Chapter 34 - 2#

“Is cappuccino okay?” I nodded.

Bai Junrui handed me the coffee, sat down on a chair next to the vending machine, and gulped down his canned drink in frustration.

I looked at him with some concern, carefully choosing my words, but what came out was: “Uncle Shu will be fine.”

Bai Junrui didn’t respond. He just turned his head to look at me.

“No,” he said slowly. “He won’t.”

I looked at him, confused.

Bai Junrui shook his head and said softly, “I’ve actually always known Dad doesn’t have much time left.”

How could it be… that he didn’t have much time?

In my previous life, when I left, Uncle Shu’s health was still quite robust. How could… I couldn’t bring myself to say those words.

In this life, so many things had changed.

Whether it was people, things, or emotions.

It shouldn’t have been like this, but the track that we were once on had already shifted.

“Dad’s only wish is to see Shu Yuan become a happy bride, marrying someone she loves, no matter who it is… Can you understand?”

I nodded.

I understood a father’s feelings. I always had.

“Before, he didn’t think that way. He wanted Shu Yuan to marry someone from a matching background, young and accomplished.”

He looked at me and said in a deep voice, “You already know about Wang Zheng’s situation.”

“He was abandoned by his own family.”

I tightened my grip on the can in my hand.

“Back then… you know what I’m talking about. The Wang family doesn’t only have him as an heir. Besides…”

I knew.

Wang Zheng’s biological mother was a bar hostess.

Bai Junrui gave a mocking smile. “The Wang family wouldn’t offend the Ren family for him. The old lady could no longer protect them. That person…” Bai Junrui paused, then continued without changing his expression, “In short, Wang Zheng was forcibly sent abroad back then, while you were still unconscious.”

“What about the injuries on his body—” I asked instinctively.

Bai Junrui shook his head. “I’m not sure about that. You’ll have to ask him yourself.”

“Shu Yuan fell out with Dad over him and insisted on going to England. Dad only had her as his daughter. Could he really cut ties with her? Besides… last year, Dad also knew he didn’t have much time left.”

Bai Junrui was silent for a moment.

Then he turned to look at me.

“Xiao Qi, you’ve been avoiding me lately, haven’t you?”

I was startled and mechanically turned to look back at him.

Bai Junrui smiled, as if asking casually, “When did you find out?”

When…

I lowered my eyes.

“That day, that night…”

Bai Junrui nodded, leaned back, and said in a somewhat cheeky tone, “I carefully inspected the scene. You’re so slow to catch on. How did you figure it out?”

“That… inside that place, there was…”

“There was what?”

I widened my eyes and glared at him.

Bai Junrui grinned smugly. “You didn’t find out until a few days later, did you?”

“…”

“So, you suddenly didn’t dare to answer my calls?”

“You started coming home late, saying I was busy and didn’t need to visit you?”

“Ha—” Bai Junrui slapped his forehead and let out a soft laugh. “I knew it.”

I looked down, feeling embarrassed.

Bai Junrui looked at me and asked quietly, “So… I have no chance?”

I turned my head, glanced at him, and said, “Uh… no.”

To me, Bai Junrui was like an older brother on the surface, but in my heart, he was like a son—someone who was outwardly one way but inwardly another, a bit willful, but never someone I had to worry too much about. He could always keenly grasp my thoughts and was mature enough to make my heart ache.

Over the years, I had never thought of him in that way.

Bai Junrui patted my shoulder, stood up, and said, “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear what you just said.”

I paused and looked up at him.

“Brother Bai…?”

“I still have a chance. I firmly believe that.” He looked full of confidence. “This development is just right. I thought I’d have to wait another ten or eight years. The situation is much better than I expected.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll keep trying. I’ve never been someone who gives up easily.”

“Brother Bai, listen to me…” I suddenly felt a bit frustrated. “I’ve always thought of you as my—”

Bai Junrui looked away and cut in, “Don’t say it.”

“…”

“Even though I’m thick-skinned…” Bai Junrui smiled. “I can’t handle a second rejection from you.”

“Don’t say it yet. When the time comes and I really have no hope left, then you can tell me clearly.”

He took a deep breath.

“Then I’ll tell you… everything.” His eyes were different from usual. Suddenly, he walked over, cupped my cheeks, quickly planted a kiss on them, and then hurried away, turning back to stick his tongue out at me.

『Dad—』

In a daze, I seemed to recall something.

That good boy also liked to suddenly kiss my cheek and then quickly run away—

Turning back, he would stick his tongue out at me…

I touched my cheek. That softness and warmth seemed to linger on my skin.

I called Catherine to ask for leave. Her first question was how the party went. I stammered through a vague description and also asked about Judy’s illness. The little princess had been binge-eating sweets lately and hadn’t lost any teeth, but she had upset her stomach instead.

[Judy is fine now. She just asked me why Uncle didn’t come to read her a story. Here, Judy, say hello to Uncle.] [Uncle—] Hearing the child’s voice warmed my heart, and I promised Judy that I would finish telling the story of the Frog Prince next time. The sound of the child cheering came through the receiver, and I couldn’t help but smile.

I longed for a simple life. Things too complicated drained me of the energy to even think.

I had muddled through thirty years in a hurry, and before I could make sense of things, my life had rewound once more. I had always thought this was a chance to escape the past.

But the truth was, no one could escape the past.

Unable to escape, I remained fixated—whether it was the Ren family or anything else. I thought that by staying away from all of this, I could get the life I wanted—simple and peaceful.

When I walked back to the hospital room, I looked at Wang Zheng lying on the bed, then stepped forward and pulled the chair next to the bed to sit down.

“Wang Zheng, let’s talk, okay?”

Without thinking, I reached out and smoothed his bangs.

“Don’t open your eyes just yet. I know you’re awake.” I noticed his fingers tremble.

“If you open your eyes and look at me… I’m afraid I won’t be able to continue.” I let out a soft sigh, a bit self-deprecating. “Don’t give me a chance to crawl back into my shell. I thought about it for a long time before I made up my mind to say this.”

Wang Zheng didn’t move.

“Those dreams that have been troubling you all along…” I clasped my hands together and said softly—

“They really happened.”

“You can think I’m lying, because even now, it doesn’t feel real to me either.

But those things did happen. I don’t know what you saw or experienced in your dreams, but what I am sure of is that the Ren Qiri standing before you now and the one in your dreams—the one who only knew how to chase after you, watch you, the Ren Qiri you despised—is the same person.

However, this kind of thing has no scientific basis at all, right?” I smiled, lowering my eyes, then looked up at the window.

“In your dreams, I was always chasing after you, clinging to you, annoying you endlessly. Then, following Grandma Ren’s last wishes, I got married and had children. You said a lot of hurtful things, and I slapped you. Do you remember? But I regretted it immediately. You were right—I’m kind of pathetic.

I arrogantly thought I could make it up to you, no matter how much you hated me or looked down on me. Before I married Shu Yuan, I kept telling myself that maybe, just maybe, you had a little bit of feelings for me too. Even a little bit, that would still be affection, and I would be… so, so happy.

But life isn’t just about emotions. There’s also responsibility. I had responsibilities to the Ren family, to my wife and child, as the eldest grandson. Do you understand? I always knew you were talented and superior to me in every way, but…”

I paused, took a breath, and felt my nose sting.

“But can you understand this, Wang Zheng? No matter how weak and useless I am, there’s one thing I want you to know—”

“No kind of feeling can withstand repeated destruction.”

“Once, I had an unusual obsession with you. Do you know what you meant to me? Can you believe that I once thought you were my entire life? When I was little, you held my hand and told me to follow you. No matter if all of that was sincere or not, I still want to say—”

“I really, really—” I used the tip of my finger to wipe away the teardrop sliding from the corner of his eye.

I really loved you.

“I’m actually not a very strong-willed person. I knew you for over ten years. Even after I got married, I still had a strange attachment to you. But that was my limit. Your betrayal, I cannot forget. You ruined me, stripped me of my power in the company, and bought up Ren family shares at low prices…”

“You trampled on the most basic trust I had in you. Completely, without leaving any room.”

Wang Zheng suddenly opened his eyes wide. The tears pooling in them rolled down onto my hand. He seemed to struggle to breathe, opening his mouth.

I felt as though I had collapsed back into the chair, a sense of emptiness rising in my heart after destruction.

I couldn’t find any pleasure or relief in condemning Wang Zheng.

“Qi, Qi Ri…”

“Let me finish,” I interrupted him. “If you don’t let me say this now, I will never be able to say these things to you again in the future.”

My palms stung, my nails seemingly digging into my flesh.

“After my life started over, I sought a way out for myself. And at that time, all of you suddenly came rushing back into my life. When I chose to step back from your lives, you jumped out to accuse me. Now I’m confused. Whether it’s you, Uncle San, or Shu Yuan, you corner me with truths I don’t know about, as if telling me that I’ve been living in a ridiculous world of my own making. You have your tragedies and hardships, and I am so unforgiving.”

I looked directly at him and shook my head gently. “I really can’t do it, Wang Zheng. When you refuse to tell me anything clearly, yet demand that I understand you. I admit that no matter what you’ve done, I can choose to forgive. But that doesn’t mean I understand or comprehend.”

“There are things I want to hold on to, and regrets I want to make up for.”

Wang Zheng suddenly screamed, “Then what about me?!”

He grabbed my hand, trembling all over. “Then what about me?! Me! So you just pass judgment on me like this? Because of that ‘Wang Zheng’ who betrayed you, you kick me out of your life with your generous attitude!”

I looked away.

Wang Zheng struggled to sit up, roughly pulling at my collar. His face twisted as he sobbed, “Why do I have to be treated like this because of some strange thing like that! You forgive me? Hah—Why do I need your forgiveness! I don’t!”

He suddenly tore open the buttons of his shirt. I stared blankly at him. On his thin body, above the left side of his chest, there was a scar.

He choked, his eyes wide as he held my collar tightly. “This wound still hurts sometimes. Do you remember what you said to me back then? You said—Wang Zheng, don’t be afraid. I’ll solve this with you. You kept saying that in my ear. Do you know what I was thinking at that moment?”

“At that time, I thought… Hah, so he can talk to me so gently too. He said he’d solve it with me, that he wouldn’t leave me. Then I could wait for him—I could wait until he graduated. No matter what Dad or Ren Sanshao said, even if I was no longer the young master of the Wang family, I still had him. Because he said he wouldn’t abandon me, he would be with me—”

“But when I woke up, where was I? Can you understand? In a completely strange place. I didn’t know a single person. Nothing was familiar. I could only lie in bed, like a useless person. I endured for a year. I begged Dad to let me go back. I just wanted to see you. But what did I get? You were gone! During that time, you never once asked how I was or where I was. You just left like that—”

“I didn’t believe what Dad said. I ignored his warnings and sneaked back to Singapore… I couldn’t even enter my own home, let alone the Ren residence. No one would accept me. I had lost my value as the young master of the Wang family. Only this scar and the pain on my chest reminded me that there was someone who told me he would be with me. It wasn’t a dream. It was real. I heard it. But what was waiting for me?”

I looked at him calmly and said, “That was my fault. I’m sorry.”

Wang Zheng suddenly roared again, “I don’t want your apology!” He lunged forward, grabbing my neck, pulling my hair, and frantically pressed his lips to mine.

I pushed him hard, and in a moment, I had him pinned back on the bed. I stepped back a few paces.

Wang Zheng lay on his back, then let out a light laugh.

He turned over, burying his head in the pillow, unable to stop laughing.

“I’ll be with you…” I said. “I’ll stay with you until your treatment is over and you recover. As for the rest…”

“I’m sorry… this time, I really, truly can’t give it anymore.”

Wang Zheng suddenly grabbed the pillow and hurled it at me.

“I’m not so down and out that I need your pity!” His voice was hoarse, tears streaked across his face. “What you said is all excuses! Just excuses for you to get rid of me! Rebirth? Those damned dreams? I don’t believe it! Oh, and that woman just now—do you like her? Do you love her? Impossible! Absolutely impossible!”

I shook my head slowly and said, “No, I love her.”

Wang Zheng froze.

“That is the love for a family member.”

I looked at him, my tone more resolute than ever before.

“But that is not a reason or an excuse to reject you. Please don’t profane this feeling.”

As for the one I truly love…

He is someone who has nothing to do with my past, or with your dreams.

If love means involuntarily thinking of someone, remembering every word they say…

Then perhaps, that is how it is.