Chapter 36#

Yu Lin looked up, “Yu Ming, is your hatred appeased?”#

Wearing the overcoat handed to him by Immortal Lord Chongwu, he walked out of the Demonic Sect’s secret realm in a daze.

“A-Lin, why is it only you and Shizun? Where are Junior Brother and Junior Sister?”

Hearing Yu Ming’s voice, Yu Lin subconsciously shrank back.

His eyes were red from crying, his hair was disheveled and full of misery, and he pursed his dry, cracked lips, giving no answer.

Panic surged in Yu Ming’s heart for no reason. “They… couldn’t have…”

Patter.

Yu Lin closed his eyes slightly, and tears rolled down again. His reaction seemed to confirm Yu Ming’s suspicion.

Yu Ming took two steps back in disbelief, his steps tottering. Then he rushed forward again, grabbing Yu Lin’s collar tightly and murmuring, “It’s impossible… You’re lying to me, right!”

Yu Lin shook his head desperately, repeating over and over, “I’m sorry.”

Yu Ming’s teeth chattered slightly, his fierce gaze locked tightly onto him, and he roared hysterically at the top of his lungs, “Hurry up and say you’re lying to me! Say it!!”

Immortal Lord Chongwu stood silently behind Yu Lin, making no move to interfere, watching the confrontation between Yu Ming and Yu Lin with cold eyes.

Yu Ming’s voice gradually grew hoarse. By the end, he was also exhausted. He slumped, letting all the strength leave his body, and said in a raspy voice, “Give me back my junior brother and junior sister.”

At the mention of his junior brother and sister, Yu Lin shuddered subconsciously. A tide of memories flooded his mind all at once, dragging him down into an abyss.

His expression gradually turned timid, and he called out softly, “…Shixiong.”

…

“If only you hadn’t been like that back then.”

“You really aren’t even half as obedient and sensible as Yu Ling!”

Yu Lin hugged his knees, curling himself into a ball.

His pavilion was left in a complete mess by his own doing, and the blood-stained jacket from that day was discarded messily to the side.

A thin sweat kept breaking out on Yu Lin’s forehead. He had been plagued by nightmares day and night lately, filled with Yu Yuan’s gentle smile and Yu Xuan’s jokes.

As soon as he woke up, everything was gone again.

Yet he was stubbornly obsessed with that illusory dream. Having only been awake for a few hours in a daze, he would force himself back into the dreamscape, just to search for those two shadows that were like the reflection of the moon in water.

Consequently, the hours he spent awake in a day were less than half.

“Yu Lin.”

Immortal Lord Chongwu pushed open the door and saw Yu Lin sitting on the edge of the bed, loosely draped in a single garment. He had thinned down significantly, his face barely the size of a palm.

His eyes were cast down, his butterfly-wing-like eyelashes fluttering, but there was not a single spark of life on his face, like a beautiful doll with only an empty shell remaining.

Seeing him like this, the words of comfort that had just reached Immortal Lord Chongwu’s lips inexplicably turned into baseless blame.

“Why haven’t you cleaned up your own room properly? The weeds outside made Yu Ling trip yesterday.”

Facing his interrogation, Yu Lin mumbled for a long while before speaking in a hoarse voice, “…I’m sorry.”

During the days he locked himself in his room, Yu Ming also kept a great distance from him. Perhaps because they were separated by the lives of two close ones, they could never return to the way they were before.

Yu Ming spent his days taking Yu Ling sightseeing and enjoying themselves, carefree and happy. Even Immortal Lord Chongwu treated Yu Ling exceptionally well, buying a share of whatever fun novelty there was for him.

Seeing his cold and completely listless attitude, Immortal Lord Chongwu grew angry and deliberately provoked him, “Since you are so guilt-ridden and care so little for this courtyard, why don’t you go to the dark room to reflect on your sins? At least you won’t be an eyesore here!”

Yu Lin paused for a moment, murmuring, “An eyesore…” Then he nodded gently, “That is fine too.”

He couldn’t muster even a shred of desire to resist; he felt it was the same no matter where he was.

The dark room exuded a chilly air, and the bed was very hard, far from being as soft as his original one. Yet Yu Lin noticed none of it, as if he had already merged into one with the cold, dark room.

So cold…

Just as cold as the Demonic Sect’s secret realm.

Belatedly, he wrapped his arms around himself, his body trembling slightly. He closed his eyes, and the surroundings seemed to return to the Demonic Sect’s secret realm.

“A-Xuan, A-Xuan!”

Yu Yuan’s hands were covered in blood as she tightly hooked her fingers with Yu Xuan’s. Seeing Yu Xuan’s breath as thin as silk, she turned her head and glared at Yu Lin with pure hatred, “It’s all your fault!”

“If it weren’t for you, how could it have turned out like this! I hate you!”

Hate me…

Yu Lin’s tightly shut eyelashes trembled violently. His forehead was burning hot, and in his daze, his mind was entirely filled with scenes of the Demonic Sect’s secret realm.

He could no longer distinguish between illusion and reality; whenever he opened his eyes, all he saw was a blur.

Yu Lin sat up with great effort, stared at the sharp sword placed by the bedside for a long time, picked it up, and slashed down at his own wrist.

Blood gushed out like a torrent, and soon, the blood from his wrist dripped down through his fingers onto the bed, filling the room with a metallic, bloody scent.

“…Is it like this?”

He calmly watched the blood dripping before him, recalling the way his Shixiong and Shijie had been covered in blood. Closing his eyes, he felt his life slowly slipping away.

Perhaps because the smell of blood was too heavy, the people outside sensed that something was wrong.

“Yu Lin!”

Yu Ming pushed open the door. Seeing his calm expression as he slit his wrist, Yu Ming stepped forward with a contorted face, grabbed his collar, and sneered, “Do you think you can just end everything by dying?!”

“This is a life exchanged for by my junior brother and sister. What right do you have to die?!”

Looking at his face, Yu Ming remembered his willful and spoiled attitude. The thought that his junior sister and brother had vanished forever in the Demonic Sect’s secret realm because of his childish temper filled him with rage; he wished nothing more than to make him suffer.

Yu Ling was so obedient and sensible, why couldn’t he learn even half of that from him?!

Yu Lin seemed completely oblivious to his angry words, opening his eyes and looking at him blankly. “But they said they hate me.”

Since they hate me, do I even deserve to be alive?

Illusions and memories had already blurred together; he had forgotten the true state of how things actually were.

Yu Ming did not know what they had discussed in the Demonic Sect’s secret realm. Hearing his words, he chuckled coldly, “They hate you too, don’t they? That’s exactly why you must live on with this hatred. How could we let you off so easily!”

Yu Lin watched as shackles were placed on his slowly scabbing wrists, lowering his eyes in deep thought for a moment. “…Is that so.”

Fearing that he would commit suicide, Yu Ming confiscated his swords and locked him in shackles. Outside, there was daily laughter and joy, but it seemed as though none of it had anything to do with him.

…

Creak—

Yu Ming pushed open the door and stood there looking down at him. He squatted halfway down and handed him a fiery-red pill.

“This is a miraculous elixir Shizun found for Yu Ling to boost his cultivation. Its effects are not yet known, so try it first.”

Yu Lin frowned slightly. He did not take the medicine, but he did not speak either.

Seeing his reluctant look, Yu Ming grew somewhat annoyed and forced the pill into his mouth with displeasure. “Do you even have the right to refuse?”

As soon as the pill entered his mouth, it provoked a burst of biting spiciness. Yu Lin coughed violently, gasping for breath as he was forced to focus entirely on absorbing the medicine’s power.

Yet that pill was by no means a gentle thing. It ran rampant inside his body, causing wave after wave of scorching, fire-like heat, as though his body was being consumed by raging flames.

Yu Lin’s eyes flew open. He leaned forward and spat out a mouthful of fresh blood.

In his daze, he thought: Yu Ming really seems to hate him to the core, insisting on making him wish he were dead rather than alive…

Pain… it hurts so much…

Yu Lin’s back was drenched in cold sweat. He bit his lip until it bled, yet he still couldn’t suppress the painful cries wanting to escape his throat.

“I know I was wrong… I’m sorry…” Tongues of fire swept through his internal organs, and his spiritual energy was being burned, nearly to nothingness.

“I was wrong…” His face was covered in tear stains as he tried with all his might to stretch out his hand to end his own life, but every time he tried to use his spiritual energy, it was entirely absorbed by the shackles.

He didn’t know how much time had passed before a figure finally appeared before him.

“Shizun…” Yu Lin looked at him with eyes full of hope, as if he had found a saving straw, struggling to move forward and grab his sleeve.

But he was brushed away by Immortal Lord Chongwu.

Immortal Lord Chongwu took a step back, letting him grasp at thin air. He was hidden in the shadows, making it impossible to read his expression.

Yu Lin stared at him blankly, his throat feeling as though it were gripped by an invisible hand, unable to utter a word.

He didn’t know how much longer this fiery burning would last. Yu Lin was in so much pain that his entire body lacked strength, yet he could not find release. Thus, he panicked, “Shizun… don’t leave me here alone…”

“Shizun, this looks so painful, I don’t want to use it anymore.” Yu Ling hid behind Immortal Lord Chongwu, poking his head out to speak.

Immortal Lord Chongwu looked at him for a moment. He did not respond to Yu Lin, but instead turned around to say to Yu Ling, “Alright, I will find you something else.”

“…Shizun?” Yu Lin collapsed onto the ground, looking at him with a face full of confusion.

He did not know how many days the burning lasted before the pill’s effects finally ran their course.

His spiritual energy was completely burned away, and his inner core was shattered. He had truly and utterly become a useless person.

Yu Lin was already afraid of the cold. Without the protection of spiritual energy, how could he withstand the chilly air in the dark room? He remained sickly all day, without a shred of strength.

With a creak, the door was pushed open, and Yu Ling walked in with leisurely steps. Yu Lin turned his eyes to look at him. “What are you here for?”

Yu Ling nodded, “Naturally, to see the effects of the medicine.”

“To see the effects of the medicine…” Yu Lin found it extremely laughable and laughed softly, unable to help coughing twice. He wearily lowered his eyelashes. “Now you have seen it. Are you satisfied?”

Having his most pathetic state in his life witnessed by Yu Ling was no different to him than having his dignity torn to pieces and thrown on the ground. Yet, having gone through this ordeal, he had become remarkably peaceful.

“Yu Lin, the medicine’s effects should have worn off, you—” Yu Ming walked in, and seeing the two of them, his voice came to an abrupt halt.

Yu Lin was so thin he was practically skin and bones. The white robe hung loosely on his body, outlining the gaunt contour of his shoulders.

All those various illusions had been burned away along with the medicine. His eyes were clear, yet he seemed like nothing more than an empty shell.

Yu Lin looked up. “Yu Ming, is your hatred appeased?”

Yu Ming mumbled for a long moment, “…Your inner core?”

“Shattered.”

He calmly bared the scars hidden deep within for them to see, his eyes completely undisturbed.

Yu Lin smiled and glanced at Yu Ling. “…They really treat you so well.”

【Author’s Note】

Still love to consume this (munch munch munch) consume consume consume (munch munch munch) this sense of brokenness feels so good (munch munch munch)

Please bookmark! Please comment! Please send nutrient solution~ mwah mwah mwah mwah

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