Chapter 30 - 3#
“But even like this, I’m still scared.”
Jingzhe was, after all, just an innocent youth, currently teetering on the line between boyhood and young adulthood, his shoulders still somewhat slender.
Overly violent emotions were too intense for Jingzhe, like a delicate flower that had grown up, yet was always battered by storms. Although its roots were deep, it still fluttered, as if it was about to break.
Rong Jiu: “Then you regret it?”
Jingzhe pursed his lips: “You’re always like this. Even though it’s your fault, you always question me back.” He complained a little, like a spoiled child, “Can’t you just say properly, ‘Okay, I’ll change in the future,’ then I won’t be scared or angry anymore!”
Father always apologized to mother like that.
Even if something wrong was done, as long as one apologized properly, and corrected it, and didn’t repeatedly fail to learn, then the matter would dissipate.
Jingzhe was a forgetful person; he would forget after a short while.
But Rong Jiu didn’t want him to forget.
So, he heard Rong Jiu say this, in a cold, icy voice, like a sigh.
“To correct one’s mistakes is good, but… it can’t be done, Jingzhe.”
He clearly wasn’t smiling, but inexplicably, Jingzhe always felt as if he heard Rong Jiu’s laughter.
“I can’t say what I can’t do, I can’t promise what I don’t want to do. Jingzhe doesn’t want me to be that kind of scumbag who breaks promises and deceives you every now and then, right?”
It was that usual cool tone. Compared to outsiders, when it fell on Jingzhe, it was gentle. Look, who else would Rong Jiu say such a long speech to?
But gradually, what emerged from the voice was an indescribable, terrifying darkness, as if it would swallow Jingzhe whole in an instant.
Jingzhe silently pursed his lips, staring at the table.
He no longer felt hungry, but another kind of burning fire.
“Even I get angry!”
Jingzhe nimbly slipped out of the quilt—it must be said that he possessed such a fluid body. Under long-term labor, his slender frame was already covered with a thin layer of muscle. Although it couldn’t compare to Rong Jiu’s, it was often sufficient. He twisted around and punched Rong Jiu in the right eye.
They were sitting on one chair.
The chair clearly couldn’t withstand such violent twisting, as it hadn’t been used for too long. Although well-maintained, it still let out a creak under the strain.
The quilt slipped to the floor. Jingzhe straddled Rong Jiu’s body, one hand clutching Rong Jiu’s collar, the other punching his lower abdomen.
Although he didn’t use all his strength, it was still quite forceful.
“I don’t care if you can change or not, but if you do something wrong, you have to apologize.” Jingzhe gripped Rong Jiu’s fingers until they cramped, his bright eyes staring intently at the man. “I don’t care if it’s useful or not, but I want to hear those words.”
Rong Jiu’s hands supported Jingzhe’s waist, not knowing if it was to prevent him from falling or a form of control.
Aside from the fleeting wince of pain when he was hit, Rong Jiu’s face showed no change in expression. His dark, deep-set eyes looked at Jingzhe with a detached, slightly troubled gaze.
Troubled?
Damn it, he still dared to be troubled?
Just as Jingzhe’s anger flared and he was about to throw another punch, Rong Jiu said, “Last night was reckless, and I have offended you greatly. I hope you can forgive me.” His voice was somewhat cold. He tilted his head and looked at Jingzhe, saying word by word what Jingzhe wanted to hear.
Jingzhe gasped, his arm resting on Rong Jiu’s shoulder, frowning at him.
Rong Jiu also innocently let him look.
On his beautiful face, the red marks from Jingzhe’s punches just now ruined his original perfect demeanor, making him look slightly comical. Jingzhe’s heart couldn’t help but flutter twice, and he sighed softly.
“I forgive you.”
Rong Jiu subconsciously tightened his grip on Jingzhe’s waist.
“Why?”
He didn’t specify which one, but Jingzhe seemed to understand his meaning.
He glared at Rong Jiu, then sat down indignantly.
“I don’t care what your problem is, whether it’s ingrained nature or you’re deliberately trying to scare me, but if you do something wrong, you have to apologize. Whether it’s useful or not, that’s up to me.”
Rong Jiu frowned in confusion: “But if I apologize and don’t change, what’s the use?”
Jingzhe said as a matter of course: “It’s useful! At least you never apologized before.”
That was true.
Who would dare to make Rong Jiu apologize?
Jingzhe rinsed his mouth with tea, then ate his food in small bites. He was already ravenous. It was good enough that he could barely handle the important matters. After eating almost everything in a whirlwind, Jingzhe let out a long sigh.
There was a hint of melancholy, a touch of faint sadness.
“If I had known your personality when I met you, I would have definitely walked away.”
Although Jingzhe loved beauty, beautiful as she was, her temper was violent. He was someone who disliked trouble, and if he had a choice, he would naturally go as far away as possible.
But unfortunately, he was captivated by beauty and fell into a trap without even realizing it.
Jingzhe looked back at Rong Jiu’s face.
The bruises from earlier had spread, turning a bit red and blue. Jingzhe’s heart also twitched. He wished he had aimed for the body and thrown a few more punches instead of the face.
Rong Jiu: “You really like my face.”
He said it indifferently.
Jingzhe pouted: “Blame it on beauty.”
Truly a disaster, once you stumble, you can’t climb out.
He looked at the gradually brightening sky outside and couldn’t help but say, “Don’t you really… feel disgusted?”
“Because you’re an eunuch?” Rong Jiu’s expression was indifferent. “Is this the first day I’ve known about this?”
Jingzhe remembered Rong Jiu’s terrifying desire yesterday, and the trousers he had managed to save by desperately holding on, and couldn’t help but purse his lips.
“I should go back.”
Having not returned to the Zhidian Si all night, Jingzhe was already getting a headache thinking about how to explain it. And where was this place anyway?
Why did Rong Jiu always give Jingzhe the feeling of being very familiar with the harem… Although he was a guard in front of the hall, it was normal for him to be familiar… But leaving his post without permission was really a good thing… Why didn’t Wei Haidong scold him…
Jingzhe’s mind was full of these strange thoughts until Rong Jiu brought clothes and dressed him, which made him suddenly react.
“I’ll dress myself.”
Rong Jiu, however, didn’t let him. After slowly dressing Jingzhe, he pressed him onto the bed to sit up and squatted down to put on his shoes.
Jingzhe subconsciously flinched and whispered, “You don’t have to do this out of apology…”
Rong Jiu grabbed Jingzhe’s ankle irresistibly and chuckled, “Apology?”
He looked up, his inky eyes staring at Jingzhe.
“Just wanted to.”
Jingzhe was taken care of by Rong Jiu from head to toe, just as the clothes he had stripped off last night were put back on him one by one.
Jingzhe felt completely uncomfortable. When he was led out, he walked outside and belatedly realized how close this place was to the Imperial Kitchen.
The Zhidian Si was also nearby.
They had actually been fooling around at such a close distance last night, and also, also…
Jingzhe looked back at the large characters of Jiefang Palace and almost fainted.
It’s over, it’s over. He felt that if he were to die one day, if it wasn’t by someone else’s hand, it would definitely be from dying of debauchery in the harem…
“No.”
Rong Jiu said indifferently.
Jingzhe nervously covered his mouth and muffled, “How do you know?”
Rong Jiu pondered, then said, “Because the emperor doesn’t care about harem affairs. He won’t care if anyone cuckolds him.”
Jingzhe was dumbfounded: “This, so magnanimous?” He wouldn’t mind being cuckolded, this was truly…
Rong Jiu chuckled softly, as if he thought of something.
“Yes, so, Jingzhe,” the man’s voice came closer, “you can, indulge yourself well…”
Jingzhe covered his ears and ran away in a flash.
The Zhidian Si was nearby. This was a place he could run to with his eyes closed. How could he continue to listen to Rong Jiu’s dirty words? Ahhh, his ears were defiled!
Rong Jiu straightened up, watching Jingzhe’s figure disappear further and further, finally vanishing at the end of the palace path. And the expression on his face also froze little by little, until it was pure indifference.
When Jingzhe left, it was as if he had taken away the last bit of humanity from him.
Or rather, when he wasn’t with Jingzhe, Helian Rong had always been like this.
…
Jingzhe ran all the way back to the Zhidian Si, looking as if he was fleeing for his life. He just nodded randomly to familiar people he met on the way, with no intention of stopping. Like a hurricane, he swept into his room, lay directly on the bed, kicked off his shoes, and hid himself completely.
This was simply the safest corner in the world.
Huiping was woken up by Jingzhe’s commotion. It was rare not to have to get up early today, and he spoke indistinctly: “Jingzhe… what’s wrong?”
Jingzhe buzzed: “Nothing, you go back to sleep.”
It wasn’t until the whole room became quiet again that Jingzhe curled up, covering his loudly beating heart.
What happened yesterday was too sudden. Jingzhe could only now properly catch his breath.
He stayed in a daze for a while, then stared at his hands.
Yesterday, these hands pulled mushrooms.
Today, these hands punched Rong Jiu.
Okay… what kind of leap is this… He… what’s wrong with Rong Jiu…
Was he… deliberately, testing him?
Jingzhe struggled to grasp a thread from the chaotic ball of yarn, but after grasping that thread, he fell silent in front of the even more chaotic ball of yarn behind it.
But why test him anyway!
No, no, no… Jingzhe, don’t think like that… He was poisoned, he was having an attack…
Jingzhe murmured: “…Being scared is really being scared…”
But why…
He irritably turned over. Hearing that Rong Jiu was poisoned at a young age, he felt a little sad again.
Jingzhe, Jingzhe, feeling sorry for men is a disease!
He felt sorry for Rong Jiu, did Rong Jiu feel sorry for him last night?
Except for his small underwear, Jingzhe was almost stripped naked, and his whole body was thoroughly “eaten.”
He had never been so ashamed in his life!
How could he not mind the dirt?
…
Helian Rong indifferently drank a bowl of medicine. The bitter taste, enough to melt bones, rolled in his mouth. He heard Zong Yuanxin muttering.
“How could this be… this medicine…”
Yes, how could Zong Yuanxin’s medicine go wrong?
While the people below were busy, Helian Rong, sitting on the seat, was half-asleep, propping his face with one hand.
So the sound in the hall became even quieter.
He could give Jingzhe plenty of time, letting him slowly sink, slowly struggle powerlessly, slide into the sticky trap, and never climb out again.
Is that what “steady and sure” means?
But, Jingzhe was affectionate everywhere he went. Wherever he went, there were so many people who liked him, those gazes, those concerns, those intimate interactions…
Excessive thoughtfulness turned into an unnecessary burden.
If Jingzhe were to truly believe that he was such a thoughtful and gentle lover, that would be a huge mistake.
It’s just…
Helian Rong opened his eyes and pressed his right eye.
The faint stinging sensation stirred up waves, fanaticism and gloom, suddenly breaking through the man’s frozen emotions.
“Hahahahaha…”
Helian Rong actually laughed out loud.
This laughter frightened the servants in the hall. Some couldn’t help but kneel down, trembling, unable to get up again.
The hall fell into a deathly silence, with only Helian Rong’s laughter.
Even if unwilling, he would open everything to him.
Even if he cried loudly, he would sob and complain to him.
He would grab his collar and beat him, saying that even if apologizing was useless, he still had to apologize.
Realizing danger, he would suddenly flee, very clever, and ran very fast, disappearing in the blink of an eye.
…Jingzhe’s reactions were always unexpected.
An unsatisfied excitement raged in his heart. His tongue pressed against his teeth, barely suppressing the tireless flame.
Love and twisted malice intertwined, giving rise to a cruel desire that could not stop the urge to plunder.
How could he be blamed?
Right.
At least he respected Jingzhe very much, not stripping away his most feared secret, allowing him to maintain that small privacy, thinking no one knew.
He’s good, right?
So unlucky, Jingzhe.
This was all cultivated under your indulgence.
Helian Rong stretched out his hand. On his cold white wrist, clearly visible scratches oozed blood.
He licked it with extreme care, as if savoring Jingzhe’s lingering anger and fear.
And this was just the beginning.
Author’s note:
Jingzhe: If you do that again, I’ll do this and that, and that and this, understand?
Rong Jiu: Mm.
Jingzhe: What does “mm” mean?
Rong Jiu: It means I heard you ^_^