Chapter 16#

The moon was a half-circle, the tree was not short, and Master Hua Rong was hung high upside down, his eyes closed in concentration, reviewing “Quiet Night Thoughts.”

“I didn’t expect you to look quite dashing hanging like this,” Han Lang appeared, tapping Hua Rong’s temple with his index finger, watching him swing back and forth without a change in expression.

Hua Rong opened his eyes, his smiling face squinting under the moon, his bloodshot eyes barely managing to shine.

The thick rope holding him up suddenly snapped with a muffled sound, and he fell headfirst towards the ground.

Han Lang extended his leg and hooked his foot, catching Hua Rong’s head before he hit the ground, preventing even a single drop of blood from spilling.

“My lord, you’ve come to break the formation and take me back,” Hua Rong stood up with difficulty, stretching his numb limbs, his face immediately wreathed in smiles as he gestured.

Han Lang sneered, patting his frozen, stiff face. “Do you think this prince is a master key? Able to open whatever I want? Compared to opening your chrysanthemum, I have more confidence.”

Hua Rong’s mouth hung half-open, at a loss for words; it was clear he had been hanging for too long and his brain wasn’t working properly for the moment. “The prince doesn’t know formations?”

Han Lang laughed heartily, pulling him to sit side by side, and looked around at the pitch-black surroundings.

“Since we can’t go back for now, why don’t we take advantage of this windy, dark night and have a tryst in the wild,” he suggested, twirling Hua Rong’s fluffy, messy hair with his finger.

How could the world’s number one bottom, Master Hua, refuse? He immediately broke into a smile, just about to express his keen interest, when Han Lang had already draped his own cloak over him.

“The prince is so kind, worrying that I’ll be cold before our tryst in the wild,” Hua Rong’s fingers danced.

“Hua Rong, you’re really hypocritical. This prince was injured saving you, and I haven’t seen a single ’thank you’ from you!” Han Lang blew on Hua Rong’s fair neck, his breath warm, but his eyes were icy cold, a thick killing intent quickly gathering and pressing down on Hua Rong.

“I originally wanted to buy supplements to show my filial piety, but then I thought—since the wool comes from the sheep’s back, I’ll just ask the accountant for fewer supplements for myself,” Hua Rong gestured, his reply flowing smoothly.

The wool comes from the sheep’s back. Good! Gutsy!

But this gut was not enough to make Han Lang not kill him. And Han Lang knew very well in his heart that he really didn’t want to kill him.

The night wind flowed slowly around them. Han Lang’s eyes lit up, and he suddenly gathered the cloak Hua Rong was wearing and pulled him to his feet.

“Time to go back!”

“Is the prince not in the mood anymore?” Hua Rong gestured suspiciously.

Han Lang rolled his eyes at him. “If we don’t go now, and the formation changes, I really won’t recognize the way out.”

Hua Rong understood and limped along behind Han Lang in a small run.

“Last time I saw the two-man comic act, weren’t your legs already very nimble?” Han Lang stood at a distance, waiting for him for a while.

“I was hanging for too long, the wound might have opened.” No matter how good Han Lang’s eyesight was, he couldn’t see clearly what Hua Rong was gesturing from a distance in the dark. He had long expected it to be some nonsense excuse, so he frowned, turned back, picked him up, and strode out of the formation.

Hua Rong lowered his head, resting his chin on Han Lang’s shoulder, but his eyes were bright, staring at Han Lang’s back, not missing a single change in the formation.

“Hua Rong, General Lin is returning in triumph soon. How do you think I should reward him?”

Han Lang suddenly asked, and in Hua Rong’s daze, the formation had already changed.

Han Lang squinted his eyes playfully. “Hua Rong, you’ll be a disaster sooner or later. And I happen to like you quite a bit. Why don’t you be my burial object after I die?”

Hua Rong wanted to gesture, but heard Han Lang cut him off. “Don’t bother gesturing, I don’t have eyes in the back of my head. Save it.”

Hua Rong tactfully stayed still, and the two of them exited the formation.

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As Han Lang had said, a few days later, Lin Luoyin indeed returned in great victory. Han Lang was overjoyed and held a private banquet for him as a welcome.

At the banquet, Grand Tutor Han smiled as he listened to people compare him to Bo Le. When a person is pleased, they naturally drink too much. In front of everyone, he specially granted Hua Rong, who was sitting beside him, a day off to catch up with General Lin.

It made no sense. Even if the righteous General Lin wasn’t into that, for Han Lang to be able to lend out his most favored Hua Rong in front of so many people was enough to show how highly he regarded him.

Praises rose again, and Han Lang raised his cup for a toast. Lin Luoyin tilted his neck back, drank the wine, and was about to stand up and grandly refuse, but when he saw Hua Rong staring at Han Lang without wavering, laboriously fanning the Funing Prince with a golden fan, he swallowed his words and did not object.

Han Lang was a man of his word. Early the next morning, Hua Rong took Hua Gui to report to the newly rewarded General Lin’s residence.

Lin Luoyin greeted them politely. Seeing Hua Rong’s half-smiling, shadow-like presence, he suddenly felt very unhappy again. He wanted to send Hua Rong back, but was afraid Han Lang would use it to make things difficult for him again. So he suggested, “Let’s go out for a walk and clear our minds.”

Hua Rong naturally agreed. As soon as they went out, he opened his golden fan and followed with a grand air.

Hua Gui was absent-minded, Lin Luoyin was naturally a man of few words, and Hua Rong was a mute.

Unexpectedly, the three of them were quieter than the next.

In the bustling crowd, the atmosphere between them was surprisingly awkward.

Unconsciously, the three of them had walked to a memorial archway. Hua Rong, being tactful, lowered his head and was about to go around it.

Lin Luoyin, not understanding the reason, reached out to pull him. But he saw him shake his head, hold up his fan, and point to the tall archway.

Hua Gui’s interest was finally piqued. He quickly cleared his throat, twisted his neck, and said, “General, don’t blame him. Prostitutes can’t pass under the archway, they can only go around.”

Only then did Lin Luoyin understand. But his hand was already holding Hua Rong’s. He was about to let go, but when he saw Hua Rong’s smiling face, without a trace of dejection, his heart knotted up again. He simply didn’t let go and pulled Hua Rong around the archway with him.

“How did you… think of getting into this line of work?” After passing the archway, as soon as the words left his mouth, Lin Luoyin began to regret it, but it was too late to take them back.

“Is Great Hero Lin interested in knowing about my master’s first time?” Hua Gui’s cleverness flashed for a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

Hua Rong tilted his head, slowly opened his fan with one hand, and pondered for a while, as if hesitating whether to reveal the secret.

Hua Gui’s basin-like face also leaned closer. “He’s already asked, so don’t act all high and mighty. Tell us, tell us, I want to know too.”

Startled by Hua Gui’s sudden approach, Hua Rong started hiccuping uncontrollably. Only then did Lin Luoyin let go of Hua Rong’s hand and comfort him, “If you don’t want to say it, then don’t.”

Hua Rong closed his fan, stroked the fan frame with his index finger, his eyes smiling into slits, and gestured intermittently while hiccuping.

Hua Gui stretched his neck that was singing to the sky and explained with great effort and embellishment, “When my master was down and out, he suddenly found a large mansion, magnificent but with no one living in it. So he greedily ate and lived there for three days and three nights. On the morning of the fourth day, someone came to invite him, and only then did he know that the house originally belonged to a young male prostitute who had disappeared for some reason. The people who came to invite him were a group of novices, and they just assumed my master was that person. At first, my master was very concerned about his face, shaking his little head and explaining frantically, but those rough people couldn’t read, let alone understand sign language. They just thought he was unwilling, so they forced him into it.

When they got to the place, they realized they had the wrong person. But how could the eager patron be willing? After much persuasion, they did the deed. Afterwards, my thin-skinned master received a lot of silver and felt it wasn’t much of a loss, so he patted his butt and left. And because of this incident, he decided to take a different path and become a great male prostitute.” A series of mistakes led to the creation of the ultimate bottom.

It was a long speech. After Hua Gui finished, he felt his mouth was dry and his tongue was parched, his eyes searching for a teahouse by the roadside.

Lin Luoyin was stunned after hearing it and didn’t know what to say. He simply lowered his head and started not saying a word again.

Extremely dull, utterly boring.

“You guys talk so little, you don’t need me at all. Over at Liu Yun’s, I… still have things to do, so I’ll go back first.” Hua Gui was blunt, beat a retreat, and immediately slipped away.

After walking for another half a day, Hua Rong was still hiccuping from time to time. Lin Luoyin frequently looked at him, and after being silent for a long time, he finally managed to put together a sentence in his mind, “I heard you were injured.”

Hua Rong nodded, his expression strange, clearly blaming Lin Luoyin for only opening his noble mouth after the translator had slipped away.

Immediately—Lin Luoyin had nothing to say again.

After another hiccup, the carefree and lively Master Hua shook his fan and walked ahead of the silent man. Lin Luoyin didn’t mind him taking the lead and followed willingly. After a few steps, Hua Rong closed his fan and stood still. Lin Luoyin was puzzled and followed his gaze. Stone steps led straight up, and at the end was a temple.

The largest temple in the capital, Tailai Temple.

“Hua Rong, you want to offer incense and pray to Buddha? Then let’s go together!” Hua Rong quickly waved his hands, and the hiccups suddenly stopped.

“Let’s go,” Luoyin urged.

Hua Rong smiled awkwardly, his eyes like crescent moons. According to the rules, he still couldn’t take a single step into the temple.

The Buddha said to accept what one must, but he never allowed a bottom to enter the hall at will.

Seeing Hua Rong’s embarrassment, Lin Luoyin remembered what had just happened and immediately understood. In a fit of passion, he grabbed Hua Rong’s right wrist and strode up the stone steps.

In the capital, Hua Rong was a celebrity. As soon as he approached the Buddhist temple, people looked at him sideways, with more contempt than curiosity.

For every step they took up, the neighborhood gossips added a few more, participating in the pointing and muttering.

How could a fight be allowed to happen in a place of Buddhist purity? Finally, when a plump woman bravely stepped forward, hands on her hips, about to point at Hua Rong’s nose, a temple guard monk piously stepped forward to stop her, but the one he stopped was the speechless Hua Rong.

“Benefactor, please stop.”

Lin Luoyin took a step forward first, blocking Hua Rong and questioning, “All beings are equal. Does paying respect to Buddha also depend on the person?”

The high monk smiled but did not answer. He walked around Lin Luoyin, and with an expression of three parts apology and seven parts fear, he pulled Hua Rong to a corner and muttered for a long time. Hua Rong put his hands in his sleeves and listened cooperatively.

Luoyin was puzzled and looked closely from the side. He happened to see the monk stuffing a few pieces of paper into Hua Rong’s sleeve. Hua Rong took the things, his face beaming with joy. He turned to Luoyin happily, pointed the way with his golden fan, indicating that he wanted to go back the way he came.

Knowing that Lin Luoyin was upset, Hua Rong, contrary to his usual self, diligently showed him goodwill with his eyes, but Luoyin turned a blind eye and pulled Hua Rong to ask directly, “What did that monk give you that made you so happy?”

Hua Rong smiled amiably, but with a guilty look on his face, his eyes uncontrollably glancing at his sleeve.

Luoyin was quick-witted and quick-handed. He fished out a few silver notes from Hua Rong’s sleeve, and his heart instantly sank. It turned out that the monk also knew how to judge people. He was unwilling to let a prostitute enter the temple, but was also afraid of offending Han Lang, so he gave money to “invite” Master Hua to get lost.

Seeing that his deed was exposed, Hua Rong’s smiling face fell. He blinked his eyes, reluctantly pulled out a few silver notes, and handed them to Lin Luoyin, the meaning clear: a share for those who see, let’s split the loot.

Lin Luoyin stared at Hua Rong blankly. He could see that Hua Rong’s eyes were as clear as a spring, but he couldn’t see through him at all. Seeing that he wouldn’t take it, Hua Rong painfully donated another one.

“Is this all the backbone you have? As long as you’re given money, it doesn’t matter how you’re insulted?” The questioner’s voice was deep and hoarse, his gaze fiery.

Hua Rong was stunned, raised his eyebrows, and scratched his head. Only then did Luoyin realize that this was the professional spirit that Hua Rong advocated.

Luoyin’s anger flared up. He turned and walked away. Hearing Hua Rong’s footsteps, he roared, “Go back, you don’t need to see me off!”

The setting sun shone on the ground. Hua Rong held his fan with both hands and bowed deeply to General Lin’s back, respectfully sending off Lin Luoyin, the great roc who had already spread his wings, maintaining his usual expression: a smile.

Taking a turn, Lin Luoyin’s pace gradually slowed down. Finally, he stopped and stood for a long, long time, until the sun set in the west.

After seeing Luoyin off, Hua Rong returned to the manor to report. Unexpectedly, Han Lang had returned early. Without changing out of his official robes, he sat high in the main hall, losing his temper.

Hua Rong listened from outside the hall and learned that it was because Liu Nian had not yet returned and there was no news of him.

It was a rare opportunity to show off. Hua Rong personally made tea and served it to Han Lang.

“What did you get today that made you so happy?” After the scolding, Han Lang drank the tea and calmed down a bit.

Hua Rong immediately gestured that it was because he had been away from the prince for so long and missed him very much.

Han Lang sneered and glanced at him. “I think you feel that Liu Nian not coming back is a good thing for you.”

Hua Rong quickly shook his head in denial.

Han Lang did not pursue the matter. “I’m going out tonight. You don’t need to serve me in changing. Stay in the manor and don’t follow.”

Hua Rong nodded.

“Also, I want to borrow your precious fan. Don’t worry! I won’t borrow it for free.”

After hearing this, Hua Rong gestured cheerfully, “The prince is still the best, he understands the little one’s thoughts the most.” Han Lang gave him another look and said no more.

That night, the Funing Prince visited Tailai Temple. The abbot of the temple, a grandmaster of his generation, smiled and asked Han Lang’s purpose in coming.

Han Lang laughed heartily and slowly unfolded the borrowed fan. The three words “Dian Qian Huan” on its face glittered in the light. “Tear down the temple!”

Not long after, amidst a chorus of grievances, Han Lang announced, “From this day on, all temples and Taoist monasteries throughout the country must also pay taxes to the court. For those who violate this, Tailai Temple is the best example. In addition—” Han Lang paused and then said, “You all better remember for this prince, from now on, seeing this fan is like seeing this prince. If anyone sees this fan and still refuses entry to someone, they are looking down on me, the Funing Prince.”

The next day, the proposal for monks to pay taxes became law and was promulgated throughout the land.

Unfortunately, the court was no longer a place where Han Lang could cover the sky with one hand. The very next morning, someone impeached him for his arrogant behavior.

Han Lang lowered his eyes and did not argue a single word. The Minister of Works had already stepped forward in court and actively defended Han Lang.

He reported to the Son of Heaven that taxing the temples was the fastest and most effective way to replenish the empty national treasury in a timely manner.

The whole court agreed without a word. Han Yan stood to the side, also smiling but saying nothing.

What a move, borrowing flowers to offer to Buddha. It was just that Han Yan didn’t understand whose flowers he, Han Lang, had borrowed, and which family’s Buddha he had offered them to. He fiddled with his fingers, guessing in his heart what Han Lang’s expression would be when he learned that Liu Nian would never return.

The whole court was silent.

Han Lang lowered his head and gradually felt that he couldn’t breathe smoothly. So he raised his hand and covered his lips, suppressing a few coughs.

The crimson between his fingers was striking. Han Lang was slightly stunned, but the blood and qi in his chest could no longer be suppressed. Suddenly, it all surged up to his throat.

The situation was out of control. He actually vomited blood in court and collapsed in front of all the officials.

The court was in chaos. The Son of Heaven turned pale, rushed down from the dragon throne, and held Han Lang’s neck tightly, helpless but not making a sound.

Han Yan’s eyes narrowed, beginning to doubt the Emperor’s constant silence.

But at this moment, Han Lang held on to his last bit of clarity, met Han Yan’s gaze, and said, “Your Majesty, this subject is fine and will be well tomorrow…”

“Your Majesty, should Grand Tutor Han go to the palace to see the imperial physician?”

Only after Han Lang fainted did Han Yan speak, squatting down and looking at the Emperor’s tightly closed lips.