Chapter 38 - 1#

When I rushed to the hospital alone, the moment I saw Cheng Chen, I hurried over, grabbed him, and asked, “How… how is Li Ling?”

He glared at me coldly, grabbed me by the collar, and slammed me hard against the wall, yelling, “Something this big happened to Xiao Ling, and you didn’t tell me a single thing! What the hell are you doing?!”

He clutched my collar, making it hard to breathe as I struggled to break free. A middle-aged man nearby stepped over, held Cheng Chen back, and said, “Stop making a scene. If you hit someone, it’ll be recorded. You don’t want to get punished, do you?”

Cheng Chen gritted his teeth and shoved me away. I stumbled and fell to the floor.

“Cheng Chen, listen to me—” I rubbed my sore neck, gasping as I looked up at him.

“Does taking everything on yourself really give you that much satisfaction?” he said, his gaze icy. “In your eyes, I’m still that useless punk, aren’t I? You take everything on yourself—what kind of ridiculous heroism is that?”

Cheng Chen clenched his fists. “Yeah, Xiao Ling likes you, and you still pretend to be a good buddy, handing the chance over to me. Do you think I’m that easy to mess with?”

“No! Cheng—”

He grabbed my hand. “Are you going to say you didn’t know about this? Don’t be so self-righteous. You always think doing this is best for everyone, but you’re really just satisfying yourself! You know you can’t do much, yet you still put on that reliable, magnanimous face and help. When you can’t actually pull it off, you act all innocent. That’s how you end up hurting people, you know that?!”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Cheng Chen, why…” would you say something like that?

“You think I’m wrong?” he said through gritted teeth. “Then let me ask you—what’s going on between you and Du Yijie?! Don’t treat me like an idiot. Who is he? He’s not the same Brother Du from before! What do you think he wants from you? Don’t flatter yourself. If you had no use to him, a guy like that wouldn’t give a damn about you!”

I stood there dumbfounded, at a loss for words.

“Enough, Xiao Chen. This is ugly.” A middle-aged man in an overcoat patted Cheng Chen on the shoulder. “Hey, the doctor just came out. Go check on her.”

Cheng Chen ignored me and strode over. I scrambled to my feet and started to follow, but the middle-aged man grabbed my arm and said, “I just asked—they’ve pumped her stomach, and she’s fine now. She’s on an IV. From what Xiao Chen said, I think that girl might not want to see you right now. Xiao Chen’s temper’s flaring too. It’s better if you don’t go over there and stir things up. Let us pass on the message.”

He shook his head, rubbed his brow, then looked at me with a kind smile. “I’m Xiao Chen’s supervisor. I keep an eye on this reckless kid. Don’t take what he said to heart. Young people have hot tempers. You’re all friends, and she’s the girl he likes—so he’s bound to be nervous.”

He patted my shoulder as if to comfort me. I looked away, my eyes dry, something stuck in my throat. I couldn’t say a word.

I stood outside the hospital room. The door was open. The doctor was still speaking quietly to Cheng Chen, who was holding Li Ling’s hand, listening intently, his eyes rimmed red.

I slowly leaned my head against the doorframe. Even sighing felt exhausting. The air was so cold my fingers curled stiff.

In the end… I couldn’t accomplish anything.

When I got back to the apartment and opened the door, I saw Wang Zheng wrapped in a blanket, sitting in the entryway. He had his legs pulled in, his nose red—looked like he’d caught a chill. It was autumn now, the weather turning cold, so of course he’d catch a cold waiting by the door. I crouched down and looked at him. He opened his eyes first, then stirred groggily. When he finally saw me clearly, he slowly sat up straight.

“You’re back…?” He glanced at me, then hesitated. “…How is she?”

I forced a smile at him. “…She’s fine.” Then I nudged him. “If you want to sleep, go sleep in the bedroom. Lie down on the bed. Don’t catch a cold.”

Wang Zheng’s complexion had improved a lot lately, but he was still a bit weak. A little wind made his hands and feet go cold. I pulled him up from the floor, but he just stared at me blankly. I smiled again and smoothed down his messy hair.

He grabbed my hand. “I’m not sleeping.”

I frowned, puzzled. Wang Zheng said calmly, “I just had a dream.” He looked at me, his voice echoing faintly in the room.

I nodded and stepped past him toward the bedroom.

Wang Zheng tugged at my sleeve and followed me inside.

This had become a habit of his lately.

As I took off my coat, he hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my shoulder. “Aren’t you going to ask what I dreamed about?”

“You and that woman… Her name is Li Ling, right?”

He spoke casually, his voice sounding distant.

“She was ‘Wang Zheng’s’ secretary, wasn’t she? She was your junior in college, then came to work at the company. You two were close. She was loud and dramatic, but she always got things done when it mattered.”

“You trusted her a lot. You told her many things, didn’t you? She could come and go from the president’s office as she pleased. She knew the password to your laptop. She could even move documents around without anyone knowing—”

Wang Zheng said slowly, “Someone like that. Why are you still so good to her?”

“Do you feel guilty?”

“Because back then, she also tried to kill herself. When she was being abused at home, you thought you didn’t show her enough care, didn’t reach out to her. So her betrayal was unavoidable. But you didn’t forgive her right away…”

He continued calmly, “And then she died.”

“That’s enough!”

I shoved him away hard and turned around. In the mirror, I saw my reflection—my eyes red and bloodshot.

Wang Zheng stumbled back a few steps, hitting the closet before steadying himself.

I took a few deep breaths, walked over, and helped him steady himself. With a strained smile, I said hoarsely, “I’m sorry. I took it out on you. Go ahead and sleep. I need some time alone to think.”

“Qi Ri.” Wang Zheng suddenly grabbed my hand. “I’m not saying this to make you feel bad.” He chose his words carefully, speaking softly. “I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days. You’re right… we have no right to demand anything of you.”

“Whether those things really happened or not, whether anyone remembers them, you should have a life of your own. I know you want to make up for some things, but…”

He looked at me.

“Everything is already different now.”

“Nothing you’re going through right now has anything to do with the past.”

He raised both hands and cupped my face, saying, “Look at me. Besides my appearance, what else is the same as that ‘Wang Zheng’?”

Wang Zheng took my hand and pressed it against his own face. Smiling, he whispered, “Feel it. I’m not the same as that person. I’m not him. You shouldn’t pass judgment on me, and you shouldn’t pass judgment on yourself either… You’re different from that ‘Ren Qi Ri’ too. His experiences don’t belong to you. You’re just yourself.”

His expression was calm as he looked at me. “The only one I like is the Ren Qi Ri standing here right now. The past—whether it’s real or not—has nothing to do with my feelings for you.”

“I’ve figured it out, you know?” He looked up, glanced around the room, and murmured softly, “No one owes anyone anything. It’s just…”

He wrapped my hand in his palm.

“Your story doesn’t only have you in it. You don’t have to trap yourself in a dead end. You should also… grant me a release outside the court, shouldn’t you?”

I looked at him, my vision blurring.

I knew that what Wang Zheng said was probably right. And maybe what Cheng Chen said wasn’t wrong either.

Maybe I was trying to satisfy myself by doing things for the people around me. Then, when they got close, I’d feel annoyed and back away.

I was just stubbornly hoping everyone could live in a world I thought was best.

The next morning, when I got out of bed, Wang Zheng was wrapped around me. I prodded him, and he groggily opened his eyes, then pulled the blanket over his head and mumbled, “You make breakfast today. I’m so sleepy…”

I grabbed a pillow and smacked him. “Don’t you have an interview today? Stop sleeping. Get up.”

Wang Zheng covered his face with the blanket and said gloomily, “No need to go. The result’ll be the same.”

I tugged at the blanket. “What are you talking about? Get up—”

“Ha ha…” While munching on toast, Wang Zheng suddenly laughed out loud.

I frowned at him. “What’s so funny? Eat your toast.”

“You put on so much jam. Aren’t you afraid it’ll be too sweet?”

“None of your business.”

Wang Zheng and I left the house at the same time. He was neatly dressed, and except for his pale complexion, he looked like a model young man full of ambition. I straightened his tie, patted him, and smiled, saying, “Today’s definitely going to work out.”

Wang Zheng raised an eyebrow. “Who knows.”

I smiled bitterly and shook my head. Wang Zheng suddenly put his arm around my neck and swayed me back and forth. “Do you want to know what I was laughing about?”

I pushed him away. Wang Zheng chuckled a few more times and whispered in my ear, “Don’t we look like… a newlywed couple?”

Before I could react, he said with sudden realization, “No, more like reunited lovers.”

I reached up and smacked his face.

Later, I went to see Li Ling. But just as Cheng Chen’s supervisor had said, she didn’t really want to see me. I figured we both needed some time. She’d been feeling down lately, and all I could think about was helping her escape the shadows and get treatment. But I forgot that during that time, what she really needed was emotional support.

But besides friendship and familial love, I had nothing left to give her.

Cheng Chen took a long leave to stay with her. Seeing them together like that—it was pretty nice.

But Cheng Chen misunderstood me. When we met, things weren’t as harmonious as before. He always avoided my eyes. I knew he felt bad too.

Bai Junrui called to say that Uncle Shu’s condition had worsened, so he was going to W City for long-term treatment. But before that, he suddenly asked—Is Wang Zheng living with you?

—You! You! I don’t even know what to say to you! Let him wait! If he dares to touch you, I’ll cripple him!

Bai Junrui’s thuggish personality was growing worse by the day, especially after he found out that Wang Zheng and I were living together. He’d call the house every now and then to check in. At first, Wang Zheng would obediently let him lecture him. But now, as soon as he heard Bai Junrui’s voice, he’d purse his lips, turn to me, and say, “Qi Ri, your darling son’s looking for you.”

Every time, it made my heart skip a beat.

I knew Wang Zheng didn’t mean anything by it. He and Bai Junrui just didn’t get along. Last time they argued, Wang Zheng shot back with, “Qi Ri obviously doesn’t care about you. Why are you such a pest?”

Bai Junrui replied, “I’m happy to treat him like my dad. That’s none of your damn business!”

That was the origin of it.

But considering their ages, Bai Junrui calling me his dad wasn’t that far-fetched… If my ‘good son’ grew up, he’d probably be just this demonic.

But I ran into trouble at work.

Du Yijie seemed to be having some issues. Whenever I met with him, it was usually just to hand over documents for Catherine at set times. His office was constantly filled with grim-faced people, but he never bothered to send me away. He always let me sit in and listen.

Then, just as winter was about to set in, the front-page headline was a report about a gang shootout and a warehouse explosion.

The colleague at the desk next to mine sipped his coffee, glanced over, and said, “You saw it too? Tsk, the cops can’t even handle it anymore. What a mess.”

John from across the room dropped some photocopied documents on my desk and chimed in, “I’m telling you, it’s not that the cops can’t handle it—they just don’t want to. Let them fight it out among themselves, then take them all down at once.”

“Hey, Ren, aren’t you supposed to go meet a client?”

I gathered up the documents and forced a faint smile.

When I arrived at Du Yijie’s office, I didn’t see him. Instead, I saw A’De standing by the automatic door. When he spotted me, he waved.

I pretended to act natural as I walked over. He blew a puff of smoke at me and said, “Big lawyer, you sure work hard.”

I nodded at him. A’De suddenly reached out and blocked my way. “Brother Du isn’t here. He told me to wait for you. We’re going to have lunch with some big shot later.”

“Hey, having a lawyer around for proof always makes things a bit more stable, right?”

I was about to explain that we had to follow proper procedures, but A’De grabbed me and pulled me downstairs, then shoved me into a car.

—

I sat awkwardly in the car. A’De was in the passenger seat, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He got a call halfway through and suddenly roared a string of curses, smacking the driver on the head and shouting, “Hurry the hell up!”

When we reached the grand entrance of the international hotel, he got out first. I opened my door too.

“Bang.” He suddenly slammed his hand on the doorframe, bent down, looked at me through the car window, and said in a dangerous tone, “I’m warning you. Just stand behind Brother Du and watch. Don’t say a word.”

I stared at him, a little stunned, then nodded. Satisfied, he pulled me out of the car.

A’De had a strong grip. He dragged me along as we walked briskly. Everyone around us lowered their heads. He was pulling my arm so hard it hurt, but the way he looked now—fierce and menacing—it didn’t seem like we were going to a meal. It felt more like we were heading to a gang fight.

My eyelids twitched uncontrollably. When the golden, patterned doors of the elevator opened, the long hallway was covered in dark red carpet. Flanking both sides were rows of black-suited bodyguards standing at attention.

A’De cursed under his breath, grabbed me by the collar, and shoved me forward.

My heart was full of confusion and unease. Just as I was about to turn around, he pulled out a gun from somewhere.

The muzzle was pointed straight at my head.

“…!” I stared at him in shock.

The bodyguards around us reacted when they saw the gun. A’De let out a cold laugh and announced loudly, “This guy here is your old man’s precious jewel. We’re not here to cause trouble today. But if we can’t even bring a little insurance, how’s that supposed to work, huh?”

With one hand, he held me. The cold muzzle shifted to press against the back of my neck.

“Why are you—”

He pushed me from behind and said, “Don’t try anything funny. As long as you behave, I won’t hurt you. If you want to blame someone, blame your uncle. He tried to play us, so I’ll take it out on his precious treasure.”

Papers scattered everywhere. I swallowed hard, my hands clutching the edges of my clothes.

The bodyguards looked at us warily, unsure if what A’De said was true. They could only let him drag me step by step toward the door of the room ahead.

“Open the door,” he said coldly from behind.

I took a breath. My palms were slick with cold sweat. It took a few tries before I managed to turn the handle and push the door open.

As the door swung open, it made a crisp sound.

I lifted my eyes and looked ahead.