Chapter 41#

I don’t dare.#

Autumn in Wujiang City arrived gently. Opening the wooden lattice window of the guesthouse in the morning, a cool, moist breeze carrying the fresh fragrance of plane tree leaves rushed in, lightly swaying the stray hairs on Qi Xu’s forehead.

In the yard, the golden retriever “Naituan” was dozing under the ginkgo tree. Its fluffy golden fur was warmed by the sun. Compared to the reckless little puppy it was when it first arrived, it had now grown into a sturdy, gentle big dog.

Hearing the sound of the window opening, Naituan suddenly lifted its head. Its dark, grape-like eyes lit up, and it rushed over while wagging its big fluffy tail. Pawing at the window sill, it rubbed its wet nose against Qi Xu’s palm, letting out whines of grievance and affection.

“Hungry?” Qi Xu chuckled, his fingertips gently stroking down its back. “Wait a moment, I’ll get you breakfast right away.”

Qi Xu was wearing an off-white knit sweater with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, revealing his clean-cut wrists. The lobby had already been tidied up neatly; the natural wood-colored tables and chairs were polished to a shine, and several pots of thriving devil’s ivy, all gifts from Auntie Zhang from the restaurant next door, stood in the corner.

“Xiao Xu, morning!” Auntie Zhang’s voice came from outside the courtyard gate, carrying a bright, cheerful laugh. “Just-steamed osmanthus cake! I brought some over for you and Qingshi.”

Qi Xu hurried out to greet her, taking the bamboo basket from her hands. Instantly, the sweet and sticky aroma of osmanthus drifted around his nose. “I’m troubling you again, Auntie,” he said, a bit embarrassed. “You just brought us soy-sauce duck yesterday, and today you brought us pastries again.”

“Oh, don’t be so polite!” Auntie Zhang waved her hand. Her eyes fell on his face, looking more and more pleased the longer she stared. “You, child, your complexion is getting better and better. You look much more energetic than when you first arrived. Oh right, about what I mentioned yesterday, have you given it some more thought? That girl is my distant niece. She has good character, a stable job, and is very pretty. Why don’t you two meet up?”

Another matchmaking attempt. The smile on Qi Xu’s face faded slightly, and he shook his head gently. “Auntie, thank you for your kindness, but I don’t want to date right now.”

“Oh, what’s there not to want? You’re not that young anymore…” Auntie Zhang wanted to say more, but He Qingshi ran down from upstairs with a mess of messy hair. With his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, he called out indistinctly, “Morning, Auntie Zhang! Xu-ge, I want osmanthus cake too!”

This clumsy display successfully interrupted Auntie Zhang. Taking the opportunity, Qi Xu handed him the bamboo basket and said with a smile, “Hurry up and finish washing up before you eat. Don’t choke.”

After washing up, He Qingshi came out and sat at the dining table, taking big bites of the osmanthus cake. He mumbled, “Xu-ge, is Auntie Zhang setting you up again? Let me tell you, she introduced several to me too, but I shot them all down.” Having just turned twenty this year, his face still carried the youthfulness of a teenager. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled was very endearing. His skin was a healthy honey tone, and his posture was tall and straight; even in a simple white T-shirt and jeans, he looked bursting with youthful vitality.

Qi Xu was currently pouring dog food for Naituan. Hearing this, he glanced back at him. “How old are you even? You really don’t need to rush into dating.”

“It’s not a matter of rushing or not!” He Qingshi put down the pastry, blinked his big eyes, and said pitifully, “It’s just that none of them are my type.” He paused, then changed the subject, probing slightly, “By the way, Xu-ge, Auntie Zhang said there are several other aunties who want to introduce people to you too. What kind of person do you actually like?”

Qi Xu’s dog food scoop paused for a second before he chuckled. Putting the scoop down, he walked over to sit at the dining table, tapping He Qingshi’s forehead lightly with his fingertip. “Don’t talk nonsense. You’re still young; you should focus on your studies.”

Holding his forehead, He Qingshi protested reluctantly, “I’m not young! I’m already twenty!” He knew Qi Xu liked men. That day, he had accidentally stumbled upon Qi Xu staring blankly at a joint photo, where the other man had cold, sharp features. Qi Xu had probably realized that his secret had been discovered.

It was just… since childhood, he had always listened to his parents and buried his head in his studies. Up until now, he hadn’t had any youthful romantic experiences. When everyone else had a “partner,” he would wonder: what kind of person would he fall for in the future?

In university, he had also met many girls—some passionate or bright, others gentle or elegant. But he couldn’t feel a spark with any of them. It wasn’t that he avoided interacting with them, but rather that he always felt something was missing.

Until he met Qi Xu, a man six years his senior, with a face so beautiful it was almost seductive, yet always carrying a sense of fragile brokenness. Especially after getting a rough idea of this man’s past, he understood that feeling even better.

Qi Xu was different from so many people. He was too gentle, and extremely attentive. In just a few meals, he had figured out what He Qingshi liked and disliked, and he had managed to raise even Naituan—who had been malnourished as a puppy—into a plump and chubby dog.

What’s more… Qi Xu was very popular. Otherwise, he couldn’t have gotten so many neighbors to help promote his business after only being here for a few months. When he looked at people, he was always smiling, like a moon goddess… oh wait, male god in the sky.

In this small town, people’s mindsets were very traditional, and homosexuality was a taboo topic. But actually, if it were with a man like Qi Xu… it didn’t seem wrong at all.

Qi Xu was naturally meant to be loved.

So he wanted to overwrite the position that Qi Xu’s previous man held in Qi Xu’s heart. He wanted this version of Qi Xu to smile only at him, for those slender hands to touch only him, and to hear such a person say that he liked him.

It was just that he hadn’t graduated yet, and he was still a long way from Qi Xu’s ideal type. He had to work even harder to make Qi Xu stop seeing him as a child. He wanted to shield Qi Xu from the storm and support a sky of his own for him.

But Qi Xu was completely unaware of He Qingshi’s little thoughts.

Initially, Qi Xu had been afraid of leading a young kid astray, but He Qingshi was too good at acting spoiled. He also claimed he had nowhere else to go, saying that rather than being exploited by capitalists, he might as well stay and help out.

Left with no choice, Qi Xu could only let him stay.

Thinking of this, Qi Xu didn’t reply. He picked up a piece of osmanthus cake and put it in his mouth, the sweet and sticky flavor dissolving on his tongue.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought about starting a new life, but his heart, wounded and riddled with countless scars, simply couldn’t handle being put through the wringer again. The three words “Si Jingheng” were like a brand seared onto his bones; occasionally, when he woke up in the middle of the night, they would still ache faintly.

He felt as though those days were very far away from him now. He wondered if Si Jingheng had already married Miao Mu’er, or perhaps had already had children to “settle down.”

He liked his life in Wujiang City very much now. He managed the guesthouse every day, chatted with Auntie Zhang, played games with He Qingshi, and watched Naituan frolic in the yard. Life was peaceful and fulfilling.

Occasionally, he would contact Lin Guanchi to ask about how things were in the Imperial Capital. Even when Lin Guanchi mentioned the Si family, he would always tactfully avoid the topic of Si Jingheng.

Even if things escalated to the point where everyone knew, or even if the Imperial Capital was turned upside down by the drama, what of it? As long as Qi Xu didn’t know, Si Jingheng would have no chance of finding him.

They all wished for Qi Xu to have his own new life.

Later, after Lu Zhiyan asked him many times, Qi Xu finally told him where he was living. Occasionally, when Lu Zhiyan came over on business trips, the two of them would meet up for meals. Lu Zhiyan never mentioned anything about Si Jingheng, only looking at him once in a while to say, “Xiao Xu, you’re doing quite well like this.”

Qi Xu also thought it was quite good. He didn’t have to cautiously please anyone anymore, and he didn’t have to fear his feelings being discarded like trash. He could finally live for himself, do what he liked, and lead the life he wanted.

There weren’t many guests in the morning, so Qi Xu sat at the front desk organizing online bookings.

The guesthouse had recently become popular due to several travel bloggers checking in, and bookings were scheduled all the way into next month. Most of them were young people coming here to take photos and unwind.

Because He Qingshi was good-looking and had an outgoing personality, he naturally became the “image spokesperson” of the guesthouse. Guests loved taking photos with him, and he never refused anyone, even taking the initiative to recommend nearby attractions and local delicacies.

“Xu-ge, look at this!” He Qingshi ran over with his phone, displaying a photo he had just taken. In the picture, he was standing under the ginkgo tree in the yard. Sunlight filtered through the gaps in the leaves, casting soft contours on his body. Behind him were branches adorned with golden-yellow leaves, making it look exceptionally beautiful. “A lot of guests said they want to come and take photos of the ginkgo tree. I was thinking of hanging up some fairy lights tonight—it’ll definitely make for even better photos!”

Qi Xu nodded. “Sure, the ginkgo tree in the backyard is bearing fruit now too. Hanging up fairy lights will indeed look beautiful.”

After dinner, He Qingshi brought over a ladder and pulled out the fairy lights he had purchased.

Qi Xu stood by to help hand him things, watching He Qingshi agilely climb the ladder and wrap the lights around the branches one loop at a time. The golden-yellow ginkgo leaves, paired with the warm white lights, looked from afar like they were adorned with stars, exceptionally romantic.

“Xu-ge, do you want to try too?” He Qingshi waved to him from the ladder. “The lower branches aren’t high. Climb up and hang a few strands to experience it!”

Qi Xu had always been physically inactive; climbing a tree was a daunting task for him. He shook his head. “No, I’m afraid of falling.”

“What are you afraid of? I’ve got you!” He Qingshi jumped down and patted his chest. “I’ll catch you from below, I guarantee you’ll be fine. Just try it, treat it as a challenge. Look, you even dare to live alone now, what’s climbing a tree?”

Looking at the expectant look in He Qingshi’s eyes, and then at the not-so-high branch, a sudden burst of courage welled up in Qi Xu’s heart.

Indeed, he had already stepped out from the shadow of his past. Why couldn’t he be a bit braver and try some things he hadn’t dared to do before?

“Then… alright.” Taking a deep breath, he held onto the trunk and climbed up cautiously, following the method He Qingshi taught him. The trunk wasn’t very thick but was sturdy. He slowly shuffled his feet and finally sat on the lowest branch.

Looking down from up high, the scenery of the courtyard was fully in view. Naituan lay on the ground, looking up at him and wagging its tail even more excitedly. He Qingshi stood under the tree, smiling and waving at him with eyes full of encouragement.

The evening breeze blew gently, bringing bursts of floral fragrance. Ginkgo leaves rustled down like dancing butterflies. Qi Xu suddenly felt that this scene was even more beautiful than those in TV dramas.

“How is it? It’s not scary, right?” He Qingshi asked, looking up at him with a smile in his voice.

Qi Xu nodded, a genuine smile gracing the corners of his lips. “Yeah, it’s actually quite fun.”

“Okay, I want to come down now,” Qi Xu said. But… going up was easy, while coming down was hard. With no trunk to support him, Qi Xu had no idea how to climb down backward. “I don’t dare.”

“Xu-ge, jump! I’ll catch you!” He Qingshi spread his arms and stood under the tree, staring at Qi Xu with burning eyes.

Author’s Note: Oh no! I forgot to change the schedule time for the previous chapter and it got posted! I originally wanted to update three chapters a day, sob sob sob. Now my backlog is running low! Whimper, let’s count this as a bonus update for reaching 500 nutrient solutions! Next time we hit 1,000, I’ll save up a super fat chapter, hehe.