Chapter 36#

Tan Xiao attended the banquet tonight also in formal wear, but without a tie.

Zhang Xingchuan really liked Tan Xiao’s elite look. Once they got home and he closed the door, Zhang Xingchuan took off his own tie and looped it around Tan Xiao’s neck.

“…” Tan Xiao lowered his head watching him tie the knot.

The CEO had naturally drunk at the celebration banquet, and his normally nimble fingers were now a bit clumsy. He only managed to tie a crooked knot for Tan Xiao.

Tan Xiao said, “Do you even know how? This is too ugly.”

Zhang Xingchuan actually did know. His fingers hooked the tie knot and pulled Tan Xiao into his arms, kissing him.

They were in Tan Xiao’s apartment. The banquet venue was closer to here. And this place was empty, unoccupied. The two embraced intensely in the spacious flat, with less restraint than at Zhang Xingchuan’s place.

Celebrating victory’s joy called not just for alcohol, but naturally also for sex.

In the more than a month that had just passed, Zhang Xingchuan had spent more time in the Yangtze River Delta region. Wenjing itself wasn’t a dominant platform. Having reached alliances with multiple domestic hotel groups this time was thanks to favorable circumstances and timing. Zhang Xingchuan still had to maintain a humble attitude, personally handling many matters.

Tan Xiao was in Beijing, going to work at Wenjing and working on his postdoctoral research proposal. At these times, he envied Zhang Xingchuan—how could someone so love making plans?

Though busy and chaotic, they managed to submit the application on time.

Only this week had Zhang Xingchuan come back. The two hadn’t been intimate much. The last time they were as unrestrained as tonight was last month in Hangzhou.

That time, Secretary Feng suddenly got sick with a fever. Before leaving on the business trip, he had to take sick leave. Tan Xiao accompanied the CEO to Hangzhou instead.

Wenjing’s response strategy had been correct. Things were resolved well. The crisis was being smoothly managed—the overall situation was improving.

M Group hadn’t expected Wenjing to be so firm. The public impact was negative, with some Chinese consumers even organizing boycotts. Other travel platforms, to avoid getting burned, also limited or temporarily delisted M Group properties. M Group had no choice but to release an apology statement, saying they never looked down on the Chinese market and absolutely had no intention of maliciously suppressing Chinese platforms.

On the surface, this battle was won by Wenjing. Wenjing even benefited from the crisis, achieving historic breakthroughs in performance, moving up another tier. Staff gained valuable experience and substantial bonuses.

But the opponent who initiated the confrontation only suffered minor surface wounds. M Group was after all a hotel group of enormous scale, with countless properties worldwide. Consumer boycott momentum in a single market would fade quickly. Negative sentiment about the M Hotel brand would eventually dissipate with time.

This had no impact whatsoever on the shipping group or the Doria family.

This was the first time Tan Xiao discovered he wasn’t an absolute optimist. He began unconsciously becoming pessimistic. Such small moves—if Tan Yun wanted, she could snap her fingers and keep doing this several more times, and Zhang Xingchuan and Wenjing would never have peace.

This fact made him feel utterly hopeless.

Zhang Xingchuan had just fallen in love with him. Why should he suffer these things?

Wenjing’s employees were even more innocent—just doing their jobs, why be tormented like this?

Everyone had been under enormous pressure. When Secretary Feng got sick, Tan Xiao had to take over many things. Those few days, Tan Xiao frequently wondered if he was becoming depressed. No tears came, and he couldn’t smile. Every day he numbly worked, endless work.

He temporarily became Zhang Xingchuan’s traveling companion, handling affairs Secretary Feng usually dealt with. He went to Hangzhou on business with the CEO. This was the most unpleasant trip since he and Zhang Xingchuan had known each other.

At Capital Airport while waiting to board, another colleague who was also going to Hangzhou asked Tan Xiao a work coordination detail question. Tan Xiao hadn’t heard Secretary Feng mention it, so he quickly messaged the sick Secretary Feng who was receiving an IV. Secretary Feng didn’t see it immediately and couldn’t reply in time.

Actually, there was no rush—they could improvise once in Hangzhou. Given Tan Xiao’s emotional intelligence, there was no problem. But Tan Xiao was being particularly neurotic that day. He started messaging everyone in the President’s Office who might know about it.

When he asked the third person, Zhang Xingchuan took his phone away.

Tan Xiao exploded immediately, angrily saying, “I’m working. What are you doing?”

Zhang Xingchuan looked at him with concern and said, “Rest for a moment, okay?”

Zhang Xingchuan realized something was very wrong with him. He really wanted him to go home and rest, not go on the business trip. But he didn’t dare let him go—couldn’t guarantee what might happen without him there.

Fortunately, Tan Xiao quickly realized his own overreaction. He said awkwardly, “I won’t ask anymore… I’m just anxious. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t insist on getting his phone back either, just sat there taking a long breath, trying to adjust himself, moving his mind away from work.

Going to Hangzhou. He had special memories of Hangzhou.

Before being taken to Europe, when he was about three or four years old, he’d lived in Hangzhou briefly for over a year. His grandparents had taken care of him then while his parents battled over custody. Being so young, he didn’t remember the city’s appearance clearly. He vaguely remembered his grandfather’s broad back, remembered the sweet scent of pastries on the wind, remembered picking osmanthus flowers for his grandmother, his small hands stained yellow.

Later he was taken to Europe. His mom went to work in another Zhejiang city. The whole family left Hangzhou. In recent years when he visited, he went there instead, hadn’t come back to Hangzhou.

Twenty years later, he returned accompanying Zhang Xingchuan to meet hotel alliance partners.

From the moment they landed that day, he fell into confusion. Did this count as returning to his hometown? Could a completely unfamiliar place be considered hometown? Then did he even have a hometown?

Work didn’t give him much time to think about these homecoming questions. A group of them got busy right after landing. Zhang Xingchuan, coming from a technical background, symbolically participated in some interface development.

Busy until evening, the partner arranged a simple banquet. Zhang Xingchuan still needed to attend and socialize. Tan Xiao changed and wanted to go too, but Zhang Xingchuan asked him to stay in the room and rest. “Get a good sleep.”

Tan Xiao didn’t really want to go anyway, so he nodded and sent Zhang Xingchuan out.

Around nine o’clock, Zhang Xingchuan returned to the room.

Tan Xiao wasn’t there. His phone and charger weren’t there either. His side bag wasn’t there. His ID wasn’t there.

Zhang Xingchuan stood in the middle of the room, his mind going blank.

What was happening?

Had his worst fear come true? Had Tan Xiao decided to end everything, returning home on his own initiative, using apologies and submission to exchange Wenjing and him for peace?

…

No, that wasn’t right. If Tan Xiao really planned to do that, he wouldn’t leave without a word. He wasn’t that inconsiderate.

Zhang Xingchuan looked around bewildered. Suddenly couldn’t remember where his phone was. Finally found it on the TV cabinet and immediately called Tan Xiao.

Fortunately, Tan Xiao picked up quickly. He’d taken an evening high-speed train to a port city in Zhejiang, just tens of kilometers from Hangzhou.

“I’ve already arrived at my mom’s place,” Tan Xiao said on the other end, laughing. “I’ll take the earliest high-speed train back tomorrow.”

Zhang Xingchuan said nothing.

Tan Xiao heard his breathing was off and realized something. “I left you a note,” he quickly explained. “It’s on the desk. Didn’t you see it?”

After returning, Zhang Xingchuan hadn’t checked the desk. There on the notepad was indeed written: Going to see my mom, coming back tomorrow morning.

Tan Xiao had decided spontaneously to come without telling Zhang Xingchuan via message or call, because if Zhang Xingchuan heard about it during the banquet, he’d definitely ask him to wait, insist on rushing back to come with him. But Zhang Xingchuan was so busy he had to stretch himself like taffy. He didn’t want Zhang Xingchuan to stretch another part out for him.

Zhang Xingchuan said, “You…”

He wanted to scold him. Only heaven knew he’d almost had a heart attack just now.

“Since you’ve gone, spend a good day with your mom,” Zhang Xingchuan said, forcing his tone to be calm. “Come back a bit later. There’s nothing urgent here.”

At twelve-thirty midnight, Tan Xiao rushed back. Without a high-speed rail ticket, he’d booked a cross-city ride-hailing car.

Zhang Xingchuan indeed hadn’t slept, sitting at the desk in a daze, the note Tan Xiao left him before him.

Tan Xiao: “…”

Zhang Xingchuan watched him from behind the desk.

He entered the room, looking like a child who’d done something wrong, helpless. He apologized, “I’m sorry.”

“I just suddenly wanted to see her,” Tan Xiao said. “I’m really, really sorry.”

Zhang Xingchuan stood up and walked over. Without speaking, he just held Tan Xiao.

Tan Xiao continued apologizing. Then he noticed something and couldn’t speak anymore.

“You…” Tan Xiao was very nervous. He felt Zhang Xingchuan might be crying.

He wanted to look at Zhang Xingchuan’s face, but Zhang Xingchuan held him tightly, not letting him see.

Zhang Xingchuan said, “Don’t be scared. I’m not angry.”

Tan Xiao said, “I’m not scared of you being angry. I’m… I just feel really sorry toward you.”

Zhang Xingchuan asked him, “Do you love me?”

Tan Xiao thought he’d gotten emotional, saying, “What do you mean asking that?”

Zhang Xingchuan had never been clearer-headed than now.

He’d been cautious about whether Tan Yun had more moves up her sleeve. Did M Group’s boycott simply end everything?

Now he understood. There was no need for further moves. Just keeping them constantly anxious, always on guard against danger developing, was already working. Tan Xiao harbored guilt. If he also developed blame, things could develop into them mutually tormenting each other, mutually resenting one another. No amount of love would survive that erosion.

If the queen’s tactic worked, it would make her brother never believe in humanity or love again for the rest of his life.

Zhang Xingchuan was grateful he wasn’t that kind of person. He never complained about circumstances. He constantly sought the next path he could take.

He said, “Stop trying to provoke me at a time like this. Apologizing to me is no different from slapping me. What’s there to apologize for? Is loving me wrong?”

Tan Xiao couldn’t answer. Of course it wasn’t wrong. But he just felt very sorry toward Zhang Xingchuan.

Having come back and forth with the heat, Zhang Xingchuan pushed him to shower. While washing him, he made him dirty again. Bubbles and desire mixed together, making Zhang Xingchuan think of that sad little mermaid story.

“Tan Xiao,” Zhang Xingchuan held him in his arms. “Don’t leave me.”

Tan Xiao couldn’t help himself and said, “I won’t.”

Zhang Xingchuan said, “Say it again.”

Tan Xiao, for some reason, got very sad. He cried and said, “I’m yours. I won’t leave you.”

After drying his hair, both fresh again, Zhang Xingchuan still held him and asked, “Did seeing your mom make you feel better?”

Tan Xiao knew his unauthorized departure had scared the CEO quite a bit. He was being very obedient now. “Yes.”

After Zhang Xingchuan left, he suddenly really wanted to see his mom. Before buying a high-speed rail ticket, he texted his mom, telling her he was coming. When he got off at the station, his mom and uncle came to meet him. His maternal grandparents were already home waiting, having prepared a lavish meal. He’d originally planned to stay the night—his room was prepared, and the bed had his childhood Albebé—a hand-sewn little cloth horse that was quite old.

Zhang Xingchuan momentarily regretted he hadn’t let him get a good night’s sleep there, being well-loved by relatives.

Tan Xiao really loved him, which is why, upon getting his call, he immediately sensed his mood was off and separated from his rarely-seen relatives to rush back. Tan Xiao was always like this—seemingly casual, but always subtly caring about Zhang Xingchuan’s feelings.

“I’m not a good kid,” Tan Xiao felt sorry toward his relatives here too. “I don’t spend enough time with them.”

After being returned to China from Europe, he’d been placed in Beijing for school, with two white nannies caring for and overseeing everything. He only got to see his mom a few times each year, and those visits were always very brief—like a puff of smoke.

Someone had told him his mom had abandoned him. He’d never felt that way. From a very young age, he understood the basis for the decision she made.

Back then, she’d entrusted her child to her parents and went overseas alone to Europe, personally hiring lawyers and finding media there. The Doria family initially thought she was fighting for a bigger share of the assets. But her goal was only to stir up public opinion locally—not for herself. She wanted her child to gain full recognition from the Doria family.

She was a high-achieving millennial woman who could have had a more brilliant life. For loving the wrong person, she’d nearly thrown away her first half of life. Love died; her mind came alive. Tan Xiao was still an innocent little child. As the most-loving adult, she had to make more precise strategic choices for him.

He’d told Zhang Xingchuan these past events before. After getting into university, the nannies left. He could go wherever he wanted. His first year, whenever he had time, he went to his mom’s house, going several times in a row. Their hearts were certainly close, but having been apart for years, there was still some awkwardness when together. And his uncle would feel uncomfortable with him there. Gradually, he became sensible, restraining himself, trying not to disrupt their lives.

“Once we’re done being busy,” Zhang Xingchuan said, “we’ll go together. Then you can play with your mom while I handle your uncle.”

Tan Xiao thought about it, smiled, and nodded. That uncle worked in customs, very proper but also very warm—seemed to be the same kind of person as Zhang Xingchuan.

“I love you,” Tan Xiao, guessing Zhang Xingchuan really needed to hear this, said. “I love you to death. I’ll never leave you in this lifetime.”

“Just keep loving me,” Zhang Xingchuan said. “Next time you go out, let me know. I… I was really scared you’d been kidnapped by your family.”

Tan Xiao found this funny. “This is China. They wouldn’t act recklessly.”

Zhang Xingchuan said, “Don’t make decisions on your own either.”

Tan Xiao couldn’t help exposing him: “Tell the truth—you’re just scared I’d secretly run away.”

“Not scared,” Zhang Xingchuan said. “If you run, I’ll chase you.”

Tan Xiao leaned over and kissed him. Zhang Xingchuan turned him over and held him down. Tan Xiao was actually quite tired but kept trying to cooperate.

He normally wouldn’t do this. They’d never had a predatory kind of relationship. But today he couldn’t help himself—he needed to repeatedly confirm Tan Xiao wouldn’t leave him, confirm that Tan Xiao, like him, would burn his bridges for this relationship, wouldn’t lightly give up.

Tan Xiao understood what he was thinking. But at that moment Tan Xiao was also a bit lost, unsure how long he could hold on.

At that time, Tan Xiao thought: if Wenjing really would face endless suppression, then… maybe we should break up.

He really did love Zhang Xingchuan. Thinking about possibly having to separate hurt his heart. But for Zhang Xingchuan and Wenjing’s freedom, he felt that little bit of pain was something he should be able to overcome.

From that night in Hangzhou until after the celebration banquet today, the two finally entwined like this again. They’d seen each other a few times in between, but time was tight and their states weren’t good—they’d used quick, efficient methods.

This time they both felt something different. Tan Xiao wasn’t cooperating with Zhang Xingchuan. Tan Xiao was eagerly seeking from him. This was undoubtedly what Zhang Xingchuan liked most about their union. They’d experienced it many times before, but tonight felt particularly different.

After resolving this crisis, Zhang Xingchuan, through this practical experience, had reconstructed and stabilized his own internal order.

He didn’t know what the future would hold. Challenges might still come, but he believed he had sufficient confidence and backing to face all unknowns. That strength came from his own conviction but also depended on the entire Wenjing team, and also stemmed from the grand transformations of worldly regulations.

“What’s going on?” Zhang Xingchuan said. “Why are you being so wild today?”

Tan Xiao said, “Wasn’t I wild enough before?”

Zhang Xingchuan asked, “It’s different. Did you drink too much?”

Tan Xiao even challenged him, saying, “I was the one who drove us back here, by the way.”

Zhang Xingchuan experienced extreme pleasure.

“Zhang Xingchuan,” Tan Xiao suddenly said.

Zhang Xingchuan’s breathing hadn’t even settled when suddenly being called by his full name. His Adam’s apple bobbed. He pretended nothing happened and turned to look at Tan Xiao.

Tan Xiao, who’d been lying on the other side, pondered something, rolled halfway over, hugged Zhang Xingchuan’s waist, and pressed his face to his chest.

Tan Xiao said, “I really can’t live without you anymore.”

“…” Zhang Xingchuan thought: you’re just resting your face on my chest—why make such a show of it? And calling my full name—trying to scare someone to death?

Zhang Xingchuan said, “Then never leave me forever.”

Tan Xiao said, “When I die eventually, I want to be buried next to you.”

Zhang Xingchuan started again, quickly looking at his expression. The kid wasn’t actually depressed, saying sick talk, was he?

But Tan Xiao was very serious about confessing. He then asked, “But can I get into your family cemetery?”

“Who cares about them,” Zhang Xingchuan thought this was truly an absurd topic. “If they won’t let you, we just don’t. We’ll scatter both of us into the sea instead.”

Tan Xiao laughed and said, “Scatter into the Shichahai.”

“…” Zhang Xingchuan said, “I’m about to be moved to tears and you’re here making jokes.”

But he was truly happy. He felt the gloom that had been hanging over Tan Xiao’s heart these past days had lifted.

“Big brother,” Tan Xiao said happily, having finally figured out what he’d been thinking. “Let’s get married.”

Zhang Xingchuan looked at Tan Xiao, his eyes rippling with laughter.

Tan Xiao said, “We don’t need law or ancestors to approve. Heaven knows, earth knows, you know, I know.”

He leaned over and kissed Zhang Xingchuan’s lips, saying with a smile, “Let’s get married. After that, I’ll be your husband, and you’ll be mine.”

Through President Fu’s relaying, in Zhang Xingchuan’s worst-case scenario, if he couldn’t win, he was willing to abandon his life’s work. He and Tan Xiao would go live differently, wandering the world, making everywhere home. That story from a parallel timeline—its detachment and poetry had completely captivated Tan Xiao.

Now before Zhang Xingchuan, Tan Xiao completely abandoned all reservations. Who cared about cunning old money aristocrats? Who cared about a queen sister with thunderous tactics? What about messy international business wars? Didn’t matter, didn’t care.

He was going to be with Zhang Xingchuan forever. If Wenjing stayed, they’d together be working ox and horse. If Wenjing failed, they’d together be wandering little dogs.

Zhang Xingchuan had long felt this was their relationship. But he also knew Tan Xiao wasn’t in sync with him yet. The kid still wanted to play, lacked commitment—totally normal.

He looked at Tan Xiao with surprise: what happened? When did my boy’s romance module suddenly update?

Tan Xiao said, “Never mind if you don’t want to.”

Zhang Xingchuan said, “Of course I want to.”

He held Tan Xiao in his arms, kissing him repeatedly, wishing he could instantly conjure up a wedding scene.

Hearing Zhang Xingchuan agree, Tan Xiao smiled. He’d never imagined he’d say something like a proposal. His face and ears turned a bit red.

That expression was just like when they’d first started dating.

When he’d been found by Zhang Xingchuan in the dorm and seduced. When he heard Zhang Xingchuan say he liked everything about him in a restaurant. When he’d shamelessly sat in Zhang Xingchuan’s guest room with bare legs. When he sat on Zhang Xingchuan at Shangri-La and said “is this not allowed, I’ll leave”… those moments.

This was Tan Xiao’s true self. He would blush, feel shy, occasionally be sad, but never somber. His eyes were always smiling, loving this world, full of courage.

No difficulty could ever again break his happiness.

“How come,” Zhang Xingchuan finally dared ask, kissing Tan Xiao as he spoke, “have you thought about leaving me?”

“…” Tan Xiao didn’t deny it, but softened. “I was wrong, big brother.”

Zhang Xingchuan asked, “Call me what?”

Tan Xiao said, “Husband.”

Zhang Xingchuan loved it. Tan Xiao usually only used this word when referring to him. First time saying it so directly.

Tan Xiao didn’t go to work the next day.

Secretary Feng had a small work matter to ask him about, sent him a message, but Tan Xiao was sleeping so dead he didn’t reply.

Secretary Feng had no choice but to ask the CEO.

The CEO handled the problem and told Secretary Feng, “Tan Xiao drank too much yesterday. Headache. Needs rest.”

At yesterday’s celebration, most people drank. The only two in the President’s Office who didn’t were Assistant Tan and Secretary Feng. Secretary Feng couldn’t drink because he’d just recovered. Tan Xiao had said he’d be the CEO’s driver afterward.

Secretary Feng obviously knew his idol was lying. But what could he do? Couldn’t expose him. Besides, Secretary Feng and Tan Xiao were on great terms now. At work he admired the CEO, but privately he and Tan Xiao were friends.

Assistant Tan, kindly driving the CEO home as the driver, couldn’t come to work the next day… Assistant Tan was good. Who was bad? Nobody knows.