Chapter 38#
How Dare You Still Show Your Face at My House!…#
Si Jingheng woke up with a start.
His body still maintained the posture of holding Qi Xu tightly in his dream, his arms rigidly suspended in mid-air.
The room was terrifyingly quiet, making him feel incredibly lonely.
“It was just… a dream…” Si Jingheng murmured.
Si Jingheng slowly raised his hand, his fingertips tracing his own lips, as if he could still feel the touch of Qi Xu’s soft lips pressing against his in the dream—lingering, carrying each other’s breath.
Everything in the dream had felt so real, as if it had all truly happened.
No… one thing was fake. He and Qi Xu had never shared such a deep, lingering kiss, nor had they ever loved each other so deeply.
It felt as if a sudden electric current shot through his heart, a dense, prickling pain spreading out, making it difficult for him to even breathe.
Just then, the phone on the nightstand suddenly blared with a harsh alarm. Si Jingheng stared blankly at the phone, and only after a long moment did he slowly reach out his hand and turn it off.
Quiet returned to the room, but Si Jingheng could no longer fall back asleep. He threw off the blanket, stepped barefoot onto the cold floor, and walked toward the wardrobe. He gently slid open the wooden wardrobe doors, revealing it filled with his clothes—suits, shirts, casual wear, every piece an expensive brand, ironed flat and looking brand new.
Yet, Si Jingheng’s gaze was fixed intently on one side of the wardrobe, where Qi Xu’s clothes used to hang.
But now, that spot was completely empty, leaving behind only cold hangers neatly lined up, making the house feel even more desolate.
Si Jingheng pulled out a dark gray shirt from the wardrobe. As he put it on, the expensive fabric brought him no comfort whatsoever; instead, it made him feel utterly uncomfortable all over. What was even more unbearable was the strong scent of high-end perfume sprayed on the shirt, choking his throat and sending his stomach churning.
He tore open the collar of his shirt, wanting to breathe in some fresh air, but the scent of perfume clung to him like a disease to the bone, refusing to dissipate.
Si Jingheng ran his hand through his hair in frustration and turned to walk into the bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face, the icy sensation cleared his clouded mind a bit.
In the living room, breakfast was already laid out on the dining table.
The butler and the maid stood to the side, looking at him respectfully, seemingly waiting for his instructions.
Si Jingheng walked over to the table and sat down. He picked up the glass and took a sip. As the warm liquid slid down his throat, carrying a strong, gamey milky taste, the discomfort in his stomach instantly intensified. He slammed the glass down, leaned forward, and spat the milk he had just swallowed into the trash can next to him, his expression turning even more unpleasant.
“Warm… milk…?” he cursed under his breath, his tone brimming with irritability.
How had his assistant instructed them? Had he not told the maid about his habits?
This is just an accident, Si Jingheng thought to himself.
Taking a deep breath, Si Jingheng picked up his chopsticks again and grabbed a bite of salad.
The vegetables were cold, and mixed with the cloying sweetness of the Thousand Island dressing, the taste was absolutely atrocious. He chewed with effort twice, but found it impossible to swallow, spitting it out again. He slammed his chopsticks heavily onto the table with a loud thud.
“This is so fucking disgusting!” He couldn’t help but swear, the rage in his eyes nearly erupting.
Si Jingheng’s gaze swept across the living room, landing on the maid who was cleaning.
The maid was bending over, picking up the throw pillows from the carpet one by one and arranging them neatly on the sofa.
That throw pillow was Qi Xu’s favorite.
It was sky blue, with a lazy cat printed on it. Before, Qi Xu always liked to sit on the carpet with his back against the sofa, holding this pillow in his arms, eating snacks while watching movies.
Later, he would also sit there with Qi Xu, watching some boring cartoons.
An uncontrollable surge of rage welled up from the depths of his heart. Si Jingheng scraped his chair back abruptly, the legs screeching sharply against the floor. “Who told you to arrange them like that?” he roared, his voice shaking the very air in the living room.
The maid trembled all over at his sudden outburst of fury, her face turning deathly pale.
Right now, nothing looked right to him.
Just then, the butler stepped forward, a cautious expression on his face, and asked, “Mr. Si, what are your plans for today? Is there anything you need us to prepare for you?”
Si Jingheng’s gaze snapped to the butler, his eyes as fierce as a provoked beast. “Asking me?” he said through gritted teeth. “You have to ask me for everything? What the hell am I paying you for? Did you throw my instructions to the dogs?!”
He remembered how, in the past, Qi Xu never needed to be reminded; he remembered all of his habits and preferences. Although Qi Xu wasn’t good at running business projects, he could take care of his life down to the smallest detail, leaving him with absolutely no worries.
But what about now? These butlers and maids, paid high salaries, couldn’t even remember his most basic habits, turning his life into an utter mess!
“Get out!” Si Jingheng’s rage exploded completely. He pointed at the door and roared, “Take this month’s salary and get the hell out!”
At this moment, the butler and maid, who had just been fired on their very first day of work, thought: Assistant Liu was right. Mr. Si really is incredibly difficult to please.
Just then, a gentle female voice suddenly sounded at the doorway: “Jingheng.”
Si Jingheng froze all over and whipped his head around.
He saw Xue Lan standing in the entryway, her face carrying a hint of shock and worry. Clearly, she had already been standing there for a while.
When the maid went out to throw away the trash, she had forgotten to lock the door. Xue Lan had pushed the door open and walked in, just in time to witness Si Jingheng shouting at the butler and maid.
Si Jingheng’s rage was instantly mostly snuffed out. He called out in a low voice, “Mom.”
Xue Lan didn’t walk in right away. Instead, she waved her hand toward the door, signaling for the servants to leave first. Only then did she slowly step into the living room.
Her gaze fell on Si Jingheng’s pale and gaunt face, then swept over the messy breakfast on the dining table, the worry in her eyes deepening.
Xue Lan sat across from him. Picking up a tissue from the table, she gently wiped away a stain on the surface and spoke slowly, “I knew your father wouldn’t really know how to have a heart-to-heart with you, so Mom came today to ask you—you called off the engagement, and your state of mind has been so poor lately. Why on earth is that?”
Si Jingheng remained silent, his fingers tightening unconsciously.
But he still kept his lips pressed together, refusing to utter a single word.
Xue Lan seemed to have expected this reaction. She didn’t press him, but merely looked at him quietly. “I know you don’t like Miao Mu’er,” she paused before continuing, “but Jingheng, have you ever thought about what it is you actually want?”
What do you actually want?
These simple words were like a heavy sledgehammer, slamming hard against Si Jingheng’s heart.
Si Jingheng raised his head to meet Xue Lan’s gaze, his eyes filled with blankness and confusion.
What did he want?
He had never seriously thought about this question. Before, he thought what he wanted was the awe and obedience of others, and success in his career. So he worked desperately, calculating every step.
Si Jingheng’s heart seized violently as a sharp wave of pain washed over him.
What he wanted… what he had always been unsure of, wasn’t it exactly how much Qi Xu loved him?
Actually, many people had said they loved him, and Qi Xu was just one of them. All this talk of love and affection—at the end of the day, wasn’t it all just born out of a moment of impulse? Once they got out of bed, how many people could firmly declare they could love someone for a lifetime?
So he didn’t believe, nor did he want to believe, that there could be any so-called love between two men.
Some women couldn’t even keep their husbands with a child.
What could two men possibly do?
He had always felt that no one could fulfill a promise of “forever” just because they made it.
Just like now—with one turn from Qi Xu, he was left with nothing.
That was why he had always been unsure of how much Qi Xu loved him, which was why he had repeatedly hurt Qi Xu,
testing him over and over, and denying it over and over.
“What I want…” Si Jingheng’s voice was terribly raspy, his eyes slightly reddening. “I…”
Perhaps…
He should look for something to prove that Qi Xu’s love had truly existed.
Once the thought arose, it grew wildly like weeds, instantly taking over his entire mind.
Si Jingheng could no longer sit still. He abruptly stood up.
“Mom, I have something to take care of. I’m leaving first,” he said at a rapid-fire pace. Before he could even say another word to Xue Lan, he turned and rushed toward the door.
“Jingheng!” Xue Lan called out to stop him, but she could only see the retreating view of his back.
Sunlight filtered through the gaps in the leaves, casting dappled shadows on the asphalt road as Si Jingheng slammed the gas pedal to the floor, speeding down the road.
Only when he arrived at the entrance of the villa did Si Jingheng realize he had been too impulsive. He had his assistant deliver some gifts before he dared to approach the front door.
The doorbell rang a few times, and the door was quickly opened.
Opening the door was Du Yanxin. She was dressed in simple, elegant loungewear, a gentle smile on her face.
Seeing Si Jingheng at the door, she froze for a moment, then said in surprise, “Jingheng? What brings you here? Quick, come in and sit.”
Si Jingheng carefully observed Du Yanxin’s reaction. Her face held only surprise—no disgust, and no anger. It seemed she was completely unaware of what had happened between him and Qi Xu.
“Aunt Du, sorry to disturb you. I… I came to visit you and Uncle Qi.”
“Oh, you child, why are you being so polite?” Du Yanxin took the things Si Jingheng had brought, smiling as she stepped aside to let him in. “Your uncle is reading in the study. I’ll go call him.”
Si Jingheng had just walked into the living room and hadn’t even had the chance to sit down when he heard a rush of hurried footsteps coming from the stairs.
Qi Ran rushed down from upstairs dressed in sportswear, his face livid and his eyes full of rage. He lunged in front of Si Jingheng and, without a single word, swung a punch straight at his face.
“Si Jingheng! How dare you still show your face at my house?!”
Si Jingheng had not expected Qi Ran to suddenly appear at all, let alone that he would get violent. Unable to dodge in time, he took the punch head-on.
With a dull thud, Si Jingheng stumbled back a few steps and crashed against the doorframe behind him. A sharp, intense pain immediately flared at the corner of his mouth, and a warm liquid trickled down, dripping onto his white shirt, looking exceptionally jarring.
He raised his hand, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, and looked at the furious Qi Ran in front of him.
“Ranran, what are you doing?” Du Yanxin hadn’t registered what was happening; seeing this scene, her mind nearly went blank.
Didn’t Qi Ran and Si Jingheng usually have little to do with each other? How had it developed into such deep-seated hatred?
“It’s fine, Auntie.” Si Jingheng wiped the blood from the corner of his lips and flashed a provocative smile at Qi Ran. “He’s just been spoiled rotten by Qi Xu.”
And so am I—both of us have been spoiled into this state by Qi Xu.