Chapter 44 - 1#

I couldn’t sleep all night. Aside from the gunshots that kept flashing through my mind, there was the incessant sound of screaming echoing in my ears.

When dawn broke, Du Yijie walked in. I had just sat up. He was undoing his tie as he walked toward me, then he sat on the bed, cupped my face, and kissed me hard a few times. He only stopped when I frowned and pushed his hand away.

“Just woke up?” Du Yijie stroked my cheek, smiling faintly, his voice tinged with fatigue.

I didn’t answer him, just lay back down and turned on my side.

He chuckled, reaching out to play with my hair, pinching my cheeks, and rubbing the back of his hand against my face. After a long while, he patted my shoulder and said, “If you’re awake, get up. Come downstairs with me to eat.”

I struggled, but he dragged me off the bed anyway.

He pinched my chin, seemingly in high spirits as he said, “Finally put on some weight, but you can’t just eat and not move, or you’ll turn back into a little fatty.”

I lifted my eyes, and for some reason, replied as if I were joking, “If it would make you lose interest in me, I don’t mind becoming as fat and ugly as I can be.”

“Oh.” Du Yijie steadied me, kissed my face, and said softly, “Then you don’t need to trouble yourself, Xiao Qi. I love you no matter what you look like.”

I let out a soft, mocking laugh and wiped my face with my hand.

Du Yijie took me downstairs. The others were already gone, and the living room was tidy, with even the sofa covers replaced. The perfume scent was a bit strong, yet it couldn’t fully mask the lingering stench of blood in the air.

Du Yijie brought me to the dining room, but the table was completely empty. At this hour, the cook was also resting, so I couldn’t help but look up at him.

He made me sit down, poured me a glass of water, and said, “Be good, wait for me.”

The house was quite large. Apart from the main kitchen on the other side, there was a small kitchen attached to the dining room, roughly the size of a kitchen in a regular house. Du Yijie walked into the kitchen, and I tilted my head slightly to look in that direction.

Then, he was busy in there for quite a while.

When he came out, there were two bowls of porridge and some fried eggs on the tray in his hands. He set them before me as if presenting a treasure, took a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his hands, and wore an indescribable smile on his face. “I haven’t cooked for myself in many years.”

I looked at him, and he put a spoon in my hand, sat beside me, and rested his chin on one hand, watching me with great interest.

I lowered my eyes and drank a few mouthfuls of porridge, then heard him say, “Does it taste good?”

I didn’t answer him, and he didn’t ask again. He simply drank all the porridge in his own bowl in one go; he looked quite hungry.

I said, “You eat it, I’m not hungry.” I pushed the porridge toward him.

Du Yijie wiped his mouth and smiled, “You eat. This is just how I eat. When I was a kid, we were poor, so whenever there was food, I’d just shovel it into my mouth. Even now, with delicacies on the table, I still eat like this.”

“Can’t help it, since I come from humble beginnings, I never learned any manners.”

I mused, stirring the porridge in my bowl.

After a long silence, I said, “Did you know…?”

“Sister Xin is dead.”

The smile on his face paused slightly, then he replied with an “Hmm,” clasping his hands together and saying nothing more. I ate a few more bites, but eventually couldn’t finish it. Du Yijie took the bowls and chopsticks and walked into the kitchen.

I watched his back, gradually feeling a sense of bewilderment.

After eating, Du Yijie took me for a walk outside the house.

The courtyard wasn’t large; besides a small pond and a few flower beds, there was only a swing. Du Yijie reached out and pushed the swing, saying, “When I bought this house, this thing was already in the yard.”

“Xiao Qi.” He suddenly grabbed me and pressed me onto the swing.

“Hey, you…” Du Yijie pressed down on me, his face full of smiles, saying enthusiastically, “Xiao Qi, sit on it, and I’ll push you.”

“Du Yijie, I’m not a child, and I’m not a wom…”

Before I could react, Du Yijie grabbed the swing and gave it a push. I leaned back due to momentum and scrambled to grab the edge. Du Yijie was really getting into it, pushing me again after I swayed. This time my mind was clearer; I jumped off the swing, took a few steps forward due to the momentum, and just as I was wobbling to stand steady, Du Yijie leaned onto me from behind.

I cried out in shock, and as we both tumbled to the ground, he flipped over, causing me to end up lying on top of him.

“…What are you doing!” I struggled to get up, but Du Yijie wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, laughing as he let me push against him.

“Du Yijie, you—”

He suddenly went quiet.

“Xiao Qi.” He reached out and touched my bandaged left eye. “I’m sorry.”

I looked at him, silent for a moment, and said, “The person you need to apologize to isn’t me.”

Du Yijie smiled, “It’s hard having only one eye, isn’t it?” I glanced at him and tried to crawl up, but Du Yijie wouldn’t let go.

I pushed him hard, he laughed a few times, then suddenly grabbed my arm and said, “Xiao Qi, haven’t you really figured it out?”

“Figured what out?”

He looked at me.

In the sunlight, the pupil of his right eye was a bit light in color. I stared at him, then was slightly stunned. He pulled my hand and touched his own right eye, saying, “I know that feeling. Only having one eye—in the beginning, every step you take is wobbly, and you can’t even aim a gun.”

“This is…” I looked at his right eye, “It’s fake…?”

He helped me sit up.

I was still staring at him, stunned.

Du Yijie brushed the weeds off my clothes as he said, “Do you remember Master Han?”

Master Han was Du Yijie’s former patron.

He said, “He is actually my biological father.”

“He and my dad—oh, I mean the guy who took the bullet for Master Han—they used to be in the business together. But Master Han gained fame and fortune, and fearing that my dad would compete for territory later, he intentionally created a ruse; he was the one who actually killed my dad.” Du Yijie recounted this without emotion, as if these events had nothing to do with him.

“My sister and I started wandering. Then, when my sister was in her teens, she started sleeping with people. Later, Master Han discovered I looked like him and suspected I was the child conceived during the time he raped my mother…”

Du Yijie paused for a moment, looked at me, and gave a faint smile.

“I grew up in a gutter. Except for my sister, nobody cared about me. Then, after that incident with you, Master Han sent me to Hong Kong. I muddled through for two years, and Master Han’s foster sons hunted me down several times. It was more miserable then than at any other time. Eventually, an elder in the underworld took me back to Singapore to let me hide out.”

“As soon as I got back to Singapore, I went to look for my sister. Xu Chenghong was still working for Master Han back then. I thought about learning a trade or something; anything would be better than the constant killing. Heh…”

He looked at me and asked, “How do you think my sister treated me?”

I looked at him, not knowing how to answer for a moment, cold sweat breaking out on my forehead.

“Tsk…” he smiled mockingly, “Do you know? Xiao Qi, my sister… she couldn’t stand the instigation of her husband and sold me out.”

He held my hand, his lips curled up: “My right eye was gouged out by them at that time. Yes… and my hamstrings were severed, but fortunately, they were reattached, so it’s nothing serious. If it weren’t for Ah De, I would have been killed back then.”

My eyes widened slowly.

“From that moment on, I stopped believing in so-called family ties. There is no such thing as a relationship in this world that doesn’t change.”

“No… Sister Xin… she—”

Du Yijie looked at me, his expression darkening. “I know, she’s dead. She killed that gambling-addict husband of hers and then committed suicide.”

“Xiao Qi, she has no one to blame but herself; this was her own choice. She had some happy years; she wore designer clothes, and even the dog she kept ate better than I did in Hong Kong. Later, when her husband became like that, it’s not like I didn’t give her a chance—but what did she say? She said children can’t be without a father—what nonsense. She was just afraid I would take revenge on her.”

“Later, the elder who helped me took me to the United States to develop. I worked for the Jin family and met that idiot young master, Desi, who had nothing to offer besides his face. I slept with him a few times, blocked a bullet for his old man, and then did some things behind the scenes.”

Du Yijie kissed my lips and said, “Xiao Qi, this world is not as beautiful as you think or see.”

“It’s that person who protected you too well.”

“That’s why you’re like this, unable to withstand even the slightest gust of wind or devastation…”

In the afternoon, Du Yijie went out. I sat dazed on the sofa in the room all day, and later drifted into a hazy sleep.

My dreams have been a bit fragmented lately.

However, this time, I dreamt of a distant scene.

I dreamt of him.

It must have been when I was very young, back when the Persian chrysanthemum garden in the backyard was still there, the petals drifting melodiously in the wind. I tilted my head and, vaguely, met his eyes.

He stood by the window, his head slightly bowed.

My face flushed bright red, and I hid behind a tree, carefully peering up at him.

He lowered his gaze, his lips moving.

…Qi Qi.

I snapped my eyes open.

Sitting beside me was Du Yijie, his arm around my shoulder, asleep as well.

When I sat up straight, Du Yijie woke up too. He let out an “mmph” and pinched the bridge of his nose, looking rather exhausted. I looked at him, then turned my eyes away and said, “If you want to sleep, go sleep in the bed.”

He looked at me, slightly stunned, then suddenly laughed and grabbed my hand to go to the bed, but I shook him off.

The days continued with a semblance of peace. Du Yijie didn’t seem busy anymore and spent most of his time in the house.

Other than kissing me, he didn’t do anything out of line these past few days.

Occasionally, Du Yijie would do some strange things, like taking all the clothes out of the closet and making me try them on. Or he would make me scold him or hit him, saying it was fun to see me angry.

Or like today, when he suddenly said he wanted to go on a date.

“Xiao Qi, we’ve been together for so long, and we’ve never had a proper date.”

I looked outside and said, “Please drive carefully.”

He smiled, his mood pleasant.

Du Yijie must have gotten a recommendation from someone, because he took me to see a movie—it was a midnight showing, the entire cinema had been booked out; besides the bodyguards, it was only him and me.

It was an art film.

Du Yijie said that the director had been criticized for many of his films, but he felt they were quite realistic.

The movie was set in the 1960s, about a young errand boy who falls in love with a showgirl and likes to sneak glances at her. The showgirl also likes the boy, but always puts on an air of superiority in front of him. She circles between various men, planning to save enough money to finally be with the boy. In the end, she finally waits for that day, but in the final scene, she sees the boy wearing an old suit, holding a small bunch of flowers, giving them to a young girl with braided hair. Then, when she turns away, heartbroken, the rich merchant, who had been left with nothing because of her deception, points a gun at her.

Then, the ending song began to play.