.” He paused. “After I die, you should run. I’ve left my waist token on the table, and there’s some money in the chests in this room. Take it and go. You don’t have to collect my corpse… Ah, I suppose you wouldn’t collect my corpse anyway. I was overthinking.”
He looked down at Shen Jue, his long lashes concealing the emotions in his eyes. The corners of his lips were still curved up. He reached out, took Shen Jue’s hand holding the dagger, and aimed it at the position of his own heart. “A-Jue, do it.”
Shen Jue looked at Murong Xiu. After a moment, he pushed his hand forward.
The sound of flesh being pierced by the dagger.
Murong Xiu bent over slightly. With trembling hands, he grabbed Shen Jue’s sleeve. “A-Jue, can you… take the initiative… to kiss me?”
He spoke with difficulty.
Because of the pain, he couldn’t straighten his back. His body was even starting to slide down, but he stubbornly clung to Shen Jue’s sleeve, his eyes fixed on the other.
“A-Jue, I beg you.”
Shen Jue looked down at Murong Xiu. Even as Murong Xiu slid to the floor, he said nothing and did nothing.
Murong Xiu lay on the ground, giving Shen Jue a miserable smile.
His A-Jue didn’t love him at all.
On the battlefield today, he had nearly died several times, but he thought he couldn’t die there. After all, he had promised Shen Jue.
He didn’t want to see Shen Jue’s disappointed expression.
Murong Xiu reached out and touched Shen Jue’s boot. In truth, these boots had been secretly made by him. He had measured Shen Jue’s feet at night, made the boots, and had a maid deliver them. He had embroidered both his and Shen Jue’s names on the insoles. If one day Shen Jue happened to see them, would he remember him?
“A-Jue.” Murong Xiu’s voice was weak. The rise and fall of his chest had become very faint. “If there is a next life…”
If there was a next life, what would he do?
Murong Xiu never finished that sentence. He breathed his last.
Shen Jue watched Murong Xiu die. He stood there for a long time, then his expression turned to one of shock and confusion.
Why had this illusion realm not dissipated yet?
He had clearly already killed Murong Xiu.