Chapter 45#
I beg of you, Qi Xu, I love you very much. …#
Si Jingheng stood at the doorway, utterly helpless. He couldn’t chase after them either. He could only watch helplessly as Qi Xu walked away, pulling and being pulled by another man, their figures disappearing around the corner of the stairs.
A dull ache quickly spread from his heart, sharper than the swelling on his cheek or the stinging pain at the corner of his mouth.
He couldn’t chase after him. Qi Xu’s gaze just now had been cold enough—as cold as icicles in the dead of winter. If he took another step forward, he would only be pushed away completely, unable to keep even this last remaining foothold.
Si Jingheng suppressed his churning emotions, turned, and pushed open the door to the room.
He needed to find another way.
The warmth inside the room enveloped him instantly, dispelling the chill on his body. Si Jingheng stood at the entrance, his gaze slowly scanning the entire space.
The room was filled with a warm and cozy atmosphere. Light beige wallpaper, natural wood-colored flooring, a thick plush rug spread out near the window with two plump bunny pillows on it, a knitted blanket draped over the sofa with tiny vine patterns embroidered on the edges, and even the curtains were made of soft chiffon, looking soft and comfortable.
A faint, clean fragrance lingered in the air. Everything was arranged with absolute neatness, the tabletops were spotless, and even the books on the shelves were orderly arranged by size. It was obvious that the owner had put a great deal of heart into maintaining it.
Except… why did it feel somewhat familiar?
Si Jingheng’s heart suddenly clenched. He walked quickly to the window, watching the ginkgo leaves falling outside, then turned back to look at the layout of the room. He remembered a night when he had gone to find Qi Xu, and there was a simple draft design on the table. At the time, he had called Qi Xu childish.
Had Qi Xu planned on leaving so early on?
Si Jingheng clutched his head with both hands. Regret washed over him like a tidal wave, leaving him almost suffocated.
He had once possessed such a wonderful Qi Xu, had held such a pure affection, yet he had destroyed it all with his own hands. Now, Qi Xu had truly left him, living in a place of his own design, with someone else by his side.
Meanwhile, he could only hide like an intruder in this room that replicated Qi Xu’s dreams, tasting the bitter fruit of his own sowing.
Downstairs.
Qi Xu pulled He Qingshi into the lobby. He Qingshi’s brow was tightly knit, his voice filled with confusion and worry: “Brother Xu, what on earth are you thinking? He… hurt you so badly before. Why are you still letting him stay here?”
Qi Xu leaned against the reception desk, his fingertips absentmindedly brushing the wooden edge.
He was the one in the wrong first. Just now, he had beaten Si Jingheng indiscriminately, acting solely on his own assumptions that Si Jingheng was involved with those two girls. But the past wounds were too deep, and Si Jingheng’s sudden appearance had caused him to lose his mind in an instant.
“Don’t ask anymore. I misunderstood him. He’s only staying for one night and will leave tomorrow.”
“Is he really only staying for one night?”
Avoiding He Qingshi’s searching gaze, Qi Xu looked out the window and said softly, “It’s all in the past.”
After a long while, as if having made a definitive resolution, his voice dropped so low it was barely audible: “I don’t want to like him anymore.”
These few words seemed to exhaust all of his strength.
Looking at his pale profile, He Qingshi’s mind filled with even more doubts, but seeing Qi Xu’s exhausted state, he ultimately swallowed the rest of his words and simply nodded: “Okay, then you must make him leave tomorrow. Call me anytime if anything happens.”
Qi Xu gave an “Mhm” and said nothing more.
After dinner, Qi Xu returned to his room to rest.
Si Jingheng had not come out once since then.
Reason dictated that he should feel relieved, but…
The moment the thought arose, Qi Xu forcefully suppressed it. He cursed himself in his mind for being so spineless. A person like Si Jingheng, pampered and raised in luxury from childhood, had received a slap and a punch; he probably hated him to death by now. Why would he need his concern? Besides, things between them had ended long ago. His worry was nothing but redundant self-indulgence.
After washing up, Qi Xu changed into a pair of loose cotton pajamas and lay down in bed.
His phone screen suddenly lit up. It was a message from He Qingshi:
[Brother Xu, are you feeling any better? I was too impulsive this afternoon, I shouldn’t have laid hands on him.]
Staring at the message, Qi Xu tapped his fingers on the screen and replied:
[It’s fine, really. I know you were doing it for my own good, don’t worry about it.]
[Okay. Goodnight, Brother Xu.]
[Goodnight.]
Naituan quickly fell asleep in the dog bed beside the bed, his little head buried in his paws. He let out soft, occasional snores and smacked his lips a few times, as if dreaming of something delicious.
Turning on his side, Qi Xu watched Naituan’s cute sleeping form, and a faint smile couldn’t help but tug at the corner of his lips.
Before he knew it, Qi Xu rolled over, still feeling as though his heart were on a roller coaster, unsteady and hovering.
Insomnia had struck again.
Qi Xu closed his eyes, trying to calm himself, but his mind remained exceptionally alert.
It had been a long time since he had suffered through such torment.
Everything was clearly getting back on track, yet Si Jingheng’s mere appearance had shattered all of it with ease. It felt like he was back in those days—struggling through anticipation and disappointment day after day, overjoyed by a single word from Si Jingheng, devastated by one of his cold glances, living like a spineless accessory.
That feeling was truly agonizing.
Time ticked away second by second, the wall clock’s ticking sound exceptionally clear.
Qi Xu glanced at the time; it was already past one in the morning.
Sighing, he was about to get up to get a glass of water when the phone in the room suddenly rang.
This was an internal line he had specially installed, connected to the front desk. If the night shift staff failed to answer a guest’s call in time, it would automatically route to him, all to ensure better service for the guests.
At this hour, had a guest run into some emergency?
Qi Xu quickly picked up the receiver. Before he could make a sound, a familiar male voice came from the other end: “Hello, is there a pharmacy nearby?”
It was Si Jingheng.
Qi Xu’s body froze. His fingers tightened slightly around the receiver. He hadn’t expected that the person calling him at this hour would be Si Jingheng.
Si Jingheng on the other end seemed a bit anxious, asking further: “Or does this place provide any emergency medical services?”
Qi Xu swallowed and asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
Si Jingheng hadn’t expected Qi Xu to answer either. His heart suddenly felt like it had been struck by something, thumping rapidly as if to burst from his chest. His hand holding the phone trembled slightly. It took him a while to find his voice, his tone laced with embarrassment: “Um… I, my facial injuries might be inflamed, and I have a bit of a fever. I wanted to buy some fever reducers and anti-inflammatory medicine.”
Still holding the phone, Qi Xu got out of bed, stepping barefoot onto the plush mat on the floor. He walked over to the cabinet in the corner of the room and opened the middle drawer. Inside was a white first-aid kit containing common medicine—fever reducers, anti-inflammatory pills, iodophor, cotton swabs, and the like.
“Almost no shops around here are open after ten at night. I have some here, I’ll bring them over to you,” Qi Xu said.
Si Jingheng hesitated. He was afraid he would lose control upon seeing Qi Xu and make Qi Xu dislike him. He wanted to tell Qi Xu to just leave it at the front desk for him to pick up, but he still wanted to see Qi Xu. Thus, he said tentatively, “If it’s convenient… thank you.”
“Mhm.” Qi Xu hung up the phone, picked up the medical kit, slid into his slippers, gently closed the door behind him, and headed toward the third floor.
The hallway lights were very dim—a soft, warm yellow to avoid disturbing the resting guests. Qi Xu’s steps were very light. Walking up to Room 304, he hesitated for a moment, then raised his hand and knocked softly on the door.
Knock, knock, knock—
The door opened quickly.
Si Jingheng stood behind the door, having already changed out of his daytime suit and coat into a white cotton shirt. Qi Xu instantly saw the injuries on Si Jingheng’s face.
On his left cheek, the slap mark had darkened since the afternoon, showing an unnatural dark red. The cut at the corner of his mouth was also slightly inflamed and swollen, to the point where wet blood could still be seen inside.
Qi Xu frowned subconsciously. Handing over the medical kit, he said, “Apply the medicine. I’ll wait here to take the kit back.”
Si Jingheng took the medical kit, looked down to open it, and stared at the neatly arranged medicines and cotton swabs. Then he looked up at Qi Xu, his voice low: “Um… do I just apply it with the cotton swab?”
Qi Xu looked Si Jingheng up and down. Seeing the slight furrow of his brow out of not knowing how to start, he ultimately sighed. “Never mind. I’ll help you.”
Si Jingheng’s eyes lit up instantly, like finding light in the dark. He quickly stepped aside to make room: “Thank you. Come in. I—I promise I won’t do anything to you, I… it’s cold outside.”
Qi Xu said nothing and stepped inside. Si Jingheng hurriedly placed the medical kit on the table, pulled over a chair, and said pleasingly, “Have a seat.”
Qi Xu didn’t sit. He simply stood by the table, picked up a cotton swab and the iodophor, and gestured for Si Jingheng to come over.
Si Jingheng obediently walked over, sat on the chair as Qi Xu gestured, and tilted his head up so it was easier for Qi Xu to apply the medicine.
Qi Xu picked up a cotton swab, dabbed an appropriate amount of iodophor on it, and gently raised his hand. When his fingertips touched Si Jingheng’s cheek, he felt the other man’s body stiffen noticeably.
His movements were very light, carefully avoiding the worst parts of the wound as he wiped away the blood from the corner of his mouth bit by bit.
Qi Xu’s gaze rested on his face, observing it closely. Si Jingheng had excellent skin—fair and smooth, with pores barely visible under normal circumstances. Now, however, he looked somewhat pathetic due to the swelling and wounds, his eyelashes drooping slightly.
Iodophor was highly irritating. When it came into contact with the broken skin, a sharp, stinging pain shot through him. Si Jingheng winced, instinctively raising his hand to cover his face, only to be sharply scolded by Qi Xu: “Don’t move!”
As if startled, Si Jingheng stopped his movement immediately.
Just as Qi Xu was preparing to apply the anti-inflammatory ointment on Si Jingheng, his gaze accidentally fell on Si Jingheng’s left hand, which had not yet been lowered.
Si Jingheng’s fingers were long and attractive, with well-defined joints and clean, neatly trimmed nails. On his ring finger, he wore a silver ring. The design was simple and elegant, yet it reflected a glaring light under the lamp.
It was a wedding ring.
Qi Xu’s movements came to an abrupt halt.
How could he have forgotten? Si Jingheng was already engaged to Miao Mu’er. This ring was the proof of their impending marriage.
He stared at the ring, his eyes gradually turning cold.
Indeed, Si Jingheng was already someone else’s husband. He had his own family, his own wife. And he himself was nothing but a passerby in Si Jingheng’s life, an old acquaintance who had long been forgotten.
Si Jingheng’s coming here might just be a whim, or perhaps he wanted to make up for his so-called guilt. But none of this had any meaning anymore.
Qi Xu put down the cotton swab and began packing the items back into the medical kit: “Done.”
Si Jingheng was still immersed in the sensation of Qi Xu’s fingertips. That close contact had made his heart race, and he even felt a bit of attachment to it. He wanted to say something more, to keep Qi Xu there a bit longer, but Qi Xu’s next words were like a bucket of cold water dousing him from head to toe.
“Leave tomorrow,” Qi Xu’s voice was very soft, , “with you coming here alone, is your wi… is Miao Mu’er okay with it?”
He deliberately paused, ultimately unable to utter the word “wife,” choosing to speak Miao Mu’er’s name instead.
Although he had told himself many times, he still couldn’t accept that someone had obtained the rest of Si Jingheng’s life so easily.
It turned out that what he longed for but could never reach was something others could obtain on a whim.
“I called off the engagement,” Si Jingheng said nonchalantly, then looked up at Qi Xu. “Qi Xu, please forgive me for only realizing this now. I love you. In fact, I’ve loved you all along.”
Called off the engagement? Why? Would the Si family agree so easily to Si Jingheng’s reckless behavior?
Countless questions swirled in his mind, only to condense into a single sentence:
“Si Jingheng, you’re not in your right mind.”
“I am very sober, Qi Xu.” Si Jingheng raised his hand, revealing the bracelet on his wrist. “I was slow. I’ve only just realized my love for you.”
“Enough, Si Jingheng.” Qi Xu was almost hysterical. “If you want to maintain a final shred of dignity with me, please treat yourself only as a customer from this moment on! If you don’t want that, I can kick you out right now. I can easily pay you the breach of contract fee!.”
Si Jingheng’s eyelashes fluttered. He had said such cold, rejecting words to Qi Xu countless times. Like karmic retribution, all of it was now coming back to haunt him. Only now did he realize how agonizing these words of eviction felt to the recipient.
When he arrived, Si Jingheng had still carried some confidence, feeling that Qi Xu loved him so much that as long as he sincerely admitted his mistakes, Qi Xu would eventually forgive him.
But he was wrong after all. Someone new had appeared by Qi Xu’s side, someone who could make him laugh and bring him joy. Qi Xu no longer needed him.
“And another thing,” Qi Xu said. “Take back what you just said. I don’t need your love.”
Those hurts had piled up slowly, like feathers brushing against the same spot on one’s body. No matter how faint the itch, over the years, it would fester into a wound deep enough to expose the bone.
He was like a starving person, begging Si Jingheng to spare him some scraps of love every single time. But when a person starved for too long, starved to the point of numbness, eating would only make them throw up. It was the same with love. Facing the sincerity suddenly thrust before him, Qi Xu’s first reaction was doubt, followed by endless disgust.
Why did it have to be now? If it had only been a little earlier, even if he had confessed during that engagement party, Qi Xu felt he might have even accepted Si Jingheng’s lies.
Yet Si Jingheng hadn’t even wanted to lie to him one more time.
And now? Why was this person, who had suddenly and almost savagely barged into his peaceful life, saying all this now?
“Qi Xu…” Si Jingheng trembled as he grabbed his wrist. “Can you… trust me just once?”
Qi Xu spread open his hand: “Give it back to me.”
That belongs to me—my past love, my once-burning passion, and… my former self.
Give it all back to me.
From now on, we are strangers.