Chapter 4#

Palace Banquet: Choosing an Empress is the Same as Choosing a General#

So sour, so painful.

After sleeping for who knows how long, Yanzhi struggled to wake from his dream.

“Mm…”

He instinctively lowered his head, burying his face in the warm, hard fabric in front of him, rubbing it forcefully like a kitten washing its face.

His body felt sore and painful everywhere, his eyes were dry and stinging, and his throat was parched.

So uncomfortable.

He felt as though he hadn’t slept well at all.

Yanzhi rubbed for a bit, changed his position, and lay flat on the bed, wanting to sleep a little longer.

Anyway, the Emperor hadn’t sent anyone to call him.

If the Emperor had something for him, he would have come to grab him by the collar and pull him up directly.

Just then, the familiar cold voice came from above his head—

“What do you take me for? A face towel? Or a blanket?”

“Your… Your Majesty…”

Yanzhi instantly woke up, suddenly lifting his head, eyes wide and round.

The bed curtains were down, making the interior dim.

The Emperor was leaning back on the couch, legs crossed, holding a memorial in his hand.

And he was clinging to the Emperor, having just treated him like a blanket, rubbing his face against the Emperor’s chest.

Xiao Cuan looked down at him with cold eyes: “Stupid?”

“I was disrespectful, please forgive me, Your Majesty…”

Yanzhi hurriedly let go, wanting to get off the Emperor.

Xiao Cuan, however, reached out and pressed his head back down.

“Don’t move, let me see.”

“Ah?” Yanzhi was confused.

Was there something on his face or head?

Why was His Majesty…

Just then, the voice of a palace servant came from outside the hall.

“Your Majesty, all the civil and military officials have entered the palace and are waiting outside Taihe Hall…”

Before the servant could finish, Xiao Cuan reached out and pulled back the bed curtains, throwing the memorial with a flick of his hand.

The memorial slammed against the door with a loud “clank.”

The palace servant outside didn’t dare speak again and retreated silently.

Xiao Cuan didn’t even look back, still pressing down on Yanzhi’s head, staring at his face.

Yanzhi was anxious from being stared at, wondering if he had done something wrong again, and tried to call out: “Your Majesty…”

Xiao Cuan’s tone was indifferent, interrupting him: “Did you dream about me when you were sleeping?”

Yanzhi was startled, his eyes widening further: “How did Your Majesty know?”

Xiao Cuan didn’t answer, but asked instead: “What did you dream about me doing to you?”

“No… nothing, just dreaming about Your Majesty.”

Xiao Cuan didn’t doubt he was lying. Holding his face, he commanded: “Say you like me.”

“Ah?” Yanzhi was even more confused.

Xiao Cuan’s tone deepened: “Say it!”

“Yes…” Yanzhi pursed his lips and obediently repeated, “I like Your Majesty.”

“And the rest. Don’t be lazy,” Xiao Cuan said coldly. “Say that long string of words you usually say.”

“Yes.” Yanzhi counted on his fingers, one sentence after another. “Your Majesty is a great person, I like Your Majesty… I like you very much, I especially like you, I like you more than anyone in the world.”

“Good.”

Only then was Xiao Cuan satisfied. He curled his lips, gave Yanzhi’s hair one last rub, and got off the couch.

“Let’s go. Your stomach was growling while you were sleeping, noisy as anything. I’ll take you to the victory banquet to eat something good.”

“Yes.”

When he heard the servant’s announcement earlier, Yanzhi remembered that there was a palace banquet tonight.

He hurriedly scrambled off the couch, but as soon as his feet touched the floor, a wave of soreness hit his waist and legs, making him wobble and unable to stand steadily.

Xiao Cuan grabbed his arm and pulled him up.

“Stand straight. Why are you as soft as a noodle?”

“I’m sore all over…”

“How come I’m not sore?” Xiao Cuan countered. “You’re the only delicate one.”

Yanzhi pursed his lips and didn’t argue. He moved to the clothes rack, stood on tiptoe, took down the clean clothes draped over it, and walked back to the Emperor to help him dress.

Xiao Cuan opened his arms, allowing Yanzhi to drape the outer robe over him and tie the belt.

He looked down at Yanzhi’s round head, then at his docile and serious expression as he moved, and lowered his voice, saying: “Favorability detection error.”

“Ah?” Yanzhi looked up, his expression bewildered. “What did Your Majesty say?”

“What did I say?” Xiao Cuan asked intentionally.

“I heard Your Majesty mention something about firecrackers…”

“Your ears are broken.” Xiao Cuan rubbed his ear.

“Is that so?” Yanzhi never doubted the Emperor’s words.

He tilted his head and seriously patted his own ear: “I have been feeling some itching in my ears lately. Your Majesty is truly divine in your calculations to know that.”

Xiao Cuan couldn’t help but laugh out loud: “Idiot.”

Such a docile, obedient, stupid, and pitiful little dog.

Whatever he said, he would believe it. Even if he were bullied harshly, as soon as he woke up, he would still wag his tail and stick to him.

How could Yanzhi possibly not like him?

The detection must be wrong.

*

The entire Liang nation was of one mind, having fought for many years, and the world was finally unified.

Today was a day of great joy, and the palace was brightly lit, with the servants in high spirits.

The civil and military officials, along with their families, waited outside Taihe Hall according to their ranks.

A young man dressed in luxurious clothes, standing behind his father, shifted his weight and whispered: “Father, it’s dark already. Why hasn’t the Emperor…”

The father whispered a stern warning: “This is a solemn palace ground, do not speak recklessly!”

“Yes.” The young man was quiet for only a moment before speaking again. “Father, you said when you were twenty-three, I was already three years old. The Emperor is already twenty-three, and this is his first time holding a selection. Does he have some kind of…”

“Mingyu!”

“Father, don’t you always say I’m neither good at literature nor martial arts, and only cause you trouble? With this selection, I’ll prove to you that I can also bring glory to our family…”

“Bian, Ming, Yu!”

Seeing that his father was about to faint from anger, Bian Mingyu hurriedly shut his mouth, lowered his head, and stood properly.

“Father, I was wrong, please don’t be angry…”

Just then, an announcement came from afar—

“His Majesty has arrived! His Majesty has arrived!”

The announcements echoed, drawing nearer.

Battle drums thundered, and the ground shook.

Bian Mingyu was suddenly pulled to the ground by his father. Father and son, along with all the officials, knelt and bowed, shouting in unison—

“Greetings, Your Majesty! Long live Your Majesty!”

Bian Mingyu followed behind his father, bowing deeply, unable to see anything.

He mustered his courage and quietly lifted his head to look ahead.

Palace lanterns flickered, and shadows overlapped.

Kneeling, standing, and walking—many different shadows moved before him like a carousel.

It made his eyes dizzy.

In the next moment, boots stepped past, and the dust settled.

The corner of a dark-patterned robe brushed past his eyes, disappearing in an instant.

Then, the hem of an indigo-blue coarse cloth robe, like clear lake water in spring, rippled into his view.

Bian Mingyu instinctively looked up, wanting to see more clearly.

The owner of the robe seemed to have noticed his gaze and slowed down intentionally.

But before he could see anything, his father forcefully tugged at his sleeve, warning him not to act rashly.

Following that, the dark-patterned robe also moved back, grabbing the owner of the indigo robe and pulling him away directly.

“Your Majesty…”

Yanzhi was suddenly grabbed by the wrist by Xiao Cuan and pulled forward. He stumbled and nearly fell.

Xiao Cuan didn’t even look back, just pulled him forward with large strides.

Yanzhi had been tossed about all day; he had no strength left and his legs were still weak. He struggled to keep up, but it looked as if he were being dragged.

With the officials present, Yanzhi only dared to call out softly: “Your Majesty…”

Xiao Cuan ignored him, simply continuing forward.

Until they ascended the stone steps and crossed the threshold.

Xiao Cuan pulled Yanzhi up to the high throne.

With a flick of his hand, he threw Yanzhi onto a soft cushion and then sat down himself.

Yanzhi came to his senses and struggled to get up, sitting properly on his knees.

Xiao Cuan placed his hands on his knees, his gaze cold and stern as he scanned the surroundings.

Finally, he said coldly: “Rise.”

The palace servants outside conveyed the imperial decree, and the officials bowed and kowtowed once more.

Three kowtows and three bows, the etiquette was thorough.

Xiao Cuan only gave it a single glance before turning his head away impatiently toward the empty space beside him and whispering a single word—

“Skip.”

Yanzhi looked up, blinking his eyes, and stared at him seriously.

This time he truly heard it; his ears weren’t broken.

He heard His Majesty say…

“What are you dazing for? Pour the wine.”

Xiao Cuan turned back and saw Yanzhi staring at him with a blank expression, so he looked back coldly.

“Ah?”

“Pour the wine.”

Yanzhi blinked one last time and looked closely.

Only then did he realize that, at some point, the imperial desk in front of him had been filled with various delicacies.

The officials had already entered the hall and were seated in order.

The palace servants had placed the wine and food and were about to leave after bowing.

When were the food and wine placed? When did they enter?

He hadn’t noticed at all.

Yanzhi felt as if he were in a dream.

Seeing that he wasn’t moving, Xiao Cuan pulled off a roasted lamb leg and tossed it in front of him.

With a “clank,” the solid lamb leg nearly broke the plate.

Yanzhi snapped out of it, only to see the Emperor already holding a dagger, cutting the roasted lamb on the desk into pieces with swift strokes.

The lamb had four legs; three were placed in front of the Emperor. The other one was generously given to him.

“Twelve hours in a day, and you’re dazing off for thirteen. If you were with someone else, you wouldn’t even get a scrap of meat and would have starved to death long ago.”

Yanzhi sat up straight, held a bowl with both hands, and scooped half a bowl of meat porridge: “Your Majesty, eat something first.”

Xiao Cuan took the bowl and took a large gulp, but suddenly said: “Ten.”

“Hmm?” Yanzhi was confused.

“Every time I call you, you’re all dazed, and it takes ten counts for you to snap out of it.”

“I…”

Just then, Xiao Cuan suddenly raised the dagger he used to carve the lamb and thrust it toward Yanzhi.

Yanzhi was so frightened that he froze in place, unable to move.

After who knows how long, he finally called out in a trembling voice: “Your Majesty…”

The dull back of the blade brushed against his cheek. Xiao Cuan laughed, retracted the dagger, and pinched his cheek.

“Still ten counts.”

“The blade is already at your face, and it still takes you ten counts to react.”

Yanzhi touched his face, confirming he wasn’t bleeding, and then breathed a sigh of relief: “I am dull…”

“You are indeed stupid. With you being so dim-witted and clumsy, without me, who knows how many times you would have died.”

Xiao Cuan tossed the dagger in front of him, the blade sticking into the desk and wobbling.

“In a pack of wolves, the alpha distributes the prey to those below. I’ve finished distributing; you do the rest.”

“Yes.”

Yanzhi lowered his head, picked up the dagger, and cut the roasted lamb leg in front of him into small pieces, placing them on a plate in front of the Emperor.

Xiao Cuan ate while looking into the hall.

There were many officials in the court, and with their families, there were over a hundred people attending the banquet tonight.

The seating order of the banquet followed a set of rules. Naturally, those closest to the Emperor’s throne were the high-ranking officials and trusted aides.

During the discussion in Taiji Palace during the day, Xiao Cuan had told them to bring their children to the victory banquet for him to see.

They didn’t dare to disobey and brought them all.

Both sons and daughters sat properly behind their respective fathers.

Xiao Cuan chewed the lamb meat, his eyes narrowing slightly. His gaze, like that of a hunting tiger, swept across their faces.

He casually called out: “Bian Ying.”

The forty-something-year-old official, hearing the Emperor call his name, hurriedly stood up with his son and came to the center of the hall to bow: “Your subject Bian Ying, along with my son Mingyu, congratulates Your Majesty. May Your Majesty live for ten thousand years, and may Great Liang live for ten thousand years.”

Xiao Cuan didn’t even say “Rise,” but simply frowned, looking sideways at Bian Mingyu, who was following behind his father.

Yanzhi, while cutting the lamb leg, quietly stuffed a piece into his own mouth and also looked up.

Lord Bian was a clean and honest official; his official uniform even had patches.

His son, however, was dressed luxuriously, wearing clothes embroidered with gold thread and a purple-gold headpiece adorned with a large piece of white jade.

No wonder his son was named “Mingyu.”

Of course, these things weren’t from Lord Bian’s corruption; Yanzhi recognized them.

Previously, Lord Bian had followed the Emperor on his expeditions and counted the spoils of war for him. Sometimes, when the Emperor was happy, he would reward him with some gold and silver.

He never used it himself; it turned out he had kept it all for his son.

Yanzhi’s eyes curved as he silently gave Lord Bian a thumbs up.

What a good father!

At this time, Lord Bian also sensed something was wrong during the long silence. He looked back and hurriedly explained: “Your Majesty, I have only this one son after many years, and I have been quite indulgent with him. I apologize for Your Majesty’s amusement.”

“It’s fine.” Xiao Cuan waved his hand. “When I asked about your son during the day, what did you say?”

“I…” Lord Bian paused. “I said he was dull-witted and unruly.”

Bian Mingyu looked up in disbelief and secretly poked the bottom of his father’s foot.

Yanzhi caught a glimpse of it but didn’t dare say anything, quickly lowering his head and trying to hold back his laughter.

“At that time, I thought you were just being modest, but seeing him now—” Xiao Cuan sighed, appearing quite disappointed. “You may go.”

“Yes.” Lord Bian finally breathed a sigh of relief and pulled his son, limping back to their seats.

Following that, Xiao Cuan called out the names of several more officials.

The officials understood and brought their children forward to offer their congratulations to the Emperor.

Xiao Cuan looked through all the children of his close officials but still couldn’t find a suitable one.

He was patient at first, looking at them one by one.

Later, he simply called out two or three officials’ names at once, letting them come out together.

Xiao Cuan leaned back, his entire body resting casually against a bolster. He picked up a piece of lamb leg Yanzhi had cut and tossed it into his mouth.

“My officials are all versatile and naturally talented. How can the children they bear all be so crooked and irregular? Why is there even one with an aptitude of thirty-eight?”

Xiao Cuan frowned and pinched Yanzhi’s face, pulling him to his side: “Look, there’s actually someone in the world stupider than you.”

“It hurts…” Yanzhi covered his face. “Your Majesty, there may not be anyone perfect in the world. I think the young masters and ladies are all very good, not as bad as Your Majesty says…”

At least they all looked kind and wouldn’t forbid him from eating at every turn, as the Emperor said.

If one of them were made Empress, Yanzhi would be at ease.

Xiao Cuan countered: “How can there not be? The officials and generals I selected, and the army and court I built—which one isn’t perfect? If I build a harem, why can’t it also be perfect? My Great Liang must be a perfect dynasty.”

Yanzhi explained softly: “But… the harem isn’t an army. As long as Your Majesty likes them, that’s enough…”

“Like?” Xiao Cuan interrupted him. “I like gold and silver the most. Why don’t I just move a few boxes of gold cakes from the treasury to the harem then? Oh, I also like beef and mutton. Should I lead two sheep to the harem and crown them Empress?”

Yanzhi quickly said: “I’m not talking about that kind of ’like.’ I mean liking a person.”

“Exactly.” Xiao Cuan said righteously. “I like someone who is beautiful, from a noble family, highly talented, and knows how to manage a household—”

He looked at Yanzhi and slowly spat out the last word: “—people.”

“Any problem?”

“What I mean is—” Yanzhi explained, “if you truly like someone, you won’t care whether they can manage a household or not…”

“What do you know?” Xiao Cuan was too lazy to argue about such a stupid thing with him and pointed at the desk. “Bring the wine.”

“Yes.” Yanzhi pursed his lips, held the wine cup with both hands, and offered it to the Emperor.

Xiao Cuan lowered his head and took a large gulp directly from his hand.

With a bit left at the bottom of the cup, Yanzhi took it and drank it himself.

Ever since the Emperor was accidentally poisoned by wine last time, Yanzhi had become the one who tested for poison by his side.

Every time the Emperor drank, he would always leave a little for him.

Xiao Cuan scanned the desk and said again: “Cut that plate of venison too.”

“Yes.” Yanzhi put down the wine cup and obediently cut the meat.

“Venison is good for your yang. You don’t have to sneak a piece; eat two pieces openly. We’ll continue when we get back tonight.”

Yanzhi looked up in disbelief, his eyes wide and round.

Xiao Cuan was sitting with his arms crossed and legs up, frowning as he scanned the crowd in the hall, searching for a suitable candidate.

“Each generation is worse than the last. How can they not even produce a single Empress?”

Yanzhi stuffed a piece of venison into his mouth, his cheeks puffed as he chewed and chewed.

Hmm…

So in His Majesty’s eyes, choosing an Empress is the same as choosing a general.