Chapter 39 - 1#

At first, this thought only sprouted as a small seedling in my heart, but what spurred its growth was probably Wang Zheng.

He somehow got a whole thick stack of self-guided travel brochures, tossed them in front of me, then turned around and went off to study recipes, or holed himself up in the kitchen for half a day. In his words, since he’d decided to make a living out of this, there was no way he was going to half-ass it. Once he found a clear direction, he seemed to get his energy back, his whole self gaining momentum, and even pulled out the bankbook he’d been hiding so tightly.

The money wasn’t much, but if we pooled it with mine, we could barely afford a place to settle down in a small town. Wang Zheng even drew up a plan. I only glanced at it and sighed inwardly—what a waste. Smart people really are different; he meticulously calculated how to use that little bit of money and even managed to set aside some for a small business.

Wang Zheng explained it all to me with great enthusiasm, and finally vowed, “If you stick with me, you’ll never starve. I’ve thought it through—we can save up slowly, and when we have enough, we’ll move somewhere else and start over. We’ll keep doing this for eight or ten years, and when we’re tired of traveling, then we’ll settle down.”

I raised an eyebrow. It did sound pretty good.

I hadn’t planned on hiding this from Master Ren. When I decided to resign, he had already been discharged from the hospital, but he hadn’t returned to his remote mansion. Instead, he was staying temporarily in a hotel in the city center, which was very convenient to visit. Those days after I’d sorted things out, the pressure really did lighten, and I wasn’t so tense when I went to see him.

Besides, now he was the only blood relative I had left.

Whatever happened in the past life or before, whether it was a misunderstanding or not, I shouldn’t dwell on it anymore.

This time, whether it was because of proper recuperation or, as the doctor said, because he was in good spirits, Master Ren recovered much faster in both body and mind than before. Within a few days, he didn’t need anyone’s support and could get out of bed and walk on his own.

When I came that day, Zhang Ting cheerfully said that the Third Master had just woken up and was washing up, and asked me to wait a bit. The hotel room had several floor-to-ceiling windows. I couldn’t help but walk over, pressed my hand against the glass, and looked down.

About the fortieth floor.

If someone fell from this height, they’d be smashed to pieces, unrecognizable. But come to think of it, back then I didn’t even have time to feel the pain…

“Qiri!” A sudden shout came from behind me. A hand yanked me forcefully inward, and I startled, turning to look.

“Third… Third Uncle…?”

He looked at me as if in terror, sweat trickling down his forehead, his pale white hand gripping my elbow tightly.

“Third Uncle? Are you feeling unwell? Have you taken your medicine?” Seeing his expression was off, I was about to go to the inner room to get his medicine when he lowered his eyes and shook his head. He closed his eyes, as if he had just seen something horrifying.

I couldn’t help but bend down to look at him. Master Ren took a few deep breaths, slowly opened his eyes, and reached out to touch my face. His touch was as cold as ever, but for some reason, I felt his hand was especially icy and bloodless today.

I frowned. “I’d better get the medicine.”

I remembered Xu Changsheng saying that Master Ren’s episodes had become much less frequent over the years, but when they did come, you had to take very careful care of him—no slacking off.

“Qiri.” He pulled me back, shaking his head. “It’s nothing. Third Uncle… just thought of something unpleasant.”

Hearing this, I subconsciously glanced at the floor-to-ceiling window. Master Ren took another deep breath and said, “Qiri, don’t stand over there anymore.”

I didn’t have time to think it over; I just nodded at him.

Afterward, I coaxed him into taking his medicine. The amount Master Ren had to take in a day, including antibiotics and such, was at least twenty or thirty pills. I watched him grab a handful and put them in his mouth without changing expression, then take a sip of warm water. When he looked up and met my eyes, he paused, leaned forward, and asked softly, “Qiri, is the medicine smell too strong…?”

I shook my head. My mouth felt bitter, but I only said, “No, it’s fine. Don’t think like that, Third Uncle.”

He turned and had someone put away the medicine bottles, then smiled gently at me, his icy hand patting the back of mine.

I noticed then that his shoulder-length hair was damp—maybe he hadn’t had time to dry it. Master Ren couldn’t use a hairdryer; it easily gave him a headache. But if he left it like this, he’d likely have a headache later anyway. I looked at him, feeling a bit awkward, and said, “Third Uncle, let me dry your hair for you.”

I had done this before, in my past life.

Back then, I had even washed his hair. In those days, I was young and hot-headed, treating Master Ren, my elder, like a father to be filial to. Master Ren had something of a cleanliness obsession—he insisted on showering several times a day, especially after taking medicine. I thought maybe he was afraid the medicine smell would linger on him.

Back then, I didn’t have such a big hang-up about him, though I did have plenty of reverence. I felt that serving him was a huge deal, so when Xu Qinghong said they were going to wash Master Ren’s hair, I volunteered to help. At that time, I had only ever washed my son’s hair. Facing an elder like Master Ren, I couldn’t help but be nervous—I didn’t dare to be the slightest bit playful. I carefully wet his hair with warm water, constantly asking if it hurt, if the pressure was enough… Master Ren smiled faintly the whole time, looking very satisfied.

Now, once again, my slave mentality surged, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I felt a bit presumptuous.

But Master Ren seemed to pause at my offer, and before I could take it back, he nodded.

Drying Master Ren’s hair was also an art; you had to control the pressure well, or you’d feel panicked if you pulled out a few strands.

In front of the mirror, I quietly lifted my eyes to study his features.

Actually, we did look alike in some ways.

His eyebrows were thin; mine were thin too. His jaw was smooth; I had little facial hair. His forehead was high; mine wasn’t low either—I was probably going to go bald later. Thinking this, I suddenly found it amusing. Master Ren going bald? What would that even look like?

“What?” He suddenly spoke, and I froze as if caught red-handed. “Nothing, nothing…”

He smiled.

After drying his hair, I carefully combed it for him.

“Third Uncle, there’s something I want to tell you.” He was in a good mood now, so I figured I’d bring it up quickly. “I’ve decided to resign.”

He nodded at that, looked up, and said softly, “That’s good.” After a moment of silence, he turned back and patted my hand. “Qiri, why don’t you come and help Third Uncle?” He paused, then said, “…Let Third Uncle feel at ease.”

I shook my head. “I want to travel around first.”

He looked at me with slight surprise, but quickly lowered his eyes, clasping his hands together.

“…Where are you going?”

I said, “I haven’t fully decided yet. I want to see all the places I’ve never been before.”

Master Ren was silent, his expression unchanging, but I knew he didn’t really approve.

I sighed. “Third Uncle, I don’t want to hide this from you. Wang Zheng is coming with me.”

This time he frowned. I thought for a moment and said gently, “Third Uncle, I’ve thought it through carefully. I used to think that the farther I got from home, the freer I would be—that I didn’t owe the Ren family anything… Actually, I was just being stubborn, Third Uncle.”

I looked at him and continued slowly, “Give me some time to think things through more clearly. I’ll come back. Wherever I go, I’ll leave word.”

He stared at me without blinking, his hand moving unconsciously. I understood and reached out to hold it. His hand trembled slightly. Then he turned his head, closed his eyes, and only opened them again after a long while, looking back at me. “When are you leaving?”

I said, “Maybe in two weeks, or next month.” There wasn’t much stuff at home; packing wouldn’t take long.

Master Ren slowly nodded, finally let out a breath, and squeezed my hand as if in resignation.

His voice sounded a bit choked, weak as he said, “These few days… spend more time with Third Uncle.”

I nodded.

He leaned forward and hugged me very gently. I was a little stunned, but his hands softly stroked my back as he murmured, “Third Uncle will wait for you. You have to come back, you know…?”

When I handed in my resignation letter to Catherine, she was very calm. She just asked why I had suddenly made this decision. I told her I just wanted a change of mindset. She accepted the letter and said, “I’ll handle the matter with Mr. Du. Don’t worry too much.”

When my colleagues at the firm found out I was leaving, they clamored to throw me a farewell party. I wanted to refuse, but once Catherine took the lead, there was no getting out of it. The whole group went out for dinner after work, and of course, that wasn’t the end of it—they booked a private room for drinks and karaoke.

By the end of the night, only I and two girls who hardly drank were still sober. We split up to call cabs and send everyone home. By the time I finally got to head back, it was already quite late. Wang Zheng had called a few times—the first few calls were fine, but the later ones got more and more plaintive.

It really wasn’t fair to leave him alone at home. Wang Zheng basically had no friends. He was quieter now, still outwardly proud, but actually quite insecure, under a lot of psychological pressure. That was one reason I wanted to take him along. He shouldn’t ruin his life over those so-called dreams.

I paid the cab and got out, and as soon as I looked up, I saw a black car parked in front of the apartment building.

Du Yijie was leaning against the car door, cigarette butts at his feet. When he saw me, he stubbed out the cigarette between his fingers and walked slowly toward me.

“Xiao Qi.”

I nodded at him with a smile. “Mr. Du.”

His expression shifted slightly. He sighed and said in a low voice, “Xiao Qi, let me explain.”

“Mr. Du, I know that whole thing was a misunderstanding. I understand. If there’s anything, we can talk about it another time. It’s late now.” I explained gently. Whatever that incident was about, it didn’t matter much to me anymore, and it wouldn’t matter in the future either.

Du Yijie’s expression grew even darker. I said “Sorry,” and turned to go upstairs.

Du Yijie grabbed my arm. “If you’re angry, I can make it up to you. I know excuses are just excuses, but Xiao Qi—” His tone turned icy. “Didn’t you already know what kind of person I am?”

“You’re wrong,” I said. “I don’t know what kind of person you are. But I do know what kind of person Big Brother Du is.”

Du Yijie paused.

I looked at him, gently pulled my hand free, and said slowly, “The Du Laoda I know is a man of deep emotions and a gentle man. He loves his sister, his friends, and… he was kind to a chubby little kid.”

Du Yijie looked at me silently, then let out a derisive laugh. He turned back and fixed his eyes on me. “That’s ridiculous. You don’t know him at all.”

I shook my head. “Maybe I never really knew him. But that version of him did once exist in my life.”

“Even if it was brief,” I said, lowering my eyes. “I cherish that feeling. Even if it was fake.”

Du Yijie tilted his head back and said quietly, “You’re too naive.”

I smiled bitterly and nodded. “You’re right. My naivety lies in thinking I could accept him unconditionally and trust him completely.”

Du Yijie’s face was ashen. Abruptly, he grabbed my arm again and took a deep breath. “Xiao Qi, we were both wrong! We should start over—”

I winced from the pain, and then suddenly I heard a sharp shout: “Let him go!”

Wang Zheng strode over, shoved us apart, and stood in front of me like a hen protecting her chick, staring warily at Du Yijie.

Du Yijie was taken aback. Wang Zheng stood in front of me, glaring at Du Yijie.

I quickly patted Wang Zheng and said with a laugh, “Don’t worry. This is my former client. I just resigned, and he came to ask about the situation.”

Wang Zheng clearly didn’t believe that. He pressed close to me, silent.

Du Yijie recovered first. He looked at Wang Zheng, quickly composed himself, and with a casual air shrugged his coat and gave a faint smile. “Looks like we won’t be reaching an agreement. I’ve already discussed the contract with Miss Li. There won’t be any consequences.”

I nodded and shook his hand. “Thank you, Mr. Du. I’ll apologize to you properly another time.”

Du Yijie smiled as he shook my hand, cast a sidelong glance at Wang Zheng, then turned, opened his car door, and drove off.

I watched him go. When I turned back, Wang Zheng’s brows were deeply furrowed. He tugged at my sleeve and snorted, “Stay away from him from now on.”

I said, “Let’s go upstairs. Aren’t you cold?”

Before he could answer, he sneezed. I shook my head with a smile and opened my coat to share it with him.

He rubbed his nose and struggled a few times, stubbornly saying, “Don’t think you can bribe me. I won’t be bought off that easily.”

“Yes, yes, yes… I’m afraid you’ll catch a fever if you get too much wind, Lord Wang.”

“I’m not that delicate.”

Suddenly, he reached out and put his arm around my shoulders. “Don’t believe me? We can test it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How? Compare stamina? Hmph.”

He chuckled. “No rush, no rush. You’ll find out sooner or later. Just wait.”

Seeing his smug expression, I reached up and slapped his face.

We finished packing up everything. We sold the half-new furniture to a secondhand store. Since the rent for our place was paid through next month, we weren’t in a hurry to move. After resigning, I had a lot more free time, so besides visiting Master Ren, I spent the days at home with Wang Zheng getting everything sorted.

Wang Zheng seemed to have a strong aversion to Master Ren. Whenever I mentioned him, his face would change and he’d go stiff and silent. I knew he knew something about the past life, so I’d awkwardly pull him and say, “Don’t worry about it. You said it yourself—it’s all just dreams.”

Wang Zheng would shake his head, then nod, and hug me from behind. “Qiri, let’s leave soon. I feel… unsettled.”

I nodded and smiled bitterly in agreement.

We bought tickets. We were going to City M first, then transferring to a little town there. It was a small tourist spot a colleague had told me about. From the brochures, it looked like a nice place. The week before we left, Wang Zheng was bursting with excitement. He could hardly sleep at night, constantly in high spirits, and he was taking fewer pills. Master Ren didn’t say anything more about it. Those days I spent with him, he didn’t bring it up again either, though his mood seemed a bit unpredictable.

But on the whole, everything was going well.

That day, Wang Zheng said he was going out to buy some things.

The night before, he had slept in the same bed with me. I hadn’t slept well at all. When he said he was going out, I lazily opened my eyes and grunted in acknowledgment.

Wang Zheng pouted, crouched down, and suddenly leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.

“I’m going out. Call me if you miss me.”

As he hurried out the door, I was still staring blankly.

Then I sat up.

Looking outside, it all felt too unreal.

I let out a sigh, pulled the blanket up, and flopped back down.

It had been raining heavily for days. Only today was sunny. The weather was so beautiful it made you feel happy without meaning to.

I think I’ll remember that day forever.

The imprint of Wang Zheng’s lips on my cheek—just for an instant, not even long enough to savor.

That afternoon, I got a call from the hospital.

Wang Zheng had been in a car accident.

By the time they rushed him to the hospital, his injuries were too severe—he didn’t make it.

Before I left, I grabbed an extra coat.

It was the one Wang Zheng always wore. He said when he left this morning that it had cleared up outside, so he didn’t need to bring it.

I folded that white coat carefully and put it in a bag.

He was afraid of the cold. I had to remember to bring it for him.

The hospital was far from where I lived. I stood at the intersection for a long time before I finally got a cab. I hugged the coat close; whenever I lowered my head, it was filled with his scent.

It felt like something distant, yet so close.

Today was warm. Wang Zheng said we were going out for dinner tonight. He’d already made a reservation. He told me the Chinese food at that restaurant was amazing, and it was nearly impossible to get a table. He’d queued up for it half a month ago.

I asked him: What’s special about today?

He said: It’s Wednesday.

I asked him: Where’s your watch?

He said: It’s old. I pawned it and got a new one.

The hospital corridor stretched on and on.

“The victim suffered a massive lung hemorrhage from severe impact. There were no signs of life on the way to the hospital.”

“Sir, please accept my condolences.”

Just before they opened that door, I thought of Wang Zheng as a child—small, cheerful, like a beautiful little angel from afar.

I had loved him for a very long time.

Loved him for so long that he had gradually become a part of my life.

It was only when that feeling was truly ripped away from me that I realized there is a kind of pain that can suffocate you.

I walked toward him.

The air was cold, making my eyes sting. Nothing would come out.

I looked at Wang Zheng in silence.