Chapter 53#
World 2: I Want to Be a Fish in Your Pond#
Qin Qing sat quietly opposite Ye Rongzheng, neither frowning in surprise nor panicking in fear.
He reached out and gently pushed the hot tea he had taken a few sips of in front of Ye Rongzheng.
The reason he didn’t go to the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of tea wasn’t because he lacked manners, nor because he didn’t want to entertain the guest, but because he knew that once he got up and left at such a moment, Ye Rongzheng would fall into greater helplessness and unease.
“You just said, you killed someone?” Qin Qing asked slowly and calmly.
Ye Rongzheng raised his head, looked at him with dark eyes, and then placed a black glass marble he had been clutching in his palm on the coffee table.
With a light ding, the glass marble hit the table surface, rolled slightly, and refracted a dark shadow under the overhead light.
Qin Qing reached out, wanting to pick up the black glass marble.
Ye Rongzheng reacted strongly, grabbing his wrist and speaking urgently: “Don’t touch it!”
His handsome and wild face was filled with anxiety and fear. He, who wasn’t even afraid of death, was actually afraid of a small, lifeless glass marble.
Qin Qing didn’t try to touch the glass marble again, but instead held Ye Rongzheng’s wrist with his other hand. Separated by a table, their hands were linked together.
In this not-so-comfortable posture, Qin Qing leaned forward slightly and asked: “Why can’t I touch it?”
Ye Rongzheng looked at him silently for a while, his pitch-black pupils filled with struggle, rising and falling. Time passed minute by minute, the room remained quiet, the night wind stopped blowing, the fragrance of flowers dissipated, and even the lights seemed to dim a few degrees.
996 narrowed its eyes and yawned, a bit impatient.
Qin Qing, however, was not anxious at all.
“Take your time if you haven’t thought it through,” he said softly, “As long as you are willing to tell me the real reason, I have plenty of time for you.”
He had promised in the last world that even if his lover never woke up, even if they became strangers, he would spend every lifetime pursuing him.
A thin layer of sweat slowly seeped out from their clasped hands. The skin pressed together became damp and sticky, but it didn’t feel disgusting at all. Instead, it felt like being attracted by a magnet, inseparable.
An extremely sweet and strong fragrance spread in the air, which was Qin Qing’s unique scent.
Ye Rongzheng took a deep breath, and his constantly struggling heart settled at this moment.
Qin Qing held his wrist, and at the same time held his soul that was about to fall into the abyss of darkness.
Ye Rongzheng, who loathed and destroyed himself every day, suddenly had the thought that maybe living on would get better.
“This glass marble was my toy when I was a child.” Ye Rongzheng began to recount in a hoarse voice, “When I was five, I accidentally left it at the top of the stairs on the third floor and didn’t notice it in time. My three-year-old brother ran over to play with me, stepped on this marble, and rolled all the way from the third floor to the first floor.”
Ye Rongzheng paused, panting rapidly.
Qin Qing tightened his grip on his wrist.
Qin Qing felt that the current Ye Rongzheng was like a traveler hanging on a cliff. If he wasn’t given a rope, he would fall into the bottomless cold pool.
He had to hold him firmly, not relaxing even a bit.
Qin Qing covered Ye Rongzheng’s cold back of the hand with his left hand as well. His warm palm gently covered it, his fingertips rubbing those rapidly beating blood vessels and veins, calming them down one by one.
Under such gentle rubbing, Ye Rongzheng received the greatest comfort. He raised his head, and painful memories flashed in his bloodshot eyes.
“I killed my brother. My mother witnessed it all. Hearing her shrill cries, I ran out of the room, stood by the railing, and stared blankly below. There was a large pool of blood below, and my brother lay in the middle of it. I was scared silly. My mother pointed at me, cursing again and again. She said I was a murderer.”
Ye Rongzheng lowered his head, his voice hoarse beyond recognition.
Like a wounded beast, he panted heavily for a while before saying self-abusively: “I am a murderer! I killed my own brother. All these years, I have kept this murder weapon because I don’t want to forget this.”
“Why can’t you forget? It’s not your fault.” Qin Qing said calmly.
Ye Rongzheng shook his head and fell silent.
Qin Qing continued: “You thought I was someone you could trust, so you told me about this. However, I borrowed your money and disappeared, which made you realize I was a liar. Every word you said to me could be used by me as leverage to blackmail you, or even your entire family? Your mother would be further stimulated because of me, and your life would be ruined. Is this the reason you had to find me and take revenge on me?”
Ye Rongzheng didn’t look up; his heavy breathing was a tacit admission.
“I’m sorry.” He said tremblingly in an extremely suppressed and guilty tone.
Then, he gripped Qin Qing’s wrist tightly, as if afraid that this person would disappear forever the moment he learned the truth.
Qin Qing closed his eyes, analyzing every word Ye Rongzheng said repeatedly.
“When your brother rolled down the stairs, were you in your own room?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“How did you know your brother fell because he stepped on your glass marble?”
“My mom told me.”
“What about that glass marble? did you find it at that time?”
“I didn’t have time to look for it. My mom grabbed me and kept cursing and crying. It was my grandfather who rushed back and sent my brother to the hospital. I stayed in the hospital all night. The next morning, the doctor announced my brother’s death. My grandfather gave me this glass marble in the hospital corridor and told me to remember this lesson.”
Hearing this, Qin Qing was stunned.
He closed his eyes slightly and pondered for a long time, as if not knowing how to phrase his words.
A moment later, he continued to ask: “Where was your father when the incident happened? Didn’t your family hire a nanny?”
“My father married into the family and had to show results to gain my grandfather’s approval. At that time, my grandfather gave a company to my father to manage. To achieve results, my father only came back once or twice a week. The day before the incident, all the servants in the house were given a holiday.”
“Your father was often away, and your mother was a wealthy lady who shouldn’t be doing housework. She was taking care of two children alone, yet gave all the servants a holiday at the same time? Why?” Qin Qing couldn’t understand.
“I don’t know either. It’s been too long.” Ye Rongzheng closed his eyes painfully.
Recalling everything at that time again was undoubtedly torture for him. However, the person inflicting the torture was Qin Qing, so he could only endure it. He even constantly forced himself to recall deeper and deeper.
“Did you call the police at that time?” Qin Qing asked again.
“Yes.”
“What did the police say?”
“I don’t know. I was still very young, no adult would tell me such things. I only know that the police closed the case two days later. My father rushed back from out of town and held me crying all night. My mother broke into the room trying to snatch me from my father’s arms and strangle me. To stabilize her emotions, my father had to send me to my grandparents’ house, and I wasn’t sent back until two years later.”
Ye Rongzheng opened his crimson eyes, stared straight at Qin Qing, and smiled miserably: “You see, I am such a terrible person. I have carried sin since I was a child. I am a murderer. You are right, I don’t deserve your liking, I don’t even deserve to live.”
His hoarse voice carried a tremor of extreme pain.
If he hadn’t met Qin Qing, he wouldn’t have known that he longed to crawl out of the abyss so much.
If he hadn’t met Qin Qing, he wouldn’t have known that one day he would want to live so desperately!
He stood in a dark tunnel with no end in sight. In the deepest part of the tunnel, there was a point of light that he couldn’t touch no matter how fast he ran.
That point of light was Qin Qing.
He would keep running and running until he was exhausted…
He smiled so bitterly, but held Qin Qing’s hand tightly, unwilling to let go even in death. His eyes were locked on Qin Qing’s face, waiting for Qin Qing’s final decision like a death row prisoner waiting for the final sentence.
Would he be hated, rejected, feared, and then alienated?
However, Qin Qing had none of these emotions. He lowered his eyes, lost in thought.
996 sat at his feet and said openly: “This is Gong 1’s psychological trauma. He feels sorry for his whole family, and even more sorry for his dead brother, so he tortures himself every day. He races cars, he boxes, not for fun, but to seek death. Yun Siyu looks very much like his dead brother. Only by being with Yun Siyu can he gradually cast aside this guilt. His mother’s mental illness was also cured by Yun Siyu. It can be said that Yun Siyu’s appearance brought hope to their whole family.”
996 wagged its tail and sighed: “This is a very beautiful story of redemption!”
“No, this is a horror story of a mother killing her son.” Qin Qing suddenly said in his heart.
“Meow?!” 996 was stunned.
“Don’t you think some people’s reactions in this story are weird? A mother didn’t rush to call 120 for help after her youngest son was seriously injured, but instead grabbed her eldest son and kept cursing. Waiting for her father to arrive before sending her youngest son to the hospital, is this a normal reaction for a mother? Did she really want to save her child?”
Qin Qing pursed his thin lips, his tone becoming cold: “The youngest son was seriously injured. As the only guardian present at the time, the mother didn’t blame herself, didn’t regret, and didn’t try to save him. Instead, she pointed at the eldest son standing on the third floor who knew nothing, claiming he was the murderer. Is this normal? Even if she insisted on finding someone to take responsibility, shouldn’t she be the one most responsible?”
996 thought carefully, its eyes widening.
“The glass marble wasn’t found that day, but was handed to Ye Rongzheng by his grandfather the next day, specifically emphasizing that Ye Rongzheng shouldn’t forget he was the murderer who killed his brother. Is this normal? Doesn’t this look like brainwashing? If I were the child’s relative, I would wish to find the most professional psychotherapist to completely wash away the child’s memory. How could I use such a cruel way to make him remember this pain, make him feel guilty for a lifetime, and make him give up on himself? What is the difference between this and destroying him with my own hands?”
996’s big head could no longer think. It opened its mouth, gasping for air.
“Why did the grandfather do this? He pushed a child out to face police interrogation and legal judgment. Who was he protecting? Who could be more important than his grandson?” Qin Qing asked in his heart with an extremely cold tone.
The answer was self-evident. Besides his own daughter, who else could be more important than his grandson?
“Fake, it must be fake! You are making up stories again, right?” 996 couldn’t believe this absurd conclusion.
A mother killed her youngest son and then made her eldest son take the blame. This is too cold-blooded, too perverted!
“Where in the world would there be such a mother! I don’t believe it!” 996 shook its head repeatedly.
However, as soon as its voice fell, Ye Rongzheng’s phone rang. A video call came in, and the word “Mother” appeared on the screen.
Ye Rongzheng began to tremble, sweat cold sweat, and show a painful expression, then slowly let go of Qin Qing’s hand. This video call was like a soul-claiming demon, enough to swallow him whole.
But he had nowhere to escape, nor could he escape, because this was his sin!
“Mom.” The call connected, and he called out hoarsely.
“Where are you? Come back quickly!” A man’s voice came from the phone.
Qin Qing, sitting opposite the coffee table, stood up, walked to Ye Rongzheng’s side, and bent down to look.
A haggard-looking middle-aged man was rubbing his temples exhaustedly. Suddenly, a disheveled woman popped out from behind him, her bony face suddenly thrust in front of the camera like a magnified ghost face.
She stared at Ye Rongzheng and screamed: “Give Xiao Yu back to me! You murderer! Where is Xiao Yu? Where did you take Xiao Yu? Did you kill him? You devil! I will burn you to death! I will kill you to avenge Xiao Yu!”
The woman roared hysterically, jumped, and tore at her hair madly.
The middle-aged man hurriedly got up and hugged her, kissing her cheek and forehead while comforting her gently. This was Ye Rongzheng’s father. Even though his wife was crazy, he still loved her.
“Come back quickly, your mother needs you!” The middle-aged man stood with his back to the camera, hugging his wife tightly, and ordered coldly and forcefully.
“I’ll be right back.” Ye Rongzheng hung up the phone, turned to look at Qin Qing, the trembling pupils devoid of even tear light, leaving only dead silence.
His life was so hopeless.
“You are right not to like me.” Ye Rongzheng took his phone, grabbed the glass marble with a trembling hand, and walked towards the door wretchedly and staggeringly.
Coming here was to beg for love. However, after telling the truth, he realized that he didn’t deserve love at all.
Qin Qing sat on the sofa and didn’t chase after him to stay.
Ye Rongzheng looked back.
Under the warm yellow light, the person he loved looked so quiet and contented. His bewitching face was like a slowly blooming pure white epiphyllum, so beautiful that one dared not look too much. He was so clean, while he himself was already covered in the mud of sin.
“Just as you said, let’s not contact each other anymore.” Ye Rongzheng bent down to put on his shoes, a desperate choke hidden in his gravelly voice.
Qin Qing still sat on the sofa motionless.
The shoes wouldn’t go on, and when his movements became hurried, he swayed and almost fell. Ye Rongzheng hurriedly supported himself against the wall, looking extremely wretched.
His heavy breathing was mixed with the low nasal sound unique to wounded beasts. He was about to collapse.
Personally dissecting his rotten chest, taking out the heart that had long turned into pus, and showing it to the person he cared about most, this embarrassment and self-injury would tear the soul apart…
After today, he would use even crazier actions to kill himself.
That point of light at the end of the darkness, he could never catch up to it.
Ye Rongzheng buried his head deeply, daring not let Qin Qing see his red eyes.
At this moment, Qin Qing spoke faintly: “Your mother doesn’t seem to need you very much. She hates you. She will only be crazier after you go back, right?”
Ye Rongzheng was stunned, then said hoarsely: “No, she needs me. Seeing me, she can beat, curse, curse, and bite. Her hatred has a place to vent. If I’m not by her side, she will be crazy for a long time and hurt herself. If I go back, she will return to normal soon.”
Qin Qing seemed to nestle lazily in the sofa, but his eyes were already cold.
“You mean, your mother treats you as a punching bag?”
The words were harsh, but they were facts.
Ye Rongzheng nodded embarrassedly: “This is what I should bear.”
Qin Qing’s slightly red thin lips had turned pale as paper from being pressed too tightly. He considered for a few seconds, and when he wanted to speak again, Ye Rongzheng’s phone rang again.
“When are you coming back? Your mother is in a very bad state today. I give you twenty minutes, you must be home!” Ye Father said as if demanding his life.
“I’m coming immediately.”
The shoes that couldn’t be put on just now were immediately put on Ye Rongzheng’s feet.
“Where is that devil? Is the torch ready? I’m going to burn him to death today!” The sharp and piercing scream was like a steel nail scraping across a blackboard, making one’s hair stand on end.
“I asked Xiao Liu to prepare it immediately. You be good and don’t move.”
“You must help me kill him!”
“Okay, okay, okay, I’ll help you.”
“He is not our son, he is a devil!”
“I know, he is a devil.”
“You can’t hug him, can’t love him, can’t protect him!”
“I don’t love him, nor do I protect him. I only love you, and I only protect you, okay?”
Ye Father comforted her with utmost gentleness. Ye Mother panted heavily for a while, then cried hysterically. To be honest, this crying didn’t arouse pity at all. Instead, it was like an evil ghost raising sharp claws in hell, howling with hatred at the light of heaven.
Qin Qing closed his eyes, feeling extremely uncomfortable.
Even he, an outsider, found it unbearable. How would Ye Rongzheng feel hearing these conversations with his own ears?
His biological parents called him a devil to his face.
His biological parents discussed how to burn him to death to his face.
His biological parents said to his face that they would never love him.
Are they parents? They are the real devils…
Qin Qing shook his head, showing intolerance, but Ye Rongzheng standing at the entrance had a wooden face.
He had heard too many conversations like today’s in the past dozen years. In that home, he was not a member, but a criminal. The greatest meaning of his existence was to open his chest when his family was in pain, angry, or needed to vent, letting them stab knives into his heart one by one.
He didn’t deserve to live like a normal person. He only deserved to be stuck in the mud.
Ye Rongzheng looked at Qin Qing reluctantly one last time.
Qin Qing sighed faintly. No matter how angry he was before, facing such a helpless Ye Rongzheng, how could he not feel pity? Moreover, his anger was only thirty percent real.
Ye Rongzheng hardened his heart to withdraw his gaze and opened the door.
The video call hadn’t hung up yet. Ye Mother cried like a wild boar starving to the extreme. What this wild boar demanded was not ordinary food, but the flesh and blood of her own son!
“Don’t go.” Qin Qing called out lightly. His gentle voice penetrated the sharp crying and clearly entered Ye Rongzheng’s eardrums.
Ye Rongzheng stopped abruptly and looked back in disbelief.
Qin Qing looked straight at Ye Rongzheng and repeated: “Don’t go.”
Ye Rongzheng, who wanted to hang up the phone, was dumbfounded. He pointed at himself, his pale thin lips opening slightly, as if asking if this sentence was really for him.
“What are you still staring at? Come back quickly! Where are you?” Ye Father’s angry questioning came from the phone.
Ye Rongzheng’s eyes, which had just surfaced a glimmer of light, were swallowed by darkness again.
“I’ll be right back.” He said hoarsely.
“You stay.” Qin Qing extended his hand and beckoned gently, “You stay here, don’t go anywhere.”
His voice was as gentle as a silk tree flower, and the furry petals of this flower were tickling Ye Rongzheng’s eardrums.
Ye Rongzheng’s bottomless black eyes burst out with incredible light at this moment. He opened his mouth and asked extremely hoarsely: “Are you asking me to stay? Don’t you think I’m terrible?”
He pointed to his chest, looking at Qin Qing with extreme longing, as if confirming repeatedly.
Having told such a terrifying story, was he not rejected by Qin Qing? He couldn’t believe he could have such luck.
Ye Father’s urging came from the phone again: “What are you still staring at? Come back quickly! Who is talking to you? Can’t you see your mother is like this?”
The beautiful dream woke up at this moment, and deep sorrow welled up in Ye Rongzheng’s eyes. The glimmer of hope was right in front of him, but he dared not touch it because his hands were dirty.
He lowered his head and said quickly in a suppressed voice: “I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t go back.” Qin Qing spoke again.
“I can’t not go back.” Ye Rongzheng stood in place. The door was already open, but he hesitated to step out. He struggled between the abyss and the other shore.
Qin Qing looked straight into his eyes red with pain and suffering, and said slowly: “If I were present on the day of the tragedy, guess what I would do?”
Ye Rongzheng gripped the door handle in fear. Knowing he shouldn’t ask, he still asked: “What would you do?”
Would he push him away with disgust like his mother?
Qin Qing smiled gently with curved lips. This smile was illuminated by the warm yellow light like a pool of hot spring.
“I would hug you.” His words were also like warm spring water, pouring into Ye Rongzheng’s barren heart.
“At that time, someone should have hugged you and covered your eyes. It’s a pity I wasn’t there. If you stay today, I will hug you. This hug, your family owed you for more than twenty years, now I will give it to you.”
Ye Rongzheng never expected the answer to be this. Having been treated cruelly and ruthlessly since he could remember, he never thought that under those circumstances, someone would want to hug him, cover his eyes, and stop him from seeing those terrifying scenes.
Although he had never been treated like this, just imagining it a little made him feel so warm, so longing…
Ye Rongzheng froze in place, his body stiff, but his heart trembling violently.
Qin Qing extended his slender index finger, hooked it gently, and called low and slowly: “Come here.”
“Are you calling a puppy?” 996 rolled its eyes.
Then, Ye Rongzheng really came over, his steps urgent and heavy, his breathing rough and heavy.
When he walked in front of Qin Qing, he suddenly stood still, daring not get any closer. He was afraid that if he really pounced, this person would dissipate like clouds. Those comforting words gentle enough to melt his body, mind, and soul were all a fantasy.
Hot sweat covered Ye Rongzheng’s forehead wetly. The light in his eyes flashed and went out again and again.
Qin Qing sighed helplessly, then reached out and pulled gently.
This was the force of a breeze brushing over a leaf, yet Ye Rongzheng’s robust body pressed onto Qin Qing like a mountain.
Qin Qing followed his promise, hugging him with slender arms, one hand gently plowing through his short hair, the other hand gently stroking his stiff back, then slowly touching his handsome face, gently covering his eyes.
“Don’t go back.” Qin Qing whispered in Ye Rongzheng’s ear, exhaling hot and wet breath.
Ye Rongzheng closed his eyes and gave up all struggles: “Okay, I won’t go back.” His voice carried a tremor on the verge of losing control. No one had ever accommodated and forgiven him with everything like Qin Qing.
No wonder Qin Qing wanted equality, respect, understanding, and tolerance, because he did exactly that himself.
996 looked at the two hugging each other, faintly feeling that the redemption plot seemed to be collapsing again! Now there’s nothing left for Yun Siyu to do, right?
Ye Father’s extremely angry roar came from the receiver: “Ye Rongzheng, what are you saying? Are your wings hard now? Who is the person with you, let me see him—”
Ye Rongzheng decisively hung up the video call, then raised his eyes slightly, looking at Qin Qing pitifully.
Qin Qing smiled, his palm touching his handsome face, stroking it gently, and then pressed his head back into his warm neck hollow.
“Just hug like this, I won’t let go of you all night.” He whispered with a sigh.